Somebody Else's
by Jacqlor
Summary: Mac got married and was on leave. Jo was the one running the crime lab and she thought everything was doing fine, until Mac came back unexpectedly. Could the rift between the two of them get any worse? Or should Jo just leave the crime lab, New York, and... Mac?
1. Chapter 1

**To all JAC shippers, please don't hate me for this chapter. I understand this is quite a bold move considering I had only written one fanfic but please trust me on this one. I may not be able to update every day, but I hope that you'd bear with me. Thank you! Oh, and please don't forget to leave me some reviews. Thank you again!**

**Chapter 1**

"McKenna Llewellyn Taylor, do you take Christine Whitney to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do."

A tear.

"Christine Whitney, do you take McKenna Llewellyn Taylor to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do."

Another tear.

Jo wiped at her tears with a tissue that she had been clutching even before the ceremony began. She plastered a smile on her face while Mac and Christine exchanged rings.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Jo blinked her eyes, a second too long just as Mac's lips touched Christine's. She then opened her eyes again and smiled widely, a little too widely. She stood up as well, when all the guests did, while clapping their hands to the celebration of love they'd just witnessed.

When the newlyweds were swarmed by their guests, Jo hung back slightly from the crowd. She felt the rush of another batch of tears.

Mac received all the congratulatory messages, hugs, and kisses from family and friends. While Christine's family and close friends almost filled the whole church, his side of the church consisted only of his mother, Millie and his whole team.

Mac was wearing his Marines uniform and Christine was wearing a white, simple, but sophisticated ankle-length wedding dress. It was really just a simple wedding, attended by only the closest to them.

Mac embraced Millie who kissed her only son, tears of joy in her eyes. She was happy that finally, her son had moved on from the tragic death of Claire. And though she knew that Mac won't ever forget Claire, as she did not, even a second, forgot her own husband, the important thing is he fought hard for his life back.

When Mac was released by Millie, the whole team went in to hug him and Christine. Lindsay's hug was the tightest, and the longest. She looked at Mac as her father away from home, and turned to him every time she's having difficulties in life. And Mac was always there for her too, giving her his full support, and offering his help.

Mac looked around him, as though looking for someone.

He then spotted her lurking around at the back of the group.

Jo saw Mac picking his way to her direction and she hastily checked her reflection using the front camera of her phone to make sure that there was no trace of tears left on her face.

"Hey Mac! Congratulations! It was a beautiful wedding." Jo exclaimed to him when he finally reached her.

"Thank you! I'm glad you came." Mac said smiling happily, opening his arms to receive Jo's hug.

When they released each other, they looked into each other's eyes, smiling. It was a brave thing for Jo to do because even if she's truly happy for Mac, she knew that it would only be a matter of time before her eyes betray her to him. So, she looked away when it became too painful for her to look at his eyes and smile.

Just as Jo looked away, Mac frowned a bit, sensing something odd, though he couldn't figure out what.

"Christine's looking for you, Mac. Go back there." Jo said to him, distracting his thoughts.

He looked up to see Christine scanning the crowd, most probably searching for her husband. Mac gave Jo a quick hug before turning on his heels and joins his wife.

After the wedding, they all gathered at Christine's restaurant for the reception. Tables and chairs were rearranged in a way where a presidential table could be staged in front of all the guests.

Midway through the party, they were asked to dance their first dance as a married couple, to which they happily obliged.

When the first verse of the song was being played, and the couple started dancing to it, everybody was watching and cheering quietly.

She saw this as an opportunity to escape and so Jo quietly stood up from their table to leave the restaurant.

"Where are you going?" Lindsay, who was sitting beside her half-whispered.

"I'm going home. It's already late. Ellie's alone at home." Jo said, knowing fully-well that Ellie was already old enough to take care of herself, but Jo couldn't think of another excuse.

Lindsay frowned a little but nodded her head at Jo.

Jo quickly but quietly slipped out of the restaurant to the cool, New York night. She left the venue as discreetly as possible, trying to do it without anyone seeing her, as they were all engrossed at the lovely dance in front of them.

Mac saw a movement outside the restaurant from the corner of his eye. He thought it was just some pedestrian passing by but there's something familiar about that woman.

_Jo?_

Mac and Christine swayed to the music, but Mac's eyes did not leave Jo as he watched her hail a cab. He watched her rode off at the back of the cab, without even glancing at him, not even a wave in his direction. He felt Christine's eyes on him and he tore his gaze away from the now-tiny yellow car in the distance.

Ellie put the mug of hot cocoa at the bedside table before pulling the duvet off the bed. She then slid into the bed, sat and leaned her back at the large headrest.

"Why did you still went there, when I told you a number of times not to?" Ellie asked sighing.

Jo was lying on her side, facing away from Ellie.

Ellie placed her hand on Jo's head, and patted it gently just like how her mother used to do to her when she was a young girl.

"How can I not go, Ellie? If I say no, there'd be more suspicions." Jo said sitting up.

Ellie took the steaming mug from the bedside table and gave it to her mother, which Jo gratefully accepted.

"I am his second in command, and his bestfriend…" Jo hesitated a bit "…Well, at least that's what I'd like to think. Though, after that night, I'm guessing I'm not anymore, but how can I not attend the most important event of his life?" Jo said after taking a couple of sips of hot cocoa.

"Yeah, I understand that, but you're only hurting yourself. I told you that you can use me as an excuse. You could've said that I was home, sick. You could've gone there and left right before the ceremony started. Tell them I called you on your phone and asked you to come home right away because I'm not feeling well. But of course, you were being stubborn again." Ellie said, exasperated.

"Oh Ellie, I don't want to lie, okay?"

"Yeah. Right." Ellie said shaking her head.

"He's so happy, Ellie. He's so happy with her. And he's very handsome in his uniform." Jo said, sniffling.

Ellie sighed at the sound of Jo, sniffling. Her mother seldom cried and she only cries if things became too much for her to bear. And this time, she knew that Mac getting married to Christine just became more than too much for Jo.

Jo put the now-empty mug at the bedside table on her side of the bed. She laid back down, pulling Ellie down with her.

"Sleep here with me tonight, okay?" Jo whispered against Ellie's black curls.

Ellie nodded her confirmation and snuggled closer to Jo.

"I love you, mom."

"I love you, baby."

Jo walked out of the elevator when it stopped at the 35th floor.

On her way to her office at the end of the hall, she glanced at Mac's dim office. She was not used in seeing it that… dark. If you worked at the crime lab, you'd understand why Jo felt that way. The crime lab could easily be Mac's permanent address. It felt odd and empty whenever you looked at his office and no lights were on, blinds were down, and no hint of occupancy could be seen.

"Good mornin'" Jo greeted Lindsay, who was already at her desk, working on something on her computer.

"Hi, Jo! Good morning!" she greeted back with a smile.

"Ellie okay?" Lindsay asked Jo, remembering what she told her last night.

"Yup. I just wanted to be sure that she's not staying somewhere else when I'm not around, since it's already late." Jo lied, improvising as she goes.

Lindsay nodded.

"You can never be too careful. But we missed you last night. We had a group picture with Mac and Christine, the whole team's there except for you."

"Oh, bummer." Jo said, wanting to add something more but couldn't think of anything else appropriate to say.

Lindsay did not notice the too short response, though.

"Mac asked about you, I told him you got to rush to Ellie."

Jo looked up at Lindsay, unsure of how to react on that. So she did not.

The day came and went with just petty crimes here and there but nothing worth staying late for, as if knowing that the boss of the crime lab was on leave for his honeymoon.

Mac's accumulated unused leave was finally put into good use. He was on leave for a whole month for their honeymoon, going to Maui first then proceed to Napa Valley, where they planned to have some wine tasting for the restaurant.

"Oh, come on!" Jo exclaimed when she realized what Ellie had put on the player. "Not that again!"

"Why not? It's good. It's my favorite." Ellie countered to her mother's whining.

"But we've already seen it a lot of times already." Jo said as she took a handful of buttered popcorn and shoved half into her mouth.

"Yeah, but the last time was almost two months ago." Ellie reasoned as she sat next to Jo and played the video.

The movie started with the scene where people were milling around the airport, kissing and hugging friends, families, and lovers. They were watching "Love Actually". It was Ellie's ultimate favorite movie and she would always watch it when nothing new was out and worth watching.

Jo stopped whining when the movie progressed because honestly, she liked it too.

Everything was doing well, and she was really enjoying their movie night when suddenly the screen showed Keira Knightley opening the door to see Andrew Lincoln with signboards standing outside, asking her to be silent.

_ ._ Jo thought. _I totally forgot about this scene._

When Andrew Lincoln started to walk away, Ellie spoke up, catching Jo off-guard.

"You know what, mom? When worse comes to worst, maybe you should just do the same thing. Tell Mac that you love him without having to speak at all."

Jo looked at Ellie, eyes wide.

"Are you out of your mind?" Jo finally uttered.

"I'm just saying." Ellie shrugged her shoulders and turned her eyes back to the movie.

Jo rolled her eyes at Ellie then shook her head. She then turned her attention again at the movie, just in time to hear,

"Enough, enough now." Andrew Lincoln said as he walked away.

Jo swallowed to a dry throat.

_Enough, Jo. Enough now._


	2. Chapter 2

_**From Chapter 1**_

"_Are you out of your mind?" Jo finally uttered._

"_I'm just saying." Ellie shrugged her shoulders and turned her eyes back to the movie._

_Jo rolled her eyes at Ellie then shook her head._

"_Enough, enough now." Andrew Lincoln said as he walked away._

_Enough, Jo. Enough now._

**Chapter 2**

"Hi boss!" Adam greeted Jo when she walked out of the elevator.

"I'm not the boss, Adam." Jo said smiling amusingly at him.

"But Mac's not here so you're the boss for now."

Jo shook her head at him. It has been a week now with no serious crimes to solve and she's getting bored already. She would prefer to solve crimes than do the paperwork. The mountain of files and folders that used to be on Mac's desk, were now decorating the top of her desk, a part of the couch, and at the floor, near the window.

Jo sighed as she entered her office and took in her surroundings.

_Where are the thugs when you needed them?! _Jo thought forlornly.

She sat on her chair and started working, hoping that nobody would come in, in the next few hours to give her another batch of paper works.

* * *

It was already 1PM when her mobile rang.

"Danville"

"Hey Jo, heard you're missing field work." Flack said mockingly.

"Yeah, you got one for me? Please say yes!"

"Yup. I'm gonna say yes. Text you the address." Don said amused at her childish ardor.

"Thanks Don." Jo said hanging up.

Almost 2 hours later, Jo was already beside Don, listening to him as he briefs her over, Danny and Lindsay on their tail.

"Our victim is male, Caucasian, around 28 to 32 years old, stabbed twice at the neck, wallet burned to ashes, car racer, his name's…" Don took a look at his notes.

Jo walked over to the body and sucked in a breath when she saw the face.

"I know him" Jo said almost inaudibly.

Don looked at her unsure if he heard right.

"You know him?"

"Yes, he's the son of a friend of mine." Jo was now crouching over the body to take a better look at him.

Jo nodded again, now sure of the body's identity.

"Michael Wilmer"

The CSIs then started processing the crime scene after taking in the car wreck in front of them. It was one of those Super Late Models used in paved car racing. It was smashed against the wall of the arena, no hint of it once being a car. The interior of the car was doused in gasoline where they found the supposed to be wallet at the back seat. The wallet was now a pile of ash except for some part of leather which did not burned totally.

Another three hours later, they were back at the lab.

The case was a big puzzle to piece together. Clearly, the perp did not want anybody to find something inside the car that's why it was doused in gasoline. Wilmer's wallet was found at the backseat which was unlikely because even if he did not want it in his body, he could have tossed it at the passenger seat. And why would someone bring their wallet inside the oval when he could just keep it in his locker?

Such were the thoughts that were running through Jo's mind when she was asked by Sinclair to his office.

Lindsay was looking around the lab for Jo but she couldn't find her. She had found a partial print at the car door handle that confirmed Wilmer's identity.

When Jo got back to the lab, Lindsay was about to tell her about the print but stopped when she saw her tensed expression.

"Jo, are you alright?"

"Michael Wilmer, my friend's eldest son, was also Sinclair's godson." Jo said through gritted teeth.

Lindsay was stunned with what Jo said. _What a small world._

"So now he was asking us to solve this crime as soon as possible, and leave other 'petty' crimes to another team. He wanted the perp to be behind bars as soon as possible. He's practically breathing down our necks." Jo said just as she saw the file on Lindsay's hand.

"Print result?" Jo asked Lindsay.

"Yes. Michael Wilmer's."

"No other prints there?"

Lindsay shook her head.

"How about the CCTV footages around the oval? Did it capture the face of the perp?"

"Nothing on those also. Because there was no race and nobody was scheduled to use the oval, all the CCTV's were turned off. The owner said Wilmer did not have any standing appointment with them but he came this morning and asked the owner to let him use the oval. He said he just wanted to drive around, release some stress. Since he'd known Wilmer for a long time already, and nobody was using the oval nor was anybody scheduled to use it, they let him in, even without prior appointment."

"How about the perp, did he ID him?"

"No. He said Wilmer went there all by himself and did not notice anybody else went in. Even on their log book, only Wilmer was logged in."

Jo frowned.

"So either he was lying about not seeing anybody else or our perp was already there when Wilmer arrived."

Lindsay nodded.

"The walls around the oval were too high for someone to climb up to so the perp should have gotten there without climbing the walls."

"Easy access. He went through the door. Only, when?"

Danny walked towards them with a tablet in his hand.

"Wilmer was stabbed twice with a utility knife. Common one that you could find everywhere. It went through his jugular vein, making him bleed to death quickly."

Jo took the tablet from Danny which she also returned to him right away, when she realized that the answer to who killed Wilmer wouldn't be found there.

Jo looked past Lindsay and Danny and stared at the man who just got out of the elevator and then recognition dawned on her.

"You know him, Jo?" Lindsay asked, following Jo's gaze.

Sadness crossed Jo's features when she nodded her head at Lindsay.

"Jonathan Wilmer. Michael's father." Jo said, walking towards the man.

* * *

"Jonathan." Jo called out when she was near enough.

Jonathan looked up at the sound of his name and was surprised to see Jo in front of him.

"Jo?"

"Jonathan, I'm sorry for what happened to Michael."

Jo gave her old friend a tight embrace.

Jonathan nodded his acceptance and then frowned when he realized something.

"Jo, I thought you were with the FBI? Is the FBI on my son's case?"

"No, Jon. I am not with the FBI anymore, for two years now. I am now a Detective."

Jonathan smiled a little before sadness took over him, once again.

"What happened to my son, Jo?" Jonathan asked, tears glistening his eyes.

"Let's go in there." Jo said pointing at Mac's empty office.

Jo led Jonathan to Mac's office and turned on the lamps beside the door and the couch, casting the office a warm soft glow that was not too glaring, perfect for a gloomy day for the grieving man.

"I'll be with you in a minute." Jo said mentioning to the couch.

"Can I offer you anything? Coffee, tea, or water?"

"Water is fine, Jo. Thank you."

Jo nodded at him as she walked out of Mac's office.

A few minutes later she came back with bottled water in her right hand and a folder in her left.

She offered him the bottled water before sinking herself down next to him.

Jo waited for Jonathan to take a sip of water first before opening the folder.

When Jonathan saw the picture of his son, tears started pouring.

"Michael." Jonathan whispered through tears.

"We found him at the race track in Chemung. The interior of his car was drenched in gasoline and then set to fire." Jo said gingerly, watching Jonathan's reaction to her every words. Every single word that came out of her mouth was like knife stabbing at his heart over and over again.

"Have you found the person who did this to my son, yet?" Jonathan asked her, looking sadly in her eyes, hoping that Jo would say yes.

"Not yet Jon. We were still finding evidence that would lead us to the person." Jo said, not able to look him in the eyes. She couldn't imagine how painful it was to him to see his son like that but she couldn't lie to him either.

"But you will, right?" Jonathan was looking for assurance that his son would not die without justice being served.

"I will, Jon. I promise." Jo said, now looking at his eyes as she vowed to him and more to herself, that she will find the perp who did this to her friend.

"Jon, I'd hate to do this right now, but if you would answer some of my questions, it might be able to help us get to the one who did this to your son." Jo asked daringly. She knew not everybody could handle this part of the procedure, but she had to try.

Jonathan nodded his permission.

"Would you know anyone who could have motive against Michael?"

"You know how it was in the racing world. It's full of camaraderie, friendship, support, but also of betrayal, envy, competition. Everybody could be the killer."

Jo nodded, understanding what he meant. Sometimes, what you thought was a healthy competition was not anywhere healthy at all. Or, a friendly match could really turn into a deadly one.

Jo shuffled through the folder and pulled out a picture that was taken from the crime scene.

"We found what we supposed was Michael's wallet at the backseat of the car. It was burned to ashes but we could still figure out the shape of the wallet and the little piece of leather that was not able to burn off."

"Why would he bring his wallet to the oval while practicing?" Jonathan frowned at the thought.

"That is also my question. He could have left it in his locker before going out to the oval. And even if he had forgotten about it being in his pant pocket, he could have thrown it anywhere near him, or the passenger's side but not at the backseat, right?"

"Yes. It doesn't add up Jo. He had been racing for more than 20 years already. He started when he was still a little child, just learning the ropes from his dad. Then when he was a teen, he started joining competitions. He knew what to do and what not to do. And carrying a wallet was just not like him. He knew he wouldn't need it so he shouldn't be having it with him inside the car. He could have sat on it and felt the bulge so he should have taken it back to the locker, and not just throw it at the backseat. It'll just serve as a distraction." Jonathan stopped suddenly when something caught his attention.

"Jon, what is it?" Jo sensed Jonathan's hesitation and thought he might have thought of something that could provide some answers to the too many questions involving Michael's death.

"There shouldn't be a backseat, Jo." Jonathan said a renewed vigor in his stance.

"I'm sorry?" Jo was confused at his statement.

"This car. It had a backseat. But Michael's car did not have a backseat. He already had it removed right after we purchased it. This was not his." Jonathan was looking at Jo with alert expression.

Jo stared at the picture in front of them.

"Then whose car was this?" Jo muttered more to herself than to her friend.

"Maybe that was the reason why he was killed." Jonathan offered as a suggestion.

* * *

"Adam, have you found a match to the chassis number of the burned car?" Jo asked as she walked towards Adam.

"No. It was tampered, Jo." Adam said calling up the image of the chassis number.

"Every single identification marks we could use were tampered with. Someone did not want to be found."

"Have you checked his phone records and laptop? Maybe we could find something there?" Jo tried, frustration starting to get the better of her. Sinclair had just gotten off the phone with her, asking her to give him even a name or anything at all, but she couldn't give him anything because she didn't have anything.

"Actually I found something from his laptop. There was an album here that was full of pictures that resembled the burnt car. There's nothing else though, aside from the car. Nobody around it, no captions, no background sceneries that we could work with. Dead end, Jo. I'm sorry." Adam said shrugging frustratedly at the pictures on his computer screen.

Jo squinted her eyes at the pictures on the screen.

"Wait a minute, Adam. Can you zoom here please?" Jo asked, pointing the small area to Adam.

"Yes. That's our clue. That's the signature of the shop where the car was redesigned. Search on the company name, Adam. Call me when you have it."

* * *

It was already nearing midnight when Adam went into her office.

"Jo, I found the shop and the address. The main branch was in Alabama…"

Jo's head snapped up to look at the tablet Adam was reading from, when she heard her hometown.

"…but they also have one here in New York, Queens to be exact." Adam continued, aware of the deep frown that had etched itself to Jo's forehead.

"I know this." Jo said, quite unbelieving her eyes.

"It was Wilmer's. It was Jon's shop." Jo shut her eyes. How was she supposed to tell Jonathan that the suspect who had killed his son was their client?

That night, Jo had a hard time sleeping. She couldn't shake off the image of Jon earlier that night. The anguish he felt over his son's death left a mark in Jo's mind. She couldn't imagine going through the same situation and she felt very vulnerable. Now that Tyler was living away from home, she couldn't be sure what he was doing in his free time. She knew she taught him everything that she thought he should know about the society but temptation could be too good to pass up. That was what scared her the most. She trusted him but everything could change with just a single, unintentional, wrong move.

She finally fell asleep somewhere between 2 and 3AM, with thoughts on how to tell Jonathan of the result they had found in his son's laptop, clogging her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

_**From Chapter 2**_

"_It was Wilmer's. It was Jon's shop." Jo shut her eyes. How was she supposed to tell Jonathan that the suspect who had killed his son was their client?_

_That night, Jo had a hard time sleeping. She couldn't shake off the image of Jon earlier that night. The anguish he felt over his son's death left a mark in Jo's mind. She couldn't imagine going through the same situation and she felt very vulnerable. Now that Tyler was living away from home, she couldn't be sure what he was doing in his free time. She knew she taught him everything she could that he should know about the society but temptation could be too good to pass up. That was what scares her the most. She trusted him but everything could change with just a single, unintentional, wrong move._

_She finally fell asleep somewhere between 2 and 3AM, with thoughts on how to tell Jonathan of the result they had found in his son's laptop, clogging her mind._

**Chapter 3**

Jo opened the door to Wilm Speeds. She was greeted by a man in his forties with noticeable resemblance to Jonathan, who she guessed must be his younger brother.

"Hi, I'm looking for Jonathan? Is he in?" Jo said with a smile.

"Yep, he's in there somewhere" the man told her, pointing at the back room. "Who shall I say was looking for him?"

"Please tell him it's Jo Danville. Thank you."

The man nodded at her before disappearing into the back room.

A short while later, Jonathan emerged from the back room, his brother trailing behind him.

"Jo" Jonathan extended his hand to her "this is my baby brother Luke." he said mentioning to Luke behind the counter.

"Luke, this is Jo Danville, a friend way back from junior high. We used to hang out after soccer practice; she's with the school's cheerleading team."

Jo shook Luke's hand when he extended it to her.

"Nice to meet you, Luke."

"The pleasure is mine." Luke said.

Jo smiled at him before turning to Jonathan.

"I have something to talk to you, about Michael."

Jonathan motioned for her to follow him up to the second floor where his office was.

* * *

Jonathan closed the door to his office and took a seat behind the table, opposite Jo.

"What is it, Jo? Did you find anything about the killer?"

"Actually, I was expecting you could help with that. We searched through Michael's laptop and we found an album that contained pictures of a car that resembled the burnt car." Jo slid the case folder across the table for Jonathan to see.

"There was nothing to work with as only the car parts were here, plus the exterior. Which led me to you because I found this signature here." Jo pointed at the pictures as she speaks.

"It was designed here." Jonathan echoed what was in her mind.

"Yes, so I was thinking maybe you could recognize the car and the one who brought it here to you."

"We don't take pictures of the cars that we fix but we can match it with all those parts that were used and attached to that car. It would take a while, though." Jonathan said, already standing up to approach a file cabinet in the far corner of his office.

"Are you and Luke the only ones who were working here?" Jo asked, when she remembered not seeing anybody else when she entered the shop.

"No, I have five more crew members but I asked them not to come for the next five days, starting today. I was about to close the shop, we were only waiting for some scheduled deliveries and two more of our clients to come and pick up their cars. It was…" Jonathan trailed off and Jo saw the anguish flash across his face.

"It was for Michael." Jonathan just said simply, when he sat back down to his chair with a thick folder, and turned on his laptop.

"This could take a while Jo, I had to match every single thing in this car to our catalogue. Are you sure you want to wait? I can just call you when I got the name."

Jo nodded and gave him her card, before leaving the shop to head back to the crime lab.

* * *

_**Alabama Late Models King's Prince Dies**_

Mac did a double take when he saw the headline. He was checking the news on his mobile phone when he saw the word _Alabama_. He clicked the link to read the news story and was scrolling through it when he heard Christine's voice.

"Mac, we're on our honeymoon. Could you please stop working for a while?" Christine said, putting her arms around him.

"I was just checking the news headlines. And I was waiting for you."

Christine released him and stood up.

"And I'm ready now; let's go check the beach out." Christine said taking a bottle of sunblock and put it in her beach bag.

Mac stood up as well, and walked over to join Christine who was now waiting for him by the door of their suite, but not before he bookmarked the page he was reading on his phone.

* * *

Three hours after her small visit to Jonathan, Jo's phone rang.

"Danville"

"Jo, it's me, Jon. I have already matched the car to our files, and only one was a perfect match." Jon hesitated for a moment.

"Jon, who was the client?"

"You see, that's what I do not understand. The file was Michael's. But I never knew about this car. I have checked his finances, his bank records; nothing big was deducted from all of those. Unless, he opened another account without letting me know."

Jo pondered on what she had just heard. _What's with this case? Did somebody just commit a 'perfect crime'?_

"Jon, I think we have to talk to the crew members, see if they'd noticed anything while overhauling the car."

"Sure. I'll come over and give you the files." Jonathan said, before sighing heavily.

"Jo?"

"Yes, Jon?"

"Please don't give up on my son" Jonathan pleaded to her.

"I won't Jon. I won't even think about giving up. We will close this case only when we found out the truth behind Michael's death." Jo assured his friend.

"Thanks, Jo. I love him very much. He's my only son."

"Jon, what about…" Jo hesitated, weighing whether she should ask about it or not.

"What about, Lisa? Did she know already about Michael?"

"Not yet, Jo. She's on vacation with her sister in Paris. I didn't want to call her to say that our son died. They're coming home the day after tomorrow. And… Maybe by that time, we would already know about the killer."

Jo understood his sentiment and it fueled her more to look for the perp and let the Wilmers have their justice.

* * *

Jo asked Don and Danny to interview the crew members after Jonathan dropped the files off at the crime lab.

"Lindsay, you said the owner was at the counter when Michael Wilmer drove in right?"

"Yes, Jo, why?"

"How about the employees? Surely, he wouldn't be the only one running the whole oval?"

"He was the only one there that time. Seldom would there be anyone who would use the oval that time of the day. Usually, people come to practice in the afternoon, and mostly during the night. Even if there would be a few who would use the oval in the morning, there wouldn't be too much for him to not able to handle it by himself. So his employees' shifts would start in the afternoon, and early evening for some."

Jo sighed at the information. For every corner she turned, dead end awaited her.

"Great" Jo muttered through gritted teeth when her phone rang.

She noticed Lindsay looking at her and she held her phone up for her to see.

"Sinclair again?" Lindsay gasped when she saw the caller ID.

"Danville" she answered her phone while walking back to her office.

* * *

It was already dark when Don and Danny came back to the crime lab.

"Please tell me you've got some good news for me." Jo said when she saw them standing in her doorway.

Don shook his head at Jo.

"Sorry, I don't have any. They said they just do what was asked of them and because the overhaul was nothing extra ordinary, they did not pay any attention to it."

"Then I'd be the bearer of good news." Danny smirked at Don.

"This man here" Danny showed the picture to Jo.

"He's Alex Forde; he was the one who did most of the Vic's car. Although, he said he never knew that that car was Michael's. He also said that there was a day when a guy visited their shop and watched him overhaul the car. He was so keen at what Forde was doing and though some people really can be that much interested, there was something creepy about him. Forde said he kept on asking him if the paint used was flammable, and if the car itself would be more flammable than normal cars. When Michael saw him, he approached him and shook his hand before they both left the shop. Forde said although Michael was friendly towards the guy, there was something about Michael's demeanor that made him uncomfortable." Danny said lengthily, his brows furrowing more and more while he speaks.

Jo's forehead formed its own crease.

"Did he happen to hear what they talked about while in the shop?"

"Nope. They did not say much. Just shook hands, exchanged hellos and they're out the door."

"Did he give you any description?"

"Tall guy, about 6 feet tall, strong built, muscle guy and everything, which made him more intimidating, I guess. He's black, and had a gold cap on his front tooth. Forde said it glinted on him when he spoke. He's also wearing a gold earring on his left ear, an eagle with its wings spread as though ready to launch itself."

"Please give the description to Adam and tell him to check Michael's laptop and phone if there was any picture that would match the description." Jo said walking towards her things.

"I'm going over to the shop; see if Jonathan knew someone that looks like our guy."

* * *

When Jo drove out of the basement parking, she remembered that the shop would be closed today. She dialed Jonathan's number and asked him to meet her. They've decided that since nobody was home anyway, Jo would just go to the Wilmers' New York address.

"Jo, come in. Can I offer you anything?"

"No, Jon I'm fine. I came here because one of my CSIs got something from one of your crew members, Alex Forde. He said he did most of the work in Michael's burnt car, and one day there was this big man who went to the shop and was too keen in what he was doing." Jo proceeded to describe the man to Jonathan but he did not recognize him.

Jonathan stood up and paced the room. He was getting agitated for what was happening with his son's case.

"Jo, I'm really grateful for what you were doing to capture my son's killer but it's just so frustrating that every clue that we follow ended up with nothing."

"I understand Jon, but we won't stop. As long as there's evidence to work with, any statement given, any piece of evidence, no matter how small, I won't stop looking into this." Jo said standing up, patting Jonathan's shoulder.

"And what if there was none anymore?" Jonathan asked her, as he rubbed his face with his hands.

"Then I'll start anew. The answer's in there somewhere, we just have to look at it from a different angle." She said, her mind automatically wandered to Mac.

"Thank you so much, Jo. I just wanted to know who killed my son and why."

"I know. We're going to find the answer."

Jo hesitated a moment.

"Jon, was Michael living here with you, when you're in New York?"

"Yes. We'd stay in one place every time a family is in the area. I come here once every two months and we'd stay here. He would then go back to his place, when I went back home to Alabama. Why, Jo?"

"Do you think I can see his room? Try to find something that might be significant?"

"Of course. Please follow me."

Jo poked around Michael's room but found nothing. She went over to his closet, and shuffled through his things but came out empty-handed. She was about to leave his room when her eye caught something at the back of his room's door. It was a poster of a motorbike group. Thinking that it was not impossible, but a little unlikely for a car racer to post a motorbike group poster, she went nearer to it and gasped when her eyes landed at the corner where the logo of the group was printed.

"Jo, what is it?" Jonathan asked when he saw her reaction.

Jo pointed at the logo.

"An eagle about to launch itself." Jo said to him.

"I've never noticed it before. And I don't understand why this would be here. But I know where to find these guys. What was Michael doing hanging out with these guys?" Jonathan asked nobody in particular.

"Can you bring me to them?" Jo said, looking at Jonathan.

"Yes, I can. But I don't really like them, Jo. These guys do not have any conscience and would attack anybody they want for no reason at all. Their place is not for women, Jo. And I know you're with the FBI once and you carry a gun but I don't trust these people." Jonathan declined, fear clear in his eyes.

As much as he wanted to capture his son's killer, he wouldn't want to risk Jo's life. He had already lost enough; he didn't want to lose a friend who was only trying to help their family.

"I appreciate your concern Jon but I needed to go there. I will not do anything foolish. But I needed to see his face." Jo asked, already standing by the door, stubbornness on full-show.

"Jo, please. I really appreciate what you're doing. But… at least ask for back up, if you really wanted to do this, now."

"I will only look from a distance, Jon. I cannot afford to have back up lest I let them know that we're on them. Please, Jon. Sooner or later, I'm going to find out anyway. Why not just tell me now, save me some time searching. I promise you I will not do anything." Jo said, already opening the door.

* * *

They drove to the Bronx, using Jonathan's Cruiser. Jo sensed that they were near the place when she saw Jonathan turned off their headlights. A few moments later, Jonathan stopped the car. They were parked in an area surrounded by big and tall trees.

Jonathan pointed his finger through the windshield, but he really didn't have to as she can already hear the noise coming from the other side of the chain linked metal fence. She could also make out the faint hint of what she assumed were lights from motorbikes.

Jo opened the door of the Cruiser and walked closer to the fence. She tried to take a closer look at those who were at the other side of the fence but they were just too far from her. She took a look around her and saw an opening in the fence a little further at her right. She slowly made her way there ignoring Jonathan's plea to just go back home.

Jo slipped her small frame through the opening in the fence and went to walk closer to the direction of the voices, concealing herself with tall grasses and big burly trees around her. She used the faint glow of lights to lead her into an open area, as big as a football field where men and women with leather jackets either worn or tied around their waists were gathered together, motorbikes parked side by side, cigarette smokes coupled with fog lights clouding Jo's vision. She slipped through trees and walked closer still. When she got close enough to the bikers, careful to position herself away from any source of light, she tried to locate the man Forde was talking about. She scanned the area but did not see the burly man.

Jonathan was agitated when he saw Jo went through the opening. When she did not come out right away, sweat started dripping down his temple to his chin, his heart beat furiously against his chest. He knew how dangerous those people inside were and that is the reason why he discouraged Michael from joining any motorbike group. He did not want Jo to get hurt or worst, killed.

Jonathan almost got a heart attack when he saw a figure walking out of the opening. He was relieved when he saw it was Jo.

"Thank God! What the hell, Jo? I told you how dangerous they were, right?" He whispered a little loudly to her.

"Relax, Jon. I was careful. But I did not spot our guy." Jo sat at the passenger's seat and buckled her seatbelt.

"Had I known that you were going to do that, I wouldn't have gotten you here. My son just died, Jo. I don't want to get you killed too." Jonathan started the car, careful not to turn the headlights on.

They backed out of the area quietly, and drove back to the Wilmers.

"Do they go there every night?" Jo asked after a very long moment of silence, her mind was working triple time.

"I'm not going to tell you anything about them anymore, Jo. Not after what you did earlier." Jonathan said sternly.

"Come on, Jon. Just tell me, so that I wouldn't have to waste my time going back there every single night."

Jonathan shook his head.

"Not a chance, Jo. I really appreciate what you were doing for my family, but my conscience wouldn't let me sleep if something happens to you too."

Jonathan dropped her off the sidewalk where her car was parked before driving down the basement parking area.

* * *

Christine was already asleep in the beach-overlooking bedroom of their honeymoon suite when Mac crept his way out to the grand terrace adjoining the lounge area of their suite.

He turned on his phone and accessed his bookmarks. He clicked on the headline and waited a bit for the article to load itself on his phone.

_Michael Wilmer was found dead at a race track this morning in Chemung, New York._

_Michael Wilmer, the only son of Jonathan Wilmer of Wilmer Enterprises was found dead in the middle of a race track in Chemung, New York this morning, according to the NYPD. He was stabbed in the neck twice, severing the jugular vein which led him to bleed to death. His body was found beside the stock car which was smashed into the arena wall; its interior doused in gasoline, and was set in fire._

_The NYPD was still investigating the case and refused to release any more information to the media._

_Wilmer Enterprises is one of the 'Big Three' in Alabama stock car remodeling business, and owns the well-known Wilm Speeds shop in Queens, New York._

Mac's mind was working over time now. He knew Jo could run the lab all by herself but he could not just shut off his investigative side. He itched to dial the number he already knew by heart but it was already the middle of the night in New York City so he just made a mental note to make that call tomorrow.

Mac went back to their room and carefully slid beside Christine and tried to sleep. He turned on his side, only to lie on his back again but sleep was still evasive. His mind had already returned to its normal mode and his body was aching to fly back to the crime lab and help find the perp. He fluffed his pillow and lay on his stomach but it took him more than 2 hours more before he finally fell asleep.

* * *

**Thank you so much to all of you for trusting me once more. Again, let me use this space to thank my guest reviewers as I can only do so through here: Bluemoon909, Christina, aneezilda, Philip, thank you so much guys.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**From Chapter 3**_

_Mac's mind was working over time now. He knew Jo could run the lab all by herself but he could not just shut off his investigative side. He itched to dial the number he already knew by heart but it was already way past midnight in New York City so he just made a mental note to make that call tomorrow._

_Mac went back to their room and carefully slid beside Christine and tried to sleep. He turned on his side only to lie on his back again but sleep was still evasive. His mind had already returned to its normal mode and his body was aching to fly back to the crime lab and help find the perp. He fluffed his pillow and lay on his stomach but it took him more than 2 hours more before he finally fell asleep._

**Chapter 4**

She reached across the bed searching for warmth, but emptiness welcomed her arm. She waited for a second before fluttering her eyes open. She looked around the room, but found no trace of someone else being there with her. She sighed before forcing herself to prop herself up on her elbows. She frowned at the silence enveloping the room, wondering if she was still asleep and dreaming. But the rays of sunshine bathing the room and casting a warm light on her face proved to her that this is real.

She swung her legs over the bed and shrugged on her robe. She made her way out of the bedroom while tying her robe around her waist, listening intently for anything that might tell her of his whereabouts.

She walked to the lounge area and saw him sitting at the breakfast table in the grand terrace, a glass of orange juice already condensing but still almost full, his back to her. She quietly crept up to him but stopped abruptly when she saw him holding his phone in one hand, and writing something on the hotel notepad with the other.

Irritation started to swell inside her when she realized he was working on a case of some sort. On their honeymoon, nonetheless. They were surrounded by crystal-blue sea, lush greeneries, fine sand, warm, golden rays of sunlight; all of these complemented the serene, peaceful, exotic and romantic place they were in. And yet, he chose to devote his time in solving a case he was not even a part of instead of appreciating this paradise in front of them.

She cleared her throat to catch his attention.

"Hey, good morning." Mac said smiling at her, standing up to give her a peck on her lips, his hands hastily setting aside his phone, pen, and notepad.

"Yeah, I was looking for you" Christine said, not bothering to disguise the irritation in her voice.

"I woke up early and did not want to disturb you so I just stayed here." Mac said pulling out her chair before tucking it in again when she sat down.

"What were you writing there?" Christine asked motioning towards the notepad.

"Nothing, just something I read about." Mac said, taking the warm glass of orange juice.

"Mac, you're working, aren't you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Mac sighed before running his hand through his hair.

"It's just something about what I read from the internet." waiving his hand over the notepad, as if it was nothing important. "So what do you plan to do today?"

Christine calmed down a little when he asked about their activities for the day.

"Do you have anything in mind?" she asked him, keen on what interests him.

Mac paused a second before shaking his head.

"Whatever you want" Mac shrugged at her, smiling.

Christine frowned, feeling the irritation earlier surface again.

"I've been planning everything, Mac. Don't you have anything you'd rather do? In case you forgot, it's supposed to be _our _honeymoon, not mine alone."

Mac caught the irritation in her voice, and noticed the frown on her face and he did not want to argue with her, but he really did not know what to do.

"Christine, that's not what I meant. It's just that this is not my kind of thing. You know how long it had been for me…" Mac hesitated "I cannot even remember when the last time I went to a beach was. That's why I'm leaving everything to you, because I really have no idea on what to do in this kind of place." Mac said apologetically.

Christine softened up a little when she heard Mac's tone. Recently, she had forgotten all about his past. With the preparations for their wedding, their honeymoon, their wine tasting agenda, she forgot that he was very much a broken man when they met again. She forgot everything about his burden, and that made her feel a little guilty for her outburst.

"Let's just see what the hotel concierge would recommend to us." Christine said smiling at him, before standing up to go inside.

_Thank, God. Wouldn't want to argue with your wife during your honeymoon, would you?!_

That phone call he had been meaning to make would have to wait now; he did not want to take a risk now, not after how their morning started.

* * *

Jo spent the entire week trying to spot the suspect but every single night she spent lurking behind those trees proved to be a waste of time. The suspect could either be in hiding or she had already been spotted.

Jo sank onto her chair, elbow propped on the table, forehead on her hand.

"Jo, are you okay?" Sheldon asked when he saw her through her glass office door.

"Yup. I just really wanted to catch the perp that killed Michael Wilmer but he's too evasive."

Sheldon took a good, long, look at Jo when she finally turned her head to him.

"Jo, what were you doing for the past few days?" Sheldon asked her, frowning deeply.

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Well, you got some nasty dark circles under your eyes. You're starting to look like Mac." Sheldon said with a smile, but Jo could detect the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, just… doing my homework is all." Jo said with a wave of her hand.

When Sheldon left, Jo looked at the file on her desk once again. She had been taking pictures of the people in that group whenever she's out there behind the trees, and she wanted to make sure that she hadn't already taken a picture of him but didn't realize it.

Jo was startled when the noise of her ringing phone pierced through her concentration. She scowled when she saw it was Sinclair calling her. Getting fed up by his pestering, she stuffed her phone in the bottom drawer of her desk before looking back at the pictures.

* * *

Jo was already on her way to the same damn place to try her luck yet again tonight.

Before she left the crime lab, she called Ellie at home to tell her that she would go home later in the evening, and that she should not wait for her. She had been going home late since this case and Ellie would joke about it, saying that maybe she should call Mac and ask him to come back already because her mother had not only took over his position temporarily, but also some of his bad habits. Thankfully, Jo had not yet preferred staying at the crime lab instead of coming home to her.

Jo inched her way to the same hiding spot she had been using for the last few nights and stayed there with her camera on hand, her senses heightened, patiently waiting for the burly man with the eagle earring.

Jo had been watching the bikers go through routine after routine, screaming their lungs out, slapping each other's backs a little too hardly, it's a wonder they didn't spit blood out, since she arrived. After a good while, Jo sensed something different about to happen. The bikers cleared the area, only occupying the side on her left, leaving the opposite side open. She watched more intently when they started placing items after items, making the open space resemble an obstacle course. They placed drums on the sides of the rectangular area, three on each side, in regular intervals. They then lighted the drums, the gasoline inside them making the fire burn bright enough to serve as their lighting.

She heard a rumbling coming from the right side and she squinted hard to see what was causing that rumbling sound. Just then, she saw the motorbike whizzed past the obstacle course, only to return and tackle it efficiently, eliciting louder cheers and screams from the audience. Jo watched as the newcomer stopped in the middle of the open area, killed off his engine, took off his helmet and stood beside his bike.

He addressed the whole crowd before him, turning around to face every single person. He was talking about the 'battle' that was about to begin, when it happened. The light from the fire around the improvised arena caught something that was in his face, and Jo squinted when it gleamed. Suddenly, Jo felt her heart constrict in her chest. She realized where that gleam came from, and took notice of the man standing in the middle. He was burly, tall, black, and he had a gold earring.

_That's him._

Jo wanted to go over and invite him for some questions but she did not find the idea appealing so she just stayed and watched them from her hideout, waiting for the next thing that would happen. From all those nights that she camped out at this part of the Bronx, she already knew the whole area surrounding the improvised arena. She had made her rounds, even during the day, exploring each and every path that leads to and leads out of it. While the bikers were enjoying their 'battle', Jo had been mapping in her mind the way out of here if the suspect went out of the arena the same way he went in, her eyes not leaving the burly man. She wanted him to go back the way he came in because she knew that although it was just a few miles away from the freeway, she only had to be careful to avoid being detected. While, if he'd go the other way, it would not be possible for her to tail him at all since there would be too many alleys and small roads, so nothing could act as her cover.

A couple of hours later, she noticed them starting to break up. The fires were put out, tires were stacked, bikers rode away from the arena and to Jo's relief, the suspect went out through the same way he went in.

Jo quickly but carefully navigated her way out of her hideout to her car and tried to tail the burly man. She found the motorbike but there were hardly any cars driving this early, it was only 5:15 in the morning after all, so she did not dare drive closer to him.

After a few minutes, Jo saw him round the corner and she slowly rounded it too. She parked behind a delivery van when she saw him slow down a little. She climbed out of her car and followed him by foot. She saw him stop in front of a duplex apartment and went in. She walked further still to scan the area, only to turn around and go back to her car. She reached inside her pocket for her phone but her hand came out empty. She tried to look for it inside the car but couldn't find it either.

_Where the hell did I put it?_

Her mind wandered back to the crime lab, the day before. She remembered _Sheldon, pictures, no, wait… Sinclair! Damn it! I left it in the drawer!_ She let out a sigh before getting out of her car.

She went back to the corner store remembering the phone booth she saw when she rounded the corner. She called dispatch and asked to be connected to Lindsay. A moment later, she heard Lindsay's voice over Lucy's wailing.

"Lindsay, I might have found the perp on Michael Wilmer's case. I'm at the Bronx, and I don't know if I could come to the office on time. I'll explain when I come back to the crime lab. Just, please try to call Ellie and tell her I'm okay. I don't want her to get worried. I don't have my phone with me." Jo said a little quickly, afraid that the perp might leave the apartment while she's still on the phone.

"Okay Jo. I will. Be careful." Lindsay said while trying to pacify Lucy who'd been struggling from her arms.

Jo bought a couple of granola bars and a bottled water from the corner store after she made the call to Lindsay. She walked near the apartment where she saw the burly man entered, and when she saw the motorbike still there, she went back to her car.

Two hours later, the sun was already high in the sky. The man had not left the apartment yet and she thought that's where he must be living. She ate the granola bars one after the other and drank the water. The man still hadn't emerged from the apartment. Jo leaned back to her car seat and trained her eyes on the same direction for the longest time, until she felt her eyelids droop. She sat straight to avoid falling asleep and it worked, but only for a couple minutes. In less than 5 minutes, Jo's head was back at the head rest, her eyelids fighting hard to remain open, but the tiredness of her body was lulling her to sleep. She had been awake for the last 24 hours, and with all those nights that she lurked around the trees and bushes until the wee hours of the morning, she was not really capable of fighting the fatigue that was starting to consume her.

* * *

She woke up with a start. She realized she had been sleeping in her car for the last… _2 hours!_ She quickly went out of her car and walked to the direction of the apartment, her heart beating fast. When she saw the motorbike still there, she looked around a little. She was not sure if the suspect was still inside but she also had no other way to check. She decided to go back to her car and wait.

It was already past two in the afternoon when she finally saw him coming out of the apartment. She tailed him yet again but when she saw him turn to I-87, she knew that the traffic would not permit her to pursue any further. She thought about it for a moment before deciding to abandon the plan. She just hoped that he would be back at the arena later tonight, or if not, that apartment where they came from might as well be his home.

Jo turned back to the side street and went to find someplace where she could eat and plan her next moves as well.

* * *

"Danny, have you seen Jo, yet?" Lindsay asked her husband, forehead all scrunched up.

"Nope! I thought she called you this morning?" Danny looked at his worried wife, noticing the mobile phone she was clutching.

"Yes, but Sinclair was looking for her. And he said he couldn't reach her. She was not answering her phone. I told him Jo called me up this morning and told me that her phone was not with her. I told him she was trying to locate the perp in Wilmer's case but he won't have any of it. So now, he wanted us to give him any information about the case that he could pass to the media."

Danny nodded his head at his wife.

"Yeah, the media were relentless. I saw the ambush interview they did to Sinclair and he couldn't give them any details because he didn't have any. Did Jo tell you who her suspect was?"

"No. She just said she might have located him already. I think she said where but… but, Lucy was throwing tantrums and she was wailing so I didn't hear what she said and I didn't ask anymore because Lucy was trying to jump from my arms." Lindsay was almost close to tears now. She was not only worried about Sinclair, but also for Jo.

"Come here. Don't worry. It's not your fault. It's gonna be okay, babe." Danny kissed the crown of Lindsay's head, trying to comfort her.

"But it's already past three, and she hadn't called again." Danny hushed his wife, calming her down, but he could feel his own anxiety rise.

* * *

He had been looking at different flower species since they came here, and though they were really beautiful, he was getting tired of all these flowers. Christine had heed the suggestion of the hotel concierge to visit the flower farm near the hotel and he'd been smiling at her every time she squealed at the sight of an exotic flower, but he was getting tired of it. Truth be told, his mind was not even in Maui anymore. It was already back home, in New York. He wanted to know the details on the Wilmer case, especially when it was such a high-profiled case, him being the son of the 'Late Model King' and also since he knew that Michael Wilmer was Sinclair's godson. He was introduced to him by Sinclair himself during a Christmas party a long time ago, when the Wilmers attended another party somewhere near theirs.

His thoughts were brought back to the flower garden again when he heard his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, glancing at Christine's disapproving look; he looked at the caller ID. _Think of the Devil._

Mac did not expect Sinclair to call him especially when this was the first time he ever took a leave in a very long time, and it was supposed to be his honeymoon, but what he could have never had expected, Sinclair was asking him to shorten the honeymoon and to go back to New York.

Mac couldn't be happier to go back but he did not want to ruin Christine's vacation in the process. He walked a little further away from Christine before voicing out his concern but Sinclair wouldn't let him talk.

"Mac, I know it's cruel of me to pull you out of your honeymoon, and I know that this is the first time ever that you had a vacation, but the Department needs you. I supposed you had already read the news about Michael Wilmer?" Sinclair asked, knowing that there was a great possibility of the news reaching Mac already.

"Yes, I read from the wires. And I understand your concern but Christine… And, I'm sure Jo could handle it." Mac left an open window for Sinclair, wanting to know what could have happened for Sinclair to call him and ask him to go back.

"That's the problem…"

Mac's heart pounded on his chest. _What happened to Jo?_

"…I was trying to reach her since yesterday but I couldn't. Her phone was turned off and nobody knew where she was. I spoke with Messer earlier and she said Jo had called her early this morning to tell her that she left her phone somewhere and that she might have already found the killer. She also told her that she would explain everything when she comes back. The problem is she's not yet back and nobody knew where she was."

Mac closed his eyes in frustration. "What do you mean exactly when you said nobody knew where she was?"

There was a pause on the line before he heard Sinclair's voice.

"Well, nobody not even one, knew where she was. Not even her daughter."

"You called Ellie?" Mac heard his voice rise "And told her, her mother's… missing?" Mac couldn't even bring himself to say the word 'missing'. _She can't be missing._

"Not exactly. Lindsay said Jo asked her to call her daughter for her and tell her that she's okay. So I thought there might be a possibility that she didn't know where Jo was either."

Mac was clutching at his head now. He tried to think of something to say but his mind went blank.

"Mac"

Mac almost forgot that Sinclair was still on the phone, and his voice startled him a bit.

"You know who the Wilmers are, and though they were not doing or saying anything against the NYPD, the other privileged families were doing otherwise." Sinclair let his words sink in before continuing, "I can arrange a flight for you. In fact, you can fly in today. The plane would leave at 3 in the afternoon, Maui time; you can go back to your place first and rest then you can come to the crime lab tomorrow morning." Sinclair offered, but he knew Mac would go directly to the Crime Lab, as soon as the plane landed.

"Okay, please ask someone to email me the flight details. And please ask my team not to stop going over the evidences; Jo's location may be in there somewhere."

"Thanks, Mac." Sinclair said before hanging up.

Mac was startled when he heard Christine's voice.

"You're going back to New York?" Christine asked angrily.

Mac shut his eyes again before turning to face her.

"I'm sorry Christine, that was Sinclair. He asked me to go back to help solve the case. It was a high-profiled case and the Department was under media fire. And the victim was Sinclair's godson. I'm really sorry, I had to." Mac explained apologetically, but he knew she wouldn't understand.

"It's our honeymoon, Mac. You can't even leave your job for just a few weeks, to be with me?"

"Christine, that's not the point, and you know it."

"Well, what about Jo? She was supposed to take care of everything until you return, right?" Christine's exasperated now, and her voice was starting to rise a little.

"Jo… Jo was missing, Christine. Nobody knew where she was." Mac said worriedly. He wanted to fly to New York right this very moment. He did not want to argue anymore with Christine. He just wanted to find Jo, alive.

"Okay, Mac. I know you want to help solve the crime and to find Jo. But how about me? How about everything, Mac? We were scheduled to go to Napa, have you forgotten? Everything's paid for already. Everything's set, Mac. Have you ever thought about all those? Have you ever thought about me?"

Mac's patience was quickly running out. If Jo's with the perp, time is of the essence. He couldn't afford to lose more time, considering the number of hours his flight back to New York would take.

"Christine, listen. I am very sorry about this. I'll make it up to you. I really have to go now. My flight's at 3PM. If you want to go with me, let's go now."

Christine stared at him, unbelieving what he was telling her.

Christine shook her head at him. "Go" She knew nothing could change his mind.

Mac gave her a hug and a kiss then jogged away from her.

Christine watched her husband run away to save another woman. _Please prove to me that I made the right decision, Mac._

* * *

Mac was already on his way to the airport when he dialed Danny's number.

"Danny, I'm on my way to the airport right now, I'm coming back to New York. I'd be there around 6AM. Please leave all the reports on Michael Wilmer's case on my desk. All of them. Okay?"

"But you're on your honeymoon why a-…"

"Jo was missing, right?"

"Missing? Well… kinda. But she called Lindsay this morni-…"

"I know. Sinclair called me. She hadn't returned, had she? She'd not called again, either?"

"Uhh… no, on both accounts."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean."

"Okay, boss. I'll leave everything on your desk."

* * *

Jo was now back to her usual spot. She had decided to watch over them tonight, wait for the burly man to return, if he is going to return to the arena, that is. After which, she would tail him again and see where he leads her.

After having her lunch this afternoon, she went back to the duplex apartment and looked if the motorbike was there. When she saw that it was not there, she walked up to the door, and knocked. Her heart was hammering on her chest, and she did not know what to expect, but she had to risk it. She had to know who was living there with him, or if he even lives there, at all.

A young boy opened the door and looked at her with inquisitive eyes. It was nothing like what she could have expected. She didn't know what to expect, but she's sure that this boy could never be part of any expectations she could have had about this apartment.

Jo smiled a nervous but at the same time, warm, smile at the boy. Then the boy called out to someone inside the apartment, and Jo tensed instantly. When that person finally came into her view, she relaxed a little. A beautiful girl, around Ellie's age wrapped an arm at the boy's shoulders before asking Jo,

"Can I help you? in this sweet, breathy voice.

Jo smiled at them and asked about some random person. The young girl smiled at her but shook her head at Jo.

"I'm sorry; I don't know anybody by that name. Are you sure this is the apartment number? I know the people living next door, and there was not anybody by that name, either."

"Oh, okay. Actually, I am not really sure about the apartment number. The paper where it was written got wet and the ink ran so I'm just making wild guesses." Jo said smiling, _now, for the gold_ "You two seemed too young to be living by yourselves, were you even going to school?"

The young girl chuckled softly.

"Don't worry about us, our father comes home every day, but he had to work at night so we're left alone during the day. But it's okay because we also go to school, just not today because there's a special training for the teachers in our school that's why we don't have classes today."

Jo beamed at them.

"Okay then, take care of your little brother. And thank you." Jo reached out her hand to pat the cheek of the young boy, before turning to leave.

She walked back to her car and slumped on the driver's side. She never thought their suspect might have children relying on him. She prayed to high heavens that that burly man did not kill Michael Wilmer because otherwise, what would happen to those beautiful children? It was like reliving that day when she put Ellie's mother behind bars. _Please… please don't let it be him._

Jo's thought of what transpired that afternoon was broken by the loud cheer coming from the bikers. She turned to look what caused the loud cheer, and she smiled to herself when she saw burly man exhibiting his skills. She took multiple close up shots of him and then waited for them to finish the 'semi-finals', at least that's what she had concluded from his little speech before the battle started. Yesterday was the elimination round, today's the semis and tomorrow would be the finals.

She had to work fast tomorrow. She planned to invite him to the precinct tomorrow when he leaves the apartment. She did not want his children to see the police escorting their father for questioning, even though she was not even sure if they'd be at home tomorrow. She wanted to protect the children from possible trauma, because she believed that whatever their father did or did not do; it had nothing to do with them.

* * *

Mac was looking down from the plane window, his eyes scanning the whole area. _Somewhere in that piece of island, was Jo. I just hope she's safe._

Still looking out the window, he pulled out his necklace and thumbed the cross pendant, before pressing his lips against it.

_Wait for me, Jo._

_I'm on my way._

_Just a few hours more_

_I'll look for you_

_Just wait for me._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks to all of you who were reading my story. Enjoy Chapter 5. And don't forget to leave me some reviews/comments. Thanks again!**_

* * *

_**From Chapter 4**_

_Still looking out the window, he pulled out his necklace and thumbed the cross pendant, before pressing his lips against it._

_Wait for me, Jo._

_I'm on my way._

_Just a few hours more_

_I'll look for you_

_Just wait for me._

**Chapter 5**

_5:50_

Mac looked at his watch before getting in the cab. His plane landed ahead of schedule and he was glad for it because that meant he could start locating Jo a bit earlier.

When he got to the crime lab, he went directly to his office, not paying any attention to the stares of a few nighshift lab techs. He stowed his luggage beside a side table near the door, took off his coat, and sat on his chair. He looked at his pristine table, not used to seeing it that bare, except for the lone, thin folder placed right at the center. Michael Wilmer's file. He opened it and started reading, forehead all creased, his look a combination of stern concentration and worry.

* * *

Jo was already on her way to the crime lab. She tailed burly man back to the apartment, waited for a short while, and when he did not come out anymore, she went on her way.

She decided to grab a heavy breakfast first before she proceeds to the crime lab, the last meal that she had was yesterday afternoon's supposed to be lunch. She also knew that nobody would be at the crime lab this early, since it was only almost 6AM.

It was almost 7AM when she finished her breakfast. She got too engrossed in planning about what would happen tonight when they approach burly man, she lost track of time and now she was stuck in traffic. She knew that burly man won't go with them without putting up a fight, if Jonathan Wilmer was right about them. She saw what they could do with their bikes, and she knew that they should not approach him while inside the arena. She decided to do it when he was on his way to the arena. He was not supposed to arrive at the arena, at all. Otherwise, all hell might break loose.

* * *

Mac heard knuckles against glass pane. He looked up to see who was knocking on his door and disturbing him and was taken aback of what he saw. There they were, standing by his doorway; Sheldon, Adam, Lindsay, Danny, and Don, all of them ready to work, determination and concern on their faces, waiting for their tasks for the day, for this day.

"It's still very early, what are you guys doing here?" Mac asked his team, although he already knew what. They care for each other, they help each other, and they always come together whenever there was anything threatening their family. Yes, they are a family.

"We wanted to help. We'll find Jo." Adam was the first to speak. He was not comfortable with Jo when she first joined the lab. He was intimidated by her and somehow could not warm up to her, but over time, Jo proved to be a good boss, and co-worker. She's playful but brave, she's smart but humble, she's everything but all of those things that he first thought about her. And Adam couldn't imagine the crime lab without her now.

Mac gave them a small grateful smile, and nodded. They all went to position themselves around Mac to discuss the case, and to break down the details in hopes that somewhere in those reports, they would find where Jo might be. After their discussion, they left Mac alone in his office to come up with a plan while they go through some stuff, try to look for some hint.

Mac picked up the phone and dialed Jonathan Wilmer's number. When Lindsay mentioned that Jo and Jonathan Wilmer knew each other, Mac thought of calling and asking him if there was anything Jo might have asked him, or told him.

10 minutes after, Mac put down the phone, distress written all over his face. Jonathan told him about the night Jo went to his house. He told him about the poster, and the burly man. What appalled Mac the most though was when he told him about what happened that night he brought her to that place where the bikers group hangs out. _They were a very dangerous lot, Detective. I'm afraid Jo might be in danger if she went there again. I told her not to go there anymore. I was scared for her life. _Jonathan's words kept on echoing in Mac's mind. He pictured in his mind what could have had happened if she was found out. He shut his eyes, trying to push away all those cruel thoughts.

"Mac?" _that voice. That voice that makes everyday bearable. That voice that comforts every burdened soul._

"Mac? What are you doing here?"

Mac finally looked up. Jo was in front of his desk, her hair unbrushed, her makeup smudged on the edges, her shirt crumpled, her eyes had dark circles underneath them, bloodshot, but big with astonishment.

"Jo" was the only word he could utter in shock.

Jo frowned at him.

"What's happening, Mac? Why are you here? You're supposed to be in your honeymoon." _Did I only imagine his wedding?_

"Jo! Are you okay?" Mac finally forced out of his mouth, standing up. His eyes still couldn't believe what it was seeing. _Am I really looking at Jo or is this due to jetlag?_

"Yes. You hadn't answered me yet."

"I… we… we thought you're missing. Sinclair called me back here, said they couldn't find you and nobody knew where you were. And he wanted me to help with Wilmer's case. So I talked with Jonathan Wilmer and he told me about the bikers. I… I thought something happened to you." Mac rumbled on, trying to wrap his brain to the fact that Jo was alive, and she's now here with him.

Jo noticed him staring at her and felt the need to explain herself.

"I suppose you've already read the files?" Jo asked him sitting down.

Mac nodded, also sitting down.

Jo went to tell him everything that she had been doing for the past week. She could slowly make out the frown on his forehead while she was speaking. She thought he was only trying to piece the puzzle together, in his mind.

When Jo finished, she waited for Mac to say something.

Finally, "so, you had been tailing this dangerous man, all by yourself, all the way to the Bronx, hiding behind the trees, watching them," Mac's frown was now very evident, and his voice was now loud, very loud "follow the subject to his home, and even went as far as to knock on his door without knowing who might be there, or maybe he himself was there…" Jo cut him off at this point.

"His bike was not there when I knoc…" but Mac did not give her the chance to finish what she was saying.

"Even when you had already realized that you do not have your phone with you all this time, and without any back up," Mac was almost shouting now, "without even telling anyone where you were. All of these, even though Jonathan Wilmer had already warned you about these cold blooded daredevils?!" Mac's anger was very evident now.

Jo, who was already so tired after all those all-nighters, could not keep her own temper down either.

"What are you so angry about?" her own voice starting to rise now.

"You're actually asking me what I was angry about?!" Mac looked at her sternly.

"Well, I was just doing my job! I tried to locate the suspect nobody knew about. I already told you that during the first few nights, he did not go to the arena. How was I to tell anybody about him when we did not even have his name, not even a single clue except for his description? I went to Jonathan and one thing lead to another. I did nothing wrong Mac. Many times, I wanted to go in there and just ask him directly to come with me for questioning but I did not. I was thinking straight. And I was careful. He did not even felt that I was following him."

Mac stood up angrily.

"That's what you call being careful? You tailed a possible killer, all by yourself, Jo. He might be Michael's killer and I don't suppose he would treat you like a baby if he found out that you were tailing him."

"Please, Mac. I know that, you don't have to spell it out for me. I told you, I know what I was doing."

Mac was too angry to listen anymore.

"What is this? Surveillance? Maybe you forgot that you're not with the FBI anymore?!"

Jo stood up as well.

"Okay, this isn't going to solve anything. If I'd done anything that in your opinion was wrong, I'm sorry, okay. I've drafted a plan already; I'm going to call Flack."

Jo turned to leave Mac's office but stopped when she heard Mac's voice.

"You're out of the case." Mac said coldly, staring at the file on his table.

Jo turned to face him, brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm taking you out of this case." Mac said looking at her.

"Why?" Jo was confused.

"Jonathan Wilmer was your friend. Conflict of interest." Mac said sitting down.

Jo stared at him in shock.

"What are you talking about? You… you couldn't do that."

"On the contrary, I could. Stay out of this case, Jo."

"Mac, why are you doing this? I did nothing wrong. I was just trying to find out who the man the… Alex… Forde was talking about, so that we could invite him in for questioning… I… found him…" Jo was confused but feeling hopeless. She did not want to 'stay out of this case'. And most importantly, she knew that Mac was deliberately doing this to her.

"Yeah, about that, I'm also placing you on suspension." Mac said looking at her bewildered look.

"WHAT?" Jo couldn't believe her ears.

"Are you out of your mind? Why are you suspending me? What did I violate? I did not violate any protocol, Mac." Jo was getting angrier by the minute at the ridiculousness of her situation, her voice now a few octaves higher.

"I think I've just enumerated your violations. Add to that your not following orders. My orders."

Jo was trembling with anger now.

"Why are you doing this to me, Mac?"

Mac raised his eyebrow at her.

"Questioning your supervisor, Detective Danville?"

_Detective Danville. I never heard him call me that. It was always Jo. What's happening?_

"Okay, Mac, I ruined your honeymoon, I'm sorry about that. I'm really sorry. But, I want to be a part of this. Please." Jo was pleading now.

"Your suspension's effective immediately. You may go." Mac said a little too harshly and saw the flash of pain that crossed her features but he thought it was because of her suspension.

Jo angrily stormed out of his office and went into her office.

By this time, the whole team already knew what had transpired between their two bosses, as they heard the shouts through the open office door.

Lindsay was the first one to approach Jo.

"Jo?"

Jo looked up at her and offered her a small smile.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh Lindsay, I knew everybody heard it, the whole lab just got too quiet all of a sudden." Jo paused then shook her head. "No, I'm not okay. I want to be part of this case."

"I understand."

Jo sensed Lindsay's hesitation.

"What is it?" Jo asked softly.

"Jo… I'm… I'm sorry. When you called me yesterday morning, I did not hear it when you told me where you were. Lucy was throwing tantrums… and…" Lindsay was frantic now "I did not hear you and I did not ask anymore. I should have asked you again…"

Jo hushed her.

"Don't worry about that. I heard Lucy wailing as well. It's no big deal really."

"I'm sorry, Jo. If I had asked you about your location, none of these would have happened."

"Its okay, Linds. Don't worry about it. Now, listen to me. I know where to find the man Alex Forde was talking about. I have a plan."

Jo proceeded to tell Lindsay how she planned on having the suspect come with them in the precinct and Lindsay listened carefully. Both of them knew though that everything would still be subject to Mac's approval.

* * *

Jo was sitting on her desk while the whole team, except for her, was inside the conference room planning for the operation they were going to execute later tonight. She was fuming over the fact that Mac was making a big deal out of what she did, and for taking her out of the case and most especially, for suspending her.

She never thought that she could be angry at Mac, ever. Turned out, she could.

She wanted to get out of there but she also wanted to wait until they questioned the suspect. With nothing to do, she turned on her computer and looked at some old files, desperately trying to look for something to do.

* * *

Jo watched as their team prepare for whatever that they planned to do tonight. She glared at Mac when he went out of his office and walked towards the elevator. She knew he couldn't see her, but she still glared at him. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the idea that she was on suspension, and she was taken out of the case. But what pained her most was the anger that she saw in Mac's eyes, anger towards her. She was angry at him too, at first, but now she's more hurt than angry. She was not some woman who needed help and assistance constantly. She could take care of herself. She was an FBI agent, for goodness sake!

Just then, her computer beeped. She turned her head around to her computer, as Mac and the rest of the team entered the elevator.

_You've got __**1 **__message_

Jo clicked on the flashing notification and saw that it was from Agent Cade Conover.

_Hey! No crime to solve today?_

_**Hey you too! Got taken out of the case, and suspended as well**_

_Why?_

_**Long story**_

_Video call?_

Jo turned on her webcam and accepted Cade's request.

"Hey beautiful" Cade greeted her with a smile.

Jo smirked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's how you respond to my greeting?" Cade teased her.

"I know how I look Cade. I haven't been home for the past 60 hours or so. I'm far from pretty."

It was Cade's turn to smirk now.

"I could never have guessed. So, what happened, why were you suspended?"

"Oh, I don't know, Mac thought I breached some protocol" Jo said feeling the irritation rise up again.

"Well, did you?"

Jo stared at him wide-eyed.

"Of course not! Why would I do that? I'm a professional CSI; I would never do that…" Jo trailed off when she remembered that time when Christine was kidnapped, and how far Mac was willing to go just to save her.

"Jo?" Cade noticed the hesitation.

"I hope I wouldn't have to do that." Jo finished in all honesty.

Cade stared at her, through the webcam, and he noticed the pain and uneasiness Jo was emanating.

"Jo, how long was the suspension?"

"Two whole damn weeks. Just got the memo this afternoon." She huffed. Jo's irritation was very visible now.

"Two weeks? Long enough, I think. But if it could be longer, it would be better."

Jo frowned at the man she was speaking with.

"You want him to suspend me for more than 2 weeks? Are you kidding me?"

"Whoa! Don't be mad at me. Listen to me first."

When Jo did not say anything, he continued.

"I have a proposal. The weather's perfect right now here in California. I mean remember the last time we talked? Would you want to have that tan now?" Cade smiled at the memory of their last video call.

Jo thought for a moment. She knew this was a gamble. If she took him up for his offer, something more than getting tanned would happen to her.

Her mind was working over time now. She wouldn't want to sit in her apartment and simmer in anger. She couldn't come here also, first because she was suspended, and most importantly, she was not even sure if she wanted to see Mac after everything that had transpired this morning.

"How about Ellie?" Cade asked when he remembered that embarrassing encounter he had with Ellie when they went back to her apartment after having dinner.

Jo frowned and thought hard.

"I know school would only be until this week."

"You're free then. Bring Ellie with you, maybe she'd like to experience California beach too. Come on, get out of there and enjoy the feeling of the sun hitting your body only to be cooled off by sea water." Cade pushed a little, trying to convince Jo subtly. He did not want to make a hard sell because knowing Jo, she would only resist the more you try to convince her of anything. The woman hated being told what and what not to do, and based on his understanding, that's one of the reasons why she and Russ got divorced.

Something Cade said a few minutes ago caught Jo's attention.

"You said it would be better if my suspension could be longer, why?"

"Oh, nothing. It was just because three weeks from now, they would put up a fair somewhere near the beach, the old fashioned kind. You know, rides, games, cotton candies… just thought it might be fun." Cade saw the smile slowly creeping up Jo's face.

"I missed those!" Jo exclaimed.

"But you only got 2 weeks, by the time the first kiosk was set up, you're already gone. But the beach won't go anywhere." Cade smiled widely at her.

"Actually, I haven't used my vacation leaves yet. Maybe I could think of something to lengthen our stay." Jo smiled at him, her mind already swarmed by memories of her childhood, when their father would take her and Leanne to fairs and they would ride almost every attraction there were, except for the roller coaster, because their father won't let them.

"So, it's a yes then?" Cade's eyes were twinkling now.

"Umm… I'll talk to Ellie first. I'll inform you as soon as I can."

"Sure. I'll be waiting."

* * *

Don and Mac were waiting in the car for the suspect to come their way.

Mac had decided to follow Jo's plan and they were now waiting somewhere near the subject's house. Police backups were all positioned strategically, and a check point was put in place. Their plan is to make the subject stop at the check point, and invite him to the precinct for questioning. Jo was right; they should not let him go near the arena, otherwise there might be a bloodbath.

Mac thought of his conversation with Jo this morning. He did not mean to be so harsh at her. He knew she did not breach protocol, or, maybe just a little, nothing he could not turn a blind eye to. But what she did was still wrong. He was worried to death, thinking that if only he could fly, he would fly back to New York, right after Sinclair hang up.

Jo's image when he told her about taking her out of the case, and the suspension; she looked like she was slapped hard across her face. He did not want to admit that time, but he just got carried away with the worry and fear he was subjected to when he learnt of what Sinclair thought happened to her. He thought of Christine when she was kidnapped a few months back. He did not want to feel the way he had that time, again. He wouldn't know what to do if Jo got kidnapped or worse, with these cold blooded monsters, Jo might even be killed. And how was he supposed to live with that?

A rumbling sound silenced Mac's thoughts. He saw the suspect hesitate when he saw the check point. A while later, he turned his motorbike the other way and attempted to go back but was stopped by the police patrol car behind him. Mac and Don got out of the car and went to approach the subject.

They were only a few steps away from him when he suddenly veered his motorbike away from them and towards the squad car ready to go up its roof and escape. When his motorbike thudded at the ground, Mac heard his tires squeak against the asphalt but suddenly stopped. Danny blocked his way with the Avalanche and two more squad cars surrounded him, giving him no other way to go.

When Don went near him, he saw the bulge on his waist and he immediately grabbed it, taking his gun away from him.

* * *

At the precinct, Don gave the gun to Danny and also a pocket utility knife from the inside pocket of his jacket. He then led burly man to the interrogation room. When Mac entered the observation room, he saw Jo already inside intending to watch through the whole interrogation process.

Mac opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

It was Jo's voice that filled the room.

"Don't worry, I just wanted to listen, know if he was the one who did it and why."

Mac got taken aback by the coldness of her voice. She had never talked to him in that tone, ever. He walked near her and his mind debated on what to do or say to ease the tension a bit, but in the end, he did nothing. He just stood beside her, uneasy, and waited for Don to start the interrogation.

Upstairs, Danny gave the utility knife to Lindsay to check for DNA. Lindsay swabbed at the part where the blade and the handle connected and found blood. Danny ran the blood sample against Michael Wilmer's DNA. A short while later, he printed out the result and sprinted to the elevator to bring Mac the result: Positive Match.

When Don showed the suspect, William Torch, the DNA result, he finally confessed to killing Michael. According to him, his little brother, Jason Torch was a car racer. He had always been fascinated with cars since he was a little child, and while William tried to convince him of the thrill of riding motorbikes, he was adamant to his choice. So William let him. Jason worked very hard, night and day in hope of someday, he'd be able to buy his own stock car. William loved his brother very much, as there were only the two of them when their parents died in an accident when they were still teenagers. One day, William came home with a stash of cash. Their gang robbed a small antique shop, and a jewelry shop in Louisiana, and they split up the cash. He knew Jason had kept some money aside for his stock car, but it would take a long time still, before he would be able to purchase one. William gave most of his share to Jason and told him to use the money to buy the car that he wanted.

"I would never forget his face that night for the rest of my life. It was lit up as if a child's. And I thought that was the best decision I had ever made in my entire life."

A few more weeks after, Jason came home driving his new stock car. The car though was not new. Jason had bought it from someone who wanted to ditch it already before he went somewhere else. Jason was so excited to be able to finally own a stock car and he used the rest of the money to overhaul it a bit.

A year later, they moved to New York. Jason wanted to join the group of car racers in their neighborhood but they did not want some stranger from another place to join their group. For the longest time, he tried to join them and two more other groups but was never given the chance. Then one day, Jason was waiting tables at one of the pubs in New York when Michael Wilmer and a few friends went in. He overheard their conversation and realized that they were car racers. From the distance, he looked and observed their actions and speeches. He then thought that to be able to join their group, he would have to pretend. Pretend that he was rich. Pretend that he was one of them. True enough, Michael's group let him join them after some time. He was careful not to be caught of his true status and they never found out about it.

It was a good weather for racing then. But there was no scheduled race that day. Looking for some entertainment, the group raced with each other. The problem is their race included bets. Jason did not have any money to be placed as bet. To avoid being caught, he bet his car, boasting that he could just buy a new one if he lost. He was pretty sure he could out race them all. But he lost. Michael got his car and Jason got depressed. It was his dream. It was his life. When William learned about the bet, he tried to convince Jason to let him talk to Michael, but he won't. He did not want them to know that he was pretending the whole time. So William played another role. He followed Michael around and found out where his brother's car was. When he found the chance, he approached Michael, and gave compliments of the car, Jason's car. When Michael told him that he won it from a bet, he tried to buy it from him, even asked him to name his price. But Michael won't have any of it. He said it was the first car he had owned without having to spend any single centavo. For the next few weeks, he kept on pestering Michael about the car but he won't sell it to him. When William last came to Wilm Speeds, he saw how different the car was; only the backseat and the passenger's seat remained. There was no trace of it being old, no trace of its original components, no trace of Jason.

The day after, William followed Michael when he went to the arena. He circled the arena until he found the backdoor of a tire shop behind the arena's office. Near the backdoor were a number of stacked old tires. He used the tires to climb up to the fire escape of the shop. From the railing of the fire escape, he tried to grasp at the wall of the arena's office directly opposite him. From the office roof, he walked his way to the arena itself. He waited until Michael had already made a whole round before waiting for him in the middle of the track, the farthest point from where the office was located, making him stop.

When Michael stopped the car, he went in at the passenger's side. Michael asked him to get out but he pulled out his utility knife and pointed it to him before demanding him to drive around. While driving, Michael asked him to stow away his knife and that he would just give him the car if that's what he wanted. But William did not want the car anymore. It was too different now. Then Michael offered him money instead. He said he never made mistakes as such, but he did not realize that he had his wallet with him and only found out when he was already at the race track, so he did not bother to keep it in the locker anymore. He asked William to reach behind him in the passenger seat where he had tossed it. William reached in and found the wallet but was not interested with the money. He looked at the Michael's IDs in his wallet. He ripped everything that he could before tossing the wallet at the backseat.

"I wanted to erase him too. I wanted to erase his identity. Just like what he did to my brother. He stripped him off of his life, his identity, his childhood, his dream."

Michael then tried to catch the attention of the store owner, which William noticed so he grabbed on the steering wheel. Michael did not let go of it, though until it smashed into the wall. But even before the car hit the wall, both men had managed to jump out. Alarmed by the sound the crash had created, he stabbed Michael twice before going near the car. He put out from his jacket pocket a flask that contained gasoline and doused the interior of the car before he lit a match and dropped it inside. The car immediately blazed and he ran off to the opposite side of the arena. When the shop owner finally came out of his office to attend to what at first he thought was an accident, William took that opportunity to walk out of the arena through the office, and then the front door.

When William was already writing his confession, Mac felt Jo move beside him. Just as he turned his head to her direction, he saw her back as she slowly walked to the door and left him alone in the room. Mac looked at her until he could not see her anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you so much to all of you for reading, favorite-ing, following, and writing reviews. It mean so much to me. I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy! :)**_

_**P.S. to my 2/15 guest reviewer, no worries about the spelling. I appreciate your review. thank you. :)**_

* * *

_**From Chapter 5**_

_When William was already writing his confession, Mac felt Jo move beside him. Just as he turned his head to her direction, he saw her back as she slowly walked to the door and left him alone in the room. Mac looked at her until he could not see her anymore._

**Chapter 6**

When Jo left the precinct, she went back to the crime lab to get her things. She went directly to the Wilmers to tell them about William Torch's arrest. When Jo parked her car outside the apartment building, her feet felt heavy. Just a few nights ago, she was there to try and find out if Jonathan could tell her something that could help with Michael's case. Tonight, she was there to tell Michael's family that the killer was finally arrested, but it did not make it any easier for her. Justice was served, yes; but it still did not change the fact that her friend, Jonathan Wilmer would never see his son again.

It was already 10:20PM when she left the Wilmers'. When she got home, she put down her big cross-body bag on the couch and silently opened the door to Ellie's room. Ellie was already fast asleep, her back to the door. Jo tiptoed her way across the room and sat gently on Ellie's bed. She gazed at her daughter lovingly, who was still a child sometimes but definitely not anymore. Sometimes, Jo felt that she was growing up too fast that she could hardly keep up. She touched Ellie's hair lightly, careful not to wake her up, before kissing her forehead. She's thankful that tonight, after the horrendous event that shook her friend's family, she could come home and see her daughter sleeping peacefully and safe.

* * *

"Aren't you gonna go to work today?" Ellie asked her mother when she saw Jo cleaning the kitchen counter as if she had all the time in the world.

"No, I'm not. At least for the next two weeks, I'm not going to work." Jo answered Ellie, thankful that she brought up the topic.

"Why?" Ellie asked with a frown. She finds it weird that her mother was not going to work for two weeks, and she was not making any fuss about it.

"Were you sacked, Mom?" Ellie suddenly realized the possibility, but could not come up with any reason why.

"Of course not! I was just…" Jo hesitated, "suspended. For two weeks." She continued with a shrug.

Ellie's eyes widened at her mother's words.

"What? Why? What did you do?"

Jo turned around to face Ellie, her eyebrows raised.

"I did not do anything. It's just Mac thought I did. But it was nothing, really."

"Well, what did Mac thought you did? And, was he here? I thought he's on his honeymoon?"

Jo told Ellie a brief summary of what had happened the whole week and what Mac told her. When she finished, Ellie was baffled. Then,

"Why was he being a jerk?"

"Ellie! Watch your mouth. He was just doing his job, but this time, I think it got a little too far. Especially the two-week suspension."

"So what, you're just going to stay home for the next two weeks?"

Jo sat across where Ellie was standing, the kitchen island separating the two of them. She was trying to gauge if this was the perfect moment to ask Ellie about her plans.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. Though I'm not sure if you'd like the idea. It was just a crazy idea that I…" Jo looked at Ellie, trying to read her facial expression, but found nothing. "Well, I just thought that since school would soon be over, in fact I think you told me it would just be until tomorrow…"

"Mom, stop beating around the bush, just say whatever it is that you want to say." Ellie said impatiently.

"Okay, well, Cade offered for us to go to California…" Jo began but hesitated when she saw Ellie's astonished face.

"You're together now?" Ellie said after a while.

Jo immediately shook her head. "No. No we're not together. Just, remember the last time he was here?" Jo suddenly stopped when she remembered the last time Cade was _here_.

Ellie could see her mother blush and guessed that Jo was also thinking of that night Cade was at their home. She let out a chuckle but did not manage to hold it in anymore, and the chuckle turned into laughter.

Jo's flushed face got more crimson. "Ellie!" Jo exclaimed, feeling her own laughter rise in spite of her embarrassment.

"Okay, okay. Yeah, I remember the last time Cade was _here_, pretty well." Ellie finally managed to say mid-laughter.

Jo glowered at her before continuing, "Well, he offered that time for us to go to California but I declined. And I think now is the chance to take him up for his offer. He said the weather there is perfect right now, and there would be an amusement fair put up two weeks from now." Jo stopped laughing herself, and tried to focus on the topic at hand.

"But I thought you said it was a two-week suspension? There wouldn't be time for the fair."

"I thought maybe I could use all those vacation leaves I haven't used yet. All in all, I had managed to accumulate two weeks of unused leaves from the past two years, then I also have a week for this year. So, if you want, and if it would be approved, we could get a total of five-week California vacation. Unless, you wanted to spend it somewhere else, then we could do that, also." Jo finished with a reluctant smile.

Ellie appeared to be thinking hard. Jo knew she was considering about something and she was debating herself whether she should voice out her concern to her mother or not. Jo waited patiently, knowing that Ellie would sooner or later tell her whatever it is that was bothering her, as she knew that Ellie was very seldom shy to voice out anything at all. She did not want to push Ellie because she wanted her to decide on her own without feeling any pressure from her.

"Do we have to spend five whole weeks there?" Ellie finally spoke up.

"Nope. Only if you want to. Otherwise, we could split the five weeks between California and somewhere else, or it could also be only two to three weeks, then you're off to go on your own if you've already made plans with your friends." Jo answered, still patient, aware that Ellie would soon tell her the reason behind her question.

Ellie shook her head at Jo. "No, I haven't made any plans yet. I just… well… if we did not like it there, we could go home, right? We do not have to stay?"

"Of course, we could always come back home if we did not like it there."

"Okay then, California it is." Ellie said with a smile.

* * *

Jo drove Ellie to school that morning before she proceeds to Sinclair's office. She still could not get over the suspension and although she was not mad anymore, she was still hurt, and she felt like everything that had happened pushed her into the corner and she was left with nothing. Jonathan Wilmer asked her to accompany their family that morning to Sinclair to personally thank him for the swift handling of Michael's case. He wanted to thank Mac personally also but she declined to go with them anymore claiming that she had an appointment somewhere. She did not want to talk nor see Mac, and Jonathan's asking her to accompany them to Sinclair was just perfect for what she had planned.

When the Wilmers left Sinclair's office for the crime lab, she asked to be left behind, wanting to talk to Sinclair about something. She asked for Sinclair's permission to go on leave for three weeks, on top of the two-week suspension. Sinclair did not want to decide on the matter at first, telling her to talk to Mac instead as he's her supervisor. But Jo had already anticipated for Sinclair to tell her that and told him that technically, Mac was still on leave for his honeymoon and she wanted the papers to be clean, that is why she's asking him directly. Seeing as she won't stop bugging him, and that she was right technically, add to that all of her effort in finding William Torch that led to his arrest which in effect averted the media away as the case was solved, he agreed. He also agreed to ask someone to forward the memo to Mac after signing it so that Jo won't have to go back later for that, much to Jo's relief.

* * *

Mac felt awful that morning. He tried calling Christine but she won't answer. The night before, he managed to get hold of her but after two minutes in their conversation, Christine already made the excuse of having to go to sleep so they hang up. This morning, he called her a few times but she did not answer, only to send him a message later on telling him that she was inside a museum and talking on the phone was not allowed inside. She was annoyed at him for coming back to New York, and he knew it. But what could he really do when Sinclair told him to go back? He could not really say no to his boss, could he?

The fact is, the reason why Sinclair called him back, which was Wilmer's case was already solved. And he also believed that if he would tell Sinclair that he wanted to go back to Maui, he would be allowed also. Only, now that Jo was on suspension, nobody would lead the lab so he had to move Jo's suspension to when he comes back. He pondered on it for a while but decided not to do it. He was not enjoying the honeymoon, anyway. This is where he was the happiest. This is the thing that he does best. When Mac realized what kind of thoughts had just crossed his mind, he scowled at himself. _I'm a horrible husband._

* * *

The next day, Jo was busy packing their things for their California trip. They'd fly out this afternoon when Ellie gets home from school. She had already called up Cade yesterday and told him that they were going, and asked him to help with the accommodations as she did not have any idea of his plans for them. Cade was just too happy to assist and got them a hotel a few minutes' drive away from the Santa Monica Pier. Their tentative plan is to stay at Santa Monica for the first two weeks then go to Orange County on the third week.

* * *

It was already almost 6PM when Mac got back from a crime scene and went directly to his office. He saw the file folders starting to accumulate on his desk and sighed heavily. He tackled the folder on top of the whole pile first. It was a requisition form that needed his signature before it would be processed. He reviewed the form first before affixing his signature above the dotted line and placed it on the OUT tray. He frowned when he saw the next folder. It was from Sinclair's office. He opened the folder, his mind already going through a hundred and one stuff, already trying to guess what it might contain. It was very seldom for him to receive anything from Sinclair. The first thing that he read was LEAVE OF ABSENCE bold-typed in the middle, just under the letterhead. The next thing that he read was the filled up name of the employee. JOSEPHINE DANVILLE. Mac's eyebrows almost merged together now. He searched for the absence duration and his hand immediately reached for the phone on his left side when he saw 3 WEEKS typed above the line.

Mac called Sinclair's office and talked with his secretary.

"There was a mistake. Jo Danville was not on leave. She's on suspension and only for two weeks, not three."

"I'm sorry Detective, but it was what the Chief told me to type on the form. He checked it first before he signed. Actually, Detective Danville came by this morning and talked to Chief Sinclair. Maybe it was then that she told him about the LOA?"

"Can you transfer my call to him please?"

"One moment, Detective"

After a short pause, Sinclair's voice came through the phone.

"Mac, Janey told me about your concern. There was no mistake. Jo came here this morning and personally asked for my permission. I told her she can avail of her unused LOAs, on top of her two-week suspension."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"That's what I told her too, but she was right when she said that technically, you're still on leave. So I gave her my permission."

Mac was dumbfounded. _It was already a mistake when I put her on suspension, and now she's on leave. She would not be here for five whole weeks!_

"Okay, I got it." Mac said before hanging up.

Mac stared at the form for a long time, half-hoping that his stare would change the name on the paper. He was certain now that Jo was mad at him. He really should not have done that to her. She went to Sinclair not only because she thought that he was still on leave, therefore should not be the one to approve her papers. The fact that he's here at the crime lab, working on cases, meant that he's on duty and won't ever be considered on leave. _She didn't want to talk to me._

Yesterday night's event flashed in his mind; her words and tone when she told him that she was there only to listen to the interrogation, her back when she left him in the observation room without even uttering a single word. Mac shook his head grimly. Five weeks was too long a wait for his apology so he took his phone out from his pocket and dialed her number. He dialed it again when he reached her voicemail, and again when voicemail got his call the second time around. When he heard Jo's cheerful voice asking him to leave a message yet again, he ended the call without leaving any message and scrolled through his phonebook to look for her home number. The same cheery tone greeted him and he sighed heavily.

"Jo, it's me. I… uh… got the LOA form… uh… I need to talk to you… I've been trying to reach you on your mobile…" Mac paused a little, waiting and hoping that Jo would pick up the phone. When it was clear to him that she won't, he continued "please call me when you get this… uh… yeah… okay."

* * *

It was already past 7 in the evening when Jo and Ellie finally arrived at LAX and Cade was already there waiting for them by the time they exited the airport. It took them only a little more than 15 minutes from LAX to Santa Monica, and another 10 minutes to get them settled in their hotel room. By the time they sat down for dinner, it was already 8PM. They split an order of Shrimper's Net Catch and Caesar Salad among the three of them and ended the meal with Choco Chip Cookie Sundae at Bubba Gump.

After dinner, Ellie wanted to take a look around. Jo let her go alone, while she and Cade took a short leisurely walk around the pier. When they found a bench facing the beach, they sat down and rest for a while. Jo deactivated the flight mode of her mobile phone and saw her voicemail icon flashing. She played the voicemail but not one message was left. She then played the forwarded voicemail messages from her home telephone. When she heard the message left by Mac, she figured that the calls on her mobile with no messages left were from him. She frowned at what he could need to talk to her about. _Could it be about the LOA? Is he going to shorten it?_

Cade was watching her this whole time since she pulled out her mobile from her jacket pocket.

"Any problem, Jo?"

Jo looked up at Cade who was sitting beside her. "I hope not. Mac had been trying to reach me. I have no idea why." Cade saw the crease on her forehead and smoothed it down with his palm.

"Why don't you call him, then? Maybe it was nothing important. You said you did not tell him about the additional three-week off, right?"

Jo let out a sigh before nodding at him. She stood up and walked away a little from Cade. She leaned on the rail of the pier, and was about to dial Mac's number when she thought of the time difference. She sent him a text message instead.

'_Mac, was not able to check my voicemail earlier. Still up?'_

A minute after she sent the text, her phone rang. It was Mac.

"Jo, I have been trying to reach you. Are you okay?" Mac's voice sounded a little worried, though she did not understand why.

"Yeah! I'm fine. I'm here at California and my phone's on flight mode when you called so I was not able to answer it."

"California?" Mac repeated, doubting if he heard her right.

"Yup. Santa Monica." Jo confirmed.

"What… what are you doing there?" Mac was curious. She had no family in Los Angeles as far as he knows.

"Uhh… Do you remember Agent Cade Conover? The FBI agent that…" Mac did not let her finish,

"Yeah. I remember him." Jo was taken aback by the harshness of his tone.

"Well he invited us over to California, so here we are."

"We?" Mac prodded.

"Yeah, we. Ellie's here with me." Jo said, wondering why Mac had to know every little detail of this vacation.

"That the reason for the extension?" Mac sounded annoyed but Jo ignored his tone. The last thing that she wanted is to have an argument with her boss during her vacation.

"Yeah. We're going to Orange County from here, and God knows where we're going next." Jo said with a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

Mac did not say anything and Jo thought she lost him already.

"So Agent Cade will be with you and Ellie this whole time?" Mac inquired again.

Jo let out a sigh, and though she tried to cover it up with another chuckle, Mac heard her loud and clear.

"Yes, Mac. Cade would be with us this whole time. He invited us here so he'd be our guide."

Mac opened his mouth to ask if they were staying at Cade's place, wherever his place was, but stopped himself. _It's none of your business, Mac._

"Mac?"

"Yeah?" Jo's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Why were you trying to reach me? Was there a problem?"

"No. There's no problem. I just wanted to… uh… know… why you extended your time off duty." He couldn't even bring himself to say the word 'suspension' because of the guilt it entailed.

"Oh, okay. Anything else, then?" Jo asked, eager to end the phone call and the awkwardness of it.

"Uhh…" Mac racked his brain for anything more to say, to prolong the conversation but came up with nothing. "No… that's all… Yeah. Nothing more, I guess." Mac added hesitantly.

Jo sensed the hesitation in his voice but did not say anything about it.

"Okay then. See you in five weeks." Jo added in an attempt to be courteous.

"Yeah, see you then. Goodnight, Jo."

"'night, Mac." She was about to hang up when she heard his voice,

"Enjoy California."

"Thanks"

"Uhh…" Mac attempted again,

"What is it, Mac?"

"Uhhh… nothing. Take care. Goodnight." Mac said rather hastily, shaking his head at the lame attempt.

Jo found the conversation getting weirder by the minute. "Thanks, g'night." she said, then hang up.

Jo returned to sit beside Cade, her frown still visible.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just that, Mac's being a little weird." Jo said to Cade, her mind trying to work out what could be wrong with Mac.

"I did not get you into more trouble with Mac, did I?"

"No. No, of course you did not." Jo looked around them before looking at him with a wide grin, "I already love it here. I can't wait to go around the pier tomorrow."

Cade saw the excitement in her twinkling eyes and laughed at the childlike expression she's wearing. Jo nudged him when she realized he was laughing at her.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"You're like a child on her first trip at the carnival." He let out another laughter earning another nudge from Jo.

Cade grinned at her and said, "It's cute"

Jo bit her bottom lip before she shook her head at him and grinned back foolishly.

It was already 11PM when Cade escorted Jo and Ellie to their hotel room, before going to his own room at the other end of the hall. Cade promised them a great day tomorrow at the pier, much to the excitement of the mother-daughter tandem.


	7. Chapter 7

_**From Chapter 6**_

"_You're like a child on her first trip at the carnival." He let out another laughter earning another nudge from Jo._

_Cade grinned at her and said, "It's cute"_

_Jo bit her bottom lip before she shook her head at him and grinned back foolishly._

_It was already 11PM when Cade escorted Jo and Ellie to their hotel room, before going to his own room at the other end of the hall. Cade promised them a great day tomorrow at the pier, much to the excitement of the mother-daughter tandem._

**Chapter 7**

_I should have done this first thing when I got back. _ Mac huffed as he asked for his own LOA to be retracted.

Danny saw his boss walking towards his office, looking a little _angry? What could he be angry about this early in the morning?_

"Hey Mac, what's up?" he called out to him when Mac ended his conversation with whoever on his mobile phone. Mac did not stop and just continued walking and entered his office. Danny followed him in his office and stopped in front of his desk.

"I retracted my LOA as I am here, very visibly, on duty." Mac stressed the last two words angrily. He sat down on his chair his brow knitted together.

Danny crossed his arms across his chest, not sure of what to say. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Jo filed her three-week leave on top of the two-week suspension I subjected her to, to Sinclair because she told him that technically, I was still on leave. I just got off the phone with HR to retract my LOA so that nobody else would consider me still on leave." Mac said slamming shut an opened folder in front of him.

Danny stood there, arms still crossed across his chest, trying so hard not to laugh at Mac's face.

When Mac did not hear any reaction from Danny, he looked up at him eyebrows still furrowed. When he saw the effort Danny was making in order to stop himself from laughing, he glared at him. Danny saw Mac glaring at him and that made him burst into laughter.

"What's funny? You find it amusing that she bypassed me and went directly to Sinclair?" Mac's eyebrows were raised now, and he's starting to get pissed by Danny's laughter.

Danny caught his breath before looking at Mac "I'm sorry man. No, I don't find it amusing but you gotta admit that's clever of her. She knew you too well, Mac. She knew you'd never let her go." Danny said with a smile.

Mac frowned at Danny's choice of words. _Never let her go?_

"Get outta here." Mac told Danny, anger already dissipated.

"Wait; do you know where she went?"

Mac looked at him questioningly "California, why?"

Danny nodded "Figures. She called Lindsay the other day asking where she could buy swimsuit and summer dress and stuff. I'm not sure if she's looking for a particular store or something." He shrugged his shoulders before shaking his head "Women"

_Swimsuit? And what stuff? _Mac tried to conjure an image of Jo in swimsuit but stopped. _I thought Cade would be there with her the whole duration of this vacation? And Ellie? _

"Earth to Mac!" Danny's voice shook him out of his thoughts. "Where'd you been?"

Mac shook his head at him "I just recalled something… uhh… you have nothing to do?" he's now back to his Boss mode.

"I'll go find something to do." Danny smirked at him before leaving his office.

* * *

Jo and Ellie met Cade at the lobby of the hotel. Ellie had wanted to learn how to surf so their first agenda for the day is the beach. Cade could only stare at Jo when she and Ellie walked up to him. Jo was wearing a round neck, knee-length, blue-green summer dress with dark brown piping at the hem that hugged her curves perfectly. Her perfectly manicured toe nails painted with Essie polish in _naked truth_ were accentuated by the rich brown and gold colors of her Grecian sandal.

Jo noticed Cade's hypnotized stare and blushed a little. She had already forgotten the feeling of being appreciated by a man, especially the flattering feeling of rendering a grown man speechless.

"Good morning to you, too" Jo greeted him with a smile.

Cade's cheek colored a little when he realized he had been staring at her since he saw her and Ellie.

"Good morning to you lovely ladies" Cade finally managed to say looking at Ellie first before letting his eyes rest at Jo again.

"'morning Agent Cade. Liked the dress?" Ellie said nodding at her mother "I picked it out for her." Ellie finished with a mischievous smile, glad that her choice of clothes for her mother made the impact she was aiming for.

Cade's cheeks felt hot. "Uh, yeah. It looked good on her." Cade smiled and glanced at Jo, to which Jo only replied with one of her stunning smiles.

* * *

When they arrived at the beach, Ellie ran towards the surfing shop that offers surf lessons. Cade and Jo walked their way to the surfing shop cum school, ignoring Ellie's impatient scowl. When they finally got near Ellie, Jo took out her credit card while Cade stood behind, looking at the surfboards and rash guards displayed all over the establishment. When the formalizations were finished and all waivers were signed, Ellie rushed out for her first surfing lesson, but not before shoving her own summer dress to her transparent beach bag and handing it to Jo.

"Ellie, be careful!" Jo exclaimed just as Ellie stepped out to the sand.

Cade and Jo watched Ellie for a while, with Jo taking snapshots of her daughter's first surfing lesson. After a while, Cade took Ellie's bag and the camera from Jo and took her pictures with it. Not satisfied with only taking her pictures, he stood beside her and extended his arm and took a couple of pictures with both of them on it. After having some fun with their mini photo op, they decided to take a walk at the beach, but never strayed too far from where Ellie was.

Jo and Cade were sitting on the large beach towel Jo had taken with her, when Ellie came over to them after her one-hour surfing lesson. Jo let out a squeal when Ellie, dripping wet, kissed her mother as a thank-you for the surfing lesson she had just enjoyed. Cade smiled at the sweetness of Jo's relationship with Ellie. Nobody could have guessed that Ellie was not Jo's, given the closeness they shared. And Cade admired Jo for that because she raised Ellie on her own, and she raised her very well as he had witnessed during the few times that he was with them.

"I wish Tyler's here with us." Ellie said taking a bottled water from her bag.

"Yeah, but you know your brother's already grown up now and he felt that it's corny to be spending time with his momma." Jo mocked a pained expression. She understood Tyler's situation and she had her time with him when he was still a child so she never makes much fuss whenever Tyler would decline her invitations. But vacations like these made her want to bug him until he agrees to go with them because these opportunities are difficult to come by, given her job.

"Let's go for a swim? The water's perfect." Ellie said to her mother, not giving her a chance to be sad about Tyler. Though she knew that Jo would not admit anything, she knew that Jo would want to spend some more time with Tyler, and she sometimes felt sad whenever he declined her invites. He's her only son after all.

"Go on, I'd stay here." Cade offered with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Jo asked Cade, not wanting to let him feel neglected.

"Yup! I'm sure. Go on!" Cade encouraged her.

Jo smiled at him before she stood up and pulled her dress over head to reveal a dark brown, draped, one-piece number underneath it. Cade's throat went dry when he saw Jo in her swimsuit. He tried to swallow but it proved difficult. He had already seen her almost naked in the dimness of her bedroom the day he went to New York, and she looked hot. But this, her slim body hugged by the snugness of her swimsuit, in broad daylight, this was sexy. He took a very deep breath and tried to avert his gaze away from her so as not to be rude, but his eyes had a mind of its own, gluing themselves to Jo's alluring image in front of him. He had only managed to blink when Jo dropped her dress on the beach towel and ran after Ellie towards the water.

Cade sat on the beach towel watching mother and daughter goof around. He remembered the camera beside Jo's bag and took some pictures of Jo and Ellie, smiles on their faces, happy to be spending time with each other. When both Jo and Ellie had had enough fun in the water, they went back to shore where Cade was sitting this whole time, towel in his hands.

"Thanks" Jo said taking the towel from his hand. Ellie did the same and sat down rummaging through her bag for sunscreen. Jo let the towel soak up the excess water from her body before pulling out a white caftan cover up with blue and green beads embellishments on the neckline from her bag and put it on. She folded the summer dress she was wearing earlier and put it back to her bag. She then patted her hair with the towel and squeezed out excess water. Cade showed her the pictures he had taken of them and Jo's face lit up. She shared the pictures with Ellie and both of them giggled through it.

"Thanks for capturing those moments, Cade. It was sweet of you." Jo said turning to Cade.

"You're welcome. It was such fun looking at both of you enjoying each other's company; I thought it would be sad not to have a souvenir of it." Cade smiled at her, taking in the sight of a bare-faced Jo, looking fresh and with a healthy glow on her face.

They spent another hour on the shore just talking and people watching before Jo and Ellie changed back to the dresses they wore this morning and the three of them trooped to the Big Dean's Ocean Front Café for lunch. After lunch, Cade drove them back to the hotel to take a rest and to change for their amusement park activity in the afternoon.

* * *

Mac glanced at his watch. Christine should be on her way to Napa Valley now. He checked their schedule and made some calculations. He'd call her later in the afternoon, hoping that the change of scenery would finally make her want to talk to him already. He had been trying to get her to talk to him these past few days but she was stubborn. She would make up excuses and either rejects his calls or answers it and tells him she couldn't talk and would just text him when she could. He's miserable as both Jo and Christine were mad at him and he did not know what to do to make everything okay. He sighed heavily before going back to work.

* * *

It was already 2PM when Jo, Cade, and Ellie went back to the Santa Monica Pier. The first thing that they did was to put glimmer tattoo on their bodies, when they saw the booth. Jo had the cascading butterflies design and had it placed on the right side of her neck, the butterflies dancing down between her jaw and collar bone, in mostly blue, green, and brown glitters that brought out the color of her eyes more. Ellie chose the Chinese character for sexy, and had it placed on the upper left side of her back in red glitters. Cade did not want one at first but Jo could really be persistent so he finally agreed when Jo showed him the dragon design and had it placed on his inner wrist and colored only with blue and black glitters.

Satisfied with their body arts, they started going around the Pacific Park. When Ellie saw the High Striker, she immediately asked Cade to try which he agreed to but was not able to ring the bell on top. Next that they played was Wac-A-Mole where Ellie won a small plush kangaroo. When Jo saw the Water Race, she immediately challenged Cade for a game. Sadly for Jo, Cade won and received a plushy which he gave to Jo, and was rewarded with the childlike glee on Jo's face in return. Ellie saw the Photo Booth near the food carts and dragged her mother inside. When they saw the pictures, they giggled at themselves, pointing out the wackiness of one another.

It was almost 4PM when they saw how long the queue for the roller coaster was, seeing as it was weekend and schools were out. Jo wanted to try it so much that they ended up queuing for almost forty minutes. When it was finally their turn to board, Jo and Ellie sat together, while Cade sat behind Jo. When the speed started increasing, Jo and Ellie started shouting at the top of their lungs too; both gripping the safety rail, their knuckles white with too much pressure. By the time the ride had ended, both ladies' hands were shaking and both were pale, but both of them laughing and giggling like little school girls. They took a seat first and rest for a while, waiting for the adrenaline surge from the roller coaster ride to subside. When the clock struck 5PM, they decided to grab dinner and to come back for the Pacific Wheel later, before they end the night.

Jo opted for Pier Burger of course, and ordered their burger and fries. Ellie had the fish sandwich and Cade ate a hotdog sandwich. They finished dinner by 6:30 PM and paved their way to the Pacific Wheel. As expected, the queue was also long but they were already full and this would be their last ride for the night so they waited patiently in line, while taking in the beautiful, though crowded pier. Lucky for them when it was their turn, that the next in line was a family of five, and the next one after them was a group of six teenagers, making them enjoy their gondola all by themselves, not needing to share it yet. Jo was the first to sit and Ellie followed but sat across her mother, leaving the space beside Jo for Cade. When they started to rise higher, all of them were mesmerized by the breathtaking view of the ocean, the pier, and eventually, the whole of Santa Monica, when they were suspended on top of the Ferris Wheel. Ellie quickly took out the camera and took some pictures of the view around them, before asking Jo and Cade to sit a little bit more closely to each other for their picture. Jo then took the camera, and took Ellie's pictures, after which, Cade took photos of Jo and Ellie, arms over each other's shoulders, grinning widely at the camera.

When they finally reached the ground and were let out of the gondola, they walked back to Cade's car and drove back to the hotel.

* * *

_Shit! _ Mac swore inwardly when he noticed the time. He forgot to call Christine at the time he planned to call her. Now, it was already too late for him to call her anymore as he knew that Christine was an early-sleeper. He was still at the crime lab, juggling his and Jo's workload, trying to finish what he could tonight, before another batch of files make their way to his desk tomorrow.

Mac sighed heavily when he saw the still-high stack of files on his desk. _Mac Taylor, why did you suspend Jo again? Next time you suspend someone, think of all the workload that person was going to leave behind, first._ Mac rested his head on his hands and closed his eyes for a minute. He then continued to work until the wee hours of the morning, before he finally lay down on the couch and slept for only a couple of hours.

When Mac woke up in the morning, he checked his phone to see if Christine had tried to call or text him but found nothing. He wanted to call her but he was afraid it might be too early for her so he decided to call her later in the morning, instead. It was already almost noon when he called Christine and maybe because of the 'change of scenery', she talked to Mac for a change. She told Mac of the winery and the expanse of the vineyard she had visited. She had also signed up for a wine education session later in the day and Mac could hear the excitement in her voice, which in turn lessened the guilt he was feeling for leaving her there, alone, on their supposed honeymoon.

* * *

For the next few days, Jo, Cade, and Ellie went to the beach every morning for Ellie's surf lessons and to the Pacific Park in the afternoon for those rides and games that they haven't done yet, and to ride again those that they loved. The last ride Jo and Cade did was the Pacific Plunge. Cade could still feel Jo's death grip on his hand the whole ride through, and even when they had already got off it.

When they had already experienced all the rides and played all the games that they wanted, at least once, they ventured to other activities they could find like visiting museums, art galleries, and the Pier Aquarium. They had also experienced the Santa Monica nightlife and Jo and Cade had danced a lot of times together, blending in the crowd, comfortable whether it was a sweet, slow, sappy song or young, energetic, pop song that the DJ was playing. Some afternoons were spent together sipping Iced Teas or Coffees, sharing a cake or two, admiring the ocean view from the open-air terraces of Cafes that dotted the area.

* * *

It was on the last Thursday of their stay in Santa Monica when Cade asked Jo to join him in a dinner for two. Ellie did not mind at all as that meant she could do things she wanted to do without her mother constantly warning her and stopping her from doing things that were a little risky. But most importantly, she liked the way Cade makes her mother happy. She saw how miserable Jo was when Mac married Christine. She wanted her mother to be able to find a man, who would love her unconditionally, for whoever she was. And Cade was that man, right now. Things could still change between Jo and Cade, especially when this vacation was over, but right now she was already satisfied to see her mother happy with Cade.

Jo wore a midnight blue wrap-around dress that fell just above her knees, and she paired it with black pumps and a small black purse. She wore her hair in a loose bun that coiled by her nape, her glitter butterflies tattoo softening the dip of her low neckline.

Cade went to fetch her in their room a little earlier than he said he would and when she asked about it, he just told her that he wanted to show her something first before they go for dinner. When they reached Ocean Avenue, Cade scanned the area to park the car. After finally finding a slot, they parked the car and crossed the street towards the Ocean Front Walk. When they got to the park, Cade found a bench with an unobstructed view of the ocean.

"What are we doing here, Cade?" Jo asked him as he pulled out his handkerchief and laid it out to the bench for her to sit on.

"I wanted to show you something. We just have to wait for it for a little while, though."

"The suspense is killing me, you know that?" Jo asked him, smiling excitedly.

Cade let out a chuckle, "You're cute when you're excited. You look like a child."

Just then, as she was about to retort, a golden glow was cast on her face, making her turn towards its direction, Cade mimicking her action.

Cade smiled when he heard her gasp. He turned his head and saw her amazed expression bathed in the golden bask of Santa Monica sunset.

Jo was awed when little by little, the golden glow gave way to a burnt orange tint, before shading the sky in mauves, lavenders, and pinks, until the color of the sky eventually became purple as the sun set in the distance, leaving only soft orange rays at the bottom layer of the multitude of shades that had unfolded right before her very eyes. The LED lights of the Pacific Wheel were all lit up by this time, making it the focal point of the now-dark sky, the computer-generated lighting already starting its show.

Jo turned to face Cade who was sitting beside her all this time, alternating his looks from the beautiful sunset in the sky to Jo's awed expression.

"That was beautiful, Cade. I've never seen anything like it. Thank you." Jo smiled at him, making him smile at her too.

"I'm glad you liked it. I heard it was one of the best attractions here in Santa Monica."

"It is. It's breathtaking, to say the least."

"Mission accomplished then. Now, for dinner" Cade said standing up "shall we?" he offered his hand to Jo, which Jo took as she stood up as well.

* * *

After having their dinner, Cade asked Jo for a walk on the beach, which Jo accepted. When they got to the beach, Cade asked her to remove her pumps and took them from her before they started walking on the sand. There were a lot of people still at the beach even though it was already quite late for a swim, so they stayed near the bike path, away from all those people. It was a perfect evening, really. The sky was clear, the moon hanging bright above them, and it was neither too hot nor too cold to take a walk.

Jo's shoes were hanging loosely from Cade's left hand and his right was holding her left wrist. A moment later, he let go of her wrist and held her hand instead. When Cade felt Jo's fingers wrapping themselves around his, he looked at her and gave her a smile. Jo smiled back at him, her eyes dancing under the glow of the moon and the Pacific Wheel's a million and one lighting extravaganza.

Cade stopped walking and gazed at Jo, mesmerized by the way all the lights around them connived to make her eyes stand out, drawing him in, drowning him with its warmth. When he couldn't stand it anymore, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. He let her shoes drop to the sand and wrapped her up in his arms, his lips capturing hers, tasting the fruitiness of the red wine they had with dinner earlier, its flavors enhanced by the warmth of her mouth. He felt intoxicated, whether by the wine or her mouth on his, he was not sure. He could only be sure of one thing though, that he did not want to let go of the softness and warmness of her lips and mouth, for as long as he could. He had kissed her before in New York; again, that was hot, and this, this was sweet.

When Cade finally released her already-swollen lips, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close while Jo wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest. He pressed his lips against her hair before finally releasing her. Cade stooped down to retrieve Jo's shoes from the sand before they started walking again. This time, Jo's left arm was around Cade's waist, and his right arm was draped lightly on her shoulders, her shoes dangling from Cade's left hand.


	8. Chapter 8

_**From Chapter 7**_

_When Cade finally released her already-swollen lips, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close while Jo wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest. He pressed his lips against her hair before finally releasing her. Cade stooped down to retrieve Jo's shoes from the sand before they started walking again. This time, Jo's left arm was around Cade's waist, and his right arm was draped lightly on her shoulders, her shoes dangling from Cade's left hand._

**Chapter 8**

Cade was lying on his bed wide awake, his mind kept on churning out thoughts about and of Jo.

The dinner was special, the sunset was perfect, and the walk in the beach was something else. Their date was perfect, period. He was sure she enjoyed it too, if her smiles, and her sparkling eyes, were any indication of what she was feeling.

He walked her to their room when they got back from the beach, before returning to his own room, alone. He wanted so much to ask her to spend the night with him in his room but he stopped himself. Actually, given their history, meaning, what had happened in New York, he should not be intimidated by her anymore. And honestly, he was not intimidated at all. It's just that something inside him had changed.

Cade sighed before shifting his position on the bed.

When they were first dating, back when she was not yet with the CSIs, he had wanted her because she was beautiful, sexy, smart, and all those shallow reasons. These past few days that he spent with her and Ellie made him think twice about her, though. He thought of their first night in Santa Monica; her creased forehead that he smoothed down because he did not want her to worry about anything and to just enjoy her vacation, and her childish glee about the pier and its promised entertainment. Then the next day, he saw what kind of relationship she has with Ellie. He smiled when he thought of their closeness, their goofiness, and their giggles while they browse through the pictures he had taken of them. When he saw them having fun in the water, he wanted to capture those moments for them. He wanted them to see how happy they were with each other's company. When he saw the elation on their faces brought by the pictures he had taken, he knew he did the right thing of taking those.

Truth be told, during these past few days, he felt like he was part of a family, something he had not experienced ever. He had some women in his life, some serious, most not, but never was he part of a family. And that was what changed him. He realized he wanted to be a part of a family; he wanted to be a part of her family.

When he invited her that day to come to California, he only wanted to offer her a sanctuary, away from all that stress she was feeling. He saw through her even when they we're talking only through webcam. He saw how stressed she was, though he did not know that her stress was not just about work. He never knew about her feelings for Mac. After that first day at the beach, though, when he saw how she was with Ellie, it stirred something deep inside of him. He had decided that he wanted to see that happiness in her face every day, and he wanted to be part of the reason of that happiness. Thus, the date tonight. He had been wondering what he could do to make her feel special. He had been thinking of where to take her, and what to give her. But all of the things that he came up with did not feel right. He wanted something that would best embody her. Then he thought of the glee on her face when they were atop the Pacific Wheel, overseeing almost the whole of Santa Monica. That was when he decided to bring her to witness the enchanting sunset, and to be captivated by its fascinating transition. He thought she would enjoy nature's simplicity and charm. It was just like how she was; simple yet charming.

Cade never planned the walk, though. It was the spontaneous part of their date, most especially the kiss. Though he could barely keep his hands off her since the first day at the beach, he did not plan on kissing her that night. Ironic, given what they had already done in the past, but for once, he wanted to take it slow. He wanted to take it slow with her, to savor each and every step of the way to her heart.

When he saw Jo bare-faced that morning, in her curve flattering dress, and later on in her swimsuit, he was mesmerized. But when he saw her exceptional connection with Ellie, and the childish, pure, playful side of her that he seldom sees, Cade Conover fell in love with Jo Danville.

* * *

"How's dinner?" Ellie asked her mother when she saw her creeping her way around their hotel room.

"Ellie, you're going to kill me someday with your sneaking around me like that." Jo said, now walking purposefully to the lounge area of their room.

"I'm not sneaking around. I heard the door closed so I came out." Ellie said sitting down on the armchair.

"Why are you still awake?" Jo asked, glancing at her watch.

"Why are you not answering my question?" Ellie retorted, smirking.

Jo narrowed her eyes at her before sitting down herself at the armchair opposite Ellie.

"The dinner was great. But the sunset was… phenomenal." Jo said, her eyes twinkling again when she envisioned the breathtaking scene earlier tonight.

"Sunset?" Ellie asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Cade fetched me earlier than scheduled, then he brought me to the park near the Ocean Front Walk. He said there was something he wanted to show me only we have to wait for it. And it was so beautiful, Ellie. The color of the sky kept changing from golden yellow, to burnt orange, to mauve, lavender, pink, until it finally became purple. Oh, I'm not doing it any justice; I just can't put into words how breathtaking it was. It was just so beautiful. I could look at it every single day for the rest of my life." Jo narrated to Ellie, her eyes wide and distant as if she's still sitting on that bench, watching the magnificent view of the sky.

"It sounds so exquisite." Ellie said, staring at her mother.

"It is Ellie. I had never experienced anything like that." Jo smiled excitedly at her daughter.

Ellie nodded.

"And? What did you do after the sunset and the dinner?"

Jo's cheeks colored when she remembered the kiss.

"We went for a walk in the beach after dinner. It was such a pleasant evening; we weren't ready to come back yet." Jo said shrugging, already sensing that Ellie had more that she wanted to say.

Ellie nodded again and just stared at her mother.

"Ellie, what is it? Why are you staring at me like that?" Jo asked in her low, motherly tone.

Ellie took a deep breath.

"Mom, how do you feel about Cade?"

Jo frowned at her question, not sure what Ellie really meant. Then she suddenly remembered when Ellie asked her that day if they had to stay here for five whole weeks.

"Do you want to go back home now? Just tell me, I'll arrange our flights back immediately." Jo said instead, thinking that Ellie wanted to bail out and go home.

But to Jo's surprise, Ellie shook her head.

"No mom, don't worry about me. I'm happy here. I just want to know how you feel about Cade, that's all." Ellie paused before continuing, "I can see that you're happy around him. But I want to hear it from you. Are you… happy with him?" Ellie asked, her eyes big with curiosity and underlined with concern.

"Yes, baby. I'm happy with how our days were spent here, so far." Jo answered neutrally.

Ellie nodded at her mother. "How do you feel about him?"

Jo understood what Ellie was trying to ask her but she did not know how and what to answer. She liked Cade, otherwise, she would not go out with him in the first place, let alone come all the way here. But she thought of Mac. She was sure she loved Mac, and he was the main reason why she declined Cade's invitation the first time around after Mary Portico's case.

"Cade was different now, compared to the last time I saw him in New York. Something had changed, Ellie." Jo began, not knowing how to continue.

When Ellie saw her mother's hesitation, she tried to coax her.

"Was it for the better?"

Jo nodded her answer to Ellie, but she saw pain flashed through Jo's face.

"Which one do you like, then, the original version or the improved one?" Ellie asked playfully, wanting to lighten the mood when she sensed her uneasiness. _Mac._ She knew Jo was thinking of Mac, after all, her mother loved him so much.

Jo thought for a while before smiling at Ellie.

"The improved version."

Ellie let out a chuckle but did not say anything, waiting for her mother to elaborate on her answer and Jo did not fail her.

"The Cade that went to New York was rash and aggressive. Flirty if I may say. But the Cade that we're with now was sweet, and carefree, and warm… just like," Jo paused a while, searching for the best way to phrase it but when she couldn't find the right words, she just said, "a mug of hot cocoa, on a cold, winter morning."

Ellie chuckled at the way Jo summed up Cade.

"Do you know which of the many things that he did for us in this vacation that I appreciate the most?" Jo asked her daughter, who shook her head as an answer.

"The first day at the beach. When he took our pictures." Jo said smiling at the memory. When she saw the questioning look on Ellie's face, she explained it further to her.

"Most men would only watch us and probably admire the relationship that we have but Cade, he took our pictures because he wanted to capture that moment of unguarded bonding we shared. He saw the importance of it, Ellie. And I was touched by that act. He did not just watch us; he made an effort of capturing it for us. He recognized that magical moment and he put it into something tangible. And for now, it's enough for me." Jo knew that her relationship with Ellie had always been beautiful. Sure, it had been tried since the day she adopted her, but they still managed to have a relationship much better than some. She knew though that since Ellie was now at that point in her life where considering her mother her best friend was far from ideal, their relationship may soon change. But she knew that when things get ugly between them, those pictures that manifest their love for each other and their closeness would chase ugly things away, and bring them back to each other.

Ellie nodded at her mother. She understood what Jo was saying. She knew how tough her mother was but she also knew that they, her kids, were her weakness. She knew that her mother would walk away from a man she loves so much if she knew he would not be good for her and Tyler. Jo would turn her back at everybody and anybody if she knew they would not love her children as well.

Ellie stood up and walked over to where Jo was sitting and gave her a tight squeeze.

"I love you mom." Ellie almost whispered to her "I just want you to be happy."

"I love you too, baby. Thank you." Jo hugged her daughter back. "Now, go to sleep its already late in the evening."

When Ellie went to her room, Jo opened the door to her room as well. She went to prepare for bed and minutes later, she was fluffing her pillow ready to sleep.

* * *

Jo shifted again on her bed. She had been trying to sleep but could not.

Her talk with Ellie kept on playing in her mind. She thought of Cade and the change she thought happened to him.

When he showed her those pictures, she saw the look in his eyes, part of it hoping and part of it confident that she would love what he did. In every ride that they took at the amusement park, he never assumed his place beside her. It was always Ellie beside her and him behind them. She remembered the glitter tattoo that she pestered him to have. She saw the submission in his face while he waited for the artist to finish, but at the same time, she caught the amused look in his eyes that was directed at her. She felt her lips curl up into a smile automatically, when she remembered him taking her and Ellie's pictures while on the Pacific Wheel. He never forgot to include Ellie, and to let the two of them have all the fun while he stood back, letting them be.

What surprised her most was their dinner tonight. He was the perfect gentleman all throughout the night, starting from the handkerchief he had laid down on the bench for her. When the amazing show of nature started in the sky, she was beyond delighted. She thought that Cade knew her that much since he had figured out that expensive extravaganzas were not her thing. He went with the simple but romantic way that she truly appreciates. Cade had planned everything, and she appreciated all of it. It had been a long time since a man made her feel like that. He made her feel special. At her age and status, Cade still went out of his way to give her the best of everything that he could. It was like in high school again, when a boy gives you everything that he thought would please you, making you feel like a princess, offering you the sun and the moon, and everything in between.

Jo let out a satisfied sigh before sitting up.

At the beach, when Cade gazed deeply in her eyes, she saw the admiration he had for her. When Cade leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, she felt herself melt into him at the sweetness of his kiss. He was not rushing, and was taking his time in kissing her, making her feel every single movement of his lips, and every single beat of his heart. She felt like he poured his soul into that kiss, making her feel that it came straight from his heart. It was far from the kiss he gave her in New York. This kiss enveloped her from inside, out.

She also admired him for the control he had exercised so far since they came to California. When she saw the look on his face that first day at the hotel lobby, and again on the beach when she removed her dress, she thought she would have a hard time in staving his hands away from her. But he proved her wrong. All this time, she could see the fire in his eyes; but he did not take advantage of her, and of their situation. She thought it was because of Ellie being there with them the whole time, but he proved her wrong, yet again tonight. And if her perception would be relied upon, she thought Cade had never been more sincere than this.

She smiled at the image of them walking hand in hand, then later on, with their arms around each other, walking in the beach, not minding those people milling around. And without much talking, she still felt like they had shared the most intimate things about themselves to each other.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, it came crashing on her.

Jo felt a tug at her heart; the tug that was Mac.

Jo drew up her knees to her chest and hugged it. She remembered their last talk before she came here. He was so angry at her, and she was angry at him too. It was only later on that the anger dissipated, leaving her with just pain alone. That pain was what fueled her to scheme behind his back, and to be cold to him in the observation room. She did not talk to him that way because she was mad at him, but because she was hurt. And she needed to be cold and distant to him so she could defend herself, not leaving him any opening to be able to attack her.

_What happened to us, Mac? So much had changed between us, I don't even know sometimes if you were still the same person I met two years ago._

She thought of the last phone call they had. He sounded different over the phone, as if she was talking to someone else. She recalled the harshness of his tone at one point in their conversation and shuddered at the memory. She loved Mac very much. And she was happy for him, even though sitting there; watching him and Christine get married was like stabbing her own heart with a sharp knife. But too many things had been said and done between them. She now had no idea how to face him, let alone work with him, when she goes back to New York.

* * *

"Mac, don't tell me you're going to stay here again tonight? It's Sunday." Sheldon was about to leave the crime lab when he saw Mac still working. He had been sleeping at the crime lab again since he came back from his disrupted honeymoon.

Mac looked up when he heard Sheldon's voice.

"I don't have a choice" Mac shrugged before mentioning to the high stack of files on his table. "I have to finish these before Christine comes home tomorrow, because then I would have to go home earlier and these would never be able to leave my desk."

"Well, I'll go ahead then. I'm fetching Camille from an event at the Rockefeller." Sheldon left Mac's office and went on his way.

Mac leaned back on his chair, closing his eyes to let them rest for a while. He saw the image of Jo, mad at him one moment, and anguished the next. He opened his eyes. He could not bear to see that image of her. It was not anything like her, and he knew it was him, _again_, who caused her to feel that way. He looked at the calendar sitting atop his desk, and counted. He let out a deep sigh. _Three more weeks._


	9. Chapter 9

_**From Chapter 8**_

_Mac leaned back on his chair, closing his eyes to let them rest for a while. He saw the image of Jo, mad at him one moment, and anguished the next. He opened his eyes. He could not bear to see that image of her. It was not anything like her, and he knew it was him, again, who caused her to feel that way. He looked at the calendar sitting atop his desk, and counted. He let out a deep sigh. Three more weeks._

**Chapter 9**

It was already noon when Cade, Jo, and Ellie arrived in Dana Point. Their two-week stay in Santa Monica was great, but Cade promised the girls that their Dana Point experience would be much better. When they had already settled in their rooms, they went out to have their lunch, before going back to their hotel. Jo and Ellie were scheduled for a spa session to ready themselves for the next leg of their vacation. It was already around 4PM when they finished.

* * *

"Mac, you're leaving?" Lindsay just stepped out of the elevator when Mac rushed to stop the elevator doors from closing, and entered it.

"Yes, I'm going to fetch Christine from the airport. If you need me, call me on my mobile. I'm running late." Mac said rapidly, before pushing the close button.

* * *

Jo called Cade to ask if he would join them for dinner, but to her surprise, he declined her invitation. He said he had to talk to someone about some arrangements but would hopefully be done in time for a nightcap if she would want to.

"So it's a girls' night out tonight, then." Ellie said cheerfully to her mother when Jo told her about Cade's unavailability.

"I guess so." Jo said smiling, "Where do you want to go?"

Ellie thought for a while, "What do you say if we just grab some food at the joint down the road then stay here after dinner. I want to take a rest before whatever Cade had planned for us for the rest of this vacation."

"Sure. I'm intrigued of what Cade was planning too. He's not saying anything." Jo stood up to change.

"The man's full of surprises. Wonder what would be next." Ellie said, standing up too.

* * *

"Mac!" Christine exclaimed happily, hugging him before kissing him "I missed you"

"How's Napa?" Mac asked taking the trolley from her. Mac had managed to arrive at the airport ten minutes before her plane landed, much to his relief. He was scared that if he came late, it would cause another argument with Christine.

"Oh, it was beautiful. I took a lot of pictures. The vineyards were incredible; I wish you were with me. It was just so romantic there, with all those greeneries around me, villas, and cottages." Christine let out a little sigh, but continued on chattering about what she did and where she went while Mac drove, trying to dodge traffic whenever he can. Mac listened intently to his wife, satisfied that she had at least enjoyed her vacation even when he ruined it. He was just happy that she was not blaming him and was not fussing about him returning back to New York, leaving her there.

Mac stopped the car outside Piccolo. "I know I was a jerk for ruining our honeymoon and this is not enough to make it up to you, but…" Mac shrugged "have dinner with me?" he smiled at her.

Christine grinned at him widely, before reaching up to touch his face, "Of course, Mac" she then gave him a kiss on his lips "It's sweet of you".

* * *

It was almost 9:30PM when Jo received a text from Cade.

"_Jo, just got back. Didn't want to knock as you might be asleep already_."

"_Ellie and I are still watching movie. You can come by, if you want_."

A short while later, Cade knocked on their door. Jo stood up to open the door and let Cade in.

"Hey, were you able to do whatever it is that you needed to do?" Jo asked as she led him inside.

"Yup. Hi Ellie." Cade greeted Ellie when he saw her sitting on the couch.

"Hi Agent Cade. Have you eaten yet? We still have some barbecued ribs from dinner." Ellie offered him.

"I'm fine, I already had dinner. Thanks." Cade said, sitting down on one of the armchairs.

"I came by to ask if you have any plans for tomorrow, yet. Do you have some place you wanted to go to?"

Ellie looked at Jo, and Jo looked at Ellie, before both of them said "Nope!"

Cade chuckled at them. "Okay, good. I was planning to take you into the ocean tomorrow morning."

Jo cocked her head to the right, "Ocean? What are we going to do in the ocean?" she asked, confused look in her face.

Cade smiled broadly, "I just thought that you might want to do some whale watching"

Ellie's eyes widened at him. "Seriously? Oh my! Yes! Yes, I want to see whales!" Ellie exclaimed excitedly, quickly looking at Jo to see if she approves of the idea.

Jo laughed at Ellie's reaction, as if Cade had just said the magic word.

"Sure! It would be nice." Jo said grinning.

"Okay then. It's an open party whale watching, we leave the harbor at 8AM." Cade noticed Jo's face fell.

"Jo? What's wrong?" Cade asked frowning.

Ellie turned around to look at her mother before she burst out laughing.

"She had to get up early, something she was not used to, especially during a vacation." Ellie answered Cade's question, still laughing.

"Oh stop it, Ellie." Jo huffed, playfully. "I'll sacrifice a little, it's not like you see whales every day, right?" she finally said, smiling.

"So it's settled then, I'll come by at 7AM tomorrow morning, then I'll take you for breakfast then we proceed to the harbor." Cade said standing up.

"Okay, thank you Agent Cade." Ellie said, beaming at him.

Cade grinned back at her, glad that Ellie liked his idea. "You're welcome, Ellie. See you tomorrow, good night."

Jo walked him to the door. "Thanks Cade. See you in the morning." Jo smiled at him, while opening the door.

"Nah, that's nothing." Cade smiled back at her. "How was the spa?"

"It's good. I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated right now. That's why I agreed with the whale watching tomorrow, at very early in the morning." Jo chuckled, after rolling her eyes.

Cade laughed at what she said, and at the expression of her face. "You'll enjoy tomorrow. I'll make sure it will be worth waking early for. Now, go to sleep so you won't be grumpy tomorrow." Cade said tucking an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear.

"'Night Cade."

"Goodnight, Jo." Cade said before leaning in to give her a peck on her head.

* * *

"Mom! Mom, come on!"

"Moooom! We'll be late, come on, time to wake up." Ellie took the covers off Jo in an attempt to wake her up.

Jo mumbled something incoherent to Ellie before she grabbed the covers and buried herself underneath it again.

"Mom! Cade would be here in a short while. Come on mom, get up." Ellie shook Jo's shoulders to wake her up.

"What time is it?" Jo mumbled shifting her position.

"6:30. Cade would be here at 7. You only have half an hour to prep yourself. Come on." Ellie took the covers off her again.

Jo forced her eyes open, sighing deeply before she sat up on the bed. "This better be good." She mumbled again before standing up to prepare.

* * *

They left their room 10 minutes past 7, because Jo could not find her phone and her camera, only to find them in the drawer of her bedside table. After breakfast, they went directly to the harbor and boarded the boat that would take them to look for whales and dolphins. The boat left the harbor at exactly 8 in the morning. It took them almost an hour before they finally spotted a dolphin. After the first dolphin, they saw another, and then a group of five, swimming right beside their boat.

Jo and Ellie squealed with delight when the dolphins started to prance around them, as if knowing that they came to see them. They squealed again when the three of the dolphins leapt to the surface, putting up a show for them. Cade breathed a sigh of relief when he saw both of them having fun. He was not sure Jo would enjoy this activity, but looking at her face now, giddy with excitement, tells him that taking them here was not a mistake. Cade grinned when Jo turned her head to smile at him. He reminded Jo to take some pictures while the dolphins were still enjoying their company, which Jo hastily did.

Moments after, the dolphins left their positions around the boat. Blue whales took their place and swam beside their boat too, much to the tourists' amusement. They ooohhhh-ed and ahhhh-ed when the blue whales started flapping their tails, Jo taking as much pictures as she can. The cheer got louder when a very large blue whale tipped its head up the water as if taking a peek at their audience before submerging itself again on the water. She also took a shot through the underwater video camera of the boat, making her feel she was down there, swimming with them. Jo's eyes were wide with awe, her grin never left her face. When the blue whales finally swam away, they looked for sea lions, next. They only saw two of them, though. But it did not matter; they were still thrilled to see them up close.

"Cade, I never imagined it would be this fun! Thank you for bringing us here!" Jo said to him, still giddy. They were now heading back to the pier, expecting to dock shortly after 11AM.

"Am I already forgiven for waking you up that early?" Cade smiled at her.

"Absolutely!" Jo said beaming at him "it's all worth it."

"Mom, here, I'll take your picture with Agent Cade" Ellie offered, taking the camera from Jo. "Smile" Ellie said taking Jo and Cade's photo with the great blue ocean behind them. When Ellie was done taking their picture, a lady in her early forties approached them and offered to take a picture of the three of them. Ellie said thanks and handed the camera to the lady before standing in front of Jo and Cade, at the center. When the lady gave them back the camera, Jo said thanks again to which the lady smiled and responded, "No problem; you have a beautiful family." before walking away.

Cade grinned foolishly at Jo, and Ellie chortled. Jo took the camera from Ellie and looked at the picture of them. _I think I have to agree with her._

"Can I have a copy of all these pictures with me in it, later?" Cade asked looking from behind Jo's shoulders at the camera.

"Sure. I'll email them to you." Jo said looking up at him and stopped abruptly when she realized that her face was just mere inches from his, their noses almost touching already. They gazed at each other's eyes for a second, before Cade broke their eye contact and slowly turned his head and faced ahead, his dimples slowly showing themselves, his face turning a crimson red, and his heart beating fast. He did not want her to think that he was being cocky as to kiss her right after what the lady who took their picture said. Things had been doing well so far, and he did not want to ruin everything with a single, little mistake. It proved to be difficult though, with Jo always being irresistible and him constantly around her.

Jo looked back down to the camera in her hand, her own smile slowly creeping up her face, her cheeks heating up, and she was pretty sure that it was not because of the sun. _Damn it, Danville. Get a grip of yourself. Stop acting like a teen._

The three of them went to have their lunch at one of the many restaurants in the area when they finally arrived at the pier. While eating, Jo asked Cade if he had any more plans for them as they were just merely relying on him to get the best out of this vacation.

"Yup. Later, I'm planning to take you to one of the most romantic places I know." Cade winked playfully at her before taking a bite out of his fish and chips.

Ellie cleared her throat. "I am going with you too or should I plan my own adventure?"

"You're coming with us, of course." Cade smiled at her.

"Uh huh, but you said it's romantic, right? I don't want to be the third wheel later." Ellie chuckled at her mother's bewildered look.

Cade laughed. "Like mother, like daughter"

Jo lightly kicked his shin under the table.

"Okay! Okay! Good thing you're not in heels." Cade chuckled at Jo before turning to Ellie "The place is romantic but it is a garden. You'd find plants and flowers there, and a library, there's also a gallery. The view there is just beyond your imagination, whether you see it during the day or night. Although, it would be more romantic there when the sun starts to set. The place could be quite unbelievable, like something that can only exist in your imagination. The problem is they close at 4PM and the sunset won't be until around 5." Cade said casually, waiting for anyone of them to protest.

Jo was the first one to react. "Won't it be a pity to close that early, when they could make the experiences of those who would go there more worthwhile?"

"Yeah, but that's their policy." Cade shrugged at her, trying to stop himself from saying anything more.

"It's unfair! It sounds so enticing and yet we cannot stay to experience the best" Ellie pouted.

"I did not say we cannot stay, though, did I?" Cade finally said, could not wait to share them the news. Jo and Ellie stared at him wide-eyed, afraid to say anything for fear that Cade would suddenly retract his statement, but at the same time they're excited to know what he would say next.

Cade grinned broadly at them before telling them the good news. "I know someone who knows someone and well… they agreed for us to stay until 5:30."

"YES!" Ellie exclaimed.

Cade looked at Jo wiggling his eyebrows at her, to which Jo slowly shook her head at him before grinning at him.

"Naughty!" Jo mouthed to him when Ellie was not looking.

Cade laughed when he made out what Jo had mouthed.

* * *

It was already past 12 when they finished their lunch and as it was still early, Cade asked Jo if she'd want to take a nap first, given the time it took Ellie to wake her up this morning, before they go to the place he was talking about. Jo agreed and they went back to the hotel. It was half-past two when they left their hotel and it took them fifteen minutes to reach San Clemente, where Casa Romantica Gardens was located.

"Oh my God. The façade alone was already beautiful. It's just like what I see on TV!" Jo exclaimed upon seeing the white stucco walls, and the wooden, keyhole shaped door.

"Look at the fountain! That frog's cute!" Ellie exclaimed from the backseat.

She and Ellie immediately got out of the car when it stopped and took a long sweep around the area where they were currently standing. Cade got out of the car as well after killing the engine. "Liked it?" he asked them even though it was already obvious that they love what they were seeing.

"Are you kidding me? It's lovely, Cade." Jo squealed at him.

"Okay, wait for me for a while; I'll go to the admin office to confirm our schedule." Cade said already walking briskly to the administration office.

When the formalizations were over, they walked through the keyhole shaped door, camera on hand. Jo and Ellie gasped when they saw the expanse of the courtyard, and the tropical flowers and plants around them. They went to the galleries at the opposite sides of the courtyard, first, exploring every room as they make their way to the back of the grand estate. When they entered the butterfly garden, Ellie was ecstatic of the butterflies that were scattered all around the garden, their wings a rainbow of colors that hypnotized Ellie to go closer to them, but careful not to scare them away. Jo watched Ellie and smiled herself. There was nothing more gratifying for a mother to see her child so happy, all worries in life forgotten for a moment, enjoying herself as much as she can.

"Oh my!" Jo exclaimed her hand flying to her chest, when they finally reached the back of the estate "You're not kidding when you said this is one of the most romantic places you know!" Jo slid open the sea doors as they called it and the three of them walked out to the terrace, facing the crystal blue expanse of the Pacific Ocean. They ventured out a little further, went down the stone carved steps, and stood at the "Story Circle", looking at the masterpiece view in front of them.

"How did you find out about this?" Jo asked Cade, astonishment resounding in her voice.

"A friend's sister got married here. I'd never known about this before then." Cade explained, his eyes taking in the view that he had seen before but still captured him by its beauty.

"It's stunning Cade. It's like paradise. And all those rooms, and the courtyard, that we have to go through before we arrive here was just like a preview of this magnificent scene." Jo sighed in awe of the crystal blue water that merged with the cloudless, clear blue sky above them. As the estate was perched over the pier, they were overseeing the boardwalk, the pier, and some water activities from where they were standing.

"Glad you liked it." Cade said smiling when he saw her expression.

"Liked it? I loved it! I could come here everyday and not get tired of the view." Jo said, looking at him "How is it that you manage to find the most beautiful places, each time?" she smiled, eyebrows raised playfully at him.

"Research" Cade shrugged. "It also helps when you know the right persons." He grinned at her.

Jo glanced at her watch and saw that there's almost an hour to go before sunset.

"We can go back inside while waiting for the sunset." Cade suggested as if reading her mind.

They went back to the Library as they wait for the sunset, each of them perusing a book. When the sky started to change colors, they rushed out to where they were standing earlier and watched the spellbinding panorama in front of them. From where they stood, they can see how the crystal blue water changed its color as well, as the sky reflects its color on it, giving an illusion that the sky and the ocean was one and the same thing, each one continuing to the other, the only contrast was the colors on the ocean were darker than the sky's.

At the moment where the sun was already low and casting an orange glow on them, Ellie stood behind her mother and Cade, on the third step of the stone carved stairs, giving her a higher vantage point than them, and took their picture without using flash. The result was amazing. Jo and Cade were standing side by side, their shoulders barely touching each other, both facing the sunset. She took a picture of their silhouette against the sunset as backdrop, and it came out dramatically good. Ellie waited patiently for another perfect opportunity. When the sun got a bit lower, the part of the sky farthest to the sun was tinged with a rose hue, overlapping with the orange shade, and finally the golden glow of the setting sun. When Jo saw the rose-hued sky, blending with and emphasizing the golden orange glow at the center of it, Ellie heard her gush prompting her to train the camera once again to where Jo and Cade were.

Cade heard Jo gush beside him, and he turned his head to look at her, which caused her to look at him too. When their eyes met, they smiled at each other.

Ellie clicked on the shutter, capturing the very image she wanted to capture. She smiled when she saw the image on the display. _Perfect!_

Cade looked at the sunset-radiated glow on Jo's face and sucked in a breath. She was stunning against the golden orange splendor, her eyes sparkling amid their almost dark surrounding. Cade swallowed at the enthralling view in front of him that was Jo.

"You're so beautiful." Cade whispered.

Jo smiled at him, her eyes never leaving his.

Cade swallowed again, his mind debating over what he wanted to do. Since they came to California, he sensed a trace of reservation about her, though he did not felt about it at once, he eventually had figured it out by observing her actions. And since he did not know where the reservation was coming from, he was so afraid of committing a mistake that might push her away. But he could not help it. She was like a flame to a moth, luring it in until it comes too close to it and then burns itself. Cade decided to be lured in and bent forward, moving his head too close to his flame and paused for a moment, waiting if he would be burnt by his bold move.

Jo saw the hesitation in Cade's eyes, and it was confirmed when his face stopped merely inches from hers. She smiled a small smile at him, before slightly arching her head upward to meet his. When Cade saw this subtle move by Jo, he gravitate his face towards hers. He pushed back a lock of stray hair with his finger before letting his hand rest at her nape, and finally leaned in and kissed her gently. She closed her eyes when she felt his lips on hers, and then she kissed him back, making his heart soar. Jo felt butterflies fluttering around her stomach but she could not ignore the void in her heart, so with both of her hands on his back, she pulled him closer to her. She pressed her lips further to him, in an attempt to fill that void in her heart, but her effort proved to be futile. She had only made that nagging void much bigger and much painful.

Ellie took five simultaneous shots of Jo and Cade, starting from where Cade leaned in just until their lips touched, before quickly turning around to leave them alone in the Story Circle.

When they finally pulled away, they smiled again at each other before looking at the now barely visible sun in the horizon. Cade noticed the hint of pain in her eyes, even when she was smiling, but he knew better not to ask. He just vowed to himself to be more sensitive about her, and to try his best to make it go away.

Jo turned around to look for Ellie when she realized she was not where she was standing earlier.

"She went in." Cade answered her unspoken question when he saw her looking for Ellie "Ready to go?"

Jo nodded yes to him and they both went inside to look for Ellie, before leaving Casa Romantica.

* * *

Christine sighed exasperatedly.

"Sorry, I have to get this." Mac mumbled to Christine before answering his phone.

When he was done talking, he walked back to where Christine was sitting.

"I'm really sorry, there's a crime scene and I'm on call. I have to go." Mac said sullenly looking at Christine.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Christine said, shaking her head. "Go ahead." She said before standing up. It was the first Saturday after she came back from Napa Valley and they were having their lunch together at her restaurant. It had been a busy week for the crime lab and this is the first time that both of them had the time to eat a meal together, since Piccolo. They were just half way through their meal when Mac's phone rang, asking him to proceed to a crime scene.

"I'll see you tonight. I'm really sorry." Mac mumbled before kissing her. He hated it when every time they would have some time together, he ends up being called for. He felt that he already owed Christine a lot since the honeymoon and he wanted to make it up to her but his job would always take him away from her. And although she was not saying anything to him, her sighs, her glares, her head-shaking, all stated that she was not happy with what was happening.

* * *

"Hey Mac, Vic's name is Roger Bucks, mid-fifties. He owned this bakery, single, lived upstairs, neighbors say that a lady and her son who worked for him used to live in the bakery also but we found nobody else when we got here." Don ticked off the details from his notebook, making sure that he did not leave out any information.

"Do we know who they were?' Mac inquired while squatting down to take a better look at the body on the parquet floor.

"The mother's name is Ana and her son's name is Louie. They don't know their last name and they don't talk much also. They just do their jobs and retreat to the backroom when they're done."

"When did they start working for him?" Mac started taking photos of the victim.

"Ana started working for him about twenty years ago then she got pregnant a couple of years later, then the son eventually worked alongside his mother."

"Where's the father in this story?"

Don shrugged at Mac, "Nobody knew anything about the father. They said Roger Bucks told them that Ana met some guy somewhere and when he found out that she was pregnant, he did not see her anymore."

"Anything missing?"

"Looks like some cash were taken away in haste. The safe was opened with the key, but was empty. And there are a few pieces scattered here, and over there." Don said, pointing the scattered money on the floor.

"We need to look for the mother and son, see if they know anything about this." Mac told Don, to which Don nodded his agreement.

* * *

Mac went back to the crime lab and as he sat down on his chair, his eyes immediately darted to his desktop calendar. He counted from the date where a big red mark was encircled on it, then sighed heavily. _Two more weeks to go._

"You look like you're being tortured." Lindsay's voice broke through his thoughts. "What's the matter?" she asked while approaching his desk.

Mac shook his head "Nothing. Anything on the case?" he asked her, hoping it would divert her attention from him.

"Still running the prints from the bakery. I just came here to give you these. They needed your signature." Lindsay said handing him a small stack of folders.

"Is everything okay? You look… dejected?" Lindsay frowned at her own words then retracted "Dejected does not quite make it. You really look like you're being tortured. What's the problem?" Lindsay's concern was apparent now. She knew something was bothering Mac but she had no idea what.

Mac shook his head at her. "Everything's fine, just…" he thought of an excuse "Christine and I were having lunch when the call came in. She was disappointed." He said instead. He was not even lying as Christine was really disappointed but it was not what was bothering him when Lindsay saw him. When that realization dawned on him, he scowled at himself. He's far more _tortured_ by something else other than the fact that Christine was disappointed at him. Mac sighed heavily, realizing that his thoughts were getting uglier by the minute.

Lindsay nodded her head at him, understanding what she thought he was saying "She'll understand, just give her some more time." She said before leaving him alone in his office.

Mac shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. _What the hell is wrong with me?!_


	10. Chapter 10

_**From Chapter 9**_

_Mac shook his head at her. "Everything's fine, just…" he thought of an excuse "Christine and I were having lunch when the call came in. She was disappointed." He said instead. He was not even lying as Christine was really disappointed but it was not what was bothering him when Lindsay saw him. When that realization dawned on him, he scowled at himself. He's far more__tortured__by something else other than the fact that Christine was disappointed at him. Mac sighed heavily, realizing that his thoughts were getting uglier by the minute._

_Lindsay nodded her head at him, understanding what she thought he was saying "She'll understand, just give her some more time." She said before leaving him alone in his office._

_Mac shut his eyes and inhaled deeply.__What the hell is wrong with me?!_

**Chapter 10**

"Mac, sketches of Ana and Louie were out, and prints from the safe belonged to Roger and Louie. Louie got arrested for a brawl three years ago and we have him on AFIS. You know, there's something missing here. I just could not point my finger on what, exactly." Lindsay handed him the tablet to show Mac Louie's face.

"I'm placing my money on Louie being the one who killed Bucks." Danny said joining Lindsay and Mac in his office. "Just a week ago, the neighbors heard shouting from the bakery at the middle of the night. Heard some crashing and then silence throughout the night, after that."

"Nobody called police? Nobody checked?" Mac asked, looking at Danny.

"No. When it stopped, they did not bother anymore. The next day, everything was back to business as usual." Danny shrugged.

A few minutes later, Sheldon walked into Mac's office with yet another tablet in his hand. "Roger Bucks was stabbed once at the back by the spatula we got at the crime scene, and was stabbed twice at the heart, Mac." He showed Mac the autopsy result before continuing, "Sid also found scratches all over his face and shoulders."

"He was the attacker?" Mac asked trying to put the puzzle together.

Mac's phone rang just as Sheldon opened his mouth to speak. When Mac ended the call, he told Sheldon that Flack was on his way back to the precinct with Louie. He was staying in a motel when the innkeeper recognized him upon seeing the breaking news on TV where his sketch was shown and quickly called 911. Ana was not in the motel when they arrived and was only able to bring Louie with them.

* * *

"Okay, start from the very beginning." Don instructed Louie as he sat down opposite him in the interrogation room.

When Louie did not respond, Don asked him again. "Did you kill Roger Bucks?"

"No." Louie said looking him in the eye, but Don sensed the tension and hesitance.

"Then explain why your fingerprints were all over the spatula that was used to stab Roger Bucks to his death." Don said showing him the picture of the bloodied spatula.

"I used to work there. I had used the spatula a number of times."

"See, the problem is we also found your blood in the spatula. And if I'm not mistaken, that gash in your right palm was cut by the very same spatula when you stabbed Roger, the pressure from when you stabbed him cutting you in the process. Am I right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Louie said, sounding more nervous than when Don first asked him.

* * *

Mac was watching them from the observation room when a uniformed officer came in and informed him that Ana was outside, asking for her son. Mac went out to see a hysterical woman in her early forties yelling for her son to be released. When Mac approached her and introduced himself, she said he should arrest her because it was her who killed Roger Bucks. Knowing that Ana was just trying to protect her son, he asked her to join him in the observation room. She was looking for her son, after all.

* * *

"Really? This is what I think happened." Don shifted his body and leaned forward towards Louie, and stared at him. "Roger caught you taking his money from the safe and he attacked you but your mother saw him and tried to pry him off you, scratching him in the process." Don saw the change in Louie's demeanor, he could see that Louie was now enraged and know that it would not be long before he finally speaks up. "While your mother was attacking Roger, he released you and tried to tackle your mother first. You saw this as an opportunity and took the spatula and stabbed Roger on his back. When he stumbled back, you stabbed him in the chest twice, making sure you hit near his heart to kill him off."

"It's not what happened. It was nothing like that. You knew nothing." Louie said through gritted teeth, eyes blazing at Don.

"Nope, I think that's what happened. When you saw him not breathing anymore, you took all his money and ran with your mother and hid in that motel. Where were you planning to go? How were you planning to spend his money?" Don pushed a little bit more.

"You're wrong! You don't know anything!" Louie was shouting now.

Ana was sobbing in the observation room. She kept on telling Mac to release Louie, and that she was the one who killed Roger Bucks but Mac did not budge.

"What, he did not pay you enough that you had to steal from him? There's only one thing I don't understand, though. Why only now? You've been living there your whole life, why rob him only now? Or had you robbed him before? Maybe took a little at a time from the register, so that he won't notice anything?" Don pushed harder, sensing he was already so close to making Louie speak up.

"It was self defense!" Louie shouted. "You thought I was the bad guy! I told you, you knew nothing! Do you know what kind of a monster that man was? He tried to rape my mother! He… he tried to do it again!" Louie balled his fists and slammed them to the table.

Don was shocked at the outburst. He expected the reaction, but he was not prepared for the story that Louie was trying to narrate.

"I did not know, before! I did not know anything. I was a big lie! My whole life was a big lie! He tried to rape her just last week. I wanted to kill him that time and if not for my mother he might be already dead since then. Do you know how it feels like to know that you were a product of a monstrous act? You spoke like you have done nothing wrong in your life; you spoke like you were the most righteous man in the world. Do you know how it feels when your mother tells you that she was raped and you're the product of it? And until then you did not know that the same man who feeds you, and shelters you, in exchange of working for him was your rapist of a father?" Louie could not keep his emotion in check anymore. He would always ask his mother about his father but she would only tell him that he walked away from her upon learning that she's pregnant. He had long accepted that explanation but when he saw Roger trying to rape his mother last week, and when he eventually learnt about his true personality, he had wanted to kill Roger more than ever. The only thing that stopped him from doing so was his mother. She begged him not to do anything. They've got nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. She told him she would never leave that place, and so Louie stayed with her so that he could protect her from Roger. Her mother told him about the small amount of money she had been stealing from Roger whenever she would be asked to purchase small items for the bakery. She said they would eventually escape from this hell they're in when she already have enough money to do so.

Don was reeling at the revelation. The case had just turned to worse.

Roger Bucks sent him to run an errand for him yesterday and when he came back around noon, he found him all over his mother trying to rape her again. Her mother was yelling and pushing him, and scratching him to make him stop but he was far stronger than her. Louie looked for a weapon to use against Roger and saw the spatula on the table. He grabbed the spatula and in rage, plunged it down his back. When Roger felt the excruciating pain, he stumbled back, releasing Ana. That's when Louie stabbed him in the chest, targeting his heart; because he really did not want to give him any chance of getting out of there alive. When Roger Bucks finally stopped breathing, Ana thought of her son and what he did meant for him. She quickly prepared for them to leave the bakery, going through the back door and through the alley. Louie thought of taking some money for them first. He did not have any money and neither did his mother, except for the small amount she had stolen from Roger. He knew where the safe was, and he knew that the key was inside Roger's trouser pocket. He opened the safe, hastily took the money and stuffed it in his bag before heading out to the alley.

* * *

Ana had already stopped crying at this moment, as if in resignation. She knew that her son would definitely go to jail, and she did not know how she would be able to continue life without him. She was an illegal immigrant. She was only 17 when she first came to the US and she did not know what to do. She found some jobs here and there but not one of them was permanent. Her salaries from those jobs were measly and it was not even enough to feed herself at times. She tried her luck in New York, thinking that there might be something better for her here. She remembered roaming around New York with nowhere to go, until she saw the ad hanging on the bakery's window. She went in and asked for the job. Roger declined her the job at first, saying she was too young; but she was persistent and finally convinced him to accept her in the end. They agreed on a little amount as her allowance and that she would sleep in the bakery to avoid any more cost on her part.

For a couple of years, Roger treated her well. Maybe because he thought she was too young, then. But when she turned 19, her nightmare started. At first he was just subtly touching her face and arms. Then sometimes he would put his arm around her shoulder, and though she felt uncomfortable, she did not put much thought to it. It was nearing Christmas then, when Roger first did it to her. She did not know what to do. She wanted to fight, but she was also afraid because of her illegal status. Roger threatened her that he would tell on her if she says anything, and if she even tried to leave him. She thought it was only that one time that she would suffer in his hands. But he did it again for the second time, and that was when she got pregnant. He had wanted her to get rid of the baby but she did not have the heart to do it. She begged him to let her keep the baby and he only agreed when she promised that she won't leave him, and won't talk to anybody about anything about her.

* * *

When Louie was handcuffed and being led out of the interrogation room, Ana started crying again. She was wailing, asking Mac to take pity on her boy. He was just a young kid, and was only trying to protect her mother. She was begging Mac to release her son and imprison her instead. Mac tried to pacify her, but she would not stop. He tried to explain to her that the DA would consider self defense in her son's case, but she would not listen. Perhaps, the pain and the fear had already deafened her against logic.

"I don't have anybody else, sir, please. I'm begging you, please not my boy. He's still young, please don't ruin his life. He still has a long way to go. Please give him a chance. Give my son a chance to live his life, sir. Please!" Ana knelt before him, begging him to release her son.

Mac tried to pull her up on her feet and she grasped at his arms instead. "Sir, please. What if that was your child in there? He'd made a big mistake but he only did it because he was trying to protect you. Sir, you would not want to see your child suffer in jail, rot inside, knowing that he was in that situation because of you, right?"

Mac stared at her, unable to move. What she said had touched a very intimate spot inside him. He had wanted to tell her that he did not know anything about what she was saying because he had no children of his own, but the truth is he understood her. He knew what she was saying, he had seen it a number of times in the past. Though he had never felt anything like how these parents were feeling, and he hoped he would not experience it ever, he could imagine how painful it was for them. _Jo was the one who's good at this. She would know the right things to say, not me._

Don entered the observation room and saw what was happening and called a lady officer to lead Ana out of the room. When they were the only ones left in the room, Don let out a sigh. "I have never imagined this case would turn out to be as painful as this, never had thought it could be this ugly. What's happening to the world, Mac? Why's there too much cruelty when life used to be so simple?"

"When Ana begged me to release Louie and take her instead, I don't know what to say to her. The anguish in her eyes was unnerving." Mac stared blankly through the one-way mirror, Ana's tear-stricken face still clear in his mind.

"Man, I know she's suspended and why, but I wish Jo was here. She would know how to handle Ana. She would know what to say to calm her a bit, to comfort her a little."

_My thoughts exactly. _Mac turned to go out of the room and back to the crime lab. "Yeah, she would."

* * *

It was already Monday when the old-fashioned amusement park was finally put up. Jo was ecstatic when she saw the attractions around her. Memories from her childhood flooded her mind.

She remembered her daddy when she saw the cotton candy kiosk; he used to tease her by giving her the pink one instead of the blue that she wanted. When little Jo pouted and shook her head no, her daddy would lean down and point at his cheek. She would kiss his cheek and he would then give her the blue cotton candy that she liked so much as she'd never liked pink ever since. Jo smiled at the memory. When she saw the Ferris Wheel, although incomparable to the LED-lit, giant Pacific Wheel in Santa Monica, her eyes lit up. Whenever they would go to the theme park, she and Leanne would look for the Ferris Wheel, first. They would sit together and wave at their daddy while they ride up, gently rocking the gondola all the while, much to the consternation on their daddy's face. Jo felt a little sad when she remembered Leanne. She would always tease Jo whenever they would ride the carousel. Jo loved the carousel so much as a child, but she had always been afraid of the bigger horses. She loved the small ones, because those were the ones she could sat on comfortably. The bigger horses scared her because for her they might as well be real.

She blinked back the tears that were starting to pool in her eyes, and continued to walk down the memory lane for each ride that she saw. She felt a hand tugging at hers and turned around.

"Mom, are you okay?" it was Ellie, her eyes worried, trying to know why her mother suddenly looked sad.

Jo gave her a weak smile "I remembered Aunt Leanne. We used to pester daddy every time to bring us to amusement parks during summer."

Ellie squeezed her hand, as if to confirm that she understood what Jo was saying.

Meanwhile, Cade was nowhere to be found. He dropped them off here and told them that he would return later to pick them up. He said he had to oversee something, but would not say what. As a former FBI agent herself, she understood when a case was very delicate, that not even a single thing could be let out in the open, so she did not ask anymore. He returned later to keep his promise and drove them back to the hotel.

The next day, Ellie went surfing again, while Jo and Cade went kayaking. After a couple of hours, they went back to the hotel. Cade had asked them if they wanted to watch a string quarter concert that afternoon but Ellie begged off. String quartet was really not her thing. Jo, on the other hand accepted Cade's offer. They had lunch at the hotel restaurant before going up to their rooms to prepare for the concert.

Jo was wearing a plum-colored, A-line dress that fell just an inch above her knee and cinched with a thin belt, emphasizing her tiny waist. She was wearing again her black pumps as those were the only dressy ones she had managed to bring with her, as well as her black purse. When Cade saw her, he could not take his eyes off her, yet again.

"Dressed up for me, huh?" he teased her.

Jo scoffed at him playfully "Of course not, it's a concert we're going to, right?" she retorted, although her heart was beating a mile a second. She did, in fact, dressed up for him. She liked dressing up for him actually, because he takes notice.

The concert lasted for two and a half hours; ending at 7PM. Cade brought Jo to dinner after the concert. He had made a reservation for the corner table with the harbor view, making their spot intimate and romantic; adding to the ambiance was the soft jazz playing in the background.

"The place's impressive" Jo said to him when they were seated.

"It's one of my favorites whenever I find my way here." He smiled, before perusing the menu.

"How many had you brought here?" Jo asked him with a sly smile on her face, her eyes trained on the menu, deliberately refusing to look at him.

Cade smiled. "Not much, just two. You're the second one."

"Uh huh" Jo said smiling still.

"Jealous?" Cade teased.

Jo looked up at him "Why should I be?" she asked coyly.

Cade looked up at her too "You tell me"

They looked at each other, both smiling, both challenging the other before Jo shook her head and looked down again on her menu.

"My mother was the first woman I brought here." Cade said nonchalantly. "In case you want to know who the first woman was." he added.

Jo only smiled at his statement. She really did not care who the first woman was, she was just merely teasing him. But yeah, okay, her heart almost leapt out when he told her it was his mother. She bit her lip ever so slightly to keep herself from grinning like a fool.

After having their dinner, and after checking on Ellie, they each refilled their glasses with their third round of red wine.

Jo inhaled deeply, breathing in the freshness of the water before slowly letting her breath out. Cade was just simply staring at her admiringly.

"Jo, how's your stay in here doing so far?" Cade asked, swirling his wine.

"Oh, it was fantastic. It had been a long time since I had this much fun." Jo said, her eyes sparkling under the dimmed lamp hanging over their table.

"I'm glad to hear that." he paused as if in contemplation of what he would say next, "Two more weeks to go before you go back to New York."

Jo nodded, suddenly alert, wondering where this conversation was going.

"Ready to go back, yet?"

"Even if I don't want to go back yet, I don't really have a choice. My LOAs were all used up." She smiled at him a little nervously, though she tried to cover it up. She hoped he won't ask her anything she was not yet ready to answer, and not sure what to answer.

Cade seemed lost in thought for a while.

"Are you happy in New York?" he finally asked, hesitantly, while looking at her.

Jo's forehead slightly crinkled. She was getting more nervous now.

"I think so." Jo said, thinking about all that had happened to her this year, thinking about all that had happened between her and Mac.

"You're not sure if you're happy or not?" Cade inquired a bit more.

Jo sighed "I don't know. I have not thought about it, yet." she said, hoping that he would stop asking her these kinds of questions.

"Is there a problem?" Cade tried again, hoping she would open up to him.

Jo stared off in a distance. Unfortunately for her, she did not have Mac's poker face. Everything that went through her mind, and the feelings associated with those, crossed her features, giving Cade a glimpse of what she might be thinking. He's now certain that there was a problem concerning New York. He was not sure though if it had something to do with her work.

Finally, "I don't know" she shook her head at him, before taking a sip of her wine. His questions brought her back to reality; the reality that she was only here to take a break from everything about New York. She was reminded on why she was here, and she flinched when she remembered why. _Almost time to face your reality again, Danville._

He did not push any further for fear that she would push back. They just sat there and talked about other things, things that do not involve New York. It was almost 10PM when they left the restaurant and headed back to the hotel.

Cade walked Jo to her room and said goodnight to her at the door.

"It was a lovely evening, Cade. Thank you." Jo said looking up at him.

"I enjoyed your company very much." Cade said, gazing intently at her eyes. He leaned in and suddenly stopped when his mouth was mere inches from Jo's. Jo saw the hesitation in his eyes. Finally, he kissed her at the corner of her mouth, as he was not sure whether to kiss her on her lips or cheek. When she did not protest, nor did she do anything, he stood up, knowing that his decision on where to kiss her was right, after all.

Jo smiled at him before inserting the key card and letting herself in.

When Cade asked her about New York at dinner, she immediately thought about Mac. It was hard for her to differentiate the two, as for her New York would always be associated with Mac. And thinking about Mac nowadays was difficult without associating him with pain, also. When Cade kissed her at the corner of her mouth, she did not do anything because as much as she wanted him to kiss her on her lips, she was afraid that she won't be able to kiss him back. She thought of the night at Casa Romantica when she tried to fill that nasty void in her heart by kissing Cade more than she had wanted. It just left her feeling emptier. It could have been easier for her, as long as she would not think of Mac, otherwise, she would end up feeling guilty, and doubtful of herself, wondering what she was doing with Cade here in California. As much as she wanted to move on and forget whatever feelings she was harboring for Mac, things were just not that easy.

"Jo?" Cade called on her before she closed the door.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you out again on Saturday?"

Jo tilted her head slightly to the right as if not understanding what he meant.

"It's your last weekend here before you go back to New York. I was just thinking maybe we could go out again? Just like what we did tonight. A nice dinner, maybe a slow dance or two…" Cade shrugged his shoulders and gave her a small smile. He was afraid she would say no because of what bound he had almost breached earlier when he asked her about New York.

Jo nodded at him "Yeah, I guess so" she smiled before saying goodnight and closing the door.

Cade breathed out a sigh of relief. Had she not accepted his invitation, all of his efforts yesterday would be put to waste. He had been talking to someone for what he was planning to do on Saturday that was why he was not able to join them at the amusement park yesterday.

Cade walked back to his room, his mind occupied, trying to figure out what could be Jo's problem in New York. He knew something was bothering her. It was evident; the way she hesitated when he asked her if she's happy in New York, the distant look in her eyes, maybe it was also the reason why she's here with him. She was trying to escape from something in New York.

* * *

Mac had just finished narrating to Christine about his case earlier. They were already in bed, about to sleep, but he thought she might want to know what case pulled him away from her yesterday, while having their lunch.

Christine was silent for a moment. When Mac thought she would not say anything about it, he reached for the science journal on the nightstand and read a few lines.

"Mac, don't you want to retire, yet?"

Mac's head snapped up from the science journal he was reading and looked at Christine, baffled at what she had just said.

"Retire?"

"Yeah, I mean you wouldn't want to work all your life, right?" Christine said, looking at him.

Mac frowned slightly at her, not sure what to make out of her line of questioning.

"Well, I just thought maybe you want to retire from the lab, and just help me run the restaurant. With the income from the restaurant, and the pension that you'd be receiving, I think it's enough for us to live comfortably."

"Where did you get that idea?" Mac finally managed to force out of his mouth.

Christine laughed, "What you mean where I got the idea? Don't tell me you don't have any plans of retiring."

"Of course I do, but I don't think it would be anytime soon."

"Oh, but when do you want to retire?" Christine's own forehead was forming a frown now.

"I don't know. I just know that I still want to do this job. Besides, I don't know anything about running a restaurant." he said in a very controlled voice. It had never occurred to him that she would want him to retire this early. They had just gotten married and were starting to build their lives together, but he felt like she was asking him to give up the life he had been living and live hers instead. When they got married, he never thought she would want to change this aspect of his life, because she knew that this is the only life he had ever had, the only way he knew how to live his life; how come she was asking him to retire and had already planned on how he should spend it after retiring?

"Don't worry about that. You know when I was in Napa, the vineyard owner there was a retired cop too. His wife was the one in the wine business but then he had decided he was tired of running after criminals and retired early. They started as a retailer only, then purchased a small lot, until it expanded to the huge vineyard that it was now. I'm not dreaming about expanding though. I love that the restaurant was not too big, making it easier to handle. What do you think?" Christine asked blithely.

"I don't know. It never occurred to me about doing other than what I do now. I haven't even decided when to retire, yet." Mac saw the dismay on Christine's face after hearing his answer.

"Okay then. But can you promise me that you'll think about it?"

"Okay." Mac said, turning off the lamp on his nightstand, wanting to just sleep things through. _Things were going too fast._


	11. Chapter 11

**I just want to say thanks to my readers, reviewers, and followers. You fuel my desire to write! Thank you again. Enjoy Chapter 11! Reviews are always appreciated :)**

* * *

_**From Chapter 10**_

"_I don't know. It never occurred to me about doing other than what I do now. I haven't even decided when to retire, yet." Mac saw the dismay on Christine's face after hearing his answer._

"_Okay then. But can you promise me that you'll think about it?"_

"_Okay." Mac said, turning off the lamp on his nightstand, wanting to just sleep things through. Things were going too fast._

**Chapter 11**

_One more week._

Jo was brushing her hair, getting ready for a day at the beach. Ellie wanted to go down and surf and she wanted to make the most out of the California sun. Her skin had a nice tan by now, and she liked how it intensified her eyes.

These past few days, they had been beach hopping; trying to see which of the nearby beaches was the best. While Ellie surfed, she and Cade would either stroll around or lie on the beach towels and enjoy the sun on their skins. She preferred strolling, though. When they walk around the beaches, Cade would hold her hand while they walk. It may not be much, but for her it was a hint of warmth that she needed badly. When Cade holds her hand, she felt like he would not let her go, and somehow it felt right.

Her vacation's almost up. By the following Friday, they would have to fly back to New York and she would have to go to work the very next day. She dreaded the time for her to go back but at the same time, she missed the team also. She did not know how to face Mac, though considering how their last exchange had been. She thought she might as well be indifferent to him, much like how she handled this kind of situation with him in the past.

Jo breathed out a pent up breath. She knew she could not hide for the rest of her life, unless she left New York then, she would be able hide from him. The thought was quite tempting but hiding was not her style. She chose to tackle things head on instead of running away from it. Sometimes though she needed to escape from it first to gather her thoughts or take a breather, before she faces the problem. And that's what she had done, exactly.

"Want to try Jet Ski?" Cade asked her when Ellie ran to the water excitedly.

"I don't know how" she said but already, her eyes were saying yes to his offer.

"We can rent one and ride together. I won't let you fall down the water, I promise." Cade said smiling at her.

Jo grinned at him "okay!" she had never tried it before, and she was excited to experience it.

Cade rented a jet ski and gave her the life vest. He helped her get on the Jet Ski first before positioning himself behind her. He put her hand on the handle bars before placing his hand over hers. He started the engine and they went slow at first, Cade giving her a chance to get her bearing. He started to go fast and in no time, he could already hear Jo's childish squeals of excitement over the sound of the engine.

While Jo was squealing and laughing in front of him, he was now the one trying to get his own bearing. When he offered for them to ride together, it did not occur to him how close he would be to her. He risked a glance at her nape that was right in front of his face and swallowed. He had never been this close to her before, not counting their encounter in New York, of course. But even then, he did not see this part of her, and he realized how sexily it curved down to join her shoulders. And now that they were going against the wind, he was feeling intoxicated by the smell of her shampoo, her shower gel, and her own scent that were filling up his lungs with a mixture of scent that makes him feel calm and frisky at the same time, it was driving him crazy! He was trying hard to concentrate in maneuvering the Jet Ski but it was very difficult. As much as he wanted to prolong this ride, he wanted for it to end already too. He did not want to make a mistake, and he did not want to rush her; not after what he had sensed from her the night of the concert. He could only thank Heaven when the time was finally up and they had to return the Jet Ski.

In the afternoon, they went up to Lantern Bay Park just to relax, and enjoy the whole scenery from a higher ground. They were sitting at one of the picnic tables, watching the kids play on the playground not too far from where they were sitting, when Cade stiffened in his seat. He was sitting opposite Jo and Ellie, and Jo watched as he hastily excused himself and stood up saying he saw somebody he knew and would like to talk to him about something. Jo turned her head to look where he was going and who was the 'somebody' he was talking about. She thought it was the person Cade had been meeting with these past few days, someone who knew something about whatever case he was handling at the moment. When she saw that the two men were talking amicably, she turned her head back, not wanting to be caught spying on them.

After a few minutes, Cade had not come back yet and he was not where he was a few minutes ago. The man he was talking with was also gone. Jo was trying to locate them when she heard Ellie's voice.

"You miss him already? He's gone only for a few minutes." Ellie was looking at her, a wide grin on her face.

"I was just wondering where they'd gone to." Jo said, turning her attention to her daughter.

"Yeah?" Ellie smirked at her.

"Yeah!" she rolled her eyes at Ellie "You're being quite nosy, young lady."

Ellie chuckled at her mother, and then all of a sudden she went quiet.

Jo turned to face her, wondering what had happened. She did not notice Cade walking his way to them.

"What's wrong, Ellie?" Jo asked her, her voice laced with concern.

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to ask you something." Ellie said, looking at her mother with a serious expression.

"What is it?" Jo asked again, her full attention was directed at Ellie that she did not see Cade approaching from behind.

"Are you and Cade a couple now?"

Jo let out a chuckle.

"You scared me, Ellie. I thought it was something else." Jo said, relieved. "No baby, we're not a couple, yet."

"But you love him? Are you in love with him, Mom?" Ellie asked.

Cade stopped dead on his tracks. He had wanted to ask the very same question, but he was too scared to know the answer. He did not mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but he was dying to know Jo's answer.

"Ummm… a little infatuated, yes" Jo said, before chuckling. "I feel like a teenager!" Jo was laughing now, as well as Ellie.

Cade felt himself break out in a smile when he heard what Jo said, his heart beating fast.

Then Ellie stopped laughing "Infatuated, Mom? Only infatuated?"

Cade frowned, sensing there was more to Ellie's question.

Jo sighed heavily, her expression all serious "Oh, I don't know Ellie… I'm so confused right now. I can safely say that I am infatuated with Cade, alright. I am certain of that, at least."

Ellie nodded.

"Was it… was it because… of Mac? Are you still… in love with Mac?" Ellie asked carefully, gauging her mother's reaction.

Cade stood stock-still. He felt like someone poured cold water on him. _Mac? That's who she was running from?_

Jo slowly nodded her head at Ellie. "I wanted so much to move on, Ellie. Go on with my life, forget my feelings for him. And Cade was just very lovable during the whole duration of our stay here. And… I don't know." Jo sighed again, as if in surrender. "My mind's a mess. I wanted to be in a relationship with Cade. I really do. But how can I do that to him, when I'm perfectly aware that I'm still in love with Mac?"

Cade's heart was pounding in his chest. He felt his throat constrict as if cutting off his oxygen.

"I don't want to hurt Cade. He had been so good to me, to us. And I know that everything that he was showing us was genuine. I don't want to fool him. I don't want to just use him so that I can resolve my own issues. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves better. And as much as I wanted that to be me, I know I'm not and it would not be fair to him, and neither to me. I just… I just hope that by the time I have already moved on, and ready to be with him, he hadn't given up on me, yet."

Cade carefully walked away from them and leaned back against a tree. He felt his heart break under the weight of her words. All this time, he kept on thinking about what Jo could be running from and now that he knew, he did not know how to take it. He's in love with Jo. He's smitten by her and for a while, he thought she could feel the same way about him, too. And she might have admitted that she was infatuated with him, but knowing that she loves Mac; that's the hardest part to accept.

He thought back of the time he was in New York. He had thought nothing about their closeness, then. Sure, they were walking with almost no space left between them, their shoulders almost touching, but he never would have thought that she might have feelings for Mac. And then it hit him; and it hit him hard. _Why did Jo brought me to her place, then?_ The pain was excruciating, he almost could not bear it when he thought of the most probable reason. _That was why she took me up with my offer to come here too, because she was hurt by the way Mac treated her with the suspension and for being mad at her. Also why she did not tell Mac about her leave, and her reaction when she realized Mac had been calling her the day they flew in._

Cade shut his eyes when the realizations dawned on him, and it got a little too much to bear. He now knew why Jo reacted that way when she realized Mac had been trying to reach her. It was not because she was worried about the additional days off, but because it was like rubbing salt to the wound; the wound in her heart, that is. Here she was, flying all the way to another state, creating some distance between them and making herself stay away from him for as long as she could by extending her days off, only to be welcomed by the fact that he could still reach her. She was trying to avoid him, forget him a little, and yet all he had to do is to dial those numbers and she'd be clutching at her heart, trying to piece it together again.

"Cade?" he heard Jo's voice and for a minute he thought he was dreaming her voice but then he remembered where he was and opened his eyes. Jo was standing in front of him, staring at his forlorn eyes.

"What are you doing here? What happened?" Jo's hazel eyes were full of worry.

Cade looked at those beautiful eyes for a minute, willing them to drown him in them. Then he gave her a weak smile and stood straight.

"Nothing." he shook his head, "I was just thinking about something. Come on, wanna go somewhere?" he asked, starting to walk to the direction where they were sitting earlier.

Jo, however, did not move from where she was standing, causing him to stop and turn around.

"What's wrong, Cade? Is it about a case?" she asked again.

Jo asked Ellie to stay at the picnic table they were occupying when she realized how long it had been since he left them to talk to that person they saw. She thought of how Cade had stiffened when he saw the man and she thought that there might be something more than Cade was telling her. Although understanding the nature of his work, she decided to look for him when her worry got the best of her.

Cade smiled at her, although she noticed how he seemed to force it out of him. "Nothing's wrong, Jo. Something I could never have expected was just brought to my attention and I don't know what to do with it, that's all." That wasn't a lie, either.

Jo noticed a big change in Cade's disposition. If in the last weeks that they spent together he was all jolly and lively, the Cade standing in front of her now looked perturbed and dreary. It unsettled her.

Noticing Jo's familiar expression when she was forming her perception about a person, showing in her face, Cade pushed back all the thoughts that were swarming in his head earlier, leaving her a blank canvas to work on. He walked back to where she was standing and stood, facing her. He tucked a few strands of her wind-blown hair behind her ear with his left hand, while his right hand held her left. He let his eyes roam around her face, taking in all of her features before smiling at her.

"Don't worry about me, Jo. I'll be fine." Cade told her in a low voice, which Jo thought was laced with sadness. He was not referring to whatever case Jo thought he was on, in fact it was not even about any case, at all.

* * *

Mac had been bustling about at the crime lab the whole day since he got in. This morning, he went to the DA's office to put in a few words for Louie. Ana's tormented face won't give him any peace. He wanted to make sure that the DA would not forget to take into consideration that Louie was just trying to save his mother from her rapist.

He stood up to take a walk around the lab. He had been sitting on his desk since he came back from the DA and he wanted to move around for a few minutes lest he risks blood clot on his limbs, and also to rest his eyes from reading all those documents.

While he was doing his rounds, he thought of what Christine had told him last night about the retirement. All his life, he had stayed in the same line of work. He might have been titled differently, but all of it ran in the same path. He had only wanted to contribute to lessen the evil in the society, if not to strip all of them from it. That was why his team would tease about why there was not any Mac Taylor action figure being sold, yet. Mac smiled at the thought. He knew about those jokes and he does not really care. It only pushed him to be more diligent and to catch as many criminals as he could. He thought of Christine, and what she said her plan was. He had felt so lost, since Claire died. He had been going in and out of crime scenes after crime scenes, entering and leaving the crime lab over and over, like a zombie. He was now given another chance to have a normal personal life and he wanted to take advantage of it because not everybody was given another shot in life, giving them the chance to make things right, to do whatever it is they wanted to do. And after the very painful tragedy that had happened to him, it really was a miracle to be able to find someone who could coax him out of his cocoon.

He went down to the morgue and watched as Sid stitched up a young Jane Doe who was robbed and shot at in a dark alley near Broadway. He was so gentle with the cadaver you might think she was still breathing while he worked on her. He then went up again and saw Adam trying to piece together a smashed mobile phone. He was about to walk past him when he heard him scream 'whaddup!' He smiled and looked at his direction, in time to see him pump his arm up and stopped mid-air when he saw him looking. He shook his head and went on his way. He saw Sheldon squinting his eyes on a dark-colored specimen inside a test tube, and he felt the corner of his mouth tug upward. Nobody could beat his very serious expression when Dr. Hawkes was working on something. He went on and found Lindsay talking on the phone asking for a copy of all the invoices of whatever store it was, her forehead all scrunched up. Danny entered and sat beside his wife before tousling her hair. Lindsay smiled at him, pinching his cheek as she thanked whoever it was on the phone. He smiled at their sweetness and knew that their relationship would last for life.

He was about to go back to his office but chose to go on to the back of the lab. Something was drawing him in like a magnet. He stood at the doorway of the dimmed office for a second before pushing open the glass door. He stepped inside and looked around before his eyes landed on the table in front of him. He felt his lips break into a smile when he saw the very festive décor of the desk. Every inch of the desk was covered either in multi-colored post-it notes, folders, notepad, or pens in almost all colors you could imagine. He chuckled at the chaos in front of him which Jo referred to as her workstation. Then he let out a sigh before touching the back of Jo's chair.

_Am I ready to leave all of these?_


	12. Chapter 12

_**From Chapter 11**_

_He was about to go back to his office but chose to go on to the back of the lab. Something was drawing him in like a magnet. He stood at the doorway of the dimmed office for a second before pushing open the glass door. He stepped inside and looked around before his eyes landed on the table in front of him. He felt his lips break into a smile when he saw the very festive décor of the desk. Every inch of the desk was covered either in multi-colored post-it notes, folders, notepad, or pens in almost all colors you could imagine. He chuckled at the chaos in front of him which Jo referred to as her workstation. Then he let out a sigh before touching the back of Jo's chair. _

_Am I ready to leave all of these?_

**Chapter 12**

Cade had been staring out at the blue expanse of water that was shimmering in the sun, from the café's terrace where he had been sitting for almost an hour now.

When they left Lantern Bay Park yesterday, he had avoided looking at Jo's eyes because he knew that she was scrutinizing his every move, 'investigating' what might be his problem. He sent her a text message this morning telling her that he had to do something and that he left his car for her at the hotel's basement garage and the key was inside the glove compartment. Truth is he had nowhere he had to go to. He just wanted to be alone for a while to think things through.

His barely-sipped coffee had now turned cold as it had been sitting with him since he came in. He came here because he knew that there was a low probability of Jo coming here since he was certain that she would definitely use this opportunity to bond with Ellie, which means they would probably be somewhere at the beach.

Cade thought of all the times they spent together in California and smiled a little. He thought of the amusement park, the glitter tattoo, the beach, dances, sunsets, walks, stories, whales, dolphins, pictures, concert, Jet Ski… he had an amazing time with her and Ellie. He felt like they were on a family vacation, only he was not part of their family.

He sighed and toyed with his cup.

He thought, now that he knew about her feelings for Mac, had anything changed at all about _his_ feelings for her? Did it really matter if she's in love with Mac? He was already married according to her and based on what he had overheard yesterday, she said she wanted to move on and get over her feelings for Mac. And most importantly, she said she was infatuated with him, and would like to be in a relationship with him. Only, she did not want to be unfair to him, making him think that everything was about him when in fact she had not forgotten Mac, yet. She was hoping that he would wait for her, until she had gotten over Mac and was finally ready to love him. Now, could he do that?

Cade heard a buzzing sound and noticed his phone sliding on the table. He looked at the caller ID, his thumb already hovering to the end button but decided to answer when he saw who was calling him.

"Hey, good morning." He said in a low, coarse voice that sounded pensive, even to him.

"Hi, I got your text. Cade, can you please tell me what's happening?" Jo's worried voice came through the line. He was not at all surprised by the straight to the point questioning. He knew she was getting agitated already so instead of observing her way to the truth, she just asked him point blank in hope that she could get her answer faster.

"Jo, relax. I told you, nothing's wrong. I just have to solve some issues, that's all. I'm sure you understand that, right?" Unfortunately for her, he was not yet ready to share to her about what he knew. So he hinted that it might be about work and she should understand when he could not divulge any information.

He heard Jo sigh, frustrated, and knew that she was not buying what he was telling her.

Finally, when she was certain he would not let her know anything, "Well, are you done yet? We're going to the beach, I was just wondering if you'd like to join us."

Cade could not help but smile at her determination. There was no way he would go anywhere near her today before their date tonight. He knew that her senses were already heightened, as it is. One wrong move was all it would take for her to finally figure out what was going on. He would not risk it.

"No, you go and enjoy yourselves. I still have things to do. Call me if you need me, though. I'll see you later, tonight." Cade said, reminding her that their date was still on.

Jo sighed again, recognizing defeat. "Okay, what time are you coming over?"

"I'll fetch you around quarter to five then we'd go somewhere for dinner."

"Okay then, see you." he could still hear the frustration in her voice before she hung up.

* * *

Ellie went surfing again, while she walked on the beach. She had not yet gotten far when she decided to return and slumped back at the beach towel she had already spread on the sand. _This is no fun!_ she thought. Her hand had been instinctively reaching out for another hand while she was walking, but had only managed to grab on air. She had gotten used to walking on the beach with Cade beside her, holding her hand while doing so that she felt something was lacking now that she was walking alone.

She kept on thinking of the way he looked yesterday when she found him leaning against a tree. He was so deep in thoughts he had not even felt her presence. And when he opened his eyes, she saw the melancholy in them and it unnerved her to see him like that. They had been with him for a month now and she had never seen him that sad. She knew it could not be about a case, otherwise he would not be this affected. It must be personal then, for it to cause him that much pain. It kind of hurt her a little knowing that what was bothering him was not work related, therefore it could be shared to her, especially when she had been exerting effort to reach out to him but he still chose to keep it to himself.

She watched Ellie while she tries to stand up on the surfboard with full on concentration on her face. She thought she would give the same concentration later during her date with Cade to find out what was bothering him that much.

* * *

"Mom, will you stop fussing around? I get dizzy just by looking at you." Ellie was sitting on Jo's bed watching her go in and out of the bathroom, trying every piece of trinkets she had with her and check in the big bathroom mirror if it suits her V-neck, sleeveless, knee-length dress in maroon with muted gold accents on the waist. The dress hugged her figure perfectly; enhancing her curves, and complimenting her tan and the natural glow she had acquired from days of walking under the sun.

"Why are you even nervous about this date when you had already dated him before?" Ellie stood up to fix her mother's necklace. Jo finally decided to wear the necklace with platinum dolphin pendant that Cade bought her from a gift shop they visited the day after they went whale watching.

'Add this to your collection of accessories' she remembered him telling her with a goofy smile.

"You're such a nervous wreck." Ellie said looking at Jo.

"Thanks Ellie. That's just encouraging." Jo said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at her daughter.

"Mom, stop worrying. You're beautiful. And Cade was already head over heels for you, he would not notice if there was a strand of hair that's out of place." Ellie just could not help teasing her mother.

Jo chuckled at Ellie's words before finally dabbing perfume on her pulse points.

* * *

"What happened?" Mac asked a fuming Lindsay when he saw her storming to her office.

Lindsay turned to show Mac the nasty, red mark on her left arm. "There's an idiot who left his eyes somewhere and bumped into me, without even uttering an apology."

Mac tried to stop himself from smiling but the scowl on Lindsay's face just made him smile a bit wider.

"Oh yeah, go ahead, Mac. Don't hold back." Lindsay said when she noticed Mac's expression.

"You know, Mac, there was something suspicious about that man. The hood of his jacket was up and almost covering his entire face, but when he bumped into me, I had a glimpse of his face and there was something oddly familiar on his feature. I just can't remember where I'd seen that." Lindsay said, frowning.

"He was probably just someone who you used to meet on the street on your way here, that's why he seemed familiar to you." Mac suggested, certain that Lindsay was over-thinking things.

Lindsay appeared to be thinking hard before she nodded her head slowly. Something inside her was telling her that there was something more with that man but she could not be certain so she just let it go.

* * *

Ellie insisted on taking a picture of Cade and Jo before they left the hotel for their dinner. Jo would not agree but like her mother, Ellie could be really persistent so she finally gave in.

"Prom night, huh" Ellie teased her mother.

Jo feigned indignation but Ellie's laughter made her smile anyway. She looked at Cade and saw him smiling too, but she also saw bleakness in his eyes. She held his hand and squeezed it, making him look at her. She gave him a small smile, her eyes questioning. He understood her unspoken question and gently shook his head. He then said goodnight to Ellie and they both turned to go.

"Where are we going?" Jo asked when they were already inside the car, Cade climbing up the garage ramp.

"To the pier" he said "I'd like you to meet someone first before we have dinner." he turned to her and smiled.

When they got to the pier, Cade had to park the car in a parking area not too far from the pier before they walked to their destination. Jo could see the excitement starting to show on Cade's face. She felt herself smile at his enthusiasm and it made her heart flutter because she knew that whatever it was that he had planned was tailored to fit her personality. This whole California adventure had been a strong 'evidence' of that, so to speak in crime lab language.

Cade stopped in front of a yacht club and asked for a certain person. They were led inside and asked to wait for the person Cade was looking for. It did not take too long when a man in his fifties came out from the back of the room and grinned when he saw them. Jo recognized the man that was standing in front of them, shaking Cade's hand. He was the same man at the Lantern Bay Park that Cade was talking with, the other day. Jo took the man's hand when he extended it to her, her mind already working overtime on what they could be possible doing here, and who this man could be.

"Michael Weinberger. I'm a friend of Cade's. He saved my daughter a long time ago; he's now part of our extended family." The man introduced himself to her. "Cade was not lying at all." he added before glancing at Cade.

"Hi. I'm Jo Danville; I used to work with him at the Bureau." Jo said as her way of introducing herself to him. "And Cade was not lying about what?" she asked Michael smiling, curious of what he was referring to.

"He said he wanted to create a perfect night for a perfect lady. The night was still in question, but the lady was undeniably perfect." He said beaming at her.

"Oh, you're a flatterer." Jo said blushing, making Cade blush as well.

"Shall we?" Michael asked them, motioning to the door where they came in.

Jo frowned a little, not knowing what was going on. She turned to Cade and was about to ask him but he smiled at her and led her out. Once outside, Michael led them to one of the many yachts docked beside the yacht club. She already had an inkling of where dinner would be but her jaw dropped when Michael led them to a 37-meter, triple-deck, cruiser yacht. The yacht was just plain handsome. It was all lit up in yellow-orange hazy glow, making it appear dreamy.

"Do you like it?" Michael asked Jo, a wide grin on his face when he saw Jo's reaction.

"It's handsome. Wow! I've never been on a yacht, before." Jo said, her eyes not leaving the yacht.

Cade smiled at her response. He knew he made the right decision again when he thought of this idea.

After the necessary courtesies, and after they were introduced to Michael Weinberger's son in law who would captain the yacht, they set sail at exactly 5PM.

Cade showed Jo around the yacht before they went up to the Top Deck. Through the sound of the yacht's engine, Brian Crain's rendition of Midsummer Night could be heard. Jo's eyes widened when she realized the direction they were heading.

"It's like we're chasing the sunset!" Jo exclaimed turning her head to Cade.

Cade smiled at her "We are" he said and that's when Jo noticed the single long-stemmed red rose he was holding. "And this is for you" he said, handing the rose to Jo before standing beside her.

Jo beamed at him as she accepts the rose "Thank you".

They watched the captivating scene that was unfolding in front of them as they go nearer the setting sun in time to the beat of the music playing in the background. When the yacht finally slowed down, Cade led Jo down to the large aft deck where a table was set for them. It was originally planned to be a candlelit dinner but Cade wanted it to be al fresco dining at the same time. Since candle lights won't stand a chance against the wind, they opted to bathe the dining area in warm lights instead which, given the wood finish of the interior, lent a cozy and romantic feel to it.

"Is this what you were doing these past few days? You're meeting with Michael Weinberger about this?" Jo asked, finally able to piece things together.

Cade grinned at her "Yup! Remember when I told you I could not go with you to the amusement park? We were planning on how to make this possible. You see, all I asked from Michael was a small yacht that I could borrow. When he asked me to tell him my plans, he told me it won't be possible in a small yacht. He insisted on letting us use this one instead. But then, since this is their family yacht, all of the things here were good for 10 people. So we had to move the big dining table that was originally sitting right here and install this small one instead. Same thing goes with the other dining table upstairs."

Jo looked at Cade awestricken. In her mind, nobody, not even Russ had given her this much attention. In this vast stretch of water, anxiety seemed to be very far away from her. It was like being sheltered in this realm where troubles could not reach her, could not even touch her.

Cade had only wanted to bring her here using a small yacht and share an intimate dinner with her, before Michael Weinberger offered to lend them this big yacht. He thought, since they were in this part of California, he would like her to experience literally having dinner under the moonlight. It was like giving her a small piece of the world where there's nothing for her to worry about, where only her happiness was the most important thing.

"Well, I'd like to know if my efforts paid off. Did you even like it?" Cade asked when their food was served.

"I love it." Jo reached for his hand over the table and held it "Thank you, Cade. For the past month, you've given me nothing but all these lovely experiences. Thank you." she smiled at him, the soft lights overhead making her eyes dance under them.

"You're welcome." he smiled at her, squeezing her hand.

Jo could hear the first chords of another song that was playing as they started eating. Though she did not recognize Yiruma's 'Do You', she thought the melody was beautiful and intimate but she could hear just a hint of sadness in it. _Like what Cade was feeling. _Cade might be smiling at her, chuckling, and chattering, but she could still see the barely-concealed sadness in his eyes. She wanted to know what was causing that sorrow and see if she could do anything to banish it from his eyes because after all that he had shown her, that's the least that she could do.

After dinner, they went up to the Upper Deck and sat on the two sun loungers that were left for them. Michael gave them a complimentary bottle of champagne which they were now enjoying with yet another Yiruma-penned, 'First Love' serenading them. The yacht had already turned on its surrounding underwater lights, giving an illusion that the yacht was beset in blue-green elegance. They were sharing their lives' anecdotes to each other while taking in the peaceful span of the ocean around them, broken only by the occasional loud lapping of water against the yacht's hull, and the moon that was staring at its own reflection against the smooth ripple of the ocean.

They were laughing at one of Jo's anecdotes of the crime lab when Jo turned her head to Cade's direction, just as Cade turned to hers to drop a witty remark. Only, Cade did not expect to see what he saw. The warm overhead lights that were dimmed to create an intimate atmosphere cast a soft glow on Jo's face, her tan accentuated, highlighting her ardent hazel eyes.

Cade's breath hitched in his throat, his heart beating fast. _God, I love her._

Jo blushed under the adoration his eyes were conveying, making her looked away. She was used to some men checking her out, making double-takes, shooting admiring glances her way; but it had been too long a time since a man looked at her like the way Cade did. The last man that gave her that look was Russ, when they were still all over each other; and that was years and years ago.

"Would you like to dance?" Cade's voice broke her train of thoughts.

She looked at him and nodded her yes. He stood up and held his hand for her which she took after placing the champagne flute on the side table. She smiled at Cade before he led her to the center of the Upper Deck.

Cade placed a soft kiss on Jo's left hand before placing it on his right shoulder, his right hand resting at the middle of her lower back. He took Jo's right hand and held it against his heart, letting her head rest against his cheek as they started swaying to the slow melody. Cade felt his heart beat in synch with the music, as if it was playing the inner core of his soul, as if it was emanating from the bottom of his heart. And why not, when the music that was playing was Yiruma's Love Me? Wasn't it the same thing that his heart pleaded, too? Wasn't it what his heart craved; for her to love him back? If only heartbeats could proclaim what was inside the heart, Jo must have already knew about his love for her through her palm that was resting against his chest.

As if on cue, Jo raised her head to look at Cade. After all that they've done in New York, and even in the past, she still could not believe how what they had before had evolved into much more than she could have imagined. She had seen the admiration, the attraction, but she also knew that something stronger had been stirred deep inside Cade. She questioned herself if she could love Cade, soon. She was attracted to him, yes. _But could I love him, even when…_ Jo pushed that thought away, knowing it would only traverse to the familiar path that was Mac.

Jo raised her head more, trying to close the gap between their faces. She wanted Cade to kiss her melancholy away, make her feel loved, chase away the emptiness Mac had left her with. Cade understood what she was trying to do and moved closer to her. He tilted his head to her left while slowly leaning in to touch her lips with his. When his lips finally grazed over hers, he felt her left hand slid down to encircle his waist. He leaned deeper and captured her upper lip between his lips, his own arms cradling her against him.

Jo's eyes fluttered shut when she felt Cade's warm breath against her cheek, and felt his lips slowly snuggling hers. As her right palm was still lingering on his chest, she could feel the pounding of his heart, as if caressing her hand with its beats. Jo's heart started mimicking Cade's heartbeats; although he could not completely fill the emptiness in her heart, he could at least banish the loneliness from it, give her comfort and warmth. She felt weak on her knees when he gently sucked on her bottom lip, making her let out a ragged breath when he released her. Jo placed a tender kiss on the corner of his mouth before he captured again her lips and she kissed him back, enveloping his upper lip inside her mouth, gently tugging at it before nibbling on his lower lip. When she pulled away a bit to take a breath, he lightly grazed his lips against hers before pulling away himself.

Cade leaned his forehead against hers, and gazed intently in her eyes. He could feel her eyes drawing him in again, and its making him feel a little dizzy as if they really were drowning him into her. In this unguarded moment, only the truth could find its way out.

"I love you" Cade whispered to her.

Jo's heart pummeled at her chest. She felt paralyzed, and her hands went cold as if all blood was drained from her.

Cade felt her froze for a moment and felt his heart plummeted to the ground. He did not mean to tell her now, but he was not able to stop himself. It just came out of his mouth and he could not take it back.

Jo pulled away a little and looked into his eyes. She tried to open her mouth to say something but Cade's finger immediately flew to her lips, stopping her from saying anything.

"You don't have to say anything, Jo. I… I just want to let you know… that." Pain was evident in Cade's low voice, and he was certain that the same emotion would be seen in his eyes. To avoid letting Jo see the pain through his eyes, he pulled her against him and buried his face to her hair. He did not want Jo to say something she did not mean just because she wanted to take his pain away.

Jo felt tears pricking her eyes. She wanted so much to accept Cade in her heart but it would not be fair to him. Her heart still belonged to Mac.

Cade heard a faint sob from Jo and gently hushed her, his right hand cradling her head.

"Jo, please don't cry." he whispered into her ear, "I understand."

Jo could not stop her tears from coursing down her cheeks. She had only realized how painful it was to want to be with someone so desperately but would not do it for the wrong reason. She liked Cade immensely, and what she told Ellie was true; she's infatuated with him. And after all that they had shared together this past month, she could only feel intense ardor towards him. After all, what woman would not feel the way she was feeling towards Cade when they were being treated the way he treated her? But it was still Mac whom she loved.

Jo felt Cade moving again, swaying both of them to the melody of another song that came on. Yiruma's 'Remember' floated through the yacht, embracing the two of them; two hearts that were both suffering because both intensely loved a person who could not love them back. They could only wish for the persons they loved so much to remember that once in their lives, they came and loved them with all their hearts, without asking anything in return.

* * *

Cade had already parked the car in the hotel's parking garage but Jo did not even move an inch. Cade glanced at her but could not see her face as she was looking at something through the passenger's window. Cade heaved a sigh. This is why he did not want to tell her how he felt about her, especially after knowing about Mac. He did not want for things between them to be awkward.

"Jo, I'm really sorry for saying… what I said. I had no intention of telling you tonight. I just…" Cade stopped when Jo whipped her head around and faced him, red circles around her eyes still evident.

"Cade, please stop apologizing. I don't suppose you regret telling me the truth, right?" Jo said calmly, a little too calmly.

Her calm made Cade anxious. _Something was up._

"I was just thinking… yesterday… at the Lantern Bay Park" Jo began,

Cade felt like the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He faced ahead, bracing himself for what Jo would say next.

"When you were talking with Michael Weinberger, Ellie and I were talking at the picnic table." Jo hesitated a little "from the time you left us 'til when I found you leaning against that tree" Jo took a deep breath "did you hear us, Cade? Did you hear what we were talking about?" she finally finished, her eyes trained at him, scanning his face for any reaction that might tell her what he was thinking.

Cade was careful not to show any emotion because he knew that Jo was examining him closely. He pondered for a while whether to admit it or not. He tried to weigh Jo's words when she asked him, trying to gauge if she had already known about his knowledge and was just trying to give him a chance to tell her the truth.

Jo watched as Cade pondered what to tell her. Her gut told her that he had heard them. And though Mac would always tell them that they should not rely on gut feel alone, if the change in his disposition was to be based upon; the time when he started to change, and his look when she found him yesterday after the talk with Ellie, and most importantly, the time it took him to think about what to say to her now, then her gut feel was also backed by these proofs. He had heard them.

After what seemed like forever to Jo, Cade finally cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Yes, Jo. I heard you." he said simply. There was no point in lying now. He knew he was already guilty in her eyes by this time. As an FBI agent himself, hesitation in answering a simple question only implied two things: the person in question was guilty, or he was protecting somebody else.

Though she already knew the answer even before it came out of his mouth, she had not prepared what to tell him.

"Then, why?" Jo could only mutter.

Cade's forehead formed a crease, not understanding what she meant.

"Why what?"

"Why… why everything?"

Cade did not know what she was trying to ask him but he knew what the answer to her 'why' was.

"Because of what I told you on the yacht." he was scared of repeating it to her for fear that it would aggravate their situation right now.

Jo felt the pain coursing through her veins. She did not want to hurt Cade. She had decided before that she would try to find out what was causing the sadness in his eyes and she would do something to banish it. But what could she do now, when the cause of his sorrow was her?

"Jo, this past month, until this very second, was the happiest of my life." Cade told her, as if reading her mind. "Remember what I told you yesterday at the Lantern Bay?" Cade scooped up Jo's hands and brought them against his lips "I told you not to worry about me. I'll be fine."

Jo remembered those words, alright. She had already felt something odd about it when he said it to her yesterday. She was right when she thought there was something more about that statement.

"Let's spend this last week together, with Ellie. Then… when you go back to New York, and you would not want anything to do with me, I'll understand…"

Jo looked up at him upon hearing his words.

"…just don't cut this vacation short. Don't go back yet. Spend these last six days with me." Cade felt like he was at the end of his rope.

"I did not say that, Cade. And nothing would change even when we go back to New York." Jo said, her eyes wide, not quite believing what Cade thought she would do. "If that's okay with you, that is." she added, taking his feelings into consideration. "I… I want to move on with my life, Cade. I don't know how much you had heard, but I want to tell you that that's what I told Ellie yesterday. I want to move on and get over him, because there was nothing there for me." Jo's eyes were moist with unshed tears and she could not stop her lips from quivering; telling it to another person, besides her daughter, made it much too painful.

Cade stared at her for a moment, afraid that he might be reading everything that she said, wrong.

"I'd love that, Jo." he finally said when he realized what she was saying. "Thank you."

Jo pulled her right hand free from his grasp to reach up and touch his face. "Thank you for loving me Cade, even when you knew about him."

Jo leaned in and kissed Cade a second too long, before they both went up, hand in hand, to their own rooms.

* * *

**All music 'played' during Jo and Cade's yacht date,**** except for Midsummer Night which was Brian Crain's,** are Yiruma's. I just love their music, thought it would suit the scenes on this chapter. Thank you everybody! Don't forget the reviews/comments. :)


	13. Chapter 13

_**From Chapter 12**_

_Jo pulled her right hand free from his grasp to reach up and touch his face. "Thank you for loving me Cade, even when you knew about him." _

_Jo leaned in and kissed Cade a second too long, before they both went up, hand in hand, to their own rooms._

**Chapter 13**

"Lindsay" Mac called out when Lindsay passed by his office.

Lindsay stepped inside Mac's office when she heard her boss calling her.

"Is there a problem?" Mac asked, observing her facial expression.

"Remember the guy I told you about? The one who bumped into me?"

Mac nodded, his brows creased.

"I saw him again this morning. He was delivering baked goods to the café near Central Park."

"I told you, he was just someone who you used to bump into on your way here." Mac said, motioning with his hand.

"Yeah, but I still have a bad feeling about this person." Lindsay said, trying to pinpoint the cause of this suspicion.

"Have you talked to Danny about this, yet?"

Lindsay nodded "Yeah, he also thought I was just over thinking things."

"See? Listen to him and stop worrying, okay?"

Lindsay sighed, before nodding her head at Mac. She was still unable to shake that nagging voice inside her head telling her that something was not right but she had no proof to back it up so she just nodded and agreed with what Mac said… for now.

* * *

He felt movements beside him, and then heard a soft thud. It was followed by a hushed cursing before a series of movements started happening around him. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to read the glaring, red, digital numbers on the clock. 2:45. His eyes shot to the window across from him and saw that it was still dark. _It's 2:45 in the morning, then. _He shifted his position very carefully to locate where the movements were originating. He saw the shadow first, before he finally saw the black figure standing near the door of his room.

"Jo, what are you doing?" he said in a sleepy voice.

Jo yelped at the sound of his voice. She turned around to look at Cade who was lying on his side, looking at her through sleepy eyes.

"You scared me. Did I wake you up?" she said, walking over to the bed where Cade was lying.

The hotel they were staying at threw a party last night in celebration of their 20 years in business and all of their guests were invited to join them. Booze was flowing, food was endless, and the music encompassed all era, and genre. Ellie partied with Jo and Cade at first then went back to their room when she felt like her body was already about to collapse due to tiredness. She went surfing that morning and played beach volleyball with Cade in the afternoon, before going in for a swim with her mother. It was their last Wednesday here before they go back to New York on Friday night, and she wanted to do as much activity as she could before they go back home.

"I heard movements around me, I thought you were trying to murder me or something" Cade joked, lifting his head from the pillow to prop it on his arm. "You're leaving?" he asked when he noticed Jo was already dressed.

When Ellie left, Jo and Cade danced to music after music played by the DJ, enjoying the party as much as the other hundred people in the room. The appointed dance floor eventually got too small as the night progressed, and with the room being already crowded at this time, Cade and Jo found themselves pushed at the far corner of the room, dancing to a fast beat, the volume of which was turned way too high.

Jo's arms were around Cade's neck and his were around her waist. They were smiling and laughing at each other's moves, when suddenly, while they were staring at each other's eyes, Jo tightened her arms around Cade's neck, pulling him closer to her until her nose was almost touching his, and whispered "make love to me".

Cade sucked in a breath when the words left Jo's mouth. His eyes widened at her, doubting if he heard her right over the loud music. But when he saw Jo's sly, teasing smile, and the fire that was burning bright in her eyes, he knew he heard her right and he did not have to be told twice. Her desire might be the effect of the music or the adrenaline, or even the alcohol making things get a little too hot, but he did not dare find out anymore. He had been fighting the urge every time it would made him feel its presence since they came here, and now that it was her who was willing to act on it, he was more than ready to finally give in.

When her words had finally embedded themselves in his mind, they hastily left the party and went back to Cade's room. The act itself was anything but hasty, though. Cade took his sweet time in giving attention to each and every inch of Jo's body, his kisses leaving hot breath on its trails, making Jo crave for more. All of the things that Cade did to her were the ultimate embodiment of what she asked from him: he really _made love _to her. He waited very patiently until he was gifted with the very cry that he ached for, before he finally let himself bask in the consummation of his love for her.

"Ellie might wonder where I've gone to." Jo said placing a kiss on Cade's lips, before sitting on the bed beside him.

"She knew you're with me, she won't look for you." Cade said gently caressing her arm with his free hand. "You can send her a text message and tell her that you're with me." He suggested, trying to make Jo stay.

Jo thought for a second. Cade was right, Ellie knew she was with him and she would have probably called her already if she still had not thought of the possibility that she was staying with Cade. She felt Cade lazily tracing circles over her arm, in such a way that his fingers were barely touching her, sending tingles all over her body.

"Stay?" Cade murmured in his deep, sleep-laden voice, looking up at her.

Jo hesitated just a tiny bit before she smiled at him.

"Oh, alright, I'll stay. Just let me send a text to Ellie, first." She said, taking her phone out of her bag.

"Scoot over" Jo said a moment later, when she had already sent the text to Ellie.

Cade smiled at her before moving to give her room on the bed. "You're quite bossy, you know that?" he teased her.

Jo lay down beside Cade and looked up at him "Yeah, as I was told so many times in the past." She said smiling.

Cade leaned down and kissed her before he lay down himself. He draped his left arm over Jo's waist and pulled her closer to him before placing a wet kiss on her nape, nuzzling his nose into that skin where her shoulder and neck met. Jo moaned softly when she felt the cool air on where Cade left the kiss on her nape. He thought of the day when they were on a Jet Ski and he was enthralled on how sexily Jo's nape curved onto her shoulders. He now thought of how sensual it was to see the fine hairs on her nape standing up and knew that it was the mixture of air and his kiss that made that happen.

Jo felt herself mold into Cade's arms as they both try to catch some more sleep. _This felt good_ was the last thought in her mind before sleep finally came over her.

* * *

She felt eyes watching her, and moved her right arm as she grasped at consciousness, willing herself to wake up. She felt a warm body next to her and realized another arm was draped over her right arm, and opened her eyes. She smiled at Cade when she saw him looking at her.

"Good morning, baby." Cade greeted her "slept well?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

Jo nodded her head at him before frowning a little when something caught her attention.

"Baby?" she croaked.

Cade smiled at her before answering her question. "I love watching you sleep, you look so peaceful, like a baby, and cradling you like this is like cradling a baby in my arms." Cade had been awake for more than half an hour now. He gently moved to get out of bed but when he was about to release himself from Jo's arm that had snaked itself to his waist, he heard Jo's soft moan of protest, her arm gripping him tighter. He sat back on the bed instead and reclined his back against the large headboard. He watched her as she slept, and felt the corners of his mouth tugging ever so slightly upward meaning to break into a smile, his heart thumping against his ribcage, at the sight of her serene face.

Jo grinned at him. She felt good when he cuddled her. His arms made her feel safe, and not alone, something she had not felt for a long while. Since her divorce with Russ, she had been the protective one; sheltering her children from harm, ready to defend them shall the need arise. She was even the go-to of the people in the crime lab, and she lovingly held her arms open to them each and every time. It felt good that she was the one being protected right now, for a change.

She snuggled closer to Cade, letting her head rest on his chest, listening to the beats of his heart. The calm thudding, and the rising and falling of his chest were threatening to lull her to sleep again. She was almost close to dreamland again, when she suddenly thought of Ellie and tried to sit up. "Ellie" she said while trying to untangle herself from Cade's arms.

"It's okay, Jo. She sent me a text a few minutes ago." Cade reached for his phone on the nightstand and opened the message from Ellie to show Jo. "She said she received the text you sent her at dawn, and told me not to wake you up. She said she's just going to lounge in your room, her muscles are still sore from all the activities she did yesterday."

Jo took Cade's phone and read the message from Ellie.

"Okay, but I'd need to go back to our room later, you know." Jo said after handing him back his phone. Cade just chuckled at her and did not say anything. She lay down beside him and placed her head on his chest again. When Cade's arms encircled her into an embrace again, Jo sighed, contentedly.

She did not plan what had happened last night. When they were pushed to the corner of the room, they were dancing so close to each other and his hands felt good around her. She remembered how his touch would impart warmth to her heart, how the simplest gesture of just holding her hands while they walked at the beach would give her a sense of security; not that she could not take care of herself, but sometimes she would find herself searching for someone to hold on to, someone who could fight her battles while she takes the backseat when she got too tired from fighting alone. Cade's touch gave her that and much more. Last night, she felt Cade's intense desire as the music turned sexier and hotter as the night deepened, as they danced closer and closer to each other. She knew he wanted her, and she wanted him too, so when it got too much for her, she decided to voice out what both of them wanted to happen.

It had been four days since the night on the yacht. While walking hand in hand at the beach the next morning, they had decided that since they enjoyed each others' company, and they were happy with each other, it might not be a bad thing to give themselves a chance. They both knew that things would be different when Jo goes back to New York. Their relationship might change for the worse, or Jo might actually find it in her heart to love him back, either way, they both wanted to take a chance, both wanted to risk it.

* * *

Alas, the time had finally come for Jo and Ellie to go back to New York. They waited in the car with Cade, until the very last minute when they had to go inside to avoid being offloaded. Cade and Jo had been holding hands from when they sat waiting in the car, until they got near the gate, where they had to finally let go of each other.

Cade reached down to pull Jo into a tight hug, almost squeezing their bodies into one. The thought of Jo going back to New York, to Mac, made him feel scared for what might happen. He knew Jo was still in the process of healing her heart, and he knew that she was still in love with Mac. Now that she would be with him every day again, he was afraid that… Cade shut his eyes tight. _ I just have to trust her._

For days, he had been dreading for this day to come. He knew that when she boards the plane, he would have to let fate run its course. Like what he told Jo, this past month or so had been his happiest. And if the possibility of having his heart broken would be the price that he had to pay for the happiness he had experienced with Jo, then he was very much willing to gamble.

He pulled away a little and kissed Jo's head, before kissing her cheek. "I love you, Jo" he whispered to her ear. He did not care anymore if she would push him back after saying those little words, because he might not have the chance to say it again. His heart hammered in his chest when Jo pulled away from him. He prepared himself for what Jo would tell him, but to his surprise, Jo just looked at him sadly, and gently touched his face, caressing him. He held her hand in his, and kissed her palm. He looked deep into her eyes and felt them drawing him in again. He was already starting to lose himself in her gaze that he almost missed it when she said "I'm getting there."

Cade felt his heart beat faster than ever. Her words, those three words, though different from the three words that he would love to hear from her, were enough for him. He smiled at her, and tenderly traced her face with his right forefinger, committing to mind all her features, etching them in his heart. Finally, he lowered his head and let his lips glide over her lips. Then he pressed his lips a little harder against hers before alternating it with feather-like kisses, while his heart switched from missing her already to remembering those loving moments they had shared.

Jo felt her heart about to burst. For each time she would feel Cade's lips against hers, she would feel the bittersweet indication of this moment for them. She had sought the warmth he had always provided her and he was able to give it to her, while holding his hands from the car until they walked to the gate. When Cade told her he loves her, she felt him tensed. Perhaps he thought repeating it tonight might be a mistake. What he did not know though was the strong desire deep inside her to say it back to him. But she knew that she would only hurt him more if she said that, because both of them knew that it was not true. So she told him the closest thing to it because she knew that she was not lying when she told him that she's getting there.

Ellie watched as her mother and Cade said their goodbyes. She felt sad for them because she knew that both of them cared for each other, but Jo was still stuck with her feelings for Mac. And now that they were going back home, her mother would have to be with Mac again. And what about Cade, then? Ellie sighed sadly when she saw Cade gave Jo one last kiss, before they both pulled away and stared into each other's eyes. Ellie liked Cade. She can see that he really cared for Jo, that he really loved her. And Jo was so close to loving him back. If only she could persuade her mother to stay here a bit more longer, then maybe Jo could finally love him.

When Ellie saw her mother starting to walk towards her, she met her half-way and asked her to wait for her. Jo was confused at first but her heart melt when she saw what Ellie did. Ellie approached Cade and thanked him for the best vacation ever, before offering her hand to him. When Cade shook her hand, Ellie thanked him for making Jo happy for the past five weeks. She was about to return to her mother's side but stopped and went back to Cade. She hesitated a little but then decided to go ahead and gave Cade a quick hug before walking back to her mother. Cade was surprised at the gesture but he was touched when he realized that it's Ellie's way of ensuring him her appreciation. He remembered what he told Jo through video call the day he went to New York 'she's a good kid, like her mom'; she was, indeed.

Jo and Ellie finally went inside the gate, but not before Jo turned around and waved one last time at Cade.


	14. Chapter 14

_**From Chapter 13**_

_When Ellie saw her mother starting to walk towards her, she met her half-way and asked her to wait for her. Jo was confused at first but her heart melt when she saw what Ellie did. Ellie approached Cade and thanked him for the best vacation ever, before offering her hand to him. When Cade shook her hand, Ellie thanked him for making Jo happy for the past five weeks. She was about to return to her mother's side but stopped and went back to Cade. She hesitated a little but then decided to go ahead and gave Cade a quick hug before walking back to her mother. Cade was surprised at the gesture but he was touched when he realized that it's Ellie's way of ensuring him her appreciation. He remembered what he told Jo through video call the day he went to New York 'she's a good kid, like her mom'; she was, indeed._

_Jo and Ellie finally went inside the gate, but not before Jo turned around and waved one last time at Cade._

**Chapter 14**

"Hey Mac" Danny greeted his boss when he stepped into the elevator and saw him.

"Good morning Mac" Lindsay said to him, following her husband to the elevator.

"Good morning, how's Lucy?" Mac said, remembering his goddaughter.

"She's growing up fast, Mac. I could barely keep up with her." Lindsay exclaimed.

"Soon, she'd be wearing bulletproof vest and computers would be banned in our home, most especially mobile phones." Danny said, looking at Lindsay.

Mac could only laugh at his remarks. He knew Danny was just protecting Lucy. After all, he had seen too much of the society that it would be difficult not to be overprotective sometimes.

"No boys either, whether playmates or otherwise." Danny said as they stepped out of the elevator to the crime lab, Lindsay close behind.

"Won't it be sad? Nobody to experiment upon?"

Danny and Lindsay turned their heads around and Lindsay squealed when she saw who it was climbing up the stairs from the direction of the morgue.

"Jo! You're back! We missed you." Lindsay said, throwing her arms around Jo as she climbed onto the last step.

"I missed you too. I never realized how much until I got in this morning." Jo said, hugging Danny also.

"What are you doing here, this early?" Danny asked, looking at his wristwatch.

Jo was about to answer Danny when she saw Mac standing near the elevator, looking at her.

Mac heard Jo's voice first before he saw her. He was taking his phone out of his pocket when Danny stepped out of the elevator, and his hand stopped mid-air from his pocket when he heard that soothing voice he missed so much. He knew she'd be back today but did not expect her to be this early. When he finally saw her emerged from the stairs beside the elevator, he could not bring himself to move. She was perfectly tanned, and her cheeks had natural glow on them. _No makeup today. Her tan and the glow on her cheeks were enough…_

Jo nodded at Mac. "Good morning" she said and turned her head around to face Danny and Lindsay again. He heard her greeted him but as he opened his mouth to greet her back, her attention was already back at Danny and Lindsay.

"I got used to waking up early for all those water activities we did at Dana Point." She said, beaming widely.

"What activities would make Jo Danville wake up early?" Danny teased her.

"Well, they were actually Cade's ideas. We went whale and dolphin watching, then there's this one morning when we chased the sunrise on a Jet Ski." Jo chuckled, remembering those beautiful memories. "Of course, since I had to wake up at 5:30AM, you could imagine how grumpy I was, and Cade was trying to cheer me up but when I saw the sun starting to rise from the horizon, he did not have to say anything more, because it was just… so magical." Jo narrated as if she was still on that Jet Ski, staring at the horizon.

"Sounds so ethereal." Lindsay said "Cade, huh?" she teased, grinning widely at Jo's dreamy expression.

Jo did not say anything and just smiled back at Lindsay.

"Did you take pictures? Can I see them?" Lindsay asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I brought my SD card with me. It's in my bag." Jo said already walking to their office, could not wait to get out of Mac's piercing gaze.

"Hey, I wanna see too." Danny said, scurrying to keep up with the two lady CSIs. He turned his head around to Mac "Come on Mac, get some ideas for the 1st anniversary gift" he grinned at him.

Mac was relieved when Danny asked him to join them. He wanted to see what those pictures contained since he heard Jo said Cade's name. But he thought it would be awkward to go with them when he was not even invited by Jo.

Jo was already accessing the SD card on her desktop when Mac entered her office. Lindsay was standing behind Jo, Danny, on his wife's right side, and Mac stood just a step behind Danny.

Mac sucked in a breath, involuntarily when he saw the picture of Jo on her first day at the beach in Santa Monica. It might be the blue-green dress she had on, but he could not be sure, he just thought she was exceptionally beautiful in that picture. The next picture that came on the screen was Jo and Cade's picture at the beach, the one Cade took by extending his arm in front of them. Nobody could see it, but Mac's forehead was starting to crease.

When the picture of Ellie and Jo playing in the water flashed on the screen, he was touched to see the beautiful bond they have. But he was forced to swallow to a dry throat when he took in the details of the picture. He could not take his eyes off Jo in her swimsuit. After a while though, Mac felt himself frowning more and more. The pictures only proved that Cade was really with them the whole time. He's in almost every picture there was, and he supposed it was him who took the pictures of Jo and Ellie at the beach.

"Then when she returned the camera to me and I said thanks, she said 'you have a beautiful family'" Mac heard Jo said, while Lindsay laughed and Danny chuckled. _What family?_ He was still engrossed with his thoughts about Cade being with them the whole time he did not even noticed when the picture on her computer changed to the one showing the three of them aboard a boat, and he did not also hear the beginning of the story that Jo was telling, animatedly. _A month or so, and now he's family. Right._

Jo could not help but laugh when she saw that picture which prompted Lindsay to ask Jo to tell them what's funny about it. Lindsay would not let her scroll through the next picture unless she tells the story behind, so she did. What came on next on her computer monitor though caused her to stop laughing. She just stared at the screen, trying to think of when and how the image was taken. When she clicked on the next picture, she felt her cheeks grew hot, even with the crime lab's air conditioner blasting cool air in their office.

"Oh my God, Jo!" Lindsay could not hold it in anymore. "That's so romantic."

Danny laughed at Lindsay's excitement, "I see you got yourself more than a vacation, huh" Danny quipped.

Jo did not say anything and just continued staring at the monitor. The screen was showing Jo and Cade, facing each other, the exquisite sunset as their backdrop, their silhouette making the image romantic and dramatic at the same time.

Mac stared at the screen, paralyzed once again. He felt a little light-headed and realized that he was holding his breath. He tried to breathe normally but it was starting to prove to be difficult. He felt like his heart was palpitating and about to stop beating any minute now.

When Jo clicked on the next picture, her heart stopped beating, or at least that's how she felt. She was now staring at her picture with Cade while they were about to kiss. When she clicked again, she realized it was a continuous shot from when Cade leaned in until their lips met. Jo felt beads of sweat starting to form on her forehead. She was not prepared to show these pictures to her co-workers, not because of other reason but because she was not even aware that these existed.

"Oh, Ellie" Jo could only mutter when she realized what might had happened. She could not ignore feeling the fluttering of her heart, though when she saw how sweet they looked together in those shots. She was smiling at the memory, when suddenly she thought of how she felt when Cade kissed her and what she did to numb the void she felt that night in her heart. She subtly shook her head, not wanting for anyone to notice so no one would ask questions anymore.

"Jo, those were really beautiful. I'm so happy for you." Lindsay exclaimed loudly.

Lindsay's loud voice shook Mac to reality. He had been staring at the screen as if his eyes were glued to the pictures, even though all he wanted to do was leave. He wanted to go back to his office and just start working on a case, any case that needed solving. He did not know what he was feeling exactly, just that he thought it was not right for him to just stand there and look on. But his feet were rooted to the spot, preventing him to even lift his foot and step away.

Finally, the screen flashed the last picture of Jo and Cade, together. It was the night before they left for the yacht, which Ellie insisted to have a picture of before they left the hotel room.

"Jo, it was lovely! Good thing you enjoyed your vacation. And, you got yourself a boyfriend." Lindsay teased Jo, making her blush. "I must say, you two looked good together." She said pointing at the last picture on the screen.

Mac saw Jo's face turn a deep shade of red. He scowled at what he was witnessing and huffed.

Danny heard him huff behind him and turned to look at Mac. When Mac saw Danny looking at him, he immediately cleared his throat and said "Okay, now let's all go back to work, try to solve some of those cases." He then turned on his heel and walked back to his office.

Jo and Lindsay exchanged glances before shaking their heads.

"Back to work, guys." Jo said, closing the album and ejecting the SD card.

* * *

Mac went in to his office and slumped down to his chair. His annoyance was very visible.

He took a folder from his desk and held it in his hand. He read the first paragraph but could not understand what he was reading, so he read it again but closed the folder and put it back down to his desk when all that he could see were the words but his mind could not register what they were all about. He leaned back to his chair, shutting his eyes for a second. He pinched the bridge of his nose before heaving a sigh. He opened his eyes and blankly stared at his computer monitor, a deep-set frown on his forehead.

_I suspended her because I wanted her to learn a lesson out of it. But what did she do? She went to a vacation with that FBI agent, and enjoyed herself, not even reflecting about the reason why she was suspended. And what's with all those pictures?! They're now already at the creating-and-saving-memories stage?_

He was still annoyed at how this morning's events had turned out, when he heard Adam's very loud cheer outside. He rolled his eyes when he heard Lindsay say Cade's name and knew what that was all about. He heard another round of loud laughter and stood up from his desk about to tell them off, when he heard her voice.

"Oh, stop it, you guys. You've been teasing me since I got back." Jo's Southern accent was like a lullaby to Mac; it calms him down. He sat back down to his chair and listened as the hushed teasing continued, and waited for Jo's chuckle to override the chatter from the team. Mac slowly let out a sigh. The lab had gotten too quite when Jo was not around, and he noticed the lack of buoyancy of his team. Now that she's back, the lab just got livelier again, and her infectious cheery disposition would eventually stimulate the same from her coworkers.

Mac reached for the same folder he was reading earlier and started reading. He digested as much information as he could from the case file, with Jo's voice, her laughter, as his background.

* * *

_Oh, come on, Jo! You can do this! It's just Day One and you're almost ready to lose the battle. Fight, Jo! _

She was sitting at her desk, with piles of folders surrounding her. She knew Mac had already done all those urgent matters but she was still left with a lot of work to do. She eyed her desk and sighed heavily. She pushed back from the table and walked to the pantry for another refill of tea. She was already on her way back to her office when she glanced at the direction of Mac's office, its lights still burning bright. She shook her head at herself. She had done a great job of avoiding him today, starting from when she saw him this morning. She deliberately did not wait for Mac's response when she greeted him. She did not know how to act around him and thought not waiting for his response would be better. She could not help it though when Mac, everything about him, including his office was like a magnet that was pulling her eyes towards his direction. She thought of Cade and all that he had done for her.

_At least fight for Cade, Jo. _


	15. Chapter 15

_**From Chapter 14**_

_She had done a great job of avoiding him today, starting from when she saw him this morning. She deliberately did not wait for Mac's response when she greeted him. She did not know how to act around him and thought it would be for the better. She could not help it though when Mac, everything about him, including his office was like a magnet that was pulling her eyes towards his direction. She thought of Cade and all that he had done for her._

_At least fight for Cade, Jo. _

**Chapter 15**

It had been a week now since Jo got back from California. She had been avoiding Mac like a plague, and every time she felt like she was about to throw in the white towel, she would go to her office when Lindsay's not there, and call Cade. Otherwise, she would have to run to the ladies' room or to the pantry or if she could not have both places all to herself, then she would go up to the rooftop and talk to Cade there. She would talk to him even for just a short while, as if to remind herself of him. And so far, after hearing his voice, she would be strong enough to continue fighting again.

Cade knew what she was up to. The uncertainty, the edge to her voice gave her away. He knew she was fighting hard, and he appreciated what she was doing. But it still hurt him to know that what they had shared had not been enough and she had to result to these calls.

* * *

Mac had been watching Jo since she came back. It frustrated him that she won't talk to him unless it was really necessary, and nothing more, other than the minimal interaction between them would transpire in the whole day of everyday that they were together. He figured out that she might still be upset at him for the suspension. He could understand that, and he was honest enough to admit that it was wrong for him to do that to her. The suspension, which lasted for two weeks was over the top. But it's killing him watching the way she was towards him. It was almost only recently when their relationship started getting better since that night he told her off. Now they were relapsing to how they were after that night.

"Jo, Mac's asking for you." Sheldon peeked his head around the door to her office.

Jo frowned, "Did he say why?"

Sheldon shook his head at her. "Just asked me to tell you to go to his office."

Jo sighed heavily. _What have I done now?_

Jo gingerly walked into Mac's office, wondering what she could have done wrong this time. Mac was looking at his computer when Jo came in. He looked up at her and motioned at the door with his hand.

"Please close the door, Jo."

Jo's heart dropped to the floor. She kept on thinking if she had done anything at all, even the slightest thing that might have opposed Mac's working ethics, but came up with nothing.

Mac motioned to the chair in front of his desk and asked her to sit down.

"Jo, I just wanted to talk to you about something. I should have done this before you left, but…" Mac shrugged his shoulders, suddenly feeling lost for words. He could still remember that desperate feeling when he tried calling her on her mobile, intending to apologize, but he kept on getting her voicemail.

Jo just stared at him, waiting for what he would say next.

"About what you did on Michael Wilmer's case."

Jo's eyebrow started to draw together when she heard Michael's name. _Aren't we done about that case, yet?_

"I…" Mac hesitated a moment, thinking of what better way to put what he wanted to say. After a few seconds though, he decided to just go straight to the point.

"I just want to apologize to you." Mac started, looking deeply at Jo's wide eyes.

She was not expecting anything like this at all. She sat there holding her breath, wondering what had gotten into Mac for him to apologize to her.

"I was wrong, Jo. I mean, you were wrong when you decided to follow Torch, alone." Mac's expression had now turned into a mixture of anger and worry "You had no backup, no phone, no location was given… you knew how dangerous Torch was, as you were informed even before you went there."

Jo had wanted to cut him off to tell him that he had already told her that when he put her on suspension, but she decided to let him continue. It's not like he apologizes all the time, so she just sat there and listened to what he had to say.

"Do you know how worried I was when Sinclair called me and told me they could not find you?" Mac's eyes were piercing into hers, making sure that his every word would leave their marks.

"I was so worried that I'd wanted to launch a wide-scoped search and rescue operation for you, and if I could only borrow a chopper, or anything faster just to get back here, I would already have done that." Mac dropped his gaze and stared down at his hands, remembering how he felt after the phone call from Sinclair.

He sighed heavily.

"I was on that plane, on a 15-hour flight, no less, wondering what could have had happened to you. I was looking down from the plane's window thinking, somewhere in that piece of land were you. And it's killing me to be sitting up there, with nothing else to do but to wait. It was the longest flight of my life." Mac leaned back to his chair and rubbed his face with his hand.

"I could only pray for you to be safe. Do you know how difficult it was for me and how powerless I felt, to just sit and wait, knowing your life might be in danger and I could not do anything to save you because I'm almost 5,000 damn miles away from you?" Mac's face was one of frustration. He was just thankful that she was safe because he did not know if he could ever forgive himself had something bad happened to her.

Jo could not do anything else other than stare at Mac. His eyes were flashing a mixture of emotions. It reflected a mix of anger, frustration, and distress. Finally, Jo leaned forward, and placed her hands on the edge of his table.

"Mac, don't be hard on yourself. It was not your fault, even if something had happened to me." Jo said in her low, comforting voice, her sad eyes looking at him. "How could you blame yourself when it was my own decision that put me in that situation?"

"You don't understand, Jo, I was so worried about you." Jonathan Wilmer's words about how heartless those people could be, rang in his ears 'I'm afraid for her life, Detective'. Mac shook his head at that memory. It's like reliving those 20 hours, without knowing anything about Jo. It daunted him.

"I care for you so much, Jo." Mac blurted. The moment those words left his mouth, his heart pounded on his chest, his body froze entirely. His eyes quickly searched Jo's face for her reaction and saw astonishment written all over her face.

"_WE_, all cared for you so much." Mac added quickly, trying to amend what he had said "We… we are a… family, here" He stuttered, swallowing hard.

She felt a sudden, sharp pain in her chest when he said family, but grateful also that he cleared that up. Finally, Jo nodded her head and gave him a tiny smile. "I understand, Mac. It may not be the best decision I'd made, I know. I'm sorry for letting… _all_ of you worry about me. And thank you for wanting to save me."

Mac could only nod his head upon hearing her response. There was something else in her voice, but he could not be sure what. He just hoped that after this, they would be able to go back to how things were before. Mac frowned at his thought. Too many things had happened between them and he knew he had hurt her a lot of times already. Their relationship that he wanted to bring back was the one that they had before he was shot, before all the cruel things that he had said to her.

It felt so long ago.

Jo rose from her seat and said goodnight to him before she left his office. He could only stare at her retreating back hoping that tomorrow, things would get better between them.

* * *

Jo was sitting on her bed replaying her conversation with Mac in his office, earlier. Her heart had leapt when he told her that he cared so much about her, but as quickly as it came, his words hurt her right at the very next thing that he said.

Jo felt tears threatening to fall down her eyes, and blinked them back. She reclined against the headboard above her bed and closed her eyes for a second. When she felt another batch of tears threatening to escape through her eyes, she inhaled deeply and blinked a couple of times more. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and swiped her finger on the screen, unlocking it. She stared at the wallpaper until the screen dimmed, then she would swipe again her finger to unlock it. She had set as her phone's wallpaper the picture of Cade's and her silhouette against the sunset, smiling at each other.

When just looking at their picture felt inadequate, she looked at the digital clock on her phone. _It was still early for him to be already asleep,_ she thought. Jo scrolled through her phonebook to search for his number and waited.

It took him just two rings to answer her call.

"Hi, is this a good time to talk?" Jo said on the phone.

"Yes, how are you?" Cade's calm voice said.

"I'm good. And you?" Jo was trying to cover the quivering in her voice but failed.

"Jo, what's wrong?" Cade asked, alarm evident in his voice.

"Nothing" Jo forced a chuckle "I… I'm just having a hard time sleeping" she said reluctantly.

"Jo… What's wrong? What's happening?" Cade knew something was up. He just had to coax it out from her.

"Nothing, I just… missed you, that's all." She said, wiping a stray tear off her cheek. She knew it was true. She really missed him, but that was not the reason why she called.

"Jo…" He wanted her to tell him, he wanted to know what's bothering her because maybe he could do something about it.

Jo sighed. "I just want to hear your voice, Cade. I just want to talk to you."

Cade released his own breath, taking his time to cajole the truth out of Jo.

"Jo. Please tell me what's wrong." Cade already had a feeling that Mac might have something to do with what was happening to Jo, since for the past few days, it was always because of Mac that's why she was calling him. "You can tell me." He assured her.

Jo thought hard on what to tell Cade, exactly. So many things had been running in her mind and she could not decide which of those would she want to let him know, over the phone.

After a long pause, she thought she maybe should just tell him the very core of her problem.

"I…" She sniffed, "I want to _get there_." She said in a shaky voice. "I want to get there, Cade." She finally said, warm tears now rolling one after another on her cheeks.

Cade understood what she meant and it broke his heart. But in the most composed voice he could muster, Cade said "I also want you to, but Jo, you could not force it. It would come naturally." and as though an afterthought, "If it would ever come." He added softly.

Jo gripped her phone harder. "Cade…" she whispered.

"Stop thinking about it, Jo. You're pushing yourself too hard. Let nature run its course. Let things be." As much as he wanted to tell her to do everything to forget Mac, and to love him instead, he knew it was wrong. It would only make her suffer. "I'm just here, Jo. I'll always be here."

Jo shut her eyes, and nodded at his words as if he could see her. But even without saying anything, Cade felt that she understood what he had said.

"I think you should take some rest. Don't exhaust yourself. And don't rush things, Jo."

Jo sniffed again "Okay." She said, nodding her head. "Okay, Cade."

"Now go get some sleep. Spare your team from your grumpiness tomorrow morning." Cade attempted to make her smile, to lighten up her load a bit.

Jo smiled at his effort to lift up her mood.

"Is that a smile I'm hearing?" Cade asked, his own smile showing itself too. He had just proven that her smile was still infectious even over the phone.

"Yeah, you made me smile again when I needed it most. Thank you, Cade." _You always make me feel better after Mac had hurt me._ She wanted to add, but decided against it.

"No problem. Glad to be of service." He said, laughing a little. It was still like a magic to him how she could make him smile and laugh even after a painful revelation, without saying much, really.

"And I'm not kidding when I said I missed you." Jo said, stating fact. "I seriously miss you, Cade."

"I miss you too. So much. And Ellie, too." He was not kidding, either. "Now, go get some rest before you catch bad guys on the streets again tomorrow."

"Alright. Goodnight, Cade."

Cade remembered her peaceful face when she sleeps and as if a daze, said, "Goodnight, baby."

"Can you repeat that, please?" Jo said, smile on her lips. She was acting like a child and she knew that, but she could not help it. Somehow, him calling her 'baby' made her insides melt, and she loved hearing it from him. Her mind wandered to when he held her in his arms, as if protecting her, cradling her like a baby. She had been contented lying in his arms, like that. She felt safe, secure, and… loved.

Cade chuckled at her request, "Goodnight, baby." He repeated to her, smiling at the very same thought that was running inside Jo's mind.

She felt like his arms were around her again, lulling her to sleep. "Goodnight Cade." She finally said, before ending the call.

Jo slept that night, her phone beside her on the bed, and her hand over it.


	16. Chapter 16

_**From Chapter 15**_

"_Goodnight, baby." He repeated to her, smiling at the very same thought that was running inside Jo's mind._

_She felt like his arms were around her again, lulling her to sleep. "Goodnight Cade." She finally said, before ending the call. _

_Jo slept that night, her phone beside her on the bed, and her hand over it._

**Chapter 16**

"Maybe it was really an accident" Jo said to Mac.

Jo was in Mac's office, discussing the evidences that they had processed, along with the statements from the witnesses. They could not find anything that would indicate that the bus driver killed the homeless guy intentionally. The driver was about to drive home from a pub when suddenly he heard people shouting something, looking at him. When he got out of his car, he found a homeless man lying on the ground, blood pooling around his head. He had not realized that there was someone behind his car, picking up something on the road when he tried to reverse the car in order to get out of the parking space.

"Yes, nothing that would prove it wasn't" Mac agreed. After he apologized to Jo a few weeks ago, their interaction got a little bit better. She now talked to him even if it was not anything about work, but she very seldom joked with him. He thought it was a good start, though. Maybe if he could prove to her that they could bring back the kind of relationship they had lost, they would be able to get back to how they were before.

"I'll go finish the papers" Jo said as she turned to head out using the side door of his office.

She was about to grab the door handle when she heard the Uni went in.

"Detective Taylor, there's someone here looking for Detective Danville. Agent Cade Conover, FBI."

Mac's head snapped up and looked out the door, to where Cade was standing near the elevator. He then immediately turned his head to look at Jo who looked confused at first, before a grin started spreading on her face.

She then went out of his office through the front door and walked over to Cade.

Cade beamed when he saw her approaching.

"What brought you here?" she said, reaching up to hug him.

Mac stared at them from where he was sitting at his desk. He was trying to observe their body language and found it odd to note that although there was some level of intimacy between them, something was holding both of them back.

"I have a case which traced back here so I thought I would visit you before I go back to San Francisco." Cade said, smiling.

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you" Cade said. Unable to stop himself from touching her, he brushed away a lock of hair from her face. "Are you free for lunch later or dinner, maybe?"

"Lunch is good." Jo said, then beamed at him "and dinner too."

Cade could not help but chuckle. "Okay, where do we go for lunch?

"You decide. Just pick somewhere that offers pasta."

"Got it. See you later then." Cade said and leaned down to kiss Jo on her cheek.

Mac was watching everything from his office, and only looked down to the stack of papers on his desk when Cade walked towards the elevator. He was dying to know what kind of relationship they have but he obviously could not ask Jo…

Could he?

* * *

Jo entered Mac's office, folder in hand.

"Here's the report, Mac." She said, leaving the folder on his IN tray.

Mac cleared his throat, trying to muster a little courage before he opened his mouth.

"Good. So I'm about done here also… do you want to grab lunch with me? I'm craving for some buffalo burger." He said, looking hopefully at Jo. It was his attempt to bring things back to how they were before. They used to have meals together, and he missed her company.

Jo licked at her bottom lip, before biting it, causing Mac's eyes to divert from her eyes to her lips. _He's still trying to make it up to me_, she thought.

"Umm.. I'm sorry, Mac. Cade and I were already set to have lunch together, today." She said regretfully.

'_Cade and I',_ _huh?_

"No problem. Enjoy lunch." He said, debating himself whether to ask her the next question he planned to ask her. _We're supposed to be friends, too._

Jo turned to leave but stopped when she heard Mac call her name.

"It was probably not my business…" Mac hesitated, then cleared his throat "You… umm… and Cade…" He paused then looked at Jo expectantly, tapping the pen in his hand against his desk. He was hoping Jo could understand what he was meaning to ask her and answer it already without waiting for him to finish his question.

But Jo only looked at him, waiting for him to finish what he was trying to say. She knew what he wanted to ask her but as she still did not know what to tell him, she waited for him to say it, buying time for herself to figure out how to answer it.

Mac exhaled slowly, realizing Jo had no intention of paving an easy way for him.

"Are you… uhh… a couple now?" He finally asked, stopping the tapping of his pen.

Mac saw Jo hesitate before she answered him.

"Umm… not quite." She said smiling at him.

Mac frowned at her "What do you mean by 'not quite'?"

Jo shrugged at him, still smiling. "Well, we're not officially together, but… it's a little complicated, actually."

Mac's frown got deeper at her elaboration.

Jo chuckled upon seeing his baffled expression. "Oh Mac, don't bother to figure it out. It's way too complicated. Anyway, see you around, I'm running late." She said, before turning her back at him to rush to the elevator, leaving a very confused Mac in his office.

* * *

"Can't wait to see me?" Jo said playfully on the phone. She was about to go out to the streets when she heard her phone ringing and smiled when she saw it was Cade who was calling her.

Jo chuckled and said "I was held up by a case but don't worry, I'll just walk my way there, I can cut through Central Park. It would be faster that way."

She rounded the corner quickly, and did not see Danny on his way back to the crime lab.

Danny saw Jo rounded the corner and was about to go inside the crime lab building when he spotted a young man watching Jo, while talking on the phone. At first he thought he was another bystander that was charmed by Jo. He made a mental note of teasing Jo later when she gets back and was about to pass by the man when he overheard what he was saying on the phone.

"…because I heard her say on the phone. I think she was meeting with someone, you better act fast. Don't let her get to the other side anymore. And be careful, she was carrying a gun."

Danny could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He did not know what to do. His gut told him that Jo was in some kind of danger. But he could not arrest this man and interrogate him when he did not even say Jo's name. And he did not really express anything about harming Jo. He was still eyeing the man when he turned around and stopped abruptly when he saw Danny and his badge.

Danny saw panic came over the man's features and before he could think of anything else, the man started running away from him.

_Thank Heavens he decided to run. Now I can take him in for interrogation._ Danny thought as he sprinted after the man. He called in their location and the description of the man he was chasing to make sure that he would not lose him. A few more minutes of running and the man was finally caught and brought to the precinct.

Danny called Mac and told him everything, starting with what he had overheard. Mac assured him that there was nothing wrong about what he did since the man ran first after seeing Danny's badge. It took Mac only a few minutes to come down to the precinct from the crime lab. Don was already waiting for him by the interrogation room's door when he arrived, since Mac had wanted to be the one to do the grilling.

"Who were you talking with before you saw Detective Messer?" Mac asked the man sitting across from him.

"A friend." He answered defiantly.

Mac looked at the man sitting across from him and evaluated him a little. He noticed that though the man was trying to look fearless, Mac could see panic in his eyes. He knew he was hiding something, if not at all guilty.

"Don't play games with me. You were talking to someone on the phone about Detective Jo Danville and when you saw a cop standing behind you, you thought he might have overheard you so you ran. I want to know the name of your friend and what were you planning."

Mac saw the man flinched when he said Jo's name. His heart slammed in his chest when he realized it was really Jo they were talking about as he did not deny it when he said her name.

Don saw anger in Mac's face and desperation in his eyes. He stood up to open the door when he heard someone knocked. Danny was waiting outside, a folder in his hand, his face grim. Don looked from Danny's to Lindsay's grim expressions before closing the door behind him. Danny handed the folder to Don.

"Anton Burne. Long list of charges but all were petty crimes." Danny began when Don started reading the file inside. "Don, Jo's life might be in danger." He said staring straight into Don's eyes.

Don looked up at the two CSIs, his own eyes expressing fear.

"Anton Burne was a member of William Torch's bikers group. Remember him, the one who Jo trailed during the Wilmer's case?"

Don's face paled when he heard Torch's name.

"I remember now, the man I said bumped into me, who I found to be oddly familiar but could not recall where I saw him?" Lindsay said, her eyes were full of worry, fear, and disappointment. "I now remember where I saw those same features. William Torch. Don, the man who bumped into me was William Torch's brother, Jason Torch. He had been lurking around the area, hoping to bump into Jo, only he did not know Jo was on leave. And now that she's back, he's out to hunt her." Lindsay was trying to compose herself but she was having a hard time doing so. Her palms were now cold, her heart's racing, and she could not close her eyes without seeing Jason Torch's face.

Don immediately sprang into action and went back inside the interrogation room. He placed the folder in front of Mac and directed his attention at Anton.

"You were trying to help Jason Torch to exact his revenge for William Torch, weren't you? You were spying on Detective Danville for Jason Torch. What were you planning to do, huh?" Don said angrily, placing his hands on the table, looking sternly at Anton Burne.

Mac froze a second when he heard William Torch's name. He then immediately took out his phone and tried calling Jo's mobile, as he went out of the interrogation room. He was joined by Danny and Lindsay, both waiting for his orders.

Mac breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Jo's jolly voice on the other end of the line.

"Jo, where are you? Where are you heading?"

"Mac? I'm sorry; I could not understand what you're saying." Jo's voice came out garbled.

"Jo. Jo, don't go anywhere. Tell me where you are." Mac tried again.

"Mac, I can't understand you. It's very noisy here, I can't hear you." Mac could hear horns blaring in the background "I'm near Central Park now, I'll call you back in a while when I get to the other side, in the restaurant."

"Jo! Jo, wait!" Mac almost yelled on the phone but Jo had already ended the call.

Mac turned around to face Danny and Lindsay, his face showing a multitude of emotions, not one of them, calming.

"Jo's heading to Central Park; she said she would call me when she crossed…" Mac was not able to finish what he was saying because Danny registered a look of dread in his face.

"Danny, what is it?"

"Jason Torch was waiting for her at Central Park." Danny muttered, almost inaudible, his mind working triple time, trying to remember what Anton said on the phone.

"What? How did you know?" Mac asked, agitatedly.

"I remember hearing Anton say to not let her cross to the other side." Danny said, looking up at Mac.

"Damn it! Tell Don to send back ups, proceed to Central Park." Mac ordered, scurrying to the door. "And try to call Agent Cade Conover's mobile. Maybe he's near the area where Jo is, he might be able to locate her first."

Lindsay followed Mac to his Avalanche and took the passenger's seat. The moment Lindsay shut the door closed, Mac backed out of his own reserved parking at once. He floored the gas when they got on the street but he was forced to halt when heavy traffic blocked his way, just a few more blocks away from Central Park.

He reached for his phone and dialed Jo's number again.

"Jo, where are you?" He asked when Jo answered her phone.

Jo could detect the urgency on his voice and wondered if maybe he was calling to tell her to go back to the lab for a case.

"I'm at Central Park, what's the problem Mac?" Jo said, picking her way across the Heckscher Playground.

"Jo, listen. Jason Torch, William Torch's brother wants to exact revenge. He's following you."

Jo immediately stopped on her tracks and looked around her but found nobody. She jogged her way to the direction of the trees when she realized she was standing in an open area.

"What do you mean he's following me?" Jo said, her mind now in full Detective mode.

"Just stay out of the open areas. Now tell me where you are exactly." Mac said, blaring his horn, in addition to the siren on his car's roof.

"I'm at the playground, the one near the rink."

Mac slammed his hand to the steering wheel when his siren proved to be useless. "I'm on my way, Jo. Be careful."

Mac turned to Lindsay after ending the call "I'm running to the Central Park. Take the car. Tell Danny Jo's at the Heckscher Playground." Mac instructed her before running to the direction of the Central Park.


	17. Chapter 17

_**From Chapter 16**_

"_Just stay out of the open areas. Now tell me where you are exactly." Mac said, blaring his horn, in addition to the siren on his car's roof._

"_I'm at the playground, the one near the rink." _

_Mac slammed his hand to the steering wheel. "I'm on my way, Jo. Be careful."_

_Mac turned to Lindsay after ending the call "I'm running to the Central Park. Take the car. Tell Danny Jo's at the Heckscher Playground." Mac instructed her before running to the direction of the Central Park._

**Chapter 17**

Jo looked around her, trying to locate Jason Torch but she could not see him. She did not know what he looked like but no suspicious looking person was lurking near her. The playground was relatively quiet at this time save for just a handful of kids playing around.

Mac pumped his legs, ignoring the burning sensation in his chest, while trying to maneuver himself from traffic. He was already near the Central Park, only two more blocks before he reached the large greenery. _Faster, Mac, faster!_ Just a few weeks ago when he found himself reeling in the overwhelming feeling yet again, while he recounted to Jo what he had gone through when they thought she was missing. Now he was facing another probability of losing Jo and he could not let that happen, because he's now here, he was so close to her, he couldn't not be able to save her. He just could not.

Jo carefully navigated her way through the trees towards Broadway. She was about to take another turn when she heard a loud sound from behind her. She whipped her head around in time to see a branch fall down from the tree. She then saw the bullet next to it and looked up to see a man holding a gun and training it at her direction. The loud noise had disturbed the peace of the playground causing the people around them to look and try to find the source of the sound. When they saw a man holding a gun, chaos took over, with people rushing here and there, kids wailing and running to their parents.

Jo ran away from Jason Torch's line of sight and ducked behind another tree. She unclipped her gun and trained it at Jason's direction but could not get a clear shot of him. She was trying to get a clear sight of his position but could not, so she moved to the other direction, careful to navigate through the area without exposing herself too much.

Mac could see the people running away from the playground to his direction and knew that Jason Torch had already jeopardized himself. He tried to run faster, unclipping his gun while doing so. He had already reached the playground and was also using the trees as his cover when the corner of his left eye caught something moved behind one of the trees located on the higher ground. He focused his eyes in the direction of the movement but he did not see anything. He was still looking at the same spot when he heard crying coming from his right. He turned his head around to find the source of the sound and immediately felt his heart banging on his chest.

Jo heard the cry as well and looked behind her to the origin of the sound. Her breath stalled in her chest when she saw a little girl, not more than six years old standing not too far from her, in front of the swings. The girl was crying while looking around, perhaps trying to search for whoever was with her but nobody else was near them. It did not take too long before Jo decided to dash from the tree where she had positioned herself to the direction of the girl.

Mac saw Jo dashed from where she was hiding, and scooped the little girl up in her arms. She had exposed herself to Jason Torch now that there was nothing to cover her as she and the girl were both standing in an open area. Mac caught another movement from his left and did not bother to even glance at its direction. He knew what caused the movement.

"JOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"JOOOOOOO drop to the ground!" Mac shouted, running in top speed to Jo's direction, just as the unmistakable sound of gunshot echoed through the silent park. He felt like his lungs were about to burst, the pain in his chest was quickly becoming too much to bear, and he was already getting dizzy.

Jo heard Mac's blood-curdling scream and immediately dropped to the floor, taking the child with her.

Mac trained his gun up to the direction of Jason Torch when he saw Jo dropped to the lawn to avoid being shot.

"NYPD drop your gun" Mac said to Jason, "Jason Torch, drop your weapon."

When Mac saw Jason's resolute expression, he gripped the trigger tighter, ready to shoot Jason if he tried to open fire again. He saw Jason lower the gun a bit before training it again at Jo's direction and squeezed the trigger.

"JOOO!" Someone shouted from Mac's right side, in the clearing.

Mac heard the gunshot and was about to shoot Jason when he heard another gunshot from behind him. He turned around to see Jo on her feet, gun still smoking. He looked back at Jason in time to see him clutched at his right shoulder, blood quickly covering his hand.

He was about to walk to Jason's direction when Danny came to his side. A moment later, Jason was on a stretcher, his hand handcuffed to it and was loaded to the ambulance, Don and Danny following behind. Lindsay was with the little girl, cajoling her while walking towards the police mobile.

Mac turned around and saw Jo sitting on the grass. He frowned in confusion and was about to walk into her direction, but felt his heart stopped when he saw blood on her hands, Cade beside her.

Mac jogged to where Jo was sitting, his face full of pure worry.

"Jo, what happened? Where were you shot?" Mac said, dropping to his knee, his eyes scanning her body.

"Don't worry about me, I'm okay. I was just grazed by a bullet." Jo said, showing the bullet graze on her right thigh.

"Let me call another ambulance." Mac said, taking his phone out of his pocket, as Cade brought out his handkerchief and tied it around the gash.

"Oh, Mac no need for that. I can go to the hospital myself." She said trying to stand up. She was almost standing already when a sharp pain shot through her leg from her wounded thigh, making her wince in pain. Cade caught her as she teetered a bit.

"Jo, stop moving." Mac said, his voice a mix of annoyance and concern.

"I can manage, Mac. I just put too much pressure on my leg." Jo said, feigning a smile. She took another step and felt her legs wobble underneath her, making her clutch tighter at Cade's arms.

"Jo!" Mac exclaimed, admonishingly. "Can you please stop being stubborn, even for once?"

"I'm… fine, Mac, the bullet just grazed me. It could only… hurt… sometimes." Jo said trying to take another step again but her foot never touched the ground and in one swift motion, she was suddenly looking at the sky.

Cade had lifted her, and carried her in his arms. "You're too stubborn for your own good." He said looking at her. Until now, Cade was not able to say anything aside from Jo's name. He felt like everything that he did since he saw Jason Torch opened fire at Jo, he did in a daze, moving in auto-pilot, unable to hear anything else.

Jo opened her mouth to protest but stopped when Cade heaved her higher and closer to him to avoid dropping her. "Don't protest, I'm not putting you down. Now, put your arms around my neck and hold tight lest you risk having your bone broken in addition to that wound."

Jo bit her lower lip and smiled at Cade "You're quite bossy, too. I didn't realize that before." She said, encircling her arms around Cade's neck.

Cade smirked at her "You're not the only one."

Mac stared as Cade lifted Jo, surprised at the quick movement. He was more surprised though when Jo did not even protest and just put her arms around his neck. Mac huffed a breath and frowned when he heard them flirting about each other's bossiness, as if what had just happened was not anything to be worried about.

Cade and Jo both turned their heads to Mac when they heard him clear his throat.

"Agent Conover, could you please carry her to my car? I'll bring her to the hospital." Mac said, his poker face now on display, motioning to where Lindsay parked his Avalanche.

"Sure" Cade said, before looking down at Jo, smiling.

They walked towards Mac's car, with Mac walking in front of them. He opened the passenger door and Cade gently put Jo down to the seat, securing her with the seatbelt. Jo watched as Mac and Cade exchanged a few words, before shaking hands. She frowned when Mac motioned Cade to the police officer, and saw Cade ride in the back of the police mobile.

Mac heaved himself to his Avalanche and turned on the engine.

"Mac, where's Cade going? He won't be coming with us?" Jo asked, wondering what's going on.

Mac drove out of Central Park to send Jo to the hospital.

"I asked him to go to the precinct first to give his statement. He was already at the scene before the shooting happened." Mac explained, staring ahead, not even glancing at Jo.

"Oh," Jo could only utter.

* * *

Mac was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for Jo. He asked Don to come to the hospital for Jo's statement so she could go straight home after her wound was cleaned and she could rest. A few minutes later, Jo emerged from behind the swinging doors in a wheelchair. Don approached her and asked about her first, before sitting down beside her to take her statement.

Mac stood near them but did not approach her. He just wanted to look at her because for some reason, looking at her now, alive and well was very comforting for him. He was still trying to gather his emotions, trying to get a grip of himself after the ordeal.

"Detective Taylor" Mac heard someone call his name.

"Agent Conover" Mac nodded at Cade.

"How's Jo?"

"I think she's doing well." Mac said, motioning to Don. "She has to give her statement first though before she could go home."

Cade nodded at Mac, understanding protocol.

When Don walked back to where Mac and Cade were standing, he shook Cade's hand and told him he could go talk to Jo now. Don and Mac talked to each other as Cade walked towards Jo.

"Hey, how are you?" Cade asked Jo when he reached her, sitting down to the chair Don just vacated.

"I'm good, just a little gash, that's all." Jo said, smiling up at him.

Mac and Don watched both of them from where they were standing.

"They look good together." Don said, and Mac could only barely nod his head.

"Still playing brave, huh?" Cade said smiling back at Jo. Then his face suddenly turned serious. "You scared me, you know that? What the hell were you thinking when you stood up and trained your gun at that man knowing fully-well that he wanted to kill you?" He asked her, frowning.

Jo touched Cade's arm, still smiling. "From where he was standing, I know he could not shoot me dead. He had already tried when I was so much nearer to him, but he had only managed to hit a tree branch. He's an amateur; I know he could not kill me."

"Yeah, he could not kill you, but look at that wound in your thigh." Cade said sarcastically, shaking his head.

Jo smirked at him. "He had only grazed me. You're too worrisome."

Cade gazed at her eyes before pulling her close to him and placed a firm kiss on her temple. "Of course. If it concerns you, how could I not?" He whispered, becoming aware of his rushing heartbeat as the event started playing in his mind again.

Jo could not help but smile at Cade's affection. Just a few weeks ago, she had told him that she missed him and now she was being enveloped again in his warm, protective arms that had now gotten very familiar to her.

Mac could not do anything else but stare at the scene unfolding right before his very eyes. He narrowed his eyes at them when he saw Cade pulled Jo closer to him. When it was clear to him what Cade would do next, he pulled on the sleeve of his suit and looked down at his wristwatch just as Cade's lips pressed into Jo's temple.

"Come on; let's get you home so you can rest." Cade said, releasing her.

"Okay" Jo said trying to stand up.

Cade saw what she was doing and immediately clutched at her arms to help her. "Maybe you should just let me push you to the car."

"No. I can walk, it's just a bit painful but I can walk." Jo had managed to take five steps before she stopped walking. "Let's rest for a while." She said looking up at Cade, to which Cade pursed his lips and shook his head at her.

Jo took another few steps when she saw Don and Mac still standing there, looking at her.

"Hey, thanks guys for trying to save me again." Jo said, smiling at both of them. "Mac, I heard you ran a marathon to get to me. Thanks." She said, placing her hand on Mac's shoulder.

Mac smiled his boyish, shy smile, feeling his face growing warm. "No problem." He said, clueless as what else to say. He was surprised that she touched him, something that she had not done in a long time. "Do you need a ride? I can drive you home. And don't bother to come to work tomorrow. I'm giving you two days off."

"Oh no, thank you but I'm going to work tomorrow. I'd have to do desk jobs only though. But I'm still coming."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I don't want to mope around the house so I'm coming to work. And I can move, just a bit slow, but I can still move." She said smiling, assuring Mac.

"As always, not one to be told. Okay, let's go, I'll drive you home." Mac said turning towards the doors.

"Detective Taylor, thank you for your offer but I have a car with me, I could drive her home." Cade said, looking at Mac. Jo heard a little defensiveness on his tone and felt her heart ache.

"Oh, okay. Yeah." Mac said before facing Don. "Let's go back to the precinct then."

Don nodded at him and they all turned around towards Exit when a doctor called out to them.

"Detective Danville"

They all looked back at the doctor, who was wearing an admonishing look on her face.

"Detective Danville, I think I specifically told you not to walk yet, at least the rest of the day, so your wound won't bleed, and borrowing your words, hurt like hell, right?" The doctor said when she reached them.

"Oh, yeah…" Jo chuckled a bit "I… uh… forgot…but you see, I can ummm… walk without applying too much pressure on this leg… so…" Jo was trying to negotiate with the doctor but she was fast losing the deal.

"No. You can't." The doctor said, strictly.

"But I don't want to use a wheelchair." Jo's stubbornness was starting to rear its ugly head again.

"Doctor, can I just lift her up and carry her instead? I promise you I won't let her walk for the rest of the day." Cade offered as a solution to the doctor, trying hard not to let his smile show.

The doctor thought for a moment before nodding her head at Cade.

"Okay, you can do that just don't let her walk yet. Walking would put pressure on the wound and it might bleed again. It would also," at this moment the doctor looked Jo in the eye, "_hurt like hell." _The doctor turned her attention back at Cade, "You can do anything, as long as no pressure would be applied on her wounded thigh." The doctor advised before walking away from them.

Jo smiled at Cade sheepishly when she saw him looking at her with piercing eyes.

"I forgot she told me that" She finally said to him, displaying her most charming smile.

Cade sighed heavily before shaking his head. "You never learn."

Jo was about to retort but never had the chance to when she felt Cade lifted her up and carried her in his arms once again.

Mac rolled his eyes, not quite believing what he was witnessing. _And I thought you're not together?!_

"There's no need for you to carry me, I can walk. Put me down, Cade." Jo started to protest.

Cade looked at her and walked back to where they were sitting a while ago, and gently put her down on the wheelchair. Cade could see the irritation on Jo's face and chuckled at it.

"Yeah, very funny." Jo said sarcastically.

The truth is, Cade was feeling intimidated. He knew Mac was watching them, and though he did not intend to put on a show, it surely looked like that to Mac. Cade could do almost anything to Jo like carrying her like that, teasing her, and flirting with her while Mac had to be professional towards Jo. He could be a friend, but as of now, he was still working on the friendship to return. But Cade knew that Mac had her heart.

Cade pushed the wheelchair to his car, and opened the passenger door. Mac held on the wheelchair when Cade carried Jo out of it and gently put her down on the seat.

They went on their way as Mac and Don walked towards their cars to go back to the precinct.

* * *

"Let me clarify to you that I'm only doing this to avoid any more discussion. You won't sit on a wheelchair, nor use a crutch, and the doctor won't let you walk. So since you can't fly either, and I wouldn't want to see you crawl, I offered to carry you, which just moments ago you refused also. But when we reach your place, you won't be doing any moving around, understand that?" Cade said when they were in the car, driving towards Jo's place.

"And here I am, thinking you loved carrying me around in your arms." Jo teased playfully.

Cade chuckled at her. "Oh believe me, I love doing that, but since I have to go back to San Francisco tomorrow, you would have to be on your own. So you better heed the doctor's advice and not move around today so you could be well enough to go to work tomorrow without needing me to carry you around the crime lab." He said, touching Jo's cheek with the back of his hand. "Okay?"

Jo sighed and pressed her cheek into Cade's hand. "Okay. What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"At noon. I could still drive you to the crime lab in the morning."

"Were you checked-in in a hotel?"

"Yup. It's okay; I'm not grumpy in the morning." Cade teased her.

"Uh huh, you love teasing me, don't you?" Jo said, smiling at him.

"A little." Cade shrugged, grinning.

"I was asking about the hotel because I wanted to ask you if you'd like to stay at home tonight." Jo said shaking her head playfully at him.

"Oh, okay! No problem with that." Cade grinned even more widely.

Jo laughed at his expression. "Now, before you get any ideas, I got to remind you what the doctor said. I cannot move much, otherwise my wound would hurt." She said, looking at him impishly.

"No, the doctor said _I_ can do anything as long as no pressure would be applied on your wound." Cade said, beaming mischievously at her, repeating the doctor's words, verbatim.

"Uh huh, let's see about that." Jo smirked at Cade.

They were both silent for a while when Cade remembered something and glanced at her.

"Jo, why did you shoot him only in the shoulder?" he asked, referring to Jason Torch.

Jo heaved a sigh. "I think it's because I know that he was acting on his emotion. He wanted to seek revenge for his brother's capture. And I don't think he could shoot me anymore with that wound."

Cade nodded.

"How did you know what was happening, by the way?" Jo asked when the thought crossed her mind.

"Danny called me. He said Mac asked him to tell me what's happening because I might be nearer to you so I could get to you first. He said Mac tried to call you but you could not hear him. Problem is I did not know which path you took so I tried to look for you without knowing where you were. Then a few minutes later, Danny called me again and told me where you were exactly." Cade narrated, remembering the events that shook him to the core.

Cade was already at the restaurant, perusing the menu while he waited for Jo when his phone rang. When Danny introduced himself, his heart started beating fast already. After the conversation, he racked his brain to think of which path could Jo had taken on her way to the restaurant. In the end, he ran around West Drive, through Heckscher Fields until he finally reached the Playground after Danny told him her location, where he saw Jason Torch took a shot at Jo.

He exclaimed her name when he heard the gunshot. He was not yet aware that Jo was shot but had already started running to her direction. When he got near her, he saw the blood that was starting to seep into her trouser. His heart hammered in his chest so hard, he thought it would explode.

Jo was not even aware that she was hit. She only felt the burning sensation on her thigh when Jason Torch had already fallen down to the ground, and she saw blood oozing out of his shoulder. That was when she noticed Cade kneeling beside her, calling her name. She looked down and saw her own blood soaking through her trousers and her hand grasped at the wound but realized that she was only grazed by the bullet. She sat down on the grass when she felt the burning sensation intensified, trying to examine the gash on her thigh.

Cade parked his car to where Jo used to park hers since she had left her car at the crime lab before everything that had happened. He walked around the car to carry Jo in his arms again towards the bank of elevators.


	18. Chapter 18

_**I'm back! First of all, I want to thank you guys for reading, and leaving me reviews and PMs in the past few days. My apologies for not being able to reply to you but I've read each one of them and I'm really really thankful for them. To the guest reviewers, and aneezilda, thank you also! :D**_

* * *

_**From Chapter 17**_

_Cade parked his car to where Jo used to park hers since she had left her car at the crime lab before everything that had happened. He walked around the car to carry Jo in his arms again towards the bank of elevators._

**Chapter 18**

Mac was in his office, rounding up the report on Jason Torch's file. He was still being haunted by Jason Torch's expression when he trained his gun at Jo. The resolute, absolute peace on his expression in his intention to kill Jo was appalling. There was so much hatred in his eyes. As an amateur, he was not even threatened by the fact that two cops were ready to fire at him if he made the wrong move.

When he heard the sound of gunshot, he felt paralyzed with fear. He wanted to look behind him but was too scared to do so for fear of what he might see. He was about to pull the trigger on Jason Torch when he heard another gunshot from behind him and he was forced to look at the source. He was relieved to see that the sound came from Jo's gun, and he was also thankful to see her standing up. Mac thought at first that Jason was already dead but when he realized that he was clutching at his shoulder, he could only shake his head at Jo's decision.

Don had asked him the same question earlier. He also could not understand why Jo did not shot Jason dead when she could. Mac told him what he thought happened. Jo knew that Jason Torch was exacting revenge for his brother. She also knew why Jason would do such a thing as she was present when William was being interrogated. Jo knew how Jason was the complete opposite of William thus his decision to kill Jo was really just a repercussion of everything that had happened to William. Jo wanted to give Jason a chance at life, for him to realize that William did the wrong thing and he should pay for it. That the world had not closed its doors to Jason, that amid the wrong things that had been happening around him, there's still something positive to look forward to, there's still good in the world. Jo also knew that this event would clear up Jason's mind; because he was a good person that had made the wrong decision. He was a victim of circumstances.

Jason Torch had launched his own 'investigation' of his brother's arrest and found out about a brunette, slender woman, about 5'5 feet tall, that had been sitting in a car a couple of days before William was arrested. A neighbor told him where the woman's car was parked and he asked around if anybody else had seen her. The convenience store owner had confirmed that he saw a woman of the same description, too and had told him more of her facial features since he had the chance to have a good look at her when she paid for her food.

It did not take long for Jason Torch to know who she was. He asked Anton to find out for him who's the woman who had been following his brother and since William was arrested by the NYPD, that's where they started their work. Anton went into the precinct, asking for a woman of that description, claiming that she had offered him her assistance before but he lost her business card and cannot remember her name. The cop told him to proceed to the crime lab and that's where he found out Jo's name. He was told that she was not at the crime lab but the front desk officer did not know when she would be back. They ended up lurking in the area waiting for Jo, until she finally came back for work.

They had to wait for a perfect opportunity to finally act on their plan. Jason did not care if he would be caught or killed. All that mattered to him was to make that revenge. They plotted, and waited until Jo came out of the crime lab telling someone on the phone where she would go, giving Jason an advantage on the situation. He had not wanted to open fire in the playground since there were kids around but when he saw Jo suddenly tensed up, went to hide into the trees and scanned the area around her, while talking to someone on the phone, Jason Torch knew that she was already being fed with information about his plan. He could not afford to lose more time so he decided to kill her right there and then. When Mac stood between him and Jo, he was intimidated at first, but then he thought of how his brother's children were wailing when they were told of what happened to their father. Now, their future would be very far from how they envisioned it. Nobody even knew what would happen to them in foster care. That's when Jason Torch decided to just shoot at Jo, not minding if she would be shot at or Mac's bullet would reach him first. When Jo stood up and aimed her gun at him, he did not even bother to hide. He thought his life was all messed up already; it would not even matter if he would be killed. After everything that had happened and after knowing that his brother did what he had done because and for him, he thought he might as well be dead for causing his brother so much pain and hardships.

Mac looked at his wristwatch and reached for his mobile phone.

"Mac, what's up?"

Mac smiled at the cheerful voice that greeted him.

"I just want to remind you that it's time for your antibiotic. I got your medical report and it was stated there that you should take your antibiotic, right about… now." Mac leaned against his chair, feeling himself relaxed a bit.

Jo chuckled at him. "Very accurate. I took it already right before my phone rang."

"Surprising. I thought I might have to prepare arguments just to persuade you to take your medicine, given your stubbornness. What gives?"

"Oh, I can't really skip my medicine even if I want to. With my leg's condition, I can't put up much of a fight." Jo laughed.

"Ellie's good, then." Mac said laughing too.

"No, it's Cade. He just won't let me move and won't stop pestering me to take my meds."

Mac stopped laughing. "Cade?"

"Yes, he's bossier than me. Could you even believe that?"

"Mac? Are you still there?" Jo said when she did not hear anything from Mac's side of the conversation.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm still here." Mac answered, diffident.

"Oh, okay, I thought I lost you." Jo paused a little "Is there something wrong?"

"I… I got to go, Jo… uhh… something just came up." Mac said hesitantly.

"Oh, okay. Thanks again Mac."

Mac went back to work, shutting himself from the world until he left the crime lab to go home a little before midnight.

* * *

"Mac, where have you been? I've been trying to reach you." Christine said when she heard the main door closed.

"Sorry, I was busy working on a case, my phone's on silent." Mac said, before placing a kiss on Christine's lips.

"I thought we already agreed that you won't work this late anymore?"

"I'm sorry; I did not realize the time." Mac said entering their bedroom, Christine behind him.

"Mac, what's going on? You seem distant these past few weeks."

Mac took off his shirt and went to take a shower.

"Nothing, the cases just kept on coming, we're barely done with one and we'd receive two more calls."

Christine waited until Mac emerged from the shower.

"Shall I heat the food now?"

Mac shook his head. "I'm not hungry; I just want to sleep if you don't mind." He said, lying himself down on the bed.

"Okay." Christine said, lying beside him.

Christine watched as her husband tried to sleep beside her. She looked at his exhausted face, his frown that did not even left his form. He turned to his side and then to his stomach. After a few minutes, he turned again to his back. Finally, he opened his eyes in resignation. He noticed Christine watching him.

"Mac, what is it that's bothering you this much?" Christine's worried voice softened his heart and he decided to tell her a part of what was bothering him.

"I almost lost Jo today." Mac said, looking at Christine, and wondered why things tend to be much bigger, more serious, and much more painful when it was said aloud.

Christine frowned in shock. "Why? Is she safe now?"

"Yes, she's safe now. The brother of someone she had put in jail had wanted to kill her for revenge. And she did not have any idea about that until she was already in the middle of the situation." Mac proceeded to tell Christine the whole ordeal, trying as much as he could to push away the visual images of each scene. But Christine had looked at his ever changing expression, each one that came after the last was worse, and it was like she was at the scene herself. She knew how much her husband cared about Jo and watching him be like this was like taking a knife to her heart.

"I'm glad she's safe. So she would not be coming to work for a few days?"

Mac sighed. "No, she's so stubborn she won't accept my offer for her to take two days off."

"But how could she move around?"

"She'll just do desk jobs. No moving around for her, yet."

Christine draped her arm over Mac and placed a kiss on his forehead. "You should always be careful, okay?"

Mac nodded at her. "I'm always careful, don't worry."

* * *

Mac was waiting for the elevator to send him down to the garage parking of his apartment when he dialed Jo's number.

"Mornin' Mac." The always cheerful tone said.

"Hey Jo. I just want to confirm if you're really coming to work today. You could still avail of my offer, you know."

"I'm still coming to work, Mac. There's no stopping me. And I could walk better now. It doesn't hurt that much anymore. But thanks, anyway." Jo said, trying to put on her ankle-rise boots.

"Okay, I'll go pick you up then. I'll be there in maybe twenty minutes." Mac said, walking towards his car.

"Oh, you don't have to. Thanks, Mac."

"What, you intend to take the subway or cab?" Mac said as he turned on his car's engine.

"No, Cade would be driving me to work before he goes to the airport to catch his flight." Jo explained.

"But… he might be caught in traffic from his hotel then also on your way to the crime lab. He might miss his flight." Mac said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, I'd thought about that too, but no worries. He's already here." Jo said, not wanting to spill yet that Cade stayed over last night. She did not want him to ask any more questions about them.

"Okay. That's… good. So, I'll see you later." Mac said, releasing his hand brake. He stopped himself from thinking anything about Jo or her relationship with Cade. He felt 'uncomfortable' thinking about them, period.

"Yeah. Thanks, Mac."

* * *

Ellie was ecstatic when she saw Cade in their home. She was out with friends and it was already dark when she came home, last night. But the ecstasy did not last long when she was told of the reason why Cade was even at their place. She immediately walked over to her mother who was sitting at the couch and took a good look at the bandage on her thigh. Jo had to explain to her the different kinds of gunshot wounds and its effects, making her understand that her wound was just superficial and other than the pain that would eventually subside in the next 12 hours or so, she was going to be fine.

Jo could only smile when after their crash course on bullet wounds, Ellie was already talking a mile a minute to Cade and her about so many things. She remembered what Ellie did at the airport before they flew back from California. Ellie liked Cade for Jo, and she was almost _there._ They would become a happy family, knowing that Tyler would be happy for his mother too, should Jo decided to be with Cade.

When it was time for bed, Cade carried her to her bed and playfully tucked her in. He was about to go out to sleep on the couch, when Jo asked him to stay in her bedroom. He was hesitant at first because Ellie was there with them, compared to when they were in California where they stayed at Cade's room, but Jo assured him that it's okay for him to stay with her.

Cade lay down beside Jo and wrapped his arms around her, and Jo felt her body instantly melted into his embrace as if their bodies were fitted to complement each other. Jo moaned satisfyingly at the warmth that had also embraced her heart. She'd gotten used to the feeling of being alone in the room, nobody to anchor her when she felt like drowning in sadness, not even someone to embrace when she felt cold, cold in every sense of the word. But the events that had happened in her life recently made her vulnerable, and the feeling of loneliness could sometimes be too much to bear.

She needed someone, too. She needed someone to be her man when she needed to be the woman that she was, a delicate, tender being, much like a flower that needed something to protect her from being flown away. There were times when she had to stop being the supermom and superwoman that she tried to be for a while, and just be simply, a woman; and now was one of those times. It could be tiring to always stick a brave face out to show the world, and she had been doing it since she decided to divorce Russ. She thought it might be time to let the brave mask take a rest for a while, even just for a very short while.

"Feeling comfortable in my arms?" Cade teased her when he heard her moan.

"Yeah, I missed you." Jo murmured to him.

"I missed you, too. It's a pity I could be here with you only tonight." Cade said, placing a tender kiss on Jo's cheek.

"Could you please promise me that you'd be more careful, next time?" Cade asked when the images of the incident earlier flashed through his mind.

"Okay, okay, I promise. I don't usually use myself as bait, you know."

"Uh huh, and why were you put on suspension last time, again?" Cade teased, looking at her.

"Fine. I promise. Okay?" Jo said, rolling her eyes at Cade.

Cade chuckled at her, before tracing her face with his finger. When his finger reached her lips, Jo kissed it and looked at Cade longingly. Cade smiled at her before leaning in to slowly, and tenderly kiss her. When they broke the kiss, Cade pressed his lips on her forehead before they finally fell asleep, their arms around each other.

* * *

Mac saw Jo stepped off the elevator and walked towards her office with a limp. She waived at him when she passed by his office, to which he offered his modest smile.

Jo slumped in her chair and looked at the documents piled high on her desk. She thought her condition was just the perfect excuse to try and finish everything since she could not escape her office and the paper works in lieu of field work. She opened the top file and started working, her concentration in full force.

She did not know how much time had passed since she started working, when her desk phone rang.

"Do you have any plans for lunch?" came Mac's voice from the other end of the line.

Jo glanced at her watch and realized it was already past 12 noon.

"I didn't even realize the time, Mac." Jo chuckled, "I'll just order in." she said, her mind already going through her mental catalogue of fast food chains.

"Don't bother. I'm going out to buy my lunch too. I'll just bring you some. What would you want?"

"Are you sure?" Jo asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah. I'm going out, anyway." Mac assured her.

"Okay, just bring me anything comforting to me." Jo smiled, even though she knew he won't see it.

"Burger, it is. Okay, wait for me. I'll be quick." Mac said before putting down the phone.

Jo was startled when Mac knocked on her office door.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Mac said, smiling. He went in and placed Jo's burger and fries on her desk then went around Lindsay desk and sat down across from Jo.

"It's okay; I was just not expecting you to come so soon." Jo said, reaching for her bag and took out her wallet.

"My treat." Mac said when he saw what she was doing.

"Mac…" Jo began but Mac did not let her continue.

"You did not accept the days off that I'm giving you, this is just a token of gratitude." Mac said, unwrapping his own burger.

"Well, thank you, then. And, I did not expect you to have burger, you're now a convert?" Jo said smiling.

"Remember yesterday, when I told you I was craving for buffalo burger? I was not able to grab one yesterday, so here it is now." He said, before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

Jo smiled at him before she unwrapped her sandwich, and they both ate in silence.

Mac had wanted to ask more about Cade but he was afraid he was only treading water. He knew she did not want to talk about it when he asked her about it yesterday and she did not even bother to elaborate on her answer, so he decided against it.

Jo hoped that Mac would not ask anything about Cade and her because she still did not know what to tell him. She knew she could not lie to him because sooner or later he'd find out the truth. She also thought it would be unfair to Cade no matter what she told Mac.

In this moment, for the two of them, silence really is golden.


	19. Chapter 19

_**From Chapter 18**_

_Mac had wanted to ask more about Cade but he was afraid he was only treading water. He knew she did not want to talk about it when he asked her about it yesterday and she did not even bother to elaborate on her answer, so he decided against it._

_Jo hoped that Mac would not ask anything about Cade and her because she still did not know what to tell him. She knew she could not lie to him because sooner or later he'd find out the truth. She also thought it would be unfair to Cade no matter what she told Mac._

_In this moment, for the two of them, silence really is golden._

**Chapter 19**

Mac had just closed the door when Christine emerged from their kitchen. Mac kissed Christine before he sat down at the dining table for dinner. He had just managed to take two bites out of his baked broccoli pasta when Christine beamed widely at him.

"I was looking around the bazaar this morning when I found something I think would suit you." Christine began before putting out on the table a thick, hardbound book.

Mac read the title on the jacket that was written in Wine Red, cursive letters.

_Life on Wine (The journey to become a wine connoisseur)_

Mac looked at Christine's elated face and though he forced himself to smile at her, he could not bring himself to.

"I don't understand, Christine." Mac asked, although he already had an idea of her purpose.

"Well, it was something to start with. The author was a typical 9 to 5 employee before he acquainted himself with different kinds of wine during a vacation to Spain. Then he tried to learn everything he could and now he's already a successful wine connoisseur and he had opened a wine bar that catered also to most of the restaurants in London for their wine selections." Christine had already read the synopsis and thought that Mac would be able to be like the author and finally retire from NYPD.

Mac eyed the book for a while, before shifting his gaze to Christine.

"Is this about the retirement, again?" He asked her gingerly, although his clenched jaw indicated anything but.

Christine sighed. "After what you told me last night about Jo, I got so scared, Mac. We could not know, but maybe tomorrow, or the day after, it could be your turn. You had caught too many bad guys and who knows if one of them were already plotting their revenge on you, too."

Mac put down his fork, his appetite already gone.

"Christine, I understand what you're trying to say. We would never know if someone was indeed plotting revenge against me, but retiring is not an assurance that it would not happen either, is it? They could still recognize me even without the badge if they really had harbored that much hate for me. It won't matter if I'm with the force or not. If they wanted to kill me, they still would even while I'm serving wine." Mac's tone of voice was fast slipping into something unpleasant, becoming more sarcastic. It irritated him for Christine to keep on asking him to retire. He would do so if he was ready, and as of this moment, he was far from being ready to leave the crime lab. It had been his life for the longest time, how could it be easy for him to just turn around and walk away from his family, from his home, from his life? He had only known, really known, Christine only three years while he had been in this calling ever since.

"Yes, but I would be much more at peace knowing that you were not out there somewhere, both hunting and being hunted." Christine reasoned, trying to persuade Mac to see her vision.

"Okay Christine, how about I promise you that I'd think about it? I will put into consideration all that you said and let's see where it would lead me." Mac said, trying to establish a compromise.

Christine did not say anything for a short while before frowning and said, "That's what you told me the last time, too."

Mac did not want to argue with her but his patience was already running out. He was not used to being told; even Claire did not ask him to leave his job when they got married. She did not even try to push him to do what she wanted to do. She would request, and ask, and persuade, reason, even bribe him to do what she wanted to do, like watching the opera, but she never forced him to do anything.

"Because I'm not yet ready to leave the lab." Mac's voice was now firm. His eyes had turned into a steely gray, and his face projected a stern expression.

"Well, when would you be ready? You've been there for a big chunk of your life, Mac. Weren't those years enough?" Christine was starting to lose her patience as well. She could not understand why Mac would want to stay in the force when he knew very well how his wife's brother, his partner, died.

"You're right. I've been there for a big chunk of my life so how could you expect me to turn away easily especially when it's the only thing that had kept me sane all these years, since…" Mac could not bring himself to say it. It was still painful even after all these years.

Christine wanted to say more but she knew when to stop. She saw a big transition in Mac's demeanor and she knew what he wanted to say but could not. She sat there and stared at her untouched food, until she heard the chair scraped against the floor and looked up to see Mac walking towards their room, his now-cold pasta, barely touched, was the only thing left that indicated of his presence.

* * *

Christine had already been asleep for three hours when she felt their bed shook. She opened her eyes, and looked around but found nothing unusual. She was about to close her eyes again when she felt another tremor. She turned her head around and looked at Mac's sleeping form beside her but still found nothing. She was debating with herself whether to wake him up to alert him of the tremors when he suddenly trembled in his sleep.

Christine sat up and turned on the night lamp before she leaned over Mac, her hand caressing his head. She looked at his bothered sleeping expression and heard him mumble something in an urgent tone. She thought he was having a nightmare and gently shook him to wake him up. She saw him clenched his fist and was about to wake him up again when she heard another urgent mumble from him. She did not understand what he was grumbling at first but when the next tremble came over and another mutter escaped from his lips, followed by a little, almost sob-like sound, she felt her heart stopped, her body froze, and her palms went ice-cold.

"_Jo!"_

"_Jo…!"_

* * *

Mac woke up with a start. He was drenched in sweat, and his heart was beating so fast, it was as if he just ran up a mountain and back. He carefully sat up on their bed, and closed his eyes for a second. The image of Jason Torch's angry face and his gun aimed at Jo came back to him, the image was so clear it was as if he was watching a movie in 3D. He opened his eyes and looked at Christine's sleeping form beside him. He wiped at the sweat that was dripping from his forehead and around his face and realized that the moist that had slipped itself into the corner of his eyes were not sweat; they were tears. He wiped his tears away and took in a very deep breath before gently standing up from the bed and went out of the room.

Christine saw Mac's eyes twitched as if about to open, and quickly but gently lay back down. Mac was just starting to sit up when she shifted and turned her back to him. She did not want Mac to notice the tears that were running down her cheeks because then she would not know what to tell him when he asked. She did not want to start yet another argument when the conversation they had during dinner was far from being pleasant.

Mac drank a glass of water and heaved a sigh as if to release all the stress that was starting to consume him. His shirt was sticking itself to his body and he wanted to change but did not want to go back to their bedroom, just yet. He strode to the living room and stripped off his shirt, held it in his hand, before sitting himself down to the armchair beside the big picture window and stared out at the quite New York streets below.

His thoughts had forced itself out to his consciousness and began bothering him. When Christine was kidnapped, he had never had a nightmare about it, not even much of a dream. He was worried, and was always keeping an eye on her, trying to gauge if she was forcing herself too hard to move on and forget about what had happened. But tonight was different. The nightmare he had just had was something unnerving. He wanted to call Jo and make sure that she was okay, but since it would be quite inappropriate to call her at 3:20 in the morning, he just sat there and tried to push all the evil thoughts away. Every inch of his body, though was aching to run to Jo's place and stay at her doorstep, maybe doze off a little beside her apartment's door, just to make sure that nobody would come and harm her and Ellie. Since he knew that Jason Torch had tried to locate Jo, he was afraid he might have information on where Jo lived and who lived with her. He could easily ask someone to finish the job for him, should he wanted to.

Mac clenched his jaw and his fist already had a death grip on the armchair's edge. He was getting frustrated already just by sitting here, doing nothing. He could not stop blaming himself for not noticing Jason Torch or Anton Burne around the crime lab building. He should have noticed them while on his way in or out of the building. He should have listened to Lindsay when she told him about the man who bumped into her, with facial features that she thought were familiar. He should have paid attention. He should have not let things go too far as it'd gone. He should have prevented Jason and Anton from getting near Jo. He should have driven faster, or ran faster than ever as if his life depended on it. But he knew he had run the fastest when he realized that Jo's life might have depended on it. It was because of his negligence, why the bullet from Jason's gun had even grazed Jo. He was there, between Jason and Jo. He should have stopped it. He should have just shot Jason. Or, he should have just taken another step to his right, because then, it would be him who would be grazed, not Jo.

Then, he remembered Jo at the hospital; when she placed her hand on his shoulder, and when she told him that she knew about his running towards Central Park, just to get to her. Unknowingly, the same, boyish, shy, smile that had slowly exposed itself on his face at the hospital, was slowly displaying itself on his face again now. He loved the feeling when she touched him. Her touch was always warm, sincere, and calming. His clenched jaw had already relaxed, and his fist had already let go of the armchair. His muscles had loosened, and his heartbeat was now even. He was not even aware of the changes that had happened since he remembered Jo's touch, until the shirt that he was holding dropped to the floor, beside his foot. He stooped to pick it up and finally went back to the master's bedroom and put on another shirt before going back to bed.

* * *

Jo felt someone shaking her shoulder. She reached her hand out, and let it wander around the space beside her.

"Cade…"

Her hand met nothing but the cold sheets.

"No, Mom, it's me. Wake up, you're gonna be late." Ellie shook Jo harder this time.

Jo opened her eyes and saw Ellie, already fully-dressed, her backpack perched on her shoulder.

"What time is it?" Jo yawned at Ellie.

"8. I've been calling you for the past 10 minutes but you won't stir. I was tempted to press your wound but decided to shake you awake instead." Ellie said, before exaggeratingly sat down on the bed, beside Jo.

"Oh God. It might be the antibiotic. I feel so drowsy." Jo said, forcing herself to sit up. "Have you had breakfast, yet?"

"Yup. And I left something for you on the table, too."

"My sweet Ellie, thank you baby." Jo smiled at her daughter, before pulling her into a hug.

When Jo let her go, Ellie did not move from where she was sitting. She sat there looking down at her fingernails, but Jo could see that her mind was somewhere else. She knew that look.

"Ellie, what is it?"

Ellie did not say anything at first, but she eventually looked up to Jo and asked her what she had been dying to ask her.

"How is it that even though there is someone else who loves us so dearly, we still go back to the person that we love but does not love us back?" Ellie asked her mother, staring at her eyes.

Jo stared back at her daughter's curious gaze, her mind trying to analyze Ellie's question.

"I don't understand why you're asking me this. Is this about homework? Literature?" Jo asked, not quite knowing what to make of Ellie's question.

Ellie frowned at Jo then shook her head.

"Real life, Mom."

When Ellie saw that Jo did not get her point, she sighed as she gathered her guts to ask Jo direct to the point.

"Mom, what I mean to ask you is," Ellie hesitated a little but continued, "how is it that even though Cade loves you dearly, you still go back to Mac?" Ellie finished, her eyes sad, her heart beating fast.

Jo knew Ellie was waiting if she's going to answer her question or she would make up some lame excuse to change the topic. Jo wanted to just get up and rush to prepare for work, thus changing the topic. But she also knew that Ellie won't stop asking her the same question until she finally tells her the truth. Jo looked at the digital clock on her nightstand before looking at Ellie again.

She weighed her answer in her mind, and threw the words around in her mouth, as if testing them before she let them out.

"Ellie, once you love, and I mean truly love a person, you never stop loving him. You just love him in a different way now, or you may love him a little less, but you never stop loving him. Of course, sometimes you just love him the same way you used to love him ever since. But no matter what, that person would always be a part of you." Jo had been looking at Ellie this whole time, but her eyes had a distant look in them. Her mind struggled to force its way to wander to the forbidden thought that was Mac. Jo summoned all her willpower to stop her mind from doing so, and thought of Cade instead.

"And did anything changed at all with Mac?" Ellie had not given up yet. She wanted to know if anything had changed about how her mother felt towards Mac. Jo had been happy, and her laughter sounded like crystal bells when Cade stayed the night after the Jason Torch incident. She wondered if maybe her mother had finally moved on, and was now ready to accept Cade in her heart.

Jo inhaled deeply, while thinking of the answer to her daughter's question. She wanted to tell Ellie the truth so she searched deep in her heart to make sure that whatever her answer would be, would be nothing else but the whole truth.

Jo opened her mouth, about to say yes to Ellie but then she was forced to close her mouth again when she felt her heart throbbed in her chest.

"It's still the same, Ellie" Jo finally whispered.

"And Cade?" Ellie asked, a little hesitant.

Jo did not say anything for a while. Just as when Ellie thought she would not answer her anymore, Jo said something Ellie had not expected.

"I think I'm ready to turn my back on my feelings for Mac, Ellie. I think I'm ready to accept Cade's love." Jo's eyes welled with unshed tears. It hurt her to say that she wanted to finally turn away from her feelings for Mac. But she knew that she had to, otherwise, she would spend the rest of her life stuck in something that she knew would continuously hurt her.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Ellie. Even when I'd be with Cade, I'd still love Mac, because that love is here to stay. Someday, I might love him a little less, or differently but as of now, it'd stay the same. It just has to take the backseat, and I'd let my feelings for Cade evolve into something stronger. I know it won't be difficult. Cade is a wonderful man and honestly, had we stayed a bit longer with him at California, maybe I'd already fallen in love with him." Jo was saying the truth. She was so close in loving Cade but it was halted when they went back to New York and she had to be with Mac again. After the Jason Torch incident, though, she was reminded again of how short life could be. Truth be told, she's happy with Cade. Everything was just perfect, except that her heart loved somebody else. But she had already made a decision. She would just be a friend to Mac.

* * *

Christine waited for Mac to return from his morning run. It had been more than a month already since Jason Torch's case was wrapped up but from time to time, she would still be awaken by Mac's grumbling of Jo's name. The tremors were gone most of the time except for some, especially bad nightmares, where she would be awakened by Mac's violent shaking. Last night was one of those especially bad nights. She felt Mac's violent shaking and opened her eyes. Mac was bathing in sweat, his face, a clear canvass of pure agony. His hands were gripping on the sheets so tight that his nail beds were all turned white already. The urgent tone of his voice calling Jo's name was more intense last night. It was more urgent, more heartbreaking. He was so afraid of losing her.

Christine heard the front door shut and listened as the familiar footsteps approached closer.

"Good morning" Mac greeted her, kissing her forehead.

"Good morning, Mac. I made omelets for breakfast." Christine said, finishing up the eggs.

"Okay, I'll take a shower first then I'll join you in a while." Mac said turning to go inside their bedroom.

A while later, Mac emerged from their room, wearing his usual dark-colored suit, all ready for work. He sat across Christine and ate his breakfast. He was almost done when Christine initiated a conversation.

"Mac, last night, I supposed you had a nightmare. You were sweating and I was awakened by your shaking. Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?" Christine had been rehearsing her opening line since the night she discovered his nightmares. She had only found the courage to ask him only now, though.

Mac froze and paled at Christine's question. It was not because he did not want her to know, though, but because he saw the images of his nightmares again.

"I've been having bad dreams about some cases that I had." Mac did not understand why he could not just tell Christine that the nightmares were about Jo. He was somehow afraid that she might get some wrong ideas about him having dreams about Jo, so he answered her question generally.

"Cases? Which cases?" Christine's heart hammered in her chest. She already knew that Mac was trying to shut the topic off by answering in a general fashion, not wanting to let her know that it was Jo he had been having dreams about.

"Uhhh… different cases, where members of my team were being put in very dangerous situations." Mac improvised. Technically, he was telling the truth. Jo was a member of his team, and she was put in a very dangerous situation, except he had dreamt of nobody else, but her.

Christine felt her heart broke into a million, tiny, pieces. He was lying on her face, and it hurt her so much. This was not the first time that he had lied to her so blatantly. The same had happened when she asked him about his memory problems. That was the day when Jo had talked to her and told her about the changes she had observed in Mac's behavior after the shooting incident. He looked into her eyes that time, and lied to her in defense. He was doing the same thing now. He was defending himself again even when she had not said anything, yet. When Mac lied to her about his memory problem, it was because there really was a problem. Now, she was afraid what his lying meant about him and Jo.

Mac saw Christine winced and watched as she withdrew into herself. She finished her breakfast and waited until he finished his before standing up to clear their plates. Mac knew something was wrong but could not figure out what. He thought Christine might know something that she was not telling him and it made him feel defenseless, not knowing what she might know. The last thing that he wanted was for her to get some wrong ideas but he could not just confess everything about his nightmares to her. He was pretty sure that if he would tell her about his nightmares about Jo, Christine would weave her own theory, including things that were far from the truth.

Mac left their apartment later, his mind trying to think of all the possible things that might be going on in his wife's mind.

* * *

It was almost 10 in the evening when Mac walked out of his office to go home. He was closing his office door when out of habit that he had recently developed; he turned to look at Jo's office. He frowned when he saw her still sitting in her office, her computer still glaring its beam against her face, her fingers hovering around the keyboard but she did not appear to be typing nor working on something. He stood just beyond his doorway and watched her from that spot. A few seconds later, he understood what was happening. Jo leaned back on her chair, laughing at something. A pen fell from her busy desk when her fingers brushed against a stack of papers. She turned to his direction and bent down to retrieve the pen from the floor and that was when he saw the phone she was holding in her left hand.

For the past few weeks, he watched her as she smiled sweetly at something she had read on her phone, or as she laughed at something somebody told her over the phone. Most often than not, though, that somebody was Cade. Lindsay would tease her when Jo's phone would announce a text message, saying that Cade's timing was always perfect, sending texts or making calls whenever Jo was having a tough time at work. That comment would always make Jo smile even before she answered Cade's call or read his message.

Mac turned around and walked towards the elevator. He was waiting for the elevator to send him down to the parking garage when he thought of the conversation he had with Christine this morning. He made a short, mental list of the things that Christine had asked him over time; things that he found strange and frustrating. He thought of the retirement plans that she had tailored for him, almost forcing him to accept her offer to run the restaurant with her, and thought of not going home, just yet. He was trying to avoid such conversations because he knew that only a tiny thread of patience was left before he finally blew up if Christine would insist on talking about the same topic. Wanting to stretch the time he had left to stay in the crime lab before Christine calls to ask him to go home, he turned his head around and looked at Jo's office. He saw her already shutting down her computer and shuffling papers on her table, ready to go home.

Jo was putting her mobile phone inside her bag, and had just pressed the power button on her monitor when she heard a soft knock.

"Mac" She said in her soothing, low voice when she saw Mac standing on her doorway.

"Ready to go home?" Mac said, entering her office.

"Yup, you need anything from me?" Jo asked when she saw him put his attaché case on the couch before sitting down on Lindsay's chair.

"No, nothing..." Mac shook his head.

Jo frowned at her boss. She was not used to seeing him like this. She knew something was bothering him, and she doubted if it had anything to do with work. Jo sat back down on her chair and put her bag aside, clearing the space between them from any barrier.

"What's wrong, Mac?" She asked him, while watching him intently.

Mac had been staring at Lindsay's keyboard, thinking of how to tell Jo about his predicament.

"Mac…" Jo tried again, she was now sure that whatever it was that was bothering him was personal. Otherwise, as his second in command, and given that it was him who approached her, he should have already spilled out whatever the problem was, if it was about one of the cases.

Mac heard the soothing sound of his name on her lips and wondered why his name sounded different if it was her who was saying it. Her tone when she said his name added a touch of tenderness to it, lending warmth to his name. He shook his head at what he thought was the ridiculousness of his mind trail. He looked up and almost drowned when his eyes met hers. He would love to revel at this little magical moment if it had not been that Jo's eyes were full of concern. He was about to ask her what she was worrying about when he remembered why.

Mac sighed when he remembered Christine.

Jo watched Mac as his expressions changed, letting her into a journey of his thousand different emotions. Finally, Mac found his voice to answer Jo's question.

"Christine had been asking me to retire." Mac stated simply, looking at those soft, hazel eyes of hers.

Jo's frown went deeper at his statement.

"And you did not want to?" Jo asked him, trying to find out the root of the statement.

"Not yet." Mac sighed. "How could I leave this place, Jo? I've been here most of my life and it's the only thing that kept me sane when…9/11." Mac said, repeating and failing again, what he told Christine.

"Did you tell that to her?"

"Of course, but she won't listen. You know what's pissing me off?" Mac suddenly felt guilty of what he was doing, and for admitting that he was pissed off. "She had planned ahead for me. She told me that I should retire and run the restaurant with her. Just a few weeks ago, she bought me a book about a certain man who left his 9 to 5 job and became a wine connoisseur. She wanted me to be like him. She got this idea of me serving wine and talking about wine, when she was touring vineyards after vineyards in Napa. Do I look like I'd be talking about and sipping wine for the rest of my life?" Mac asked Jo, his face slightly turning red in annoyance.

Mac turned his head around to look at Jo when he did not hear anything from her.

Jo was biting her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling when Mac suddenly looked at her.

"What are you smiling at?" Mac said when he realized what Jo was doing.

Jo could not stop herself anymore as she imagined Mac serving wine to customers and explaining the different kinds of wine that went with different kinds of food, and smiled broadly at Mac, to which Mac mirrored her expression and was now smiling widely at Jo, too.

"Okay, did she tell you why she was persuading you to retire?" Jo asked seriously.

"I told her about Jason Torch and she got this idea that with how many people I'd helped put into jail, I might be the next one to be targeted by people wanting to exact their revenge. And I told her that if there really was someone who wanted to kill me, he would still kill me even when I'm not wearing my badge anymore, and even while serving wine to people."

Jo could clearly see the annoyance in Mac's face and knew that it should had already been bothering him too much for him to come to her.

"You know that she's only worried about you, right?" Jo said, in an attempt to let him walk in Christine's shoes.

"I know, I understand that. But I also hope that she'd understand that I'm not yet ready to leave this job. I'd retire when I'm ready. I just hate it when she's forcing her way to me." Mac huffed a breath, "Now I'm feeling guilty for ranting out on her. I mean, I did not mean to tell anybody, and I understand that these things should be between us only, but I just had to let that out because I don't want to run out of patience and tell her things that I won't be able to retract."

"I understand, don't worry about it. I'm not judging you." Jo said, assuring Mac.

For a while, both of them did not say anything. Mac was the first to break the silence while standing up, ready to leave, Jo following his action.

Mac walked the short distance from where he was standing to where Jo was. He reached out and pulled Jo into a hug.

"Thanks for listening to me... even if the last time you cared for me, I shut you out."

"I'll always be here for you, Mac." Jo said, releasing herself from Mac's embrace.

"It's been a while since we had this kind of talk." Mac said almost in a whisper, his low voice almost sounding melancholy.

"But it doesn't change the fact that I'll always be your friend if you need me to, aside from being your second in command." Jo said, smiling at him.

Mac swallowed hard when he felt a pinching sensation in his heart.

"It's been a long time too since we last been… friends." Mac said, guilt gnawing at his guts, his heart felt like it was being twisted into a very tight knot.

Jo gave him a small smile, before sighing.

"Whatever happened to that friendship, Mac?" Jo asked, a tiny, wistful smile on her lips.

Mac looked at her, sadly. His eyes conveying something uncertain, something Jo did not understand.

Mac sighed and hugged Jo once more, this time tighter than the last. He shook his head against her hair and whispered something Jo did not know what to make of.

"Yeah, whatever happened to us?"

When they finally left the crime lab, Mac had not yet reached their apartment when he had received a text from Jo.

'_Everything will fall into place, at the right time.'_

Her words still had their calming effect even through digital messaging but the thing that made his heart ache more was the date stamped at the end of the message.

_Sept. 9_


	20. Chapter 20

_**From Chapter 19**_

'_Everything will fall into place, at the right time.'_

_Her words still had their calming effect even through digital messaging but the thing that had his heart ache more was the date stamped at the end of the message._

_Sept. 9_

**Chapter 20**

Mac woke up the next day feeling dread overcoming him. He had not realized today's significance until he saw the date stamp on Jo's message last night.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the 9/11 attack and the NYPD would have a memorial tribute for the victims of the gruesome event. As how things were every year, Mac dreaded waking up to see 'Sept 10' on the calendar. September 11 would always be very busy for all of them, especially for him because activities after activities would be lined up in relation to the anniversary. September 10, though would be the most difficult day he had to survive from because that is the day when all the memories would come back and visit him. It was always painful for him to go through 9/10 as he called it, because he would always have the tendency to think about Claire, how they spent their last night together, what they said to each other, and if there was any sign at all that should had clued him in to what would happen when they woke up the next morning.

Mac went to prepare for work; but as he went about with his daily morning routine, he would pause from time to time when he would remember that he used to do some things together with Claire. He was now running his razor under the tap water when he thought of how Claire used to tease him whenever he would cut himself while shaving. He was about to reach for a Q-tip when his hand paused mid-air and he just stared at the container when he remembered that that was where he hid the opera tickets that he bought to surprise Claire with.

Christine had been watching him since he paused midway to the bathroom when he remembered that Claire used to run for the bathroom so that she could use it first. Christine knew what was happening to Mac and she could not quite understand how, after all these years, memories of Claire still continued to haunt her husband.

Mac was about to leave the bathroom when he took a final glimpse of himself on the mirror and saw a small glob of shaving cream on his earlobe and paused yet again when he remembered how Claire used to wipe it off with her hands.

Christine's voice snapped him out of his oblivion, making him turn around to look at her. "Mac, please stop doing this to yourself."

Mac could detect a hint of annoyance on Christine's tone but tried to ignore it.

"I can't help it. I've been pushing back but apparently, memories had greater power over us." Mac answered. It was true that he was trying to go on with his life as normally as he could but this day still had a strong hold on him.

"Yeah, but you can't be stuck in this situation for the rest of your life."

"I'm trying, Christine." Mac said, taking his coat with him on his way out the door.

* * *

Mac got off the elevator with a frown. He went directly to his office and scowled at the mountain of files already waiting for him on his desk.

Danny and Lindsay walked past his office, Lindsay meaning to go inside Mac's office to share the joke Danny had just told her but decided not to when she saw the scowl on Mac's face. Everybody knows not to disturb the boss when he looked like how he looked now, unless it's very urgent.

Mac dived into work and focused all of his brain cells into the cases on hand, not leaving any space for thoughts of Claire to enter his mind. From time to time, a staff would enter his office to give him copies of the programme, and his finalized speech for tomorrow's tribute, other than that, though nobody dared to enter his sanctuary. He only stopped working when he felt his stomach grumbling. He took a very quick lunch and went back to work, almost isolating himself from the rest of the world, until it was already dark. The mountainous files on his desk this morning had been reduced into just a few requisition forms and leave of absences that needed his signature. He planned to finish everything before he goes home but his phone rang, Christine asking him to go home already.

* * *

Dinner was peaceful as Christine did not mention anything about the retirement nor his nightmares. She just talked about the restaurant, her busy day, and later on asked about his day. He told her the truth, telling her that he tried to finish the large amount of paperwork from morning until she called him home. He did not tell her, though that he had planned on going home early because the crime lab at night could be too quiet for comfort, given the significance of the day to him. After dinner, Christine loaded the dishwasher while Mac went for a shower. By the time he emerged from their bedroom, Christine was already at the living room, watching television. Mac was about to walk past her on his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water when the breaking news came on.

'_A teenager jumped from the penthouse of a hotel in an attempt to end her life when she discovered that she was pregnant but her boyfriend refused to take responsibility. Claire Winston…'_

Mac stopped dead on his tracks when he heard Claire's name, just as Christine turned her head to look at him. Mac stared at the TV, looking at the word 'Claire' as the news flashed the name of the teenager. He felt like he was smacked right in his guts, and felt like all of his blood was drained from his body. His whole body went ice cold, and his heart started beating fast. A few more seconds of staring at the TV screen and he felt nauseous. His heart felt like it was being torn from his chest and his vision was starting to get blurry. When his heart's palpitation did not stop, he grasped at the couch and sat himself down.

Christine turned off the TV and went to fetch a glass of water. She sat down beside Mac and held the glass against his lips. Mac shut his eyes and leaned his head back at the couch, after taking a few sips of water. After a few minutes, he started to calm down and his heartbeats slowed down to an even pace. He took in a deep breath before finally opening his eyes again.

"Are you okay?" came Christine's worried voice. Mac could not help but notice the annoyance again in her voice but chose to ignore it, like what he did that morning. He nodded his head and stood up to go their bedroom, intending to sleep the rest of the night through. He had only managed to take three steps away from the couch when he heard Christine's voice.

"You know Mac you should really try and get hold of yourself. I know how much you loved her but it has been more than a decade already. Don't you think you should have moved on already?"

Mac sighed heavily and without even turning around to look at Christine said, "Christine, please. I just want to rest; I still have a long day tomorrow." He took another step towards the bedroom but Christine's voice stopped him from continuing.

"See, how could you move on when every time someone tried to talk about it intending to help you, you shut the person out? Stop bottling in your feelings, Mac. This is not healthy anymore. Don't you even get tired of it?" Christine's voice was a little bit higher now and her face was all scrunched up in a mix of irritation and frustration.

"Christine, you don't know how I feel and you don't know how I felt. Please, just let me mourn tonight, that's all I'm asking you." Mac's voice was calm but he could not hide the sadness that laced it. More than his own irritation towards Christine's inability to understand him, he was more focused on the significance of this day and the memories that encompassed it.

"More than a decade of mourning was not enough? Till when were you planning to mourn, Mac? Will it ever end?" Christine's tone was dripping with sarcasm. She was getting fed up of Mac still getting affected by Claire's death when she thought he had already moved on when he decided to marry her.

Mac turned around to face Christine, his poker face on display but anybody that would walk in at this very moment, would feel the anger that he was emanating.

"More than a decade of mourning was not enough, Christine. And I don't know if it would ever end. Can't you just let me mourn in private? 365 days in a year Christine, and I'm only asking for one day, two at most. You may not understand how painful it was to lose the most important person in your life without anything to precede it. But I'm asking you to please, please just let me be. It's just for one day, Christine, please." Mac felt his eyes getting misty and pushed his emotions down. His own anger had started to rise, but it was immediately replaced with misery.

Christine narrowed her eyes at him.

"You forgot I lost my brother? It was abrupt, too. But I had moved on. That's what people do, Mac. They move on with their lives. They do not let themselves get stuck in the past." Christine was starting to get mad now, thinking it was unfair for Mac to say things as if it was only him who had experienced that same situation.

"You had something to mourned over, Christine. I had none. You have somewhere to go to when you want to talk to him, to mourn some more, you know where to locate him. You had something, while I, I don't even know where to look for her. I don't have anything to mourn with. I did not even get to give her a proper, decent, resting place. How could I be at peace with that thought in my mind? That's my wife we're talking about here, Christine. She was not just somebody I randomly met on the street. I had no closure, we had no closure, no ending." Mac's voice was now starting to rise, too. He was getting tired of controlling himself, keeping his temper down, and understanding Christine.

"What, you're still expecting that one day she'd walk back in through that door and tell you that she's alive all this time but had amnesia or something that she forgot about you or where she used to live?" Christine said angrily. She was so mad that she did not notice Mac's own anger reflecting itself in his blazing eyes.

"That's not my point, and you had no right to say that!" Mac was almost shouting now. He could not believe what he was hearing from his wife, the person who should be the one who would understand him.

"I'm getting tired of competing with someone who's not here anymore, someone who'd never be here anymore. You acted as if I'm not here, Mac. How do you think it made me feel? The whole day of today was about her, your past. Just because everybody had been letting you be this way, does not mean that I would too. I've been competing with a memory, for goodness' sake!" Christine shouted, her anger overriding any other emotions and logic.

Mac flared up with Christine's words. There was no way he could still control himself upon hearing what she had said.

"Compete? There's no competition, Christine. There was never any competition." Mac's face had acquired a deep shade of red now, and the veins in his temples were throbbing in rage. "Claire would always be Claire. I'm not asking anybody to compete with her because nobody could ever replace her in my life. Anybody who would come after her should understand who she _is_ in my life and should respect that. Why can't you just give me a day to mourn for her? Was a day too much to ask? She gave meaning to my life, for God's sake!" Mac paced back and forth, when he remembered how life was with Claire. It had not been perfect; they had arguments, they had misunderstandings, but they never disrespected each other. They had mutual respect for one another, and no matter how big the argument was, at the end of the day, they would just settle with a compromise and would support each other's decisions.

"For the longest time, I've suffered and wallowed myself in sorrow but slowly, step by step, I'd managed to accept the reality. But you couldn't expect me to take a big leap and forget her totally, just because you're here, and I married you. I really hope you did not expect me to do that because then you would be very disappointed. I will never forget about her, Christine. And nobody, not even you, could replace her." Mac was beside himself now. He was already shouting and he could feel his body trembling in anger. He was hurt and mad, the event fueling his emotions.

One thing that he could not ever let go was to hear things that were disrespectful of Claire and her memory especially if the person who said those did not even had the chance of meeting her. She was the love of his life and he could still remember how guilty he felt when he was shot and in limbo, hallucinating about talking to Claire and telling her that he met someone. He felt like he betrayed her or he cheated on her that was why he felt like he was compelled to tell Claire when he had the chance to, that he had met someone.

"What am I, then?" Christine's small voice was quivering due to unshed tears.

Mac clutched at his head and sighed. He shook his head, unbelieving that Christine would not stop the argument and was provoking him further.

"You're unbelievable. You know what; I don't need this right now. I'm going to stay at the crime lab tonight." Mac said before turning towards their bedroom to get some things and to change before heading out of the apartment, leaving a mad and shocked Christine in his wake.

* * *

It was almost 11PM already when Jo finished the report she was doing and went out of her office to head home. She had just walked past the trace lab when she saw the lights in Mac's office turned on. She frowned as she remembered passing by his office just a while ago and saw that he'd already left and his office was already dark. When she finally reached his office, she saw Mac sitting on his chair, his elbows propped up on the table, his forehead resting on his hands.

"Mac, are you alright?" Jo asked as she entered his office.

Mac was startled upon hearing Jo's voice as he did not even noticed when she came in.

"Jo, what are you still doing here? It's already late." Mac said, looking at his wristwatch.

"I had just finished a report. Ellie was staying over at her friend's so I thought I should finish work before going home. Why are you here? I thought you've already left."

Jo's curiosity was piqued when she saw the bothered and distressed look in Mac's face.

"I just came back from home. I'll stay here tonight. You should go home, Jo. It's already late." Mac said, leaning back in his chair, his distant eyes looking at something behind Jo that she could not see.

Jo hesitated a little before sitting down on one of the chairs in front of Mac's table.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him. Her eyes were already scanning his expression and her mind was already 'profiling' him.

Mac looked at her and was a bit surprised to see how concerned her eyes looked, and how sincere they were. He gazed at those warm, hazel eyes that were also losing themselves in his own grays and for a moment, forgot everything that had just happened.

"Mac?" Jo called his name and he wondered yet again why his name sounded different if it came from her lips.

Mac let out a very deep sigh and shut his eyes when he remembered the argument he just had with Christine. He was not used to telling other people things about himself, most especially about Claire. But he had since proven, ever since he met her, that Jo had something in her that would let you put your guard down and spill your guts out as if hypnotized, whenever she would look deeply in your eyes and ask. It could happen quite quickly, you would not even realized what hit you until after you'd already told her everything. He had watched her use that ability to coax out confessions from the suspects, and she had once tried it on him too, when she asked him about his memory problems. It took all of his willpower not to get swayed by her to make him tell her the truth. And even then, it had been too difficult for him that was why he stood up and refused to look her in the eye for too long, that time.

"I still could not get over Claire, Jo. Everybody thought tomorrow is the most difficult day for me, and they would tiptoe carefully around me, limiting every conversation about the attack to a bare minimum. But the truth is this day is always the most difficult." Mac said, his eyes searching hers, trying to know if she understood what he was saying. Christine was right, he should not bottle in his feelings. He could have tried to take his time in explaining these things to Christine, if she did not used that accusing tone on him, because that hint of irritation, annoyance, and later on, anger, were the reasons why he was shutting himself from her.

Jo slowly nodded her head at him.

"Because tomorrow, everybody would be very busy, rushing from place to place, conversations would web from topic to topic, you could hardly have any time to remember and feel the sadness, the sorrow, while today, the silence would already premeditate the event and it would let sadness seep into your pores and envelop your heart. You just won't have anywhere to hide." Jo said. It was her turn to look distant. Her soul had gone somewhere where Mac could not go after her. She had thought of Leanne, her beloved sister who died five years ago, two days after 9/11.

He frowned at her words, knowing that there was something she was not telling him and he was almost certain she was in the same situation as him judging by the melancholy in her voice as she spoke. Mac looked up and watched Jo as she took a quick journey to Leanne's memory and came back to him, after.

Jo looked back at Mac and smiled a sad one.

"You'd get by, Mac."

"It was always like this. It had been more than a decade already and yet I kept on being like this, unable to forget." Mac said, remembering Christine's words. It was because of her words that were starting to rub on him, making him doubt himself.

Jo frowned at Mac.

"I don't understand, Mac. You want to forget Claire?" Jo's eyes were wide with surprise.

"No. But it was proving to be difficult for me to be like this every year, mourning for her, remembering our last day together…" Mac sighed again, both at the memory of Claire and at the frustration he was feeling following his argument with Christine. The truth was it was never difficult for him to be like this every year. It had just gotten difficult, now that Christine was taking notice and was admonishing his ways.

"But of course, Mac. You should mourn her every year, because that was how much you loved her. She was practically your world and her being snatched away from you like that, and without anything that would indicate of her fate… how could you move on without really anything to remind you that she's gone, at all? We all have our own ways of mourning, and of coping. This is your way. I don't see anything wrong with that."

Mac stared at Jo, his mind unable to process how it was possible for her to say almost the very same things he told Christine.

"How come you could understand what I'm going through?" Mac finally asked her sadly.

"What? It's normal to be how you are, Mac. You had no closure, no nothing. While I…" Jo swallowed back her tears when she realized she was about to venture to the painful past again. She had not talked about this to anybody in the crime lab, and only a handful of people that were close to her knew about it. She looked at Mac, trying to see if she could still retract but knew that she could not when she saw that Mac was looking at her intently, waiting for her to continue. He had latched on at the very first indication of a slip of the tongue.

"Jo…?" Mac prodded her gently. He knew she was holding back something from him and he wanted to know. He wanted to know more about Jo. He wanted to know what was causing the sorrow he was seeing now in those normally bright and naturally happy hazel eyes.

Jo hesitated a little, trying to work up some nerves before she continued.

"Five years ago, on September 13, my only sister died in a car accident. A drunk driver did not see Leanne, that's her name, coming from the other side and slammed into her. He got away alive, but Leanne… I was barely out of my driveway when she had gone." Jo blinked back tears and tried to suppress her feelings.

"Every year, I would still mourn her. Every year, I would still feel the pain of losing her. The biggest regret of my life was not being able to say goodbye to her, and not being able to tell her that I love her so much, not being able to kiss her one last time before she left. And I could only imagine how much more it hurt you every year, most especially because you did not even found Claire. I could and I would go to Leanne's tomb whenever I missed her or whenever I'm having problems that I wanted to share to her just like how we used to when she was still with us. But you, Mac, you were not given a chance at all. No tomb to visit, no nothing, as if she was just air that was blown far away from you, without leaving any trace behind." Jo wiped at the tears in her eyes. It was so painful for her to let Leanne go like that, but when she met Mac and learnt how Claire died, she was at least thankful that at the very least, they were able to give Leanne a place where they could visit her, and though she was not able to talk to her before she was gone, at least their mother had the chance to do so.

Anyone who could have witnessed this conversation would have been shocked. The two persons who had been keeping the thing closest to their hearts a well-kept, well-guarded secret, much like a top confidential file, had just shared them to one another.

Mac stared at the woman sitting across from him. He did not expect somebody to understand his predicament, his sorrow. He did not expect for Jo, the always cheerful, always positive soul to tell him that it's okay to mourn for Claire after all these years. He did not expect for Jo to understand since his own wife did not understand him, and yet she did. It was as if they were sharing the same sorrow, the same misery. He did not know about Leanne before and it was difficult for him to understand that the always beaming, laughing, and just really, always a breath of fresh air that was Jo, was harboring this much pain inside her. He could not wrap his mind to the idea that the person who would cheer them all up, and be their rock when they feel weak, be their blanket to keep them warm, had been hiding this much pain in her heart, all along. It was true when people say that the widest smile, the loudest laughter, hides the saddest heart. It broke his heart to know of her heartache, and he could do nothing to banish it. She had been good to all of them and to him especially, but he could do nothing for her in return.

Jo gave him another one of her sad smiles when she realized he had been staring at her.

"You did not expect it, huh? But seriously, Mac, there's nothing wrong with that. According to the stories I've heard, you've gone a long way since all those years ago. You could not change everything in just one snap of your fingers. It takes time. Moving on takes time. Time would heal the wound, don't rush it. You're good the rest of the year, right?" Jo asked, looking at him, pushing aside her own emotional distress.

Mac slowly nodded at her.

"Yeah, I think so too. So what you're going through today is just normal. Don't give yourself a hard time." Jo was back to her old, comforting soul, once again.

Mac finally gave her a small, sad smile of his own, and nodded his head at her.

"Okay, now you better go back home, Christine might be worried about you already. And you have to get some rest, tomorrow would be a busy one for you." Jo said standing up.

"I'm going to stay here." Mac said, his expression reflects one of resolute.

"Okay, then. But get some sleep, okay." Jo said, walking around his desk to squeeze his shoulder. "I'll go ahead. Goodnight, Mac."

"Goodnight, Jo. Thank you again." Mac said standing up to give Jo a quick hug. He was grateful that he had somebody to talk to, someone who understands him, and does not judge him. He noticed, though that Jo had released herself once again from his hug a bit too soon. "Thanks for always listening to me, for caring for me, even though the last time you cared for me, I shut you out. I'm really sorry for doing that to you, for telling you hurtful things. I did not mean to…" Mac stopped talking when he felt Jo's fingers against his lips.

"Sshhh… No worries, Mac. No need to bring that up again." Jo said smiling while gently shaking her head at him.

"How come you'd always understand me and forgive all of my misgivings?" Mac asked, gazing deeply in her eyes.

Jo smiled at him.

"That's easy. It's because I…" Jo caught herself just in time, and pretended to clear her throat before continuing, "Because I'm your friend, Mac. I'll always be." She finished smiling widely at him.

Mac swallowed when she finally finished her sentence, and gazed at her eyes sadly before looking down. When he looked up again, he plastered a small, bitter smile on his face when he felt his heart winced in his chest. He had thought she was going to say that she… Mac slightly shook his head at his own thoughts.

"I'll go ahead, Mac. Be sure to get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow would be a long day for you." Jo said, patting his cheek, playfully, which earned her Mac's first genuine smile, followed by a chuckle, of the day.

When Jo had already disappeared to the elevator, Mac slumped back into his chair. He took out his wallet and from the second sleeve of his wallet, under a few business cards, he pulled out a photograph. It was a picture of Claire's, one that had been in his wallet since their wedding. She was so pretty in her wedding gown; her face was glowing like an angel's.

Mac stared at the picture in his hand, his tears starting to push their way to the front of his eyes. He blinked them back and traced Claire's face with his finger.

_Why couldn't she understand, Claire? She's my wife, she should understand, right? Why can't she give me this day to be with you? It was just one day. One day of being with you, and only in my thoughts. How could she deny me that? And how could she treat you as a competitor? How come everybody could understand, except her? It had been more than a decade, Claire; more than a decade of trying to live without you. It was hard. The road to acceptance had never been easy, but I finally did it. It does not mean that I forgot about you, though. I would never forget you. You'd always be in my heart. You'd always be a part of me._

* * *

Jo was lying on her bed, thinking of the shift in Mac's behavior. He had always been private, sometimes even too private for comfort. But last night and tonight, he had been so accessible. He had opened up his heart for her, letting her see the most private aspect of his life. She had never expected him to let her in to that part of his thoughts, because it was the deepest, most kept part of him, and yet, he did.

She knew there could only be two things that a person would do if he was met with tragic difficulty; either he clams up or pours his heart out. Mac had clammed up since 9/11 and Jo thought that maybe this time, he opted to adopt the second option to help himself. People change, after all. She thought that maybe he had discovered that talking to someone would help ease some of his burdens, and all that he had to do was to find the right person to talk with. If that's the case, then she's thankful that he chose her to be that person.

Trying to keep her promise to herself, she numbed herself from anything else aside from the friendship that she offered Mac. But his closeness was pulling her away from her resolution to be just a friend to him. That was also why she kept on saying 'friend'; it was not for Mac to hear. It was really for herself, to remind her that she had to be only his friend. When Mac hugged her last night and tonight, she released herself from his embrace a little too soon. She knew he was just expressing his thanks, and they used to hug each other for all kinds of purposes before. But she was still trying to establish the foundation of her relationship with Cade, and Mac being close to her like that was making things difficult for her.

The only problem was she could not walk away from Mac, either. She did not have the heart to let him wallow in sorrow, without even offering him her friendship. Truth be told, she was waiting for him to admonish her tonight, she wanted him to scold at her for sticking her nose again in his personal business. She almost begged for him to shut her out once more, because then it might be easier for her to take those final couple of steps away from him, and totally moved on. But alas, Mac did not only _not_ pushed her away, but also apologized for what he had told her before, and he had let her in to the deepest part of his heart. She did not know what really made Mac open up to her, and she did not really want to know. She thought that the lesser she knew about him, the better.

Thinking back to their conversation earlier tonight, as a friend, her heart went out to him when she saw how devastated he looked. She had not intended to go in his office, planning to just pretend that she did not see him and just go on her way. But when she saw him looking devastated, and after hesitating a little, she finally decided to go in. Too many things had been going on in his personal life, and being sheltered in his own world for the longest time, it had been too trying a period for him.

Her phone buzzed atop her nightstand and she reached over to read the message.

_I hope you're already asleep. I miss you. Sorry, was not able to talk to you. Just got home. Busy night. _

Jo felt little stabbing pains in her heart, guilt threatening to engulf her.

She pressed 'call' and listened as it rang twice before Cade's voice came through the other end.

"I knew you're still up. Why are you not yet sleeping?"

"I was about to sleep. I was just caught up with a little thinking."

"And now, the thinking's done?"

"Yeah. Let's go to sleep." Jo said, burying herself under the sheets.

Cade chuckled at Jo. "Okay, goodnight, Jo."

"Don't end the call. My phone's battery was almost dead. It would end the call when it turned off later."

"Jo, are you okay?"

Jo could not understand why Cade seemed to know when there was something bothering her. What she did not know was it was easy for Cade to detect from her voice when something was bothering her, and he would know that it had something to do with Mac whenever Jo refuses to tell him what's wrong.

"Yeah. I just… I want to hear you breathing. Makes me feel that you're here with me." Jo said in a small voice. The guilt was killing her. She knew she had done nothing wrong with Mac. But deep inside, she felt like she was betraying Cade.

"Okay Jo, goodnight." Cade's voice was masked with neutrality because he did not want her to notice anything. But of course she did notice the underlying desolation in his voice and that made her feel even guiltier.

"Goodnight, Cade."

When her phone's battery died, and her phone had turned itself off, Jo still could not sleep. The guilt was eating her alive, her conscience would not let her have some peace.


	21. Chapter 21

_**From Chapter 20**_

"_Okay Jo, goodnight." Cade's voice was masked with neutrality because he did not want her to notice anything. But of course she did notice the underlying desolation in his voice and that made her feel even guiltier._

"_Goodnight, Cade."_

_When her phone's battery died, and her phone had turned itself off, Jo still could not sleep. The guilt was eating her alive, her conscience would not let her have some peace._

**Chapter 21**

Mac stood at the podium and took a long sweep of the crowd in front of him. The weather was just perfect for an open area affair albeit a sad one.

He woke up this morning on his office couch with Claire's picture still in his hand. He stared at her picture for a good two minutes before he finally sat up and took out his wallet to return the picture where it had resided all these years. Before his busy day began, the short period of silence gave him a window to relive his and Claire's last day together. His heart felt heavier by the minute but even before he could immerse himself thoroughly in grief, he heard the elevator stopped on their floor and the different sounds of soled feet flooded the corridors.

Mac looked down at the copy of his speech but his eyes zeroed in at the heading: 9/11 Anniversary. Thoughts of Claire started to enter his mind again but he tried to block them out. He did not want to end up shedding tears or at least become emotional, for everyone to see, so he tried to look for anything neutral to look at, anything to calm his emotions a bit. He sought for his team that was sitting near the stage and looked at them, only to immediately look away. Most of his team was watching him with sympathizing look on their faces, and though he was grateful to them, it was not what he needed now. His eyes roamed further to the end of the row and finally found what he was looking for, sitting right beside Sid.

Jo locked her eyes with Mac's with a confident look on her face. While the rest of the team were looking at him with sad, sympathizing eyes, she gave him an encouraging look, hoping it would also give him confidence. She was like a mother who was watching her child about to perform on stage. She was nervous of what the outcome would be, but she believes on her child's ability and therefore she sat back and looked at her child with a little smugness that screamed 'I'm proud of you', making the child cling on to that encouragement, giving him the assurance he needed. And that was exactly what happened to Mac.

Mac flashed a quick, small, thankful smile at Jo, before clearing his throat to begin his speech.

It took Mac a little under ten minutes before he finally wrapped up his speech and stepped away from the podium. When he got down the stage, he was met by co-workers, friends, and acquaintances that he had met during the attack, and in rescue operations. After a few more formalities and picture takings, people went away one by one, until only a sparse of men in uniform, and his team were left at the venue.

Mac looked at his team who was also his friends, and his family for the longest time, and sighed. He was grateful that he was given a team who could also be friends and family to one another. They had supported him ever since he could remember, and even though some had left, and new ones had been added, his team continued to be a family… his family.

Mac gazed at the memorial wall and thought of the families and dear ones that those people had left behind. The devastation did not end when the two towers were wiped out. It still continued until now, firefighters and rescuers dying over the years due to complications from inhaled asbestos and other illnesses brought by the rescue operations in the days following the attack. The memorial wall could never replace their loved ones who'd departed. It was only there to serve as a reminder that these people were selfless enough to save other people's lives, endangering their own. Through these walls, their families could only hope that not only them, but the whole city would never forget them.

His argument with Christine came haunting him again. Her voice was like a chant that kept on repeating in his mind. She wanted him to forget about Claire. He could not do that. Never. Mac sighed deeply. _How come I could not find anybody who could understand me, Claire? _

The last of the team had already left the venue either to go back to the lab, or go home to savor what's left of their day offs but a solitary figure was still standing a few feet from the stage. Jo had been watching Mac since he turned away from them to stare at the memorial wall. He was given a short period to take a rest and have his lunch before he had to go on with the rest of the activities, but looking at him now, she doubted if he would even feel the rest that he was offered.

She wanted to know what he was thinking but judging from the way he looked at the wall as if he could look past it, his slightly creased forehead, and the droop of his shoulders, Jo thought she already knew what, or who he was thinking about. She wanted to go near him and cradle him in her arms to soothe the pain a bit but she knew she could not do that. She had thought of walking the few steps that separated them and place her hand on his shoulder instead, which in a wordless way would mean that he was not alone, but as she was about to take the initial step towards him, she remembered how the guilt had nagged her last night and how Cade's voice sounded to her. Jo shot one last glance at Mac before turning around to leave him alone with his thoughts, and go back to the crime lab after having lunch herself.

Mac's thoughts had finally returned to the present and immediately sensed a pair of eyes burning hole in the back of his head. He turned his head around just in time to see Jo about to walk away.

"Jo…"

Jo stopped when she heard that low, heavy with sadness voice called her name, and turned around to look at the desolate-faced man to whom the voice belonged to.

Mac looked at her questioningly, his eyebrows raised as if asking why was she looking at him earlier.

Jo twitched her lips up into a small smile, her forehead creased a bit, her eyes gloomy. She hesitated for just a second but eventually took a couple of steps, reducing the distance between them.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Jo asked sincerely, worriedly.

Mac thought for a short moment before nodding his head. "Yeah" he said glumly, a hint of uncertainty in his voice as if he was trying to convince himself that he'd be okay too.

Jo's eyes scanned Mac's face and doubted his answer. But she had no intention of prolonging the conversation if he did not want to talk. She had just wanted to comfort him should he wanted her to.

Jo nodded her head back at him.

"I'll go ahead, then." Jo said, smiling a tiny bit wider now before turning away from him. She had only managed to take a couple of steps from him when she heard his wavering voice.

"Do you… do you have anything planned after this?" Mac asked Jo whilst trying to steady his voice but failed.

Jo looked back at him and saw the silent plea in his eyes.

"No… I'm just going back to the crime lab after having lunch." Jo said, slowly shaking her head at him.

Mac looked down at his feet after hearing her answer. He then looked at the sky to his far right, thinking deeply. He paused for a very short while before looking back at Jo.

"Would you mind… to stay behind… just for a little while?" Mac asked, his eyes diffident, almost scared.

Jo crinkled her forehead, her eyes looked questioningly at Mac.

"I…" Mac hesitated, "I just need you to… stay here for a while…" Mac said, his soft gray eyes looking keenly at hers, "…with me" he added almost in a whisper. After his argument with Christine last night had resurfaced, he had thought that Jo might also criticize him now, making him unsure of what he had just asked her to do. He was not usually this needy, but things were fast becoming unbearable to him.

Mac had not had a long term relationship for the longest time, and his marriage was almost becoming too much for him to handle. Christine clearly had a lot of expectations from him, and most of them, he was pretty sure that he could not fulfill. He was hurt, confused, and self-doubting. He just needed a little 'safe haven', and based on what he was shown in the last two nights, Jo was that 'safe haven' for him, now.

His asking her to stay had just confirmed what she had read from his face a few minutes ago. It broke her heart to watch him now, the cracks on his hard shell starting to show. Jo could only nod at him before walking to one of the empty portable chairs and sat down. Mac followed her and sat at the chair beside her, both of them facing the memorial wall, both sat in silence.

Mac looked at the memorial wall of fallen heroes and thought of that fateful day.

When he drove downtown that day, his intention was to look for Claire. He never expected that he would end up saving many lives, but fail to save the very person he went looking for. He wanted to ignore other people and continue looking for Claire, but his nature could not turn away from the cries of pleas that were surrounding him. He did his best to help those he could, but he kept his eyes open for any signs of Claire. He searched day and night, while continuing to help other victims, not minding his aching muscles, hunger pangs, and the exhaustion that was settling in. In the end, he had saved a lot of lives, except for the life of his wife. When the city erected memorial tributes to the victims and to the fallen members of the Force, though it may be wrong for him to think that way, he had sometimes thought if his name should also be written in one of those tribute walls. He had sometimes thought that maybe it would be better for him to be included in those lists of fallen heroes, not because he wanted to be called a hero, but because it would release him from the pain of losing Claire.

Jo had not looked at the man sitting solemnly beside her since they both sat down, and just fixed her eyes at the memorial wall in front of them. It did not mean though that she had no idea of what was going on with him. It did not escaped her when he sighed, when he swallowed with a little difficulty due to what she guessed was a dry throat, and it did not escaped her attention also when he ran his hand through his hair in exasperation, as if defeated. It was all she could do to keep her from pulling him into an embrace.

Should there be anybody who had been watching them now would think that Mac and Jo were two strangers, that although weirdly sitting together when there were a couple more chairs around them, not a single word had been said between them. What the eyes could not see though was the silent understanding between two people; two hearts that had been talking to each other, where one was grieving, while the other was consoling.

After almost fifteen minutes, Mac inhaled deeply and Jo felt him already back to his normal self. Mac craned his neck to his left where Jo was sitting and when Jo looked back at him, he gave her a tight-lipped, but genuine smile.

"Thank you."

Jo gave him an acknowledging smile in return, "Anytime".

Mac stood up and Jo followed suit. They both walked in a leisurely pace towards the inner road where Mac's Avalanche was parked when Mac suddenly stopped walking.

"Would you like to grab lunch together?" He asked Jo, smiling.

"Diner?" Jo asked grinning in childlike ardor.

"Another burger?" Mac teased, almost laughing at Jo's sparkling, wide, hopeful eyes.

"Sloppy Joe!" Jo said happily, her eyes dancing in anticipation.

Mac let out a little laugh at Jo's expression.

"Deal!" Mac was thankful that on this sad day of remembering, someone was here with him, willing to sit with him through sadness, and make him smile after.

They both walked purposefully now, with tiny bounces in their steps. They were about to reach the Avalanche when Mac's phone rang, its sound piercing through the crunching gravel under their footsteps. Mac pulled his phone out of his suit pocket and frowned when he saw who was calling him.

Mac stopped and excused himself before turning the other way from Jo to answer the call.

Jo stepped a bit further away from where Mac was standing to give him privacy. She waited until he finished the call which only lasted for a couple of minutes. When Mac started walking towards her, she noticed the change in his countenance.

"Everything okay?" She asked him when he reached her side.

"It was Christine" Mac said looking at her, "She said she prepared something for lunch, said she wanted to make it up to me." Mac finished a little grimly.

Jo could feel the disappointment starting to chew on her heart but she beamed at Mac.

"That's good. Patch things up with her." She said a bit too cheerfully.

Mac stared at her desolately. He was not even sure if things would get better after lunch based on their argument last night. He was worried that Christine would bring up the same topic and would only ruin his focus.

"I'm sorry, Jo. I did not expect her to…"

"Oh, don't worry about that. It's nothing. Go, have lunch with her. We'll have that greasy lunch some other time." Jo said smiling broadly at him.

Mac stood there, unwilling to move. He was trying to come up with an excuse to decline the lunch with Christine. Jo noticed what he was doing and beat him to it.

"Don't even think about it, Mac." Jo said, walking fast towards his Avalanche. "Quick! You'd have to run to the next tribute later. You don't have much time."

"I can call Christine and ask her to move it to dinner instead." Mac said frowning, his mind working frantically for an excuse, as he walked to where Jo was standing beside his truck.

"What? Why would you do that? No, no. You," Jo said, opening his car door "are going to have lunch with Christine, now. While I, I am still going to have my Sloppy Joe." Jo said grinning at Mac.

Mac stood beside the open door and hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Of course! You really have to go now, Mac. Your time's running out." Jo said looking at her wristwatch.

"Well, at least let me send you to the diner before I…" Mac was not able to finish his offer when Jo cut him off abruptly.

"I'm going to be fine, while you're going to be late. Now, hop in and drive away. I'm going to take a cab." Jo said sternly, but still a bit playfully.

Mac sighed while trying to do mental calculations. He knew what Jo said was true. He would not be able to arrive on time to his next agenda if he was going to send Jo first before going to Christine's restaurant.

"I'm really sorry, Jo… I'll make it up to you." Mac said when he was finally convinced that he really had a tight schedule.

"Oh hush. It was just lunch." Jo rolled her eyes at Mac "No big deal." She said, gesturing with her hand, her multiple bangles clashing against each other.

Jo sighed dramatically at Mac before turning away from him, when he still did not move from where he was standing as if he was already rooted to the spot.

"I better go, otherwise this apologizing won't end. We'd be stuck here forever. Bye, Mac. See you at the lab tomorrow." Jo waived at him before hailing a cab and got in when it stopped for her.

Mac watched as the yellow car went farther away from him, until it finally disappeared from his sight before hoisting himself to his car seat. He remembered the same scene on the night of his wedding, during the reception: Jo in a cab, going farther away from him until he could not see her or a trace of the cab anymore. He turned his key in the ignition and started his engine to go to Christine, much like when he turned his eyes back to Christine when they were dancing that night. He realized he had just reached a full circle.

Jo sat at the back of the cab and stared out of the window. She had been stopping herself, trying to control her emotions, but she could only do as much. She wiped at a stray tear that had escaped from the confines of her eyelashes. _At least I got to be his friend again._

* * *

Mac was lead to the back of the restaurant, at the busy kitchen by one of the waiters when he opened the door to Christine's restaurant. Christine beamed at Mac when she saw him and walked towards her husband. When she reached his side, she placed a soft kiss on Mac's lips before linking her arm into his to lead him at the farthest part of the kitchen, into a corner secluded from the rest of the restaurant. There was a small table set up for two, and Christine motioned for him to sit on one of the chairs, before sitting down herself on the chair opposite him.

During lunch, Christine asked him about his day so far, about the tribute this morning and those scheduled for the rest of the day. He answered everything, but limited himself from saying anything more. After having their meal, Christine reached for Mac's hand over the table and held it.

Mac looked at Christine when he felt her squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry Mac, for being too hard on you. I did not mean to. I'm just worried about you." Christine said, her eyes almost pleading him to believe her that she had no other intention but to help him.

Mac stared at her and inhaled deeply. He nodded at her, indicating that he understood what she was saying. He squeezed her hand back, an indication that things were good between them, that everything's okay now. But he did not trust himself to speak, so he did not. He just merely smiled at Christine, relieved that the cloud that was hovering over them had finally passed.

* * *

Mac went on with the rest of the tributes that was scheduled for him to appear in and then went home to Christine after. At first he was still worried that Christine might bring up the topic of forgetting Claire, or the retirement but he heaved a big sigh of relief when she did not broach any of these.

Mac found himself alone at the crime lab. It was dark and only the lights emitted by the computers were illuminating the forsaken place. His heart raced as he felt the familiar sensation of this very situation he was in. It had happened before, not more than a year ago. He was standing at the same spot he was now, alone, and confused. He heard the familiar clacking of high heeled-shoes against the hard, cold, stone floor and turned around to the direction of the sound. He could see a faint shadow of a figure coming close to him, and though the face of the woman was still concealed by the dark hallway, he could always recognize that shadow, that aura, that form, even after all these years.

Finally, the woman stood in front of him, where a big computer monitor could reflect its brightness on her face. Even though he already knew who she was even before he could see her face, his breath still hitched at the back of his throat when he saw her. She was as beautiful as he could remember. She was as beautiful since the first time he laid his eyes on her.

"Claire…" Mac almost whispered, fearing that if he said her name loud enough, she might disappear.

Claire smiled at him, but her eyes were melancholic. "Mac…"

"I miss you. I've never forgotten you." Mac said, still unbelieving his eyes.

"I know. I miss you too." Mac could see happiness in her eyes, but he could also see concern in them.

"I… I met someone, Claire." Mac said hesitantly. His heart was racing faster now. He did not know what to expect. He was sure that she would not be selfish to tell him that he should not have done so, but he was afraid that she might be hurt of what he did. He was afraid of hurting the love of his life.

Mac recognized the same conversation, the very same thing that he had told her before.

"I know." Claire said, smiling. "And she needs you to hold on."

Mac frowned at what Claire said. There was something familiar with those words. _I need you to hold on, Mac._ He could remember someone told him that once, but he could not put a face to those words. All he knew was his heart ached upon hearing them again now. It was as if something sad entailed those words, he just could not figure out what and why.

Claire reached out and held his face in her hand, to which Mac pressed his cheek to her palm.

"She loves you so much, Mac. Someday, everything will fall into place." Claire said, smiling forlornly at him.

Mac's frown got deeper when he heard those familiar words again. He still could not figure out who said those words, though. He felt like he knew who said those, deep in his heart. But it was as if it was embedded so deep in his heart that he could not find it now. He felt like clawing in the shallow part of his heart and no matter how much he dug, he could not reach the bottom of it. He knew that the answer to who said those words, and who Claire was referring to that loved him so much was at the pit of his heart and he felt this dire need to get to its abyss but he could not. He was starting to feel desperate and it was fast becoming agonizingly painful not being able to grasp at the answer.

Mac could not see Claire anymore. She had disappeared. But in the dark that had enveloped him, he heard Claire's voice, loud and clear.

"At the right time, Mac"

That night, Christine did not hear Mac utter Jo's name. In its place, she heard the most heart wrenching, most soul tearing whimper she had ever heard that ever came out of Mac.

* * *

**Thank you guys for reading. I will try to update more often 'cause I have plenty of time to do so, since we're observing Easter here. And please don't forget to write some reviews for me, I love reading them. Enjoy, guys! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

_**From Chapter 21**_

_Mac could not see Claire anymore. She had disappeared. But in the dark that had enveloped him, he heard Claire's voice, loud and clear._

"_At the right time, Mac"_

_That night, Christine did not hear Mac utter Jo's name. In its place, she heard the most heart wrenching, most soul tearing whimper she had ever heard that ever came out of Mac._

**Chapter 22**

Mac entered his office and was surprised to see his desk to be relatively clean. Except for a couple of folders adorning his tabletop, none of the usual stack of files could be seen on his desk. He sat down on his chair and started working. When he was done with the few folders on his table, he could not believe that nobody had entered his office to give him a new batch of files which on a normal day would have been the case. Sensing something amiss, he stood up and went out of his office to try and find out the reason behind the seemingly impossible situation.

He was walking along the hall checking each lab as he went when he saw Danny with a big stack of files under his arms, walking to the opposite direction from his office. Mac frowned at what he saw and was about to call out Danny's name when he saw him enter Jo's office and placed the files on the couch. That was when he noticed the hazard-looking pile of folders around Jo's desk, on the couch, and some had even spilled over Lindsay's desk.

"Hey, Mac!" Danny greeted him as he came out of Jo's office.

Mac motioned to the direction of Jo's office. "What's happening there? Why were the files with Jo?"

Danny shrugged at Mac. "Jo asked for every file to be sent to her instead of to you. She said she wanted to double check and finalize everything before it reaches your desk."

"Did she say why?"

Danny shook his head at him. "Nope."

Mac nodded at Danny and went on his way to Jo.

"Jo, what's happening here?" Mac asked as soon as he reached her doorway.

Jo looked up at Mac and smiled. Her smile did not reach her eyes, though.

"I just want to double check everything before they reach your desk." She said, before looking back down to the file she was reading.

"Why? It's not your job." Mac said, stopping beside her to see what she was reading.

"Technically, it was my job. All reports should already be finalized before we submit it to you, right?" Jo said without looking up.

"Yeah, but I never required you to do so. This has always been my job." Mac frowned. He could sense something was wrong with Jo but he could not figure out what.

"Yup, I know. But I want to do it, for a change." Jo said, affixing her signature at the bottom of the report.

Jo was about to reach for another folder when Mac placed his hand over the same folder she was reaching for.

"Jo, are you okay?" Mac asked sincerely, his eyes probing at Jo.

Jo looked up and smiled at Mac. "What? Of course I am. My doing the hard work impossible to believe?"

"Don't fool me." Mac said, gazing deeply into her eyes, trying to find out what she was hiding from him.

"I'm not fooling you, Mac." Jo said, looking down at the folder, avoiding Mac's gaze. She tugged at the folder again but Mac pressed his hand down, not allowing her to take the folder.

Jo sighed. "Fine. As you wish."

She reached for another folder from the pile that had spilled over Lindsay's desk and opened it in front of her.

"Jo, what's wrong?" Mac's voice was soft, sincerity abound.

Jo sighed and faced Mac again. "Nothing's wrong, Mac. I'm fine. I was just… getting bored, that's all." She looked down at the folder again and started reading.

"Jo, this is so unfair of you." Mac said, walking around to sit on Lindsay's chair.

Jo looked up, shock on her face.

"What? Unfair? Why?" Jo asked, staring at Mac, her forehead creased in confusion.

"You did a very good job of consoling me yesterday, Jo. But now, you won't even let me return the favor." Mac said seriously.

Right after the words had left his mouth; a thought struck him, rendering his heart to race in his chest.

"Jo!" Mac exclaimed when realization dawned on him. He quickly stood up and walked back to where he was standing earlier, beside Jo.

"I'm sorry, I forgot about it." Mac said looking at Jo, willing her to look at him also.

Jo finally looked at him when she realized there was nothing more to hide, and gave him a small smile.

"I'm fine, Mac. Don't worry about me." This time, she held his gaze to let him know that there was nothing to be worried about.

Mac racked his brain to try to come up with anything comforting to say but blanked out. He was never good at this and it was frustrating him for not being able to come up with anything to say to Jo.

Jo noticed the frustration that was starting to show on his face and knew what he was trying to do. She looked at him and sighed. She did not want him to fuss over her so she thought of how to help him help her.

Finally, she stood up and opened her arms at Mac.

"A hug will do." She told him with a smile.

Mac brought his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. He noticed again that she released herself from him too soon, and frowned.

"Thanks, Mac. I appreciate it." Jo said smiling at him as if everything in the world was perfect.

Mac was not convinced, though. He knew Jo would oftentimes put up a brave face even though she was hurting inside. He missed the times when she would saunter into his office and sit on the couch or on one of the chairs in front of his desk, pouting and would just start telling him about whatever it is that was bothering her at the time. She now seldom goes to his office, let alone tells him her problems.

"Jo, if you want to talk about it, you know I'll listen, right?" Mac said, still trying to make her open up to him.

"Yes, Mac. Thank you." Jo said, showing him her most confident smile. Mac did not buy it though. He knew when she was faking it. And in a way, it hurt him to see her putting up a disguise for him. She used to be so open to him, not feeling the need to put on a mask and would just say whatever she wanted to say. Now, he wanted to ask her to put away the mask, and let him see the real Jo, to let him see her heart. But he was afraid to do so. And he would not want her to do it because he made her to, like how she asked for a hug just now. He knew she did it for him, and it was not what he wanted.

Mac just merely nodded at Jo before finally going out of her office when he was certain that she won't talk.

Jo watched Mac as he went out of her office with heavy steps. She appreciated that Mac was trying to comfort her the way she comforted him yesterday and the other night. But she was not ready to tell him everything yet. Now is just not the time. She immersed herself to work and did not leave her desk until it was time for lunch. She stood up from her desk and stretched her arms and back, before throwing her gaze to somewhere far out the window to rest her eyes. After which, she went back to her desk and started working on another case file while waiting for her lunch to be delivered.

Mac had been waiting for Jo to come into his office to give him the finalized reports but was disappointed to see a lab staff instead. He had not seen her around the lab either, which meant that she was drowning herself with work to avoid thinking about her sister, much like what he did the other day. He knew though that she would not be able to escape her thoughts when all the paper work had been done. At the end of the day, thoughts of her sister would come flooding her mind, still. And he wanted to be there when it happened, only he did not know how. He could only wish that she would come to him when it happened.

* * *

It was almost 11PM and he still had not seen her passed by his office. He went out to look for her and it proved to be not difficult when he found her where exactly he thought he would find her.

He was already nearing her office when he realized that not a single file could be seen around her but strangely enough, her head was still hanging down as if she was reading something, her right hand cradling her head. Mac had thought that there might be a last file that she was reading, or she might have already fallen asleep. With the last thought in his mind, he crept his way to her office, as silent as he could, not wanting to disturb her if she was indeed sleeping. He was already on her doorway when he thought he heard something and stopped walking. He listened carefully, and heard the same sound again. His heart hammered in his chest when he realized what was that sound. He quickly walked into her office and stopped suddenly when he saw what was on her desk that she had been looking at.

Jo sniffed again and tried to stifle her sobs. She had been looking at her photo with Leanne when she went home that Christmas. It was their last picture together, their last Christmas together. She looked at Leanne's face and tried to look for anything that would indicate that it would be her last Christmas with them but did not see anything. All that she could see was the happiness on her face and the sparkle in her eyes. She could still remember how Leanne had hugged her when she arrived at their parents' house. She had been running late when flights from Virginia were delayed and she was not able to book an earlier flight because she had to close a case. Leanne had teased her the whole night through saying that maybe she should try and look for a boyfriend so that somebody could tell her to stop working and enjoy life. Then she started enumerating boys' names from Jo's yearbook asking her to hook up with them, saying that maybe one of them was her soul mate. Then she asked Tyler if any of his classmates' fathers were available for Jo to date. And Tyler joined his Aunt Leanne in taunting Jo, then later on even little Ellie joined them and started enumerating her male teachers' names to her. It was a very fun Christmas. It was a very happy family reunion. One that nobody would expect was the last.

Jo tried to stop it but she lost control of her emotions and was left with nothing else to do when another sob came out of her. She pressed her head harder onto her palm and covered her mouth when she felt another sob about to escape from her. She then heard someone say her name in a gentle voice that was also laced with sadness, but was full of concern. She had thought she was imagining it and ignored it. But then she felt his presence first, before she felt his hand as he placed it on her shoulder.

"Jo…" Mac called her again, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Jo finally looked up to him and quickly wiped at her tears. She forced a smile and saw Mac shaking his head at her.

"You don't have to do that, Jo. You don't have to hide." Mac said, looking bleakly at her. He had never seen her this miserable, and a part of him wanted to believe that this was all a dream. But the soul-baring, heart-tearing, glistening hazel eyes that were staring back at him were so real, it was as if the grief in them could suddenly come out and claw at him.

Mac watched as Jo tried to take a grip of herself. He admired her determination to search for whatever little strength that might have been left inside her to put on another brave face. But he sighed a relief when he saw her finally surrendered and let her tears flow freely on her face, lowering her face. He lowered himself also so that he was of the same level as her and clasped her hands. He felt her squeezed his hand back as tears poured from her eyes and when a sob escaped her, she gripped his hands tightly. Through her grips, he could feel how much she was hurting. It was as if she was transferring the pain that she was feeling into him through her hands.

Jo shut her eyes as pain convulsed through her body. She clutched harder at Mac's hands as waves of intense pain came flooding her heart.

Mac could not take it anymore and finally pulled Jo into his arms. He held her tight when he felt her body shaking and started running his hand on her back, trying to comfort her. He could not fathom what he had just witnessed. Though he was familiar with this kind of pain, his mind could not process that it was Jo who was being like this. That it was the ever-cheerful Jo who was crying in his arms right now. That it was the brave woman who was clutching tightly at his shirt as if afraid that he would let her go. But since he saw the tears in her eyes tonight, he had already made a silent vow to himself that he would never let her go unless she wanted him to. He would not release her until she stopped crying. He would not deny her whatever she would need to get through this day and even tomorrow. He had resolved to support her, to be with her, all the way through.

Jo was still trying to stop her tears from flowing, but the more she resisted them, the more they flowed. She felt pain gripped tighter and tighter at her heart, until finally when nothing, not even an ounce of anything was left, her tears stopped flowing.

Mac felt her stopped crying, then felt her hands starting to loosen their grip on his shirt. He patted her head in the hope that she would feel comfortable enough to stay cradled in his arms but he was disappointed when she totally released her hold on him and finally leaned back to look at him. She was still sniffling but Mac could see that the dark clouds had already been swept away.

Jo gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Mac. I'll always remember that." Jo said in a calm voice. "I'm sorry for crumpling your shirt and for staining your shirt with tears." Jo said, brushing at the spot where her tears had soaked their way through.

"Don't worry about it, Jo. Are you alright, now?" Mac inquired, his inquisitive eyes looking for any signs that would tell him that she was not yet okay.

Jo nodded at him. "I'm alright now. Thank you so much, Mac."

Mac nodded at her and stood up. He was amazed at the collected woman in front of him who was, just moments ago, pouring her heart out, but now was looking at him as if he had just imagined her tears and sobs. He sat at the couch on the spot closest to where she was sitting to make sure that she won't be alone when another outburst comes into her.

Jo took the picture that she was looking at earlier and showed it to Mac.

"She's Leanne, my sister. That's our last picture together. It was taken during Christmas when I went home to celebrate it with my family. That's our last Christmas with Leanne."

Mac noticed that though Jo's voice was sad, he could also recognize acceptance in her voice. He waited for Jo to continue, hoping that she would finally let him into her heart.

"I was usually calmer than this, Mac. And I had thought that after meeting the person who got Leanne's heart, I could finally be at peace of this reality. And I was. Leanne was an organ donor. Her heart was given to a man who had been suffering from a heart disease. I felt different after meeting him. But tonight was just… I don't know… intense, I guess. Maybe because of everything that had been happening around me… I missed her terribly." Jo looked at the picture again and ran her thumb across Leanne's smiling face. "I miss her so much. I used to go to her whenever I'm confused about something, and then she would tease me a little before she'd give the soundest advice I could ever get. Now she's gone and I'm standing in another crossroad again, and I don't know which way to go. I felt the need to talk to her, ask for her advice, for her support. Even a sign would do. But…" Jo shrugged her shoulders. "I got none."

"I know I'm not the best person to confide into, you made it clear to me that time" Mac said smiling at the memory "But I'm just here, Jo. If you needed someone to listen, that's where I excel." Mac grinned at Jo's smiling expression, glad that he got her to at least smile after what had just happened.

"Thank you, Mac. I'm really grateful."

"Always, Jo. Are you ready to go home? It's already late. Ellie's alone at home?" Mac asked when he realized it was already closing to midnight. He had also realized that Christine had not called him yet to ask him to go home but then remembered that his phone was inside his jacket pocket, and he left it in his office. He could only hope that it would not lead to another argument.

"Yeah. I told her I'll be working late, called her about an hour ago." Jo said, putting back the picture inside her wallet, and started picking up bits and pieces of her things before turning her desk lamp off.

"Wait for me for a while, I'll just get my things then I'll drive you home." Mac said and started jogging to his office.

"It's okay, Mac. I can drive. Thanks for the offer." Jo said smiling, making Mac stop in the process.

Mac's face fell. He did not want to over-think things but he felt like she was avoiding him. She was avoiding too much of his companionship.

"Jo, it's already late and after what happened in there…" Mac walked with Jo until she stopped by his office.

"I'm okay now, Mac. Don't worry. I'll be safe." Jo said patting his shoulder "You have to go home too, Christine might already be worried sick. Thank you again, Mac. Goodnight." Jo smiled one last time at him before proceeding to the elevator and waited for it to send her down to the parking garage.

Mac went inside his office and hastily shut down his computer, grabbed his jacket off the hook and turned off his desk lamp. He was just a couple of steps away from the door to his office, about to walk out when he saw the elevator doors closed. He sighed and slowly closed his office door behind him and walked to the elevator, pressed the down button and waited.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Thanks for still reading, guys. And more thanks for the reviews and comments that I always look forward to. Please keep them coming :) Guest reviewer/s, thank you! :)**_

* * *

_**From Chapter 22**_

"_I'm okay now, Mac. Don't worry. I'll be safe." Jo said patting his shoulder "You have to go home too, Christine might already be worried sick. Thank you again, Mac. Goodnight." Jo smiled one last time at him before proceeding to the elevator and waited for it to send her down to the parking garage._

_Mac went inside his office and hastily shut down his computer, grabbed his jacket off the hook and turned off his desk lamp. He was just a couple of steps away from the door to his office, about to walk out when he saw the elevator doors closed. He sighed and slowly closed his office door behind him and walked to the elevator, pressed the down button and waited._

**Chapter 23**

Jo woke up with a start, and quickly looked at the clock on her nightstand when she realized it was silent. She bolted upright when she saw that it was already almost 11AM and scampered her way out of her tangled blanket. She had successfully released herself from the confinement of her bed and was about to dash to the bathroom when she realized what day it was.

She always set her week's day off on September 13.

She sat back on her bed and took a deep breath, her mind replaying scenes of last night. What she told Mac was true. She was usually a lot calmer than what he saw last night but she was in a very difficult situation again now, a situation she had not been in a long time. She was confused, and she got scared. She tried to grasp on something to hold on to but found none. That was what triggered the intense emotion: when she felt helpless and miserable.

Jo thought of how worried Mac was about her, last night. When he caught her red-handed, crying in her dimmed office, she tried to put on a brave face, but he stopped her. He wanted her to be herself when she's with him. Actually she missed being like that around him. She missed the way how she was when she's with him, before.

What pushed her emotion over the edge was when he told her that she did not have to put on a mask. It had felt so true like it came from his heart, and she knew it did, that was why she'd let her emotions go after a final attempt of reigning in her tears. She was grateful when he held her hands, because it was where she _held on_. She felt like finally, she found something to hold on to, when previously she found none. And it was when all the pain in her heart was released through her tears. It was like a great dam that had been broken, releasing the water inside, with no other option to stop it. When Mac pulled her into him, she let him because she felt like she was about to be consumed by grief and needed something to help her stay afloat. She clutched at Mac's shirt when she felt the pain overcoming all of her; it was so strong that she could not even stop, could not even think, and could not even bring herself to care whether anybody might see them and what they would think of them.

When the tears had been finally drained, along with her sorrow, she felt… renewed. The outburst felt like a coping mechanism of her heart, like it was a way of resetting itself. She had never cried like that in a very long time, and yet when she did, it left her with nothing but a sense of being revitalized.

After the crying had stopped, she felt the need to tell Mac a little bit more about Leanne, in addition to what she had already told him the other night. So in the briefest summary she could come up with, she told him about their last Christmas with Leanne, that she's an organ donor, and that she used to go to her every time she found herself standing in a forked road.

She appreciated that Mac listened to her, and just let her talk and say whatever she wanted to say, without asking her any questions. She did notice the inquisitiveness of his eyes, though when she had said that she's facing a dilemma again. Thankfully, he did not ask anything about it, otherwise, how could she tell him that he's part of the forked road? And she was also grateful for his attempt to make her smile, and when he showed concern for Ellie. But she was more than thankful that she had gotten her senses back, enough to decline his offer to drive her home. Not for anything else, but she could not let her guards down in this aspect. It would be like playing with fire, and she did not want to get burned. Things had been getting a little more difficult considering they both needed each other when grief for their loved ones started coming back, but she knew when to draw the line. She had to. Otherwise, all of her efforts might be proven futile.

She noticed though when Mac's face showed disappointment when she declined his offer to send her home. She knew he cared for her, for all of them. And he was really worried about her, like how he would get worried if it was Don or Lindsay who had had that kind of meltdown. But she did not want to venture further; for her, it was enough to know that he cared for her _that much_. It had to be enough.

Jo reached for her phone to check if she had any messages and bit on her bottom lip when she saw multiple texts and calls from Cade. Two of the messages and one of the calls were made last night, and the rest were agitated texts made this morning, followed by multiple calls. She had silenced her phone after she called Ellie from the lab last night, thinking that she would notice when her phone vibrates to indicate any call or text. But she forgot all about her phone after her meltdown and left it on silent the whole night through.

Jo dialed Cade's number and it was answered only after the first ring.

"Jo, are you alright?" came Cade's worried voice.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry Cade. I forgot that my phone's on silent and I was only able to check my phone just now." Jo said apologetically.

Cade sighed on the other end "Well, thank God you're okay. I was so worried about you, I thought something might have happened to you again."

Jo felt guilt starting to bother her again. "I'm really sorry, Cade. I was not aware of your texts and calls. I'm really sorry."

"It's alright, Jo. As long as you're fine."

"I am. Don't worry."

Jo had not told him about Leanne, yet. And she thought it would be better if she would tell him personally, when she got the chance to. They talked for a few minutes more before finally hanging up, giving Jo time to prepare some quick lunch before she go out of the house to run some errands.

* * *

Mac could only be relieved when he went home last night and Christine did not make a big fuss out of him not taking her calls when she tried reaching him when he did not show up at their home without so much as a text to inform her that he would be staying late at the crime lab. He just told her that he stepped out of his office and forgot that his phone was in his jacket pocket and it was hanging in his office's coat rack. He did not tell her about Jo, though. First, he thought it would be improper for him to tell anybody else about Jo's most kept secret, the one that rendered her vulnerable, and second, he was afraid that Christine might think more into it. He could not understand why when it comes to Jo, he would always be too careful on what he would tell Christine, and sometimes he would just opt to not say anything at all to her, for fear that Christine might misunderstand him.

When he arrived at the crime lab this morning, his eyes immediately sought Jo's office to see if she was already in. When he realized that she was not and it was still too early for any of his team to have had already arrived, he waited patiently. When everybody was already present and he still had not seen her, he felt troubled. He took out his phone from his pocket intending to call Jo when he saw the date on his phone. It was only then that he remembered that Jo was on her day off today, and put his phone away.

* * *

It was already nearing four in the afternoon when Jo had finally finished her long list of 'To-Dos". Faced with a dilemma of nothing else to do and finding that going home to an empty apartment, not appealing, she decided to go to a park and relax a bit. She was peacefully sitting on one of the wooden benches, surrounded by greeneries, hydrangeas, roses, globe thistles, and facing a fountain, when her phone rang.

Jo took her phone out of her coat's pocket and frowned when she saw Mac's name flashing.

"Hey Mac. You have a case for me?" Jo said on the phone when she thought it was why he was calling her.

"No, I just want to know how you're doing." Mac said.

"I'm good. I thought you needed me for a case." Jo chuckled lightly.

Mac heard her chuckle and finally let go of the tiny piece of anxiety that had been bugging him since this morning.

"No. I just want to make sure that you're fine." Mac said, concern still evident in his voice.

"I'm fine, Mac. It felt good, after crying like that. I mean, I felt like I can now face the world and just yell 'Bring it on! I'm ready for whatever you'd throw my way!" Jo laughed. She was not exaggerating. It was really how she feels right now, like when a storm had just passed, and the sky was so clear, without any signs of cloud in it.

Mac laughed at what Jo had just said. He could just see her saying it, how her eyes would dance, and her face would brighten, and maybe there would also be a hand gesture to go with those. He could only wish that he could really see her when she said it.

"Okay, I'm convinced." He chuckled again. "Where are you by the way?"

"I'm at a park." Jo said simply.

"Park?" Mac confirmed.

"Yeah. I had just ticked off the things that I gotta finish and was just relaxing a little, looking at the flowers… wow, the flowers here, Mac. They're just so good to look at. I'm being surrounded by purples, yellows, whites, pinks, reds, all of the colors from the color wheel, really." Jo sighed contentedly. "The world's just beautiful; so colorful, so vibrant, so… lively."

Mac smiled at what Jo said. Only she could say such things, could see the beauty in the world after the arduous event she had to endure last night, and at the saddest day she had to go through today.

"Sounds like you're enjoying your day off. I won't bother you then. I'll just see you tomorrow, Jo." Mac finally said, wanting to give her more time to enjoy herself before she goes back to being a mother later and a CSI tomorrow.

"Alright, Mac. See ya." Jo said jovially before hanging up. She sat there taking in her surroundings until she finally stood up to go home at half past four, excited for what she planned to prepare for her dinner with Ellie.

Last night, by the time Jo had parked her car at their apartment, Ellie was already fast asleep. She tiptoed her way around the apartment and silently crept her way to Ellie's room. She looked at Ellie's sleeping form for a while and gently placed a kiss on her forehead before she turned away to go to her own room. She had just taken a step away from her bed, when she heard Ellie's voice.

"Mom, are you okay?" Ellie's sleepy voice said.

"Yes, baby. I'm fine. I thought you're already asleep?" Jo said, sitting beside Ellie, facing her, when she sat up in bed.

"I am, but I've been waiting for you. I… I know what day is today… I just want to make sure that you're fine." Ellie said, looking closely at Jo's face. She could see her eyes all puffy, and still red-rimmed, letting her on that she had just cried for a good long while. She had already sensed that Jo did not stay at the lab until this late just to finish some work, when she called her earlier. She just did not expect to see her like this. It had been years since her mother had cried that much and she could only wish that someone was there with her when she did.

Jo smiled at her daughter. "My Ellie… come here." Jo said, opening her arms for Ellie.

Ellie hugged her mother tightly.

"I'm fine, baby. I love you." Jo said against Ellie's hair.

"I love you Mom. I'm just here, okay?" Ellie said, leaning away from her mother to look into her eyes.

She could see that even though Jo's eyes were melancholic, there was a peaceful expression on her face. She did not know what exactly had happened before her mother came home, but she was thankful to see that serene look on her face.

Jo nodded and kissed Ellie's forehead again. "Thank you, Ellie."

* * *

It had been a month since that night when she broke down in front of Mac. And true enough, after all those pain that she had cried away, she felt lighter, as if a big burden was lifted off her shoulders.

"Not enough sleep?" Don asked mockingly.

"It's 7:00AM! Nowhere near the time I had set my alarm to." Jo said while trying to stop herself from yawning.

"Now here's the man who's got no qualm in not having any sleep." Don quipped when he saw the shiny, black Avalanche crawling its way through heavy foot traffic.

Jo looked up to see Mac parked his car and got off it. He walked towards them, his eyes scanning the perimeter.

"Morning, man. You look tired." Don greeted his boss.

"What a nice way to greet me a good morning." Mac said when he stopped in front of them.

"Apparently, Don wanted a job greeting people sarcastically." Jo said, swatting Don's arm.

"I take it that you were his first victim?" Mac asked Jo, a small smile on his lips.

"Oh yes. At first I thought he was trying to be cute with me." Jo said, making Don blush a little.

Mac raised his eyebrows at Don, a smile creeping up his lips. "Come on, time to solve crime."

A man was found dead by his wife at their home with a knife stuck in his abdomen. Nobody else was with them, and his wife could not explain how the incident had happened.

"She said she was sleeping in their room when she heard crashing sounds downstairs. When she opened her eyes, she did not see her husband beside her and thought that he had heard the sound and went downstairs to check. She went down as well and was shocked to see her husband lying face down on the floor." Don recited from his notepad while walking towards Mac.

Mac was squatting down beside the victim, collecting evidences from the cadaver, while Jo was collecting bloodied glass shards beside him.

"Any signs of forced entry?" Mac asked Don, standing up to look at him.

"Nope. In fact, according to Mrs. Johnson, everything was in its proper places. Except for the knife that's in her husband's abdomen, the shattered coffee table, and the toppled armchair where the victim fell next, everything was where they were before they went up to their bedroom." Don answered, already familiar with the victim's wife's answer when he asked the same question earlier.

"So, either our perp was a very careful and meticulous person, or this was suicide." Jo concluded, upon hearing Don's answer.

"Yep! Something like that." Don nodded, his forehead creased.

"Or someone's lying." Mac remarked.

After collecting evidences, and after the body was taken away for autopsy, Mac, Jo, and Don went out of the crime scene. Mac was still talking to Don by the front lawn, while Jo was trying to spot some hidden clue at the front yard of the house that might help them solve this case when she saw someone lurking just a bit to the side, behind the police tape. She watched him discreetly, thinking that there was something with the man, being so curious and almost fearful. She watched him as he scanned the area for something or someone, when his eyes fell on her. The man jerked in shock a little, not expecting someone watching him back and started to back his way through the small crowd that had gathered to see what was going on.

Jo ducked her head through the police tape and went after the man.

"Stop! NYPD!" She screamed, jogging towards the man.

Mac and Don ran after Jo when they heard her scream and eventually saw the man running to the dark alley, Jo in hot pursuit.

"NYPD! Stop right there!" Mac shouted.

Don went the other way and tried to work the alley's end in his mind. When he thought he knew where the alley would lead the man to, he ran faster that way, intending to wait for the man when he comes out of the alley. Don had just stopped running when the man came running to his direction.

"Stop running. You won't have anywhere to go." Don said calmly, a smug look on his face.

Jo stopped running when she saw Don putting the man's hands in handcuff. Mac was close behind her and stopped running too when he saw the same.

"Still able to get your morning run, huh!" Don said smiling, when he passed by Mac and Jo, his hands on the man's shoulders.

Mac smiled back at Don and then turned to look at Jo's flushed face.

"You okay?"

"No. I haven't eaten anything yet, I don't know where I got the energy to run. Damn this man, whoever he is." Jo said, trying to catch her breath.

Mac chuckled at her. "Let's go. I'll buy you something for breakfast on our way back to the lab."

"Thanks Mac, but I'll just raid the pantry when we get to the lab." Jo said, starting to walk beside Mac towards their cars.

* * *

"Drake Hill. A doctor by profession… been practicing for the last twenty four years. Widower with three kids, now all married. Lives alone in a house located five blocks away from the Johnson's." Jo enumerated in her low voice, slowly dragging the important words out, while ticking things off on her clipboard as she went. "…impressive credentials you got here, Doc, Straight A student, graduated top of the class in Med school…" Jo put the clipboard down on the table and gazed deeply in Drake Hill's eyes. She was sitting across him in the interrogation room with nobody else inside with them.

Drake Hill tried to look away from Jo's gaze but could not do it. It was as if he was being hypnotized by those captivating hazel eyes that were looking deeply at his, as if she could look into his soul.

"Why did you run away from me? Do you have anything to hide? What or who were you looking for? 'Cause you know, people don't usually run away from cops, except if they're…" Jo paused for drama before leaning closer to Drake Hill and squinted at him, "guilty of something."

Don chuckled at what he was seeing from the other side of the one-way mirror. He was standing beside Mac, both of them watching Jo interrogate Drake Hill. Mac was unconsciously staring helplessly at Jo, and much like Drake, he could not seem to tear his gaze away from her either. It was only when he heard Don's chuckle that he came into his senses and had only managed to smile at Don.

"It won't take too long now, if he's not strong enough." Don said, anticipating a confession of any kind from Drake.

Drake Hill took in a deep breath.

"I was looking for Mrs. Johnson. I knew their family. Mrs. Johnson and I were friends and schoolmates since Junior High. I just want to know if she's okay."

Jo leaned back in her seat and tilted her head to her left, her left hand draped around her waist, her right hand twirling a pen with her fingers.

"Then why do you have to run away? If you want to know what happened to Mrs. Johnson, the most logical thing to do was to ask me when I approached you. Instead, I haven't even taken a single step towards you, when you backed away from the crowd." Jo said raising her eyebrows at him.

"I'd like to consult my lawyer." Drake Hill said.

"Damn it." Don muttered.

Jo entered the room where Mac and Don had been watching them.

"You know, I don't think he killed Allan Johnson. But he was definitely hiding something." Jo said looking at Drake Hill through the glass.

"He was too calm for someone who had just killed another person. Unless he'd done it a lot of times already." Mac supplied to Jo's theory.

"Which does not fit his credentials. Though there's always a possibility." Jo countered.

"Let's wait for what the evidences would tell us, then." Mac said as he moved towards the door to go back to the lab.

"Safe bet." Jo said, following him.

* * *

Mac went to find Lindsay who was processing the glass shards but he was stopped by Danny midway.

"Mac, no other prints were present at the crime scene than the Johnsons. The knife handle was only bearing a single donor too. Allan Johnson." Danny said, pointing at the result of the DNA test.

Sheldon approached the two men with a tablet bearing the autopsy report from Sid.

"Mac, according to Sid, Allan Johnson's stab wound from the knife could not have killed him. He could have suffered from internal bleeding, but with the time frame from when he was stabbed to when the paramedics arrived, he could have survived."

"Then why did he die?" Mac asked Sheldon, frowning.

Sheldon pressed the Next button on the tablet and showed it again to Mac.

"Allan Johnson did not survive the stab wound because his body was already weakened by cancer. He was already suffering from terminal stage of pancreatic cancer."

Mac looked up to Sheldon upon reading Sid's report.

"Pancreatic cancer? If he's already dying, why would he kill himself?" Mac asked.

"Maybe because of the unbearable pain? It could be very painful." Sheldon suggested.

"Could be." Mac said, walking towards Lindsay.

"But why would he do it in the living room when he could easily do it in the kitchen where he got the knife?" Danny said, trying to keep up with Mac.

"Maybe he sat there and waited until he had gathered enough guts to do it." Mac suggested as they entered the trace lab.

"Or, he waited for the onset of pain before he did it. Tox report shows the last pill he had taken was four hours before he died." Sheldon said.

Mac nodded. "Possible."

When Lindsay told them that there was nothing inconsistent with the glass shards and the blood was a match to Allan Johnson, Mac asked Jo to talk to Grace Johnson. He wanted to know the whole story, and try to find out what Drake Hill was hiding from them, through Grace Johnson.

* * *

"Mrs. Johnson, I'm sorry for your loss." Jo said as she sat down opposite Grace Johnson in the interrogation room. She knew Mac was at the other side of the mirror again, watching Grace Johnson's every word and movement.

Grace nodded at Jo, fatigue and exhaustion evident in her face.

"I know you're already tired after the very unfortunate event this morning, but we need to know some more information. We'd make this very quick though so you could make the necessary arrangements for your husband's funeral."

Grace nodded again at Jo, tears brimming in her eyes.

"We found out that Mr. Johnson was suffering from pancreatic cancer and it's now at its final stage." Jo stated gently, looking at Grace.

"Yes. He was diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer just about a year ago. He underwent radiation therapy but at the middle of the year, the doctor said it had metastasized to his lungs, advancing the cancer. He was advised on the other possible treatments but after knowing the survival rate, he just gave up. He said he would just let nature take its course. The doctors gave him medicines to alleviate the pain, and he underwent surgery so he could at least eat, but that's it." Grace Johnson paused a while to take a sip from the glass of water that Jo had poured her.

"There were times when the cancer would be really bad and I would find myself sitting on the corner of the bed. I could not even bring myself to touch him. He was writhing in pain, screaming in anguish…" Grace Johnson had been so strong and so determined in putting up a brave facade but at this moment, she could not stop her tears from streaming down anymore.

"And then when he gets tired of it all, you would only hear sobs from him. And that's when I would go near him. And he would look at me through hooded eyes, tears soaking his pillow. When he sees me crying, he would hold my hand and graze his thumb on my knuckles to comfort me. He was the one in pain but he would still comfort me." Grace wiped at her tears as she remembered those painful nights when her husband would suffer the most.

Jo reached over and held Grace's hand in an attempt to comfort her. She was about to tell her that they could take a break first but Grace continued talking.

"When we would be blessed with a non-painful day, he would ask me to sit with him on the porch, and he would sing to me, much like how he sung to me when he was still courting me and even after we got married. Even when he was already diagnosed with cancer, if he was well enough, he would not only sing to me but would dance with me even without music, and he would twirl me around like how we used to dance when we were younger." Grace now had a distant look in her eyes, as she reminisced their life together.

"The past few nights had been a living hell to him. There were times when I would be awakened by his screaming and I would not know what to do. I would force myself to go near him, but he would shake my hands away. I would be hurt but I know it was not his intention. The pain was just too much. He would ask me to leave our room and when I would not budge, he would yell at me to leave. When I still won't leave, he would beg me to leave him alone. And even if I did not want to, I would finally leave because I could not stand to see his image as the cancer consumes him, alive. When I left the room, that's when I would hear the most excruciating sound he would make. And that's when I'd understand that he did not want me to witness the extent of his suffering that's why he'd ask me to leave."

Jo swallowed her tears back. She knew she could not show any emotion while interrogating but she could only imagine how difficult it had been for the couple. She could only wish that she would not have to experience the same, and in the event that she had to go through some kind of suffering, someone would be there to hold her hands and give her courage.

"Last night was a good night. I did not hear him suffer in any way and maybe that's when he chose to end his life. He ended his life, while he still could. Since the cancer had turned into the worst, he would often apologize to me. He said he did not expect things to be this way. Once, a long time ago, he promised me that he would take care of me until his last breath. He would not let me suffer or experience any hardship. He said he was sorry that he was not able to keep his promise and it was me who ended up taking care of him. I told him that I did not regret my decision to marry him. He had been a good husband. When we learnt that I could never bear him a child, he did not blame me. He continued loving me and did not see me as a liability. Twenty six years of marriage, and he did not, not even once, let me feel that I was inferior, knowing how much he loved children. He had given me unconditional love, since the day he told me about his feelings for me."

Jo blinked back her tears again and tried to calm herself down.

"Mrs. Johnson, do you know Doctor Drake Hill?" Jo asked Grace after the latter took a couple sips of water.

Grace's eyes shot up at Jo upon hearing Drake's name. "Yes. He was a very dear friend. Why, Detective?" Grace's forehead frowned in confusion.

Jo noticed the use of past tense 'was' but she did not say anything about it, and thought of bringing it up later. "He ran away from me this morning when he saw me looking at him. I was wondering if maybe he was running away because…." Jo did not get the chance to finish what she was saying when Grace interrupted her.

"You thought he killed my husband?"

"Well, we don't have evidence that would indicate that he did but his running away from me like that would render him suspicious." Jo said, sensing something more about Drake Hill and the Johnsons.

"Did you ask him why he ran away?"

"Yes but he did not say anything. He just saw me looking at him and he immediately ran away. When I asked him about what he was doing there as if looking for something or _someone_, he said he was looking for you and he wanted to make sure that you were alright. But still won't explain why he felt the need to escape." Jo asked suggestively. As much as she sympathized with Grace's loss, she had to do her job and part of it was to be skeptical.

Grace did not say anything for a good while and appeared to be in deep thoughts. Jo waited patiently as to what she would tell her next, giving her as much time as she needed. Finally, with her face showing unfaltering determination, she looked up at Jo.

"Is he still here?" Grace asked Jo, who was caught off guard with the underlying courageousness in her voice.

"Yes, he's still here, talking with his lawyer." Jo confirmed, her heart starting to pound in her chest.

"Would it be possible for you Detective to please let him stand at the other side of the room" Grace was pointing at the one-way mirror "and let him listen to what I am going to say? But please don't let him know that I asked for him to be there." Grace said adamantly to both Jo's curiosity and astonishment.

When Jo did not say anything, Grace tried to convince her.

"Detective, you wanted to know who is Drake Hill in our lives, right? You wanted to know how he's connected to this event?" Grace stared determinedly at Jo.

"Let him listen, Detective and I'll tell everything." Grace said, laying all her cards down.


	24. Chapter 24

_**From Chapter 23**_

_When Jo did not say anything, Grace tried to convince her._

"_Detective, you wanted to know who is Drake Hill in our lives, right? You wanted to know how he's connected to this event?" Grace stared determinedly at Jo._

"_Let him listen, Detective and I'll tell everything." Grace said, laying all her cards down._

**Chapter 24**

Jo looked at the one-way mirror to where she thought Mac was standing as if asking his permission to do what Grace Johnson had just asked her to do.

Mac knew that Jo was seeking his permission before carrying out Grace's request. He was thinking of the possible implications of this request to the case especially when they had no idea what Grace Johnson would say later. In the end, after considering and reconsidering the different factors, he had decided that the risk would not be that big and it would not be that damaging to the case. There was no evidence that Drake or Grace killed Allan. Based on the evidences, it seemed that Allan killed himself. They were ready to classify the case as suicide and so he allowed Drake Hill to be let in with him to listen to what Grace Johnson would say.

When Don led Drake Hill to the room where Mac was, Drake sucked in a breath and almost froze to the spot when he saw Grace through the glass, sitting at the other side. Don had to press his hand gently on his back before Drake finally took his place beside Mac. Nobody said anything to him and he did not ask why he was even there. His eyes just stayed glued at Grace.

Mac was looking at Drake's expression and saw distress in his eyes. He could only hope that his decision to give in to Grace's request would pay off. Drake's lawyer had wanted to come with him, but he told him to wait for him outside. He said he would ask for him when he needed his assistance.

Jo entered the room where Grace was when she saw Don and Drake entered the observation room. She sat down to where she was sitting earlier and opened Drake Hill's file in front of her.

"Mrs. Johnson, do you know Doctor Drake Hill?" Jo asked again, knowing that they were being watched by Drake.

"Yes. He's a dear friend." Grace answered.

"I saw him scanning the area of the crime scene this morning and he ran away when he saw me looking at him. Would you have any idea why?" Jo asked, her heart starting to race again.

Grace shook her head at Jo. "No, I won't know."

"When I asked him what he was doing near the crime scene, scanning the area as if looking for something or for someone, he said he was looking for you. He said he wanted to make sure that you're fine." Jo said, noticing the slight change in Grace's demeanor.

Grace gently nodded her head at Jo. "Like what I told you, he was a dear friend. He might be concerned about me."

"Was?" For some reason, Jo felt that Grace purposefully repeated the use of past tense for her to pick up on. She waited for what she felt the reason why Grace wanted Drake to listen in.

Mac felt Drake Hill tensed up beside him when Jo confirmed the term Grace had used to describe their friendship. He looked at Don, and realized that Don had picked up on it too, when he looked back at him.

"Drake and I were friends since Junior High. Although he was older than me, we became the best of friends. We were neighbors and would hang out with each other; sometimes just us two, oftentimes, with our mutual friends. When he decided that he wanted to become a doctor, I supported him. I could still remember vividly how his eyes were dancing as he tells me about his dream of treating people." Grace's eyes lit up at the memory.

"I was happy for him, until he told me that he got in at Stanford. I did not tell him then, but as much as I was happy that he would finally take the initial step towards his ultimate dream, I was afraid of what it would mean for us. By that time, I already know…" Grace hesitated and looked at the wall opposite the one-way mirror. "I already know that I was in love with my best friend." Grace paused for a while, gathering her thoughts.

Drake stepped closer to the mirror, his hands pressed against the wall. Mac could see Drake's jaw trembling and kept an eye on him. He could only hope that Drake won't do anything drastic and make him regret that he allowed him to listen in.

Jo looked at the almost 60-year old lady in front of her and could make out her strong façade, but she could also see the weathered look on her face. It was a look that when you see it, you'd know that the person had gone through a lot of painful experiences in life.

"So he went to Stanford and I was left here in New York. At first we would exchange letters, telling each other about school, new friends, old friends, professors, we would whine about homework… and then the letters that used to come once a week were reduced to twice a month, then once a month, until it finally stopped coming. I wrote him three letters after his last, and when I did not receive any more letters from him, I decided to stop writing him also." Grace looked down at the table and smiled a bitter smile. "It was a sunny morning, I could still remember. It was a Saturday, two weeks after my graduation. My mother was talking to someone outside our home, and I was sitting on the couch, trying to find something good to watch on TV. When she finally came in, she placed her grocery bags on the kitchen counter and walked happily to where I was sitting. She sat beside me and told me that it was Mrs. Hill she was talking to a moment ago. And in a very cheerful voice, my mother told me that Drake was already engaged to be married." Grace paused and swallowed.

"My best friend, my first love was getting married to someone else and he did not even tell me." Grace brushed off a single tear that had escaped her eyes but then a couple more came running down her cheeks.

Mac saw Drake balled his fists and pressed them against the wall. His face was a clear picture of agony.

"He sent an invitation to our family but I did not attend his wedding. My parents could not understand why, our friends could not understand too. I did not say anything to anybody because I thought it would be useless. And I don't want people to take pity on me. I thought, even when I'd lost my love, at least I still got my pride intact. But I was secretly hoping that by not attending his wedding, he would try to reach me and ask me why I did not attend his wedding even when my parents did. I was prepared to tell him how I feel, thinking that it might be the last chance for me. I was not expecting for anything to change, I just want to tell him, to let him know that I love him. I waited the whole night, but no call came. I thought maybe because he was busy with the ceremony and all. When he still did not call the next day, I thought it was because they were busy preparing for their honeymoon. But when after a month, he still did not call me, I knew that he either had forgotten about me, or simply did not care at all." Grace was dabbing at the corner of her eyes, still could not stop her tears from flowing.

"I did not forget her. I just didn't know what to tell her. Didn't know how to face her. I… I never forgot her, and I'd always cared for her." Drake mumbled to himself. He was looking at Grace, his own eyes glistening with tears.

"I was working as a bank's Marketing Officer when I met Allan. His father's company was our client and Allan would often make the bank transactions. I was not supposed to transact with him but when our bank launched a new investment product, I had to present it to them. After the presentation, Allan called me to set up a meeting. He said their company was interested in our new product and would like to know more about it. After the meeting, he would always call me to inquire about random things and I would get fed up of his pestering ways. One time, I got really annoyed and told him that he could find the answers to all of his questions in the business proposal that I gave him, that unless he could not read, he was just wasting my time. When I put the receiver down, I realized what I had just done and for days, I waited for a memo from my supervisor. But nothing came and Allan did not call me anymore after that. About two weeks later, he went up to me when I was trying to hail a cab to go home and apologized for bugging me. That's when we started to become friends. Until one day, he told me that he loved me. I declined him then, and told him that I was not yet ready to enter a relationship. But the truth is…" Grace took in a deep breath. "I could not accept his love because I'm still in love with Drake. After everything that had happened, I'm still in love with him."

Jo's heart hammered in her chest when she realized how fast Grace's story was becoming familiar to her. She wanted to ask her to stop, but she could not. Somehow, she wanted to know what would happen next. She already knew how it ended, but she wanted to know how it came to that ending. Jo took a deep breath and tried to steel herself.

"Allan said he was willing to wait, no matter how long. I did not believe him. But day by day he proved to me that what he told me was true. He waited patiently until I was finally ready to receive his love." Grace smiled sadly at the memory. She could still remember everything clearly as if it had just happened yesterday.

Jo felt her hands went cold. She swallowed the lump that was starting to rise in her throat. She felt her heart ached and winced in her chest, and she could barely stop her bottom lip from quivering. She scratched at the corner of her eye, subtly wiping at it when she felt the tear that was threatening to fall down. She felt another tear in the corner of her eyes and blinked for a second too long just as Grace continued her narration.

"I fell in love with my husband for every single thing that he did for me. He did not get tired of showing me how much he loved me. We got married and I really loved him…" Grace paused as if considering if she should say what she was about to say.

Finally, "but I know that Drake still holds a special place in my heart."

Mac shifted slightly from where he was standing, and realized that he had been holding his breath. He inhaled deeply in an attempt to steady his breathing but realized that his heart was beating fast. He risked a glance at Drake and saw tears silently running down from the corner of his eyes, devastation written all over his face.

Jo could feel Grace's words breathing in her veins. It was as if she was being told the story of her own heart, and being given the rare chance to be informed of what would happen next. She could feel the beads of sweat that were starting to form on her forehead, even when her palms were already ice-cold.

"I never told Allan about Drake, until we met again, seven years ago. We were coming home from a party when we saw a car parked near our home. When we had parked our car in the garage, we went out to see if the person needed some kind of help. Allan was the one who approached the car first, and I was close behind. When the man stepped out of his vehicle, I caught only a part of his face, but it was enough to make my heart start hammering in my chest. After all those years, I could still recognize him. He looked older, but it was the same face that I loved looking at all those years ago. In the middle of a hot summer night, my legs suddenly went frigid, my blood ran cold." Grace twisted the tissue that she had been holding, in her fingers. She looked calm but also exuded an air of uncertainty.

"He was facing Allan and did not see me behind him. I heard him say that he was lost and was looking for someone. Allan smiled at him and said 'You better ask my wife because I'm poor with names', then motioned to me. When Drake turned his head around and saw me, I saw recognition in his eyes. He recognized me, and I was thankful for what he did when he realized it was me. He said he was looking for a certain person, randomly saying a name, but I knew he was lying. I could still detect when he was lying. I knew then that he was looking for me. I politely declined, telling him that I did not know anybody of that name. He thanked me, his eyes never leaving mine since he turned around to face me, until he climbed back to his car and drove away." Grace used the tissue that she had been twisting in her hands to dab at her eyes. The calm expression on her face while tears were incessantly running down her cheeks could only prove that she had been through a lot, but would stand up each and every time. But it was also what broke Jo's heart. Because she knew that behind that calm exterior, lay a heavy heart that she could only imagine how difficult to carry around.

"We used to be so close, knowing what was running in each other's minds even before we say anything… but that night, we stood there looking at each other, like two strangers that have met for the very first time." Drake's voice was full of regret and anguish, his breathing uneven, but his eyes were still trained on Grace.

Mac's heart beat so fast and so loud as if it was about to burst. He took a deep breath again to steady his breathing, and to calm himself. What Drake had just said felt so real, almost tangible to Mac. He had been in that situation not so long ago and he could still feel the same frustration that he felt then.

"I knew Allan had sensed something but he never said anything. He just changed some of his ways a bit after that night. He would often call me with not much to say really, he'd surprise me with gifts, flowers, would make more time for me… I would often catch him looking at me, as if he wanted to commit each and every one of my features into his mind." Grace sighed heavily and continued, "One thing that would always break my heart was from that night on, he would often ask me if I'm still happy with him, or if I've ever regretted marrying him. After that night, he often seemed to be bereaved and would always look somewhere far, deep and alone in his thoughts. I'd ask him what he was thinking about and he would smile at me…it's a very sad smile that I'd never saw before, and tell me nothing. He would kiss the top of my head but even in his kiss, I could feel the sorrow, the worry that he tried so hard to hide from me." Grace's face was filled with agony once again. Tears started racing amongst themselves and small sobs could be heard from her.

"When he was diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer, that night, he confessed everything to me. He said he knew I was the one Drake was looking for. He had asked around and found out about our friendship from one of our mutual friends. He was threatened because he saw Drake's importance to me when he saw my expression while talking to him, and he said as a man, he also knew what I meant to Drake, too. He said he was hurt at first when I did not tell him who Drake is, and even pretended that I do not know him, but then he realized that I did not tell him about Drake because I was protecting him. Because I did not want him to be hurt. He told me that above anything else, he would only want me to be happy. He apologized to me for not letting me go that night even when he saw how much I was hurting when I saw Drake again. He gave me a piece of paper with Drake's number and clinic address. He wanted me to go back to Drake, to according to him, the love of my life. He said he did not want to see me suffer especially when the cancer gets worse. But I did not leave him. I was not lying when I told you I never regretted marrying Allan. He loved me with all of him. He took care of me, had never hurt me, and up until the very end, he was only worried about me." Grace paused for a second. "Everything was just about me." She whispered.

Grace looked at Jo and gazed sadly into Jo's eyes.

"Even if he had known about Drake, he continued loving me, Detective. Allan told me last night, right before we went to bed, that no matter what, he would love me and never regretted loving me. He said that I was the best thing that happened to him. And I knew that marrying him was the best decision I have ever made in my whole life."

Mac saw Drake's face contorted into pure agony, his fists were balled tighter making his knuckles turn white. But his longing eyes never left Grace.

"I married her because I got her pregnant, Grace. It was you who I loved. All this time, it has only been you." Drake cried painfully, his palms flatted against the glass, talking to Grace as if she could hear her.

Mac stared ahead but he was still watching Drake from the corner of his eyes. It was just proving to be difficult for him to focus on him when his own heart felt heavier by the minute.

"Drake would always be in my heart, Detective. He would always be the love of my life. But Allan would be my only husband. I will die as Mrs. Johnson, Detective. It's the least that I could do for Allan." Grace finished, wiping tears from her eyes, peace in her expression.

Jo could only nod at Grace, her own thoughts clouding her mind. She stood up to leave the suddenly-suffocating space, after mumbling incoherent excuses to Grace. When she had finally left the room, she leaned back against the wall, blindly looking at the people milling around the precinct. She inhaled deeply, and shut her eyes for a moment, hoping it would help clear her mind. But with her eyes closed, Grace's voice was the loudest. _'Drake still holds a special place in my heart.' _ Jo opened her eyes and felt her knees go weak. She walked to the bench located at the far corner of the precinct and sat down, willing the walls to make her invisible, wanting to go through this alone. She could only hope that nobody would take notice of her sitting at the corner, using the walls to obscure herself and just leave her alone with her thoughts.

"I tried to run away in the hope that things would end as simply as it could. I did not want to complicate things for Grace. I did not want her to know that I was there. I was just there to make sure that she was alright. I got scared, and panicked when Detective Danville saw me. I intended to go there and leave unnoticed. I knew I had hurt her, and saw for myself how much I had hurt her the night I found her after so many years. My wife died a year before we moved to New York due to complications from diabetes. I had wanted to move back to New York because I want to find Grace. When all of my children had gotten married, I decided that I don't want to pretend that everything was fine, anymore. From time to time, I would pass by the Johnson's and I would see them happily dancing, or just sitting on the porch, Allan's arm draped over Grace's shoulder, and her hand resting on Allan's waist. I would watch them for a minute or two, stare at Grace before driving back to my empty house. I had since accepted that I had done the greatest mistake of my life and could never have the chance to correct it. I would just have to be contented in looking at the greatest love of my life from afar, happy in someone else's arms." Drake was still staring at Grace when he narrated his version for Mac and Don to hear. He had wanted to tell everything to Jo earlier, but he was afraid that Grace would be asked questions about him and would reopen old wounds. That was why he kept silent and consulted his lawyer instead. He had hurt her enough, and did not want to keep hurting her.

Don led Drake Hill out of the room and asked him to wait with his lawyer for the final papers. Mac had already decided to let him go, certain that he had nothing to do with the case.

When Grace had finished her narration, Mac saw Jo leave the room. He wanted to follow Jo, but he stayed rooted to the spot. He had been partly watching her the whole time and saw the emotions surfaced one by one. She tried to push everything down but it did not escape him when she subtly brushed her tears away. He could not understand why he, himself had felt so affected with what happened to Grace, Allan and Drake. He was never emotional… until now.

Something was tugging at his heart, and he had no idea what. He could feel the frustration again, the strong urge to dig deep in his heart to know what was reeling him in. He wanted to reach down to the bottom of his heart and see what that nagging thought was. His mind was telling him something, a memory that was pushing its way out. He tried to grasp at it but it immediately disappeared. He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and tried to alleviate the uneasiness that he was feeling.

When Mac had finally emerged from the room, he saw Jo sitting on one of the benches at the far corner of the precinct. She was staring at the floor, her eyes distant, and he could only guess that her mind was not even here in the precinct. She looked so distressed herself, so confused, and he had wanted to sit beside her and ask her what was bothering her, but did not. He felt like something was holding him back. He was still reeling at the intensity of his emotions and the cluelessness of where all of these emotions came from. All that he knew was it was unbecoming of him to be emotional. In fact, he had realized that he had been a little too emotional and open, recently. He wanted to know what made that change in him. He still had not decided if he liked this change. He was not used to showing people how he was feeling, and he was not used to telling people about it either. He had secluded himself for a very long while and he had always thought that he would stay that way for the rest of his life. Then things happened and he changed along them. He would admit, though, but only to himself, that letting his emotions show and talking about it could also be liberating. He just had to find the right person to show it to and to talk with, someone who would not judge him, and would just listen and understand him.

Mac looked at Jo one last time, before turning around and walked away from her.

* * *

When Jo went back to the crime lab, she saw Mac in his office, his forehead creased and with a bothered look on his face. For a second, she had wanted to go inside his office to ask him what was bothering him. The past month or so had brought them closer again, much like how their relationship was when she had just started at the lab. But then she remembered Grace's story and the good while that she spent hiding at the precinct. Jo sighed and went to her office instead.

The day was about to end with Mac and Jo working separately, not a single word uttered between them. The rest of the team could only hope that there was not a rift that was going on between their two bosses again. The past month or so had been pleasant even when they would sometimes be bombarded with cases. It had been a light, happy, working environment, balanced by Mac's strict professionalism, and Jo's eased approach. They did not want to return to how it was at the lab, a year ago, when Mac and Jo were caught in a disagreement that only both of them knew of. Everybody became too serious, nobody daring to crack a joke, people working stiffly as if all of them were in military training.

Don had already told the rest of the team how the interrogation went, and how it had affected Jo. He could not say the same about Mac, though. As everybody knows, Mac was a tough shell to crack. You would only know things about him if he chose to let you know about it. Don had noticed a shift in Mac's expression at one point, though when Grace said that Drake still held a special place in her heart. Don thought of Claire and how his friend and mentor still dearly held Claire in his heart. He could only wish that it was not posing as a problem in Mac's life with Christine.

As their day came to end, the team could only sigh in relief when they saw Jo walked into Mac's office to give him her report before she bid him good night, upon which Mac wished her a good night too, and both exchanged smiles before Jo went out of his office to go home.

Little did they know that their bosses won't be having a good night. Each would be tortured by their thoughts as a sleepless night awaits them.

* * *

**Not exactly how I wanted this chapter to be, but...well.. I hope it would still be worth your while. And, thank you for the reviews, you guys, I really love reading them. Keep them comin' :)**


	25. Chapter 25

_**From Chapter 24**_

_As their day came to end, the team could only sigh in relief when they saw Jo walked into Mac's office to give him her report before she bid him good night, upon which Mac wished her a good night too, and both exchanged smiles before Jo went out of his office to go home._

_Little did they know that their bosses won't be having a good night. Each would be tortured by their thoughts as a sleepless night awaits them._

**Chapter 25**

Jo had been arranging and rearranging things around their apartment since they've had their dinner. Ellie had been watching her mother under the pretext of reading a novel for her Literature class, sitting on the couch. She had noticed the slight frown on her mother's forehead since she got home, and Jo's unusual lack of chatter aside from the obligatory questions told her that something serious was bothering her. That was why she opted to stay where she could keep an eye on her mother, especially when Jo started cleaning the kitchen, and almost redesigned the whole place. She never did that, especially on a work night. Her mother was the queen of procrastination, after all.

"Okay Mom, just stop!" Ellie exclaimed when Jo started arranging the fold of the drapes of the windows.

Jo jumped at the sound of Ellie's voice, not even aware that her daughter had been sitting there the whole time.

"Ellie, you startled me. I thought you're in your room." Jo said, staring at her daughter with wide eyes.

"You could have noticed me if you were not too busy being bothered about something that you don't want me to know." Ellie said, closing the novel in her hands.

"What? Nothing's bothering me." Jo smiled at Ellie but it came out as a smirk.

"See? You know I'm right. Come on, Mom; tell me what's wrong before you turn this place upside down." Ellie said, putting aside the novel that she was reading.

Jo sighed before walking over to where Ellie was sitting on the couch, and sat beside her.

"We had a case earlier, and the story of the couple was so similar to the situation I'm in." Jo began, looking at Ellie to see if she understood what she meant.

"Uh huh? And then?" Ellie asked, frowning. She was not sure what to make out of Jo's introduction.

When Jo saw that Ellie was not getting her point, she gave her a brief summary of the story that Grace had shared to them.

Ellie frowned when Jo finished telling her the story.

"And you're worried, because?" Ellie asked.

It was now Jo's turn to frown at Ellie. "What you mean by that? Isn't it obvious?" Jo sighed, leaning back on the couch.

"I really don't understand, Mom." Ellie asked, her face a clear canvas of confusion.

Jo sighed again and thought of what to tell Ellie.

"After the interrogation, I stayed at the precinct and took my time in sorting out my thoughts. It felt so painful to hear their story and then remember that I am in the very same situation. You know that I love Mac, but at the precinct, while I sat there analyzing my own feelings, I realized how similar our story _really_ was." Jo paused to think of what she wants to tell Ellie. She wanted to be certain of what she would tell her, leaving no room for mistake.

"When Grace said she fell in love with Allan for all the things he did for her, my mind immediately went to Cade and all of the things that _he_ did for me." Jo was now wearing a far-off look on her face.

"And I realized that I love him for doing all those things for me, too." Jo said, tears starting to rim her eyes.

Ellie stared at Jo when her mind registered what Jo had just said.

"You love Cade, Mom?" Ellie finally asked, immediately after Jo's words had sunk in.

Jo's lips curled up slowly, forming a small smile on her face. She looked at Ellie and with all sincerity, nodded her head.

"Yes. I was just too busy thinking of how to avoid falling deeper in love with Mac that I did not realize that Cade had actually took his place in my heart. I have to admit that it was not as much as how it was about Mac, but… yeah, I do love Cade." Jo's expression suddenly changed into a sullen one when a thought entered her mind forbiddingly.

"I knew it would happen eventually. After all, we girls were just waiting for someone who would treat us good, sweep us off our feet." Ellie said playfully. "So what's the problem? Isn't it a good thing?" Ellie asked when she saw the change in Jo's expression.

Jo looked at her with wistful eyes.

"Cade deserves more than this." She said simply.

Ellie did not say anything for a while and just looked at Jo.

"Mom, do you know how happy you were in Cali with Cade?" Jo was surprised to hear Ellie's question, although not understanding what she meant by it.

"Ellie, this is not about me." Jo said, gently shaking her head at Ellie.

"Just answer my question, Mom." Ellie pleaded with her eyes. Jo knew then that there was more to her question.

"Yes." Jo answered, curious on where this would end.

"Do you still remember how you felt at the airport, while the two of you were saying your goodbyes to each other?" Ellie asked, her mind flashing a very clear picture of her mother and Cade, both carrying heavy hearts, as they hugged and kissed each other for the last time after five blissful weeks.

Jo thought of the same picture, her heart aching when she remembered how much she had wanted to tell Cade then that she loved him too but could not because she knew it was not true. She nodded her answer at Ellie.

"Do you also remember how happy you were that time he stayed over when you were shot?" Ellie could still hear the way her mother had laughed the whole time through. It was still clear in her mind how her mother looked so happy that night, something that she had not seen in quite a long while.

Jo summoned into her mind that night when Cade stayed over and how he took care of her. Then she remembered how contented she felt lying beside him with his arms around her, and nodded her affirmation at Ellie, unaware of the smile that was slowly spreading on her face.

"Then Mom, what's there to worry about?" Ellie asked Jo, wanting her to explain to her what was holding Jo back.

When Jo did not answer her question, Ellie told her mother what she thought could help her mother.

"Forgive and forget."

Jo looked at Ellie questioningly, not understanding what she meant.

"Our teacher told us to learn how to forgive and forget. I think that's the problem, Mom. You should learn how to forgive yourself for loving Mac before you could forget about it and move on. You could not give your whole heart to somebody else because you're too caught up with thinking that you should not love Mac anymore. You were too busy justifying why you should not love him anymore that you forgot to _actually_ not love him." Ellie could only hope that she was making enough sense for her mother to understand what she was trying to say.

To her relief, Jo started slowly nodding her head, indicating that she understood what Ellie was trying to tell her.

"But my love for Cade is not enough, Ellie." Jo said softly.

"Not enough for what?"

"Not enough. I mean, he deserves more than this." Jo said, looking at Ellie as if the answer to her question was too obvious for her not to know.

"I don't think you're the one to decide on that." Ellie said, looking her mother straight in the eye, not caring if her mother would tell her off.

But Jo did not take offense on what Ellie said, and thought instead that what she said was true. It was not for her to decide.

Ellie sighed and sat closer to Jo.

"You know I love you, right?" Ellie asked, looking at Jo.

Jo smiled at Ellie upon hearing her question.

"Of course, Ellie." Jo said, curious of what was the purpose of her line of questioning.

"Remember when Cade came here the first time and I told you we could move to San Francisco?" Ellie paused, and held her mother's hand.

"That offer's still good, Mom, if that would help you. Maybe it's time to leave New York." Ellie said almost in a whisper, squeezing Jo's hand.

"Ellie, running away would not solve anything." Jo said, smiling sadly at her.

"I'm not asking you to run away and hide, Mom. It would be to face the world. Leaving New York would be like leaving your comfort zone. Everything would be new; New work, new boss, new co-workers, and maybe a new life with Cade? I was just thinking that maybe it's time for us to go and start over." Ellie said, hugging Jo. "I just want you to be happy. And you're happy with Cade." Ellie whispered.

"Thank you Ellie. It's not easy, but I'll think about it." Jo said, already feeling the temptation of being able to start her life anew.

* * *

"So you're saying that there might be a slight chance that he was drugged?" Jo asked as she walked beside Mac towards his office while rereading the Tox Report, a week after the Johnson case. It was noticeable though that there was a space between them where Lucy could fit in and could walk comfortably without touching either of them.

"Yes. Don had just sent me a text to say that he was waiting for the wife to return from somewhere." Mac said as they entered his office.

"Okay, I'll go talk to Sid, see if he'd found something else on our Vic." Jo said, as she walks out of his office.

"Okay, keep me informed." Mac said as he sat down beside his desk.

* * *

"Jo, I've just sent the autopsy report up to the lab. You just missed it only by a minute." Sid said when he saw Jo walking towards him.

"Oh, it's okay, I just want to know if there was anything else aside from the Ketamine in his stomach."

"Nope, his stomach contents were basically made up of lunch and Ketamine, other than those, he was clean." Sid said, unclipping his spectacles as he looked at Jo.

"Okay then." Jo gave Sid a small smile and moved a little bit closer to him. "And how… is it going?" Jo asked softly, indicating at the gauze on the back of his hand.

"So far so good, Jo. I feel better most of the days." Sid answered, understanding what Jo was asking about.

Jo smiled widely at him, happy to know that her friend was still doing good and still fighting. Her smile faded a little, though when she realized that Sid was looking at her, almost scrutinizing her.

"What is it, Sid? Something on me?" Jo asked, her hand automatically reaching for her face, thinking that maybe something was on her face to make Sid look at her like that.

"Yup. Something's off, Jo. For the past week or so I see you walk in and out of here, not much different to the bodies on my table. You look… well, excuse the term, lifeless. What's up, Jo?"

Jo looked at Sid, and contemplated if she should tell him what was bothering her or just put on a happy face and make up an excuse, no matter how lame, and escape his inquisitive eyes.

"You've been my confidante twice and I've always been grateful for that. I'd like to return the favor, if you think I could help. Even just to listen, Jo." Sid tried to convince Jo when she did not answer him immediately, proving that there really was something that was bothering her.

After a small hesitation that had crossed her face, Jo finally nodded at Sid and walked to his desk after pulling a chair to sit on. Sid sat beside her, and waited until Jo was ready to talk, which did not take too long, anyway.

"I thought everything was fine with us, Sid." Jo began, smiling bitterly and looking at something behind Sid. "We were happy with each other, and though it was not perfect, we both wanted to be with each other and so we work things out. Although he was the one who worked harder for both of us."

Sid did not understand what Jo was talking about at first, but as what he had promised her, Sid listened and just let her talk.

"Until Allan Johnson happened." Sid heard Jo say, upon which he frowned. He recognized the name immediately as Allan Johnson made an impact to him. When he had learned that Allan had cancer, it made him think about his own situation. He had wished then that he would not have to result to killing himself because he could not take the pain anymore, like as they assumed Allan did.

"When Grace Johnson told us about their story, and told us who Drake is in their lives, I realized how much similar their story is to mine." Jo's eyes were distant now, as she walked back down all the memories since the day she talked with Grace. Sid had known about the story since it had been going around the lab after the word got out about it with people marveling at the greatness of Grace's and Allan's love for each other, but mostly at the selfless love Allan had given Grace.

"Cade has been good to me as Allan had been to Grace. He has loved me and cared for me and my kids, even though he knew that I love someone else." Jo paused, as she struggled to keep her tears from falling.

"Russ?" Sid asked when he saw the opportunity to do so.

Jo looked at him and shook her head sadly.

"No. It was someone else. Someone I met a couple years ago."

Sid nodded. "And did he know that you love him?"

Jo huffed. "I don't think so. The man's pretty dense." Jo said then paused, as if thinking about something. "Either that, or he was not interested." She added.

Jo continued with her story, her eyes taking up a far-away look again.

"When Grace Johnson told me about Allan, I immediately thought of Cade. I thought of how unfair it might have been for Cade to do all those things for me when my heart belongs to someone else. I felt so guilty because for me, I might as well be cheating on Cade. I thought that it was so selfish of me to accept Cade even though I was barely ready to let the other man go." The tears that she had been trying so hard to keep from falling were now silently sliding their way down to her jaw.

"Have you talked to Cade about this? About how you were feeling?" Sid asked as he placed a box of tissue in front of Jo.

"No. I don't know how to." Jo said, taking a tissue from the box to dab at her tears with.

"I tried to forget my feelings for him, tried to move on… I've made some progress, thanks to Cade, but I know that a part of me still loves him." Jo said the last part almost inaudibly as if she was scared to say it out in the open.

"And Cade? Do you love him too?" Sid asked gently.

"Yes, Sid. I do." Jo said looking up at Sid, a tiny, sad smile on her lips.

Sid nodded at her words. "I thought so too. Because Jo, if you don't love him, you would not be this scared of hurting him. You care for him this much and that would only be because he also has a place in your heart."

Jo nodded but Sid could still see the doubt in her eyes.

"Jo, since you came back from that California vacation of yours, you possessed a glow that only intensified as time passes. You're happy with Cade. Everybody could see that. The texts that would make you smile instantly… I've seen those. Even after a long, tiring day, surrounded by blood or bullets, his texts never failed to make you smile. His calls would do more than make you smile. Your laughter sounded like a… child's. You know the kind… very carefree, straight from the heart…" Sid paused and looked at Jo, willing her to grasp at his words.

"Give yourself a chance to be happy. You love Cade, and he loves you, don't deprive yourself of that happiness because you deserve that. Don't think too much, Jo. Just live life… seize it while you still can…" Sid said, his every word dripping with sincerity.

Coming from Sid, the words just became more powerful and more real. For Jo, of all people, Sid would be the one who had all the right to say those words. His condition, the uncertainty of tomorrow for him, gave his words life as if they could breathe, giving them more meaning.

"Life is short, Jo. You would not want to spend it thinking about what if's, right?" Sid said, placing his hand over Jo's and gently squeezed it.

Jo gave Sid a hug as she says thank you to him, just as her phone started ringing.

"Lindsay, I'm down here with Sid but I'm on my way back to the lab." Jo said when Lindsay asked her where she was as Don had already come back after talking to their Vic's wife.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Lindsay asked when she saw Jo walking up to them. They were assembled in Mac's office waiting for Jo before Don starts to relay to them what happened to his conversation with the Vic's wife.

Mac turned around and saw the weary expression on Jo's face. He looked closely at her as she got nearer to them and could see the red ring rimming her eyes.

"I'm fine, Linds." Jo said smiling at Lindsay.

"Jo, is there a problem?" Don asked, noticing the tell tale sign of having just cried.

Jo let out a chuckle and motioned with her hand. "I'm okay, don't worry about me." Jo said and plastered a smile on her face.

When nobody said anything and just stared at her, Jo sighed and sat down at the couch.

"It was just a little, really tiny roadblock, that's all." Jo said. "So, what did the wife say?" She asked, hoping that they would just start discussing about the case. She was grateful for the concern they were giving her but she really did not wish to tell them what was bothering her. It was something she would want to keep to herself. Telling it to Sid was enough, and she already got a good advice from him, although whether to heed it or not, she had yet to decide.

When it was clear to them that Jo had no intention of talking about what was happening, Don started talking about the case. It did not mean, though that their concern for Jo had been forgotten. Nobody expected to see her like this. And it unsettled all of them to see the ever strong woman be this emotional and won't even say why. That was not the Jo that they came to know.

After they've discussed the case and orders have been given to some, they all went out of Mac's office to work on their assignments, or to prepare to go home. Mac waited until everybody had gone out of his office before he went down to look for Sid.

* * *

Sid was just about to push the elevator button when it opened to reveal Mac inside.

"Hey Mac, you need something?" Sid asked when he saw the somber look on his boss's face.

"Actually I want to ask you something, Sid. I hope you don't mind to stay for a short while." Mac said, walking to Sid's desk, causing Sid to follow him.

"It's okay, Mac. No problem. What is it about?" Sid asked, placing his bag on his desk and looked at Mac.

"It's about Jo." Mac said, looking closely at Sid's reaction. He knew that he was right when he decided to ask Sid about Jo because judging from the agitated expression on Sid's face, he realized that Jo had told him about whatever burden it was that she had been carrying around on her shoulders.

"What about Jo, Mac?" Sid asked, more than aware of the sweat that were starting to trickle down his temple even though it was cold in the morgue.

"When she came up to the lab earlier after coming from the morgue, it was evident that she had just done crying. Would you tell me what's going on with her?" Mac asked, straight to the point.

Sid swallowed and thought of how best to explain to Mac that he could not tell him about what Jo had just confided in him.

"Sid?" Mac called when he saw him hesitate.

"Mac, I know you're my boss, and you're concerned about Jo, just like I am. But, I'm also her friend…" Sid stuttered his way in trying to explain to Mac that he did not want to tell him what Jo had told him.

"Sid, relax. I just want to know what caused her to cry like that." Mac tried, hoping that Sid would tell him about Jo's problem.

"That's the thing, Mac. Uh, I don't think it would be proper for me to tell you what she told me." Sid blurted out. "I'm sorry." Sid said, looking apologetically at Mac.

Mac raised his eyebrow at what Sid said. He could not believe that he was being left out in this. It also hurt him to know that Jo had preferred to confide in Sid instead of him, when she used to tell him everything before, and especially after the things they had shared to each other last September.

"Maybe you should try to ask her, Mac. I would have told you… but it would be like betraying her trust. I hope you understand."

Mac nodded his head at Sid. "I understand, Sid. I'm just worried about her and I thought I could ask you since you were the last person she talked with before she went up. But you're right, maybe I should just ask her. You go ahead, Sid. Thank you." Mac said, and turned around to go up to the lab again.

Sid could only sigh in relief when Mac went up the lab. He was surprised to know that Jo did not tell Mac anything as they were so close before. He could only guess on what might have caused the change between the two and hoped that someday, their closeness would return. Mac had been a lot better when Jo had started working in the lab, and he knew how she had coaxed him out of his shell. He could only wish that they could return to how they were before, because he thought that now is the time when Jo would need Mac's friendship, more than anyone's.

* * *

Mac went back to his office and tried to focus on the case files strewn all over his desk. He could have gone straight to Jo's office and ask about her after talking to Sid, only he saw that she was already gone.

Since the Johnson case, Mac had noticed that Jo had been different. She was not as bubbly as she was, not as lively, and she always looked like she was being burdened with something. A crease had never left her forehead, and her smiles would stop a bit short from reaching up her eyes. Her laughter sounded hollow sometimes, and the chatter that would always liven up the lab had totally stopped.

He had since wanted to ask her what caused the changes but he would always stop himself just before the words come out of his mouth. Suddenly, Jo's presence could sometimes make him feel uncomfortable. He could not pinpoint the kind of discomfort he was feeling whenever Jo was around, but he hated to feel that way towards her. Their relationship had just gotten better after those heartfelt talks they had shared in September only to go back to being almost strangers again after the Johnson case.

The Johnson case had changed him too. For reasons he could not understand, he would sometimes catch himself staring blankly ahead, and like that day in the observation room, he would often feel something tugging at his heart and when he tried to grasp on it to form it into words so that he could understand what it was, it would suddenly disappear.

His blanking off would also start an argument with Christine because sometimes it would happen when she was talking to him, and he would not be able to respond leaving Christine to think that he was not listening to her at all. He would try to explain to her but she would not listen.

He was forced to tell her the Johnson case last night, when he was caught yet again by Christine just as he was about to finally grab at the nagging thought at the pit of his stomach. He could only guess, though why he had felt the need to omit some parts of the story. He just thought that she did not have to know those parts that he had omitted but could not explain why. And it was making him feel terrible because he was pretty much lying to Christine by not telling her the whole story. But something inside him tells him that letting Christine know the whole story might pose a problem in their lives. He did not want that to happen.

He forced his mind to go back to the case folder that was opened in front of him but Sid's words kept on repeating in his mind.

_I would have told you… but it would be like betraying her trust._

He still could not get over the fact that she was not telling him anything and Sid's words had just made him think that maybe he really had lost Jo's trust that was why she would not tell him about whatever her problem was. As much as he was suddenly feeling uncomfortable around her, he would still want her to trust him like how she used to. Because honestly, in their work, trust is the best thing that they could share with each other.

An ugly thought suddenly popped up in Mac's mind. He could now understand how much he had hurt Jo when he told her to stay out of his personal business. If the pain that was tearing at his heart right now would be based upon, he did not know how Jo had managed to forgive him after the most painful thing he had ever told her. He could only wonder in awe of Jo's capability to understand and forgive him when not only did he throw back her friendship to her face but also told her that he did not trust her enough to tell her what was going on with him.

Thinking about all of these made Mac wished that he could turn back the time. He wanted to change some things that he had done, retract some words that he had said, and unhurt those people that he hated to hurt. But he also knew that it was too late now for any regrets.

Once again, he forced his mind to concentrate on the folder in front of him and thankfully, he was able to do so. He was aware, though of an anxious thought that was haunting him. The only difference was he knew what this one was all about. It was the possibility of having lost Jo's trust and he did not even know why.

* * *

**Whew! I finally managed to write chapter 25. I thought I would be forced to drastically change the plot but I finally managed to work things out. And I know that this is not one of the best chapters, I just hope that it could still convince you to read on until the end.**

**Thanks to SinginPrincess for Sid. Thank you also to , Madison Bellows, LoeyDinh, and C-SkyBird-x3, thank you for the reviews and sorry if I wasn't able to reply to your PM's. I'd do that soon. And to Quille, thank you so much. **

**Thank you to all of you. **


	26. Chapter 26

_**From Chapter 25**_

_Thinking of all of these made Mac wished that he could turn back the time. He wanted to change some things that he had done, retract some words that he had said, and unhurt those people that he hated to hurt. But he also knew that it was too late now for any regrets._

_Once again, he forced his mind to concentrate on the folder in front of him and thankfully, he was able to do so. He was aware, though of an anxious thought that was haunting him. The only difference was he knew what this one was all about. It was the possibility of having lost Jo's trust and he did not even know why._

**Chapter 26**

Jo tossed and turned on her bed before finally sitting up when sleep proved to be elusive. She pulled her legs up on her chest and hugged her knees, her mind repeating Grace's story over and over again.

Finally, she took her phone from the nightstand and dialed his number.

"Hey, are you free to talk?" she said in a wavering voice.

"Yes, I was just about to text you. Are you okay?" he asked, his voice suddenly shifting from the jolly one that greeted her to the worried tone that was making this call more difficult for her.

Jo sighed at his question.

"Can I hide anything from you, at all?" She asked in a strong accent, partly frustrated.

Cade let out a small chuckle.

"Do you know how transparent your voice is? I could easily sense if something's bothering you just through your voice, like now. What's wrong, Jo?" Cade asked, concern dripping from his own voice.

"Nothing. Just a very… difficult case." Jo said, saying the last two words almost inaudibly.

"What kind of difficult?" Cade asked, knowing that Jo did not call him just because she had a difficult case.

Jo paused for a while to think of how to answer his question.

"Emotionally draining, I guess." Jo answered, her mind wandering again to the interrogation room.

Cade frowned at her answer. He was expecting her answer to be about a child missing or something, but never expected her to be emotionally attached to a case about something else.

"I'll listen, Jo. Tell me." Cade said, leaning back on his headboard.

"I don't even know where to start. I'm not even sure what I'm doing calling you at this ungodly hour and…" Jo sighed heavily. "I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know… anything. I'm sorry, Cade. I'm just a little confused right now. I'll call you tomorrow. Good ni…" Cade cut off Jo's rambling when he called out her name.

"Jo, you're making me worried. Tell me what this case was all about and why were you so… upset over it?" Cade encouraged, sitting up straight on his bed. He was starting to feel bad about this, somehow feeling that whatever Jo would say might affect him greatly, too. But he was more worried about Jo because she had never been this disoriented.

Jo let out a breath, and wiped at the tear that had slid its way down her cheek.

Cade could sense her hesitation but waited for her to be ready. He knew that she would tell him about it, she just needed some time to organize her thoughts. Finally, Cade heard Jo inhaled deeply before she started telling him about Grace, Allan, and Drake.

Even before she finished telling him the story, he already had an idea on how it would end. When Jo started saying the words 'unfair' and 'guilty', he realized how the rest of their conversation would go and started thinking and analyzing their situation. He now understood why Jo suddenly hesitated and tried to end the call earlier. She called to end whatever it was that they shared because it was her who had been feeling guilty. He realized he was not ready for that, and since Jo tried to backtrack also, he thought she was not ready to do that too.

_She was seeking for assurance._ Cade thought.

"Cade, do you understand what I'm trying to say?" Jo's voice pulled Cade out of his deep thoughts.

"I think I do." He said simply, his ears pounding with his heartbeat.

Jo waited for him to continue but when she realized he was not going to say anything more, she decided to do the hard part.

"Cade, I…" Jo knew that this would be very difficult, but never expected it to be _this_ difficult. She swallowed and tried again. "I don't want to do that to you, Cade. You don't deserve that." She finally said, still not able to say directly what she needed to say.

"Do what to me, Jo?" Cade asked, his pounding heart almost shaking his body.

"Oh come on, Cade, you know what I mean. Please don't make this so hard for me." Jo said desperately. Her heart was thumping inside her chest and part of her wanted to just end the call because truth be told, she did not know what to do if Cade would let her do what she intended to do.

"Jo, I'm not making this hard for you. I want to know what you think you're doing to me." Jo heard the edge on Cade's voice and a part of her wanted to just push him to be angry with her thinking that things might get easier that way.

Cade did not mean for his words to come out that strongly, but the unexpected purpose of Jo's call had taken him aback and he was acting on his emotions. He got scared of what Jo had planned to tell him because he knew how headstrong she was. He was scared that he might not be able to convince her to stay if she had decided to give up.

"Cade, please… I… I don't want to hurt you. I don't want us to be like Grace and Allan." She had finally said what she was meaning to say.

"Why?" Cade asked, making Jo become more and more frustrated as the conversation continued.

"Cade, are you doing this deliberately? Because it's already difficult enough for me without you having to push me to say things that I'm sure you already know." Jo's tone was fast turning into one of annoyance.

"I'm not doing this to taunt you, Jo. I just want this to be clear to me, and most especially to you." Cade said a matter-of-factly which irritated Jo all the more.

"What?" Jo gasped, quite unbelieving what Cade was telling her.

Cade sighed.

"Okay, I'll do the dirty part for you." Cade took a deep breath before continuing, in an attempt to steady his nerves.

"You said you don't want us to be like Grace and Allan, and I asked you why. I don't seem to see the part of their relationship that you think was bad. They had a happy marriage didn't they? In your story, provided that you did not exaggerate anything about it, they had a blissful life together that was wrecked only by cancer, and even then, they still had a good life together." Cade said gently, his heart pounding at his every word.

"During the non-painful days, they were happily hanging around each other, doing things they used to do since their younger years. During painful nights, they held on to each other, giving each other strength that they both needed. What could be so wrong with those, Jo? Aren't those all a manifestation of love, a beautiful personification of a bond that went beyond words, suffering, and even death? Now tell me, why would I not want a piece of that?" Cade was pacing back and forth as he tried to make Jo see the picture that she had painted him when she told Grace's story.

Jo frowned and thought hard after hearing Cade's version. In Cade's words, Allan and Grace's lives did not sound so bad. For a while, she doubted that maybe she was making something out of nothing and thought of what made her think that she was hurting Cade. And remembered. Clearly.

"But you forgot about Drake." Jo countered, feeling like they were debating over the happiness of the three people involved, as much as debating over their own happiness.

"No, I did not forget about him. Jo, Drake got his chance when they met again years after. And Grace was also given the chance to leave Allan and be with Drake. Both had their chances but both did not take it. And don't tell me about Allan being sick that's why Grace did not leave him. It's got nothing to do with that. If they really wanted to be with each other, they could have already did it the first time they saw each other again, and that was before Allan was diagnosed with cancer. But no, they did not. Grace did not leave Allan when she had plenty of chances to do so." Cade sighed. He knew that this intellect debate would soon end, and emotion would override every argument he would present, and that's where he could lose. Emotion was not his strong point. But he was willing to fight all the way through until the very last moment. He had since decided to fight for her until he could not anymore.

"My point is Grace loved Allan too. And it was enough for both of them." Cade said as an ending to his argument.

"Won't you feel… betrayed? Or even cheated? Knowing that Grace loved somebody else and did not even tell you? And she even pretended to not know Drake when he showed up outside your home?" Jo asked, her voice rising a little. Somehow, she knew that they were not talking about the case anymore but was actually talking about them and was only using other people's names.

"Jo, stop feeling guilty for them. First, you said Allan acknowledged the fact that Grace pretended to not know Drake for Allan's sake, right? Second, there was no betrayal or cheating that happened. Grace loved Drake, yes. She loved him first. But she also loved Allan. You cannot blame someone for loving another person first before you. Yes, Grace still loves Drake but did she do anything about it? You cannot entirely erase a person, especially someone you loved from your life, can you? The person you once loved will always stay with you, even after the relationship had already ended. But it does not mean that you're cheating on the person you are with now. Had she acted on that love for Drake or just simply did not really love Allan and just used him to move on, then yes, she cheated on him. But that's not the case, Jo. She truly loved Allan." Cade explained, hoping that Jo was being convinced.

When Jo did not react, Cade decided to be bolder.

"Jo, let's make this about people you know personally. Let's say it's Mac." Cade said, feeling his heart raced again in his chest.

Jo jerked a little when she heard Cade said Mac's name. She did not see this coming and she could not understand why Cade wanted to talk about Mac. And she was not sure that she wanted to talk about him. She opened her mouth to stop him even before he started taking Mac's case but Cade beat her to it.

"Mac's married now, right? And I suppose he married his wife because he loved her. But then, he was once married to another woman. And rumors have it that when his wife died in the 9/11 attack he took it hardly. The implication of that death stayed with him for years, and maybe until now. And now that he's married again, would it be right for his wife to blame him if he still loves his first wife?" Cade paused, almost waiting for Jo's protest again.

"Would you consider him to be cheating on his wife because in his heart, the memory of his first wife still lives?" Cade asked gently now. He knew he was threading sensitive issue, and one wrong word was all it would take to make Jo take offense.

Jo thought at what Cade had said. His words stung her when he said Mac married Christine because he loved her. She knew he did not intend to hurt her but it still hurt anyway. She pushed her own emotions back and brought her mind back to the question Cade had posed to her.

"No" She finally whispered.

"That's my point, Jo." Cade said, finally allowing himself to breathe normally. He had just sat back down on his bed when he heard Jo's protesting tone.

"But it's because Claire was already gone, Cade. She's not here anymore. It's still a different case." Jo said.

Cade shut his eyes and swallowed. He did not want to say what he was about to say, because he was scared at what he might hear from her. But given the circumstances, it seemed like he had to broach at this very topic that he strongly wanted to avoid discussing. Sooner or later he would be forced to face his fears; he thought maybe this was the perfect opportunity to do so.

"Okay, Jo. Maybe it's really time for this." Cade said seriously.

Jo was taken aback at the shift in Cade's tone. It had gotten too serious and nervously sad at the same time.

"In Grace's story, she loved Allan but loved Drake more." Cade paused, trying to silence his heart that had started pounding in his ears again.

Jo felt her heart pummeling in her chest when she realized what might be running in Cade's mind, her hands suddenly started trembling a little.

"Jo, in all honesty, and don't just say what you think I want to hear…" Cade paused again, as he gathered his guts on what he was about to say next.

"Jo…" Cade inhaled deeply as if giving himself a chance to change his mind.

"What do I mean to you?"

Jo heard the fear reverberating in Cade's voice and it cut into her heart like a saber. She thought of how to answer his question, of how to best say how she felt towards him.

Cade knew that Jo was thinking of how to put her feelings into words, and as always, waited patiently for her to make up her mind. His heart had already sunk when Jo did not answer his question immediately, but he still wanted to know what his worth to her was.

Jo thought hard for a while, reaching deep in her heart to make sure that what she would tell him would only be the whole truth, not said because it's what he wanted to hear, not said because it's what she wanted to say, but because in her heart of hearts, it was the truth. But she could not come up with a word, the exact word to describe what he meant to her. So she did it the only way she knew how to.

"I turn to you every time I'm down because you make me happy in your own ways." Jo began, her mind churning out words directly transported from her heart. She could feel the pounding of her own heart in her chest, all the while hoping that she could capture in her words how she exactly feels toward him.

"I call you when I'm bothered because your voice is enough to calm my anxieties. I talk to you when I feel alone because your words are enough to make me feel that I'm _not_ alone because I have you in addition to my kids. I know how much you care for me and I found comfort in that. I love feeling your arms around me because I feel safe in them." Jo swallowed back the tears that were threatening to stop her from continuing. For all it's worth, she wanted to let Cade know what was inside her heart. She wanted to make him understand what he meant to her.

"I love looking at your eyes because they tell me who you are, and what you're feeling. I love it when you hold my hands because they promise companionship. I wait around for your calls and texts because they make difficult work days bearable. I know how much you love me and I'm still amazed of how selfless that love is." Jo enumerated all the things that Cade meant to her, wiping at the tears that had forced their way down her cheeks.

"And I want to love you like you love me but I…" Jo swallowed hard as her heart thumped more loudly. "I can't. Yet.I mean…" Jo paused and sighed but then felt her lips slowly tugging up into a small smile.

"_I got there_, Cade. I finally got there." She felt butterflies in her stomach when she heard her own words. But at the same time she felt her heart constrict in her chest when she remembered that there was something else that she needed to add to what she had just said.

"But…" Jo hesitated as she looked for the right words to say how she was feeling, exactly.

"But you love him more…" Cade finished for her in a low, gentle, somber tone.

Jo shut her eyes, and breathed through her mouth to stop herself from making a sound when she heard his sorrowful voice. She did not want to hurt him but she knew that it was what she was doing. She cried silently not wishing for Cade to hear her heart breaking for him.

Cade felt a sharp pain in his heart as he said the words that Jo could not bring herself to say. But he knew that it was the truth.

"Jo, I never asked you to love me like how much I love you. This is not a competition of who loves more. Just you loving me, no matter how much is enough. I'm not asking for more than what you could give me." Cade said, bracing himself for what Jo would say.

When Jo sat at the corner bench of the precinct that day, she had thought of Cade. While she thought of how Grace told her about their dancing and singing, Jo's mind conjured up images of dolphins, stunning sunsets, and neon, LED lights. When Grace told her how Allan would comfort her whenever the pain would be too much to bear, she thought of how Cade comforted her at the yacht when she had wanted to tell him that she loves him back but could not. She knew then that Cade finally had a place in her heart, although not as much as how she loved Mac, but still, he had a place in her heart.

"I don't want to be unfair to you, Cade." Jo finally said.

"You're not being unfair to me. I know the situation from the very beginning, but I decided to stay with you." Cade was feeling desperate now. He knew they had gotten better together since their California vacation and he could not understand why Jo was suddenly backing out.

"I can't understand why you're suddenly throwing away what we worked so hard to have. Especially you, Jo, you worked so hard for this. I know how you struggled to freed yourself. Why give up now?"

Jo thought of what he had just said. She knew what he said was true; all of it would be the same things that she would tell herself if only her guilt would stop nagging at her and her mind would be clear enough to think even for a second.

"I don't know, Cade. The guilt was just eating me alive."

"You were so afraid of being unfair to me, but have you ever considered if you're being fair to yourself?" Cade asked, giving his all to convince Jo. He did not want to let her go. He knew before tonight that there might be something between them, although to what extent he did not know. Now that Jo finally told him that she loved him too, he did not want her to give up now. He knew they could make things better for them because that was what they did to be able to arrive at where they were now. It had been a long process but here they were now, Jo had finally found a place for him in her heart.

Deep inside, Jo did not want for her relationship with Cade to end. She was happy with him, and the baby steps that she had taken from California had now progressed into big leaps. But she wanted to make sure that it was not only her who was happy and satisfied in this relationship.

"When you went back to New York, you got confused because you went back to your reality and nothing's perfect about it. I understand that, Jo. Had I moved to New York, do you think anything would have changed? The only difference now is that I'm here and you're there and he's the one who's with you all the time. But do you remember when I was there? Can you still remember how you were when I was there with you? I saw that, Jo. There's a little uncertainty, but you were happy. It was like when you were here. We were happy in our own little bubble." Cade paused, thinking of how to drive his point to her heart. He could hear the desperation in his own voice and had thought of how long could he still hold this conversation before Jo finally make up her mind.

Jo nodded at what Cade was saying although she clearly knew that he could not see her. For every argument and memory that Cade would bring up, she felt the guilt that she was feeling getting smaller and smaller, until it had almost shrunk into insignificance.

"Whenever you're having doubts about us, maybe thinking about that little bubble of ours would help ease the worries, erase the doubt. If you're just worried about me, don't be. I'm happy with you Jo. I'm happy with what we have. Don't give up now. Don't give up on us. We've already come a long way." Cade said, waiting for what Jo would say. His heart felt like it was about to burst in anticipation and in dread.

After a while, Jo finally spoke up.

"Promise me one thing, Cade."

"What is it?" Cade asked, feeling his blood rushing to his heart, making it beat faster than he thought it ever could.

"That you would not hesitate to tell me if you're not happy anymore or if you want out already."

Cade shut his eyes in relief. "I promise Jo."

Then it melted his heart when he realized what her words meant. He suddenly felt like the fact that Mac still had a part in Jo's heart was just a small roadblock he could skip on because through her words, Jo had just told him how much she cared for him. And it was enough.

"I've been waiting for a long time to be able to tell you this without worrying if you'd flip, avoid me, or if things would get awkward between us." Cade said, as his heart slowly returned to its normal beating.

"What is it?" Jo asked, the earlier anxiety in her voice had now vanished.

"I love you, Jo." Cade said, affectionately.

Jo felt her heart swell in her chest, warmth coursed through her veins, and little wings fluttered in her stomach as a smile slowly started creeping up her face.

"I love you, Cade."

* * *

The nightmares had stopped. The whimpering and sobbing had gone away. But they were replaced by his staring ahead, his mind wandering somewhere faraway from here and not even saying where it had led him to.

Christine watched wistfully at Mac who had been sitting on the couch and staring out the window for the last fifteen minutes and running. He had explained to her about the Johnson case and she had thought that if it was that case, which involved a love triangle, that triggered this reaction from him, she did not know how not to speculate negatively.

The last months had been difficult for her. His nightmares about Jo, the way he called out her name so agonizingly painful, so heartfelt. And with the case now, she could not help but wonder why Mac was acting like this and how these changes connected to Jo. Ever since their relationship began, she had always been amazed at Mac's relationship with Jo. For someone who had spent almost ten years in building strong, stone and steel walls around him, only to tear it all down little by little after knowing Jo for barely a year, that was some feat you would not see every day. And she had always wondered if there was more than what meets the eye.

Christine's mind started wandering back to a small vault of memory that she had kept hidden from Mac. The first time she saw something special between them that made her doubt her purpose in Mac's life was when she tagged along with the team on Lucy's birthday party. When Jo reached up to pinch Mac's cheek, and see him let her do it without any reservation or restriction given, she had felt jealous. That was why she dragged him all the way to the back of the lab to kiss him. She felt the need to do it, and in that fleeting moment of uncertainty she could not understand why she felt the need to do that but after the party, when she was alone in her apartment, she had figured out that she had felt the need to kiss him because it was as if to remind him that she was there.

When Jo showed concern about Mac's memory problem, she was threatened and had doubted herself. She blamed herself for always being with Mac and yet did not even notice anything. She was threatened by Jo's bold move to come to her and ask her when Mac had already denied it. It was only then that she had discerned how much Jo cared for him, willing to risk his ire just to make sure that he was fine. And although she had never thought that Jo could do something unrightful, it had unnerved her to witness that much concern from her.

Christine felt her heart started beating furiously when a forbidden memory persistently crawled its way to her mind. Jo had practically told her that she loved Mac. Her face as she said it tells her that it was not the love you give even to the dearest of your friend. She had given it a thought that time and had formed her own theory about the depth of Jo's love for Mac. But when Mac got out of the surgery and was trying to recover, all thoughts about that exchange was forgotten.

When Jo went missing during their honeymoon, she could not believe her ears when Mac told her that he was going back to New York to help look for her. She could not believe more when he told her after coming back that Jo turned out to be not missing and she had come back to the lab the day he got in, and yet he did not went back to be with her on their honeymoon.

Christine could only hope that things would get better. When Mac proposed to her, she had thought that maybe he was pressured to do it because of all the things that had happened. She had doubted that maybe he felt obligated to marry her because she was with him in the hospital from the moment he opened his eyes after the surgery until he was released and cleared for work. The kidnapping could have also added to the pressure, and most importantly, the riot that had happened just before he proposed to her. She could only wish then that he would not change his mind and cancel the wedding when he had thought things over. But then again, even if he did thought of taking back his proposal, it would be against his nature to actually do it. And that's what was more bothering; to think that he went ahead and married her even after realizing that he had proposed to her by impulse.

Christine took a sip of water from the glass that she had been cradling in her hand since she had sat at the dining table to watch Mac. _He's not an impulsive person. The proposal was not an impulsive decision._ She said over and over in her mind, trying to convince herself that Mac married her because he wanted to be with her, and not because of any other reason.

* * *

Mac felt a hand gently caressing his back.

"Mac, let's go to bed. It's already late." Christine said, stopping herself from saying anything about his ways, not wanting to have another argument that had been happening quite frequently.

Mac nodded and went to bed but did not even get a blink of sleep. His mind had been torturing him alternately with thoughts of Jo entrusting Sid with her burden instead of him, and that never ending, frustrating nagging thought that had been bugging him for the past few days.

How he wished that he could finally find out what that thought was trying to tell him.

If he only knew how much impact it would have when it finally hit him.

* * *

**I want to express my deepest thanks to all of you guys for still trusting me even though I know that this fic had already sent you into multiple roller coaster rides. Especially for JAC readers that are still reading inspite of the developments. I hope you'd still continue reading and join Jo in her journey to her great love. **

**To my ever loving reviewers, thank you so so much. My thank you's are not enough to tell you how much I appreciate them. You guys are just the best!**


	27. Chapter 27

_**From Chapter 26**_

_Mac nodded and went to bed but did not even get a blink of sleep. His mind had been torturing him alternately with thoughts of Jo entrusting Sid with her burden instead of him, and that never ending, frustrating nagging thought that had been bugging him for the past few days._

_How he wished that he could finally find out what that thought was trying to tell him._

_If he only knew how much impact it would have when it finally hit him._

**Chapter 27**

Mac heard the unmistakable sound of Jo's laughter from down the hall and his lips automatically curved up to form a smile. He had noticed that Jo was almost back to her old, blithe, chatty self again but sometimes she could be too quiet as if something had been triggered inside her. Mac could only be relieved that two days after the talk with Sid, Jo had seemed to have already overcome her problem, smiling, laughing, cracking jokes, and being chatty again but the sudden change on her demeanor from time to time was worrying him. His conscience would not freed him from guilt, knowing that he had done nothing when she clearly was going through a hard time.

Since the day after she had cried to Sid, he had been trying to muster up enough guts to ask after her. He would walk his way down the hall to her office but suddenly stop and walk back the other way. He could not understand why it was being difficult for him to ask after her when he used to do it before. He would somehow feel scared, but of what exactly, he could not be certain. Sometimes, he would feel scared of what she might tell him because it could be something that he could do nothing about. When he had already convinced himself that he could still listen to her talk about her problem or try to comfort her, he would then be scared that she might not tell him anything at all because she did not trust him anymore. He would remember how she tried to mask her emotions that night in September and his heart would flinch in his chest because he thought she did not trust him that was why she tried to put on a disguise.

Mac was not really free from having his own things to ponder on too. In the past few days, Christine had finally become interested about his work. She would ask him about his day and really listen to him as he narrated the crimes they had to solve, the people they had to interrogate and all those things that composed his day. But she was more interested in who was with him at the crime scenes and what they do. What would stand out among all of her questions, however, was when she would ask about Jo.

The first time was during dinner when she casually asked why Jo had not been involved with another man yet when her marriage had ended a long time ago. When Mac told her that she and Cade were sort of together, she asked him why was he uncertain if they were together or not. He told her that it was because that was what Jo had told him. Then she asked him about Cade and if Jo had gone to San Francisco to visit him and vice versa.

Sometimes, she would comment that she was amazed with Jo and how she was able to coax Mac out of his little shell in just a very short time. And then she would say that she was so thankful to her because if not for her, they would not have gotten together in the first place. All of these things about Jo were driving him crazy. He could not understand why all of a sudden, Christine was being very interested with anything about Jo. Her questioning was making him feel uncomfortable around Jo and it was starting to get on his nerves. Just last night, she suddenly brought up the day Jo had asked her about him.

"For the life of me, I still could not understand how she had managed to find out about it. I mean, she was with you for only a month while I've been with you for half a year and yet I did not notice it. I wonder how she managed to find that out." Christine had said while cleaning the dishes.

Out of frustration and annoyance, he had _playfully_ quipped, "Would you like to have her number? So you could exchange notes about me or whatever?"

Christine did not say anything more about it after that, and he was finally left alone to read his science journal, much to his relief.

* * *

"Hey Mac, DNA from the blood found inside the car was a match to our Vic's." Jo said when she saw Mac walking towards his office, as she had just come back from the morgue.

Mac stopped and looked at the tablet that Jo was holding, where a photo of a hand was being displayed.

"Sid found these burn marks on his knuckles and it looked like it came from cigarettes." Jo said, pointing on the screen.

Mac continued walking towards his office with Jo beside him, tapping the Next button to show Mac the next photo.

"There are some on his knees too?" Mac asked, when he saw the next picture.

"Excuse me, Detective Taylor, someone's here for Detective Danville." The uniformed officer said, stopping both Mac and Jo midway to his office.

Mac and Jo looked up to see who was looking for her.

Jo felt her breath hitched in her throat when she saw who was hovering near the front desk of the lab, smiling at her. She quickly crossed the distance that was separating both of them as she felt the tears that were starting to burn her eyes.

"Cade" Jo softly called out when she came near him just as Cade opened his arms for her. She walked directly into his arms and hugged him tightly, closing her eyes as she did so.

Mac had heard when Jo's breath hitched in her throat and watched when Cade pulled Jo even closer to him, murmuring something into her hair.

"I missed you." Jo said after pulling away a bit, her hands loosely placed on his sides.

"I missed you more." Cade said, grinning.

"What are you doing here?" Jo asked, her right hand wiping at the tears in the corner of her eyes.

"I'm on assignment." Cade said, gazing at the face that he had missed so much.

Jo squinted at him, not quite believing that he was here in New York for an assignment.

"Really? How come you did not tell me anything about it?" Jo asked, her inquisitive eyes piercing at his.

"I forgot I could not lie to you." Cade chuckled softly. "I asked a friend to give me his assignment when I learned that his case traced to New York and he was just glad to give it to me since they were expecting for their child to come out one of these days."

Jo nodded at him. "Where are you staying?"

"I don't know yet, but that's not a problem, I can check into any hotel later. I came here straight from the airport because I want to see you first before anything else."

Jo smiled at what Cade said and that was when she realized the luggage parked beside him.

"Stay at my place, then." Jo offered, although it came out like a question. After their talk that night she would often find herself watching her words closely, being too careful not to impose anything on Cade, wanting to give him the freedom to make his own choice without feeling pressured by her.

"Would it be okay? I can just look for any hotel nearby…" Cade said reluctantly as he tried to read Jo's expression.

"Oh… hmm… okay… if that's… what you'd prefer…" Jo said clearly disappointed, looking away from him.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just don't want to cause you any inconvenience." Cade said, raising Jo's head with his fingers on her chin. "And I don't want you to think that I assume you to let me stay in your place whenever I'm here."

Mac turned around when Cade's fingers touched Jo's chin. He went inside his office thinking that Jo won't be returning to his side any time soon to continue the discussion they've been having.

"You won't. And I don't." Jo simply answered, looking at Cade.

"It's settled then. I'd stay with you." Cade said, beaming at her.

It had been almost three weeks since the Allan Johnson case and though the CSI had already closed the case, its effects were still hovering around, threatening to change things drastically as a result.

"What time will you be done here? I was hoping we could have dinner together." Cade asked glancing at his wristwatch.

"I'm on duty until 7 tonight." Jo said, hoping that there won't be any new case for them to take on so that she could leave at exactly 7PM.

"Okay, that's two more hours. I'll wait for you and then we'll have dinner together. I'll just go over my case and then I'll call you later." Cade said, hugging Jo again before he left the crime lab.

* * *

"Sorry for that, Mac. Have you seen the cigarette burns on our Vic's shoulders too?" Jo asked as she entered Mac's office after Cade got on the elevator.

"Yeah, I've seen them." Mac said, staring at the tablet in his hand.

"We found a cigarette butt on the car floor and Lindsay had been working on it. Let me check if she'd found something from it. " Jo said, as she walks out of his office.

Mac only nodded at Jo's retreating back, almost tempted to stop her from leaving his office. He had wanted to ask her about the tears that he saw her wiped away, thinking that she could not be that emotional to see Cade. But he did not want her to think that he was snooping on her, so he bit his tongue instead.

Mac was right to assume that Jo's tears were not because of the emotions that she felt when she saw Cade. But he did not know what Cade and Jo had just gone through, making this meeting a very significant one to both of them.

* * *

"Agent Cade!" Ellie exclaimed when she saw who was behind her mother when Jo opened the door to their apartment.

"Ellie, how are you? How's school?" Cade greeted her after closing the door behind him.

"I'm good and school's…well, school." Ellie said which caused both Jo and Cade to chortle a little at her retort.

"You're on vacation?" Ellie asked when she saw Cade's luggage, her eyes dancing.

"No, I'm on assignment actually." Cade said as he follows Jo and Ellie to the living room.

"What did you have for dinner?" Jo asked as Ellie and Cade sat at the couch.

"I had nachos." Ellie answered her mother who was busying herself in the kitchen.

"It's not dinner, Ellie." Jo called from the kitchen.

"It could be. I'm full." Ellie said, turning to face Cade.

"So, Agent Cade, till when are you going to be here in New York?" Ellie asked, her eyes piercing at his.

"Depends on how the case would turn out." Cade said looking at Ellie. He saw something in her eyes and realized that there was something more that she wanted to say but was stopping herself from saying it.

Ellie saw Cade watching her and could only hope that her eyes would be able to convey what she wanted to tell him.

"Could you not stay longer?" Ellie finally asked softly, her eyes dashing to her mother who was being barely concealed in the open planned kitchen, before looking back at Cade, meaningfully. What she wanted to tell Cade was she wanted him to stay longer because she thought it would help him and Jo.

Jo had been fine since she and Cade got together but sometimes doubt would set in and it would tip the balance a little too steeply and she would have to fight all those inner demons again. Ellie had been a witness in those times of doubt and would do something to make Jo stop doubting. One day, Jo came home into a mini collection of good memories. Ellie bought a digital frame and loaded all of Jo and Cade's pictures in it, letting it play in a continuous loop. She strategically placed it where Jo could easily see it whether from the kitchen, the living room, and even when she enters the apartment. From then on, whenever Jo would feel the uncertainty again, all she had to do was to look at the frame and watch as pictures upon pictures of Cade and her, both of them smiling and laughing, played on and on, and then all doubts would just evaporate into thin air.

Cade understood what Ellie was trying to tell him but sadly shook his head at her.

"No, I can't Ellie. I've already used up all my leaves."

Ellie's face fell when she heard his answer, and just nodded at him.

"But nobody knows when this case would end. It can take a long time, Ellie." Cade said when he saw the disappointment on Ellie's face.

"But it can also end tomorrow, right?" Ellie said, understanding the nature of Cade's work.

Jo walked to where they were sitting as Ellie stood up and excused herself saying she had homework to do, wanting to give her mother and Cade their privacy.

"Don't you want to sleep yet?" Jo asked Cade when Ellie had gone to her room.

"Not yet. Come here." Cade said smiling at Jo, reaching his right hand out for Jo to take.

Jo took his hand and sat beside Cade but he pulled her closer to him and let his arm rest around her waist.

"I missed you." Cade murmured into her ear.

Jo put her head against his chest and circled her right arm onto his waist.

"I missed you, too." Jo whispered, snuggling closer to him as if a child seeking for comfort.

For a while, they both stayed in that position, not wanting to move, both listening to one another's heartbeats and breathing.

"Why did you come here, Cade?" Jo finally asked, her head still resting against his chest.

Cade knew that Jo would not entirely believe on his reason why he came to New York and he also knew that this time, he would have to answer truthfully.

"Well, I just want to remind you how good snuggling like this feels." Cade said instead, a smirk on his face.

"Oh! Really, now." Jo said, laughing. Although she understood the underlying thought in his words. "Yeah, this feels good." She added before sinking deeper into his arms.

Ellie had shut herself in her room but she could hear Cade's laughter followed by Jo's squeals and giggles. She smiled at the happiness that was echoing all throughout their apartment. She was happy that her mother was happy but she also knew that this would not last long. She could only wish that Jo would be able to stay this way even after Cade went back to San Francisco.

* * *

"Mac, is Jo's boyfriend here in New York?" Christine asked when Mac laid down on their bed.

Mac rolled his eyes boldly knowing that Christine won't see it in the dark. He thought the Jo conversation between them had already ended but he was wrong.

"Yeah, he flew in today. Why? And how did you know that?" Mac asked wondering how Christine knew about Cade's arrival.

"I saw Jo tonight while I was closing down and I didn't recognize the man she's with so I thought he might be Cade." Christine said while placing her head on his chest and her arm around his waist.

"It could easily be a friend or her ex-husband." Mac said, suddenly interested with this particular conversation about Jo.

"Yeah, except their too sweet to be just friends and the guy was too smitten with her to be the ex-husband." Christine said, picturing in her mind what she saw earlier.

Mac grunted.

"You noticed that much, huh? You sure you're not spying on her?" Mac joked but what he really wanted Christine to do was to tell him what she saw.

"Of course not." Christine said, smacking Mac's arm playfully. "I saw Jo round the corner with her arm linked to this guy's and she was all smiling and laughing while talking and the guy was just looking at her the whole time with this really goofy smile on his face that says he's smitten with her. And then while waiting for the lights to change, the wind blew and Jo's hair was just everywhere and the guy was just tucking everything behind her ears. And then he said something to her which made her blush and the guy blushed too and they both looked away wearing silly grins on their faces. And they were just so cute together." Christine said in detail, smiling as how she had when she saw them.

When Christine realized that Mac had not said anything, she looked up to him. Mac's eyes were close and his breathing was deep and even. Christine gently ran her hand over his chest and whispered his name. When he did not respond, she moved to her side of the bed and went to sleep.

Mac heard Christine whisper his name but chose not to open his eyes. He was careful not to shut it too tightly but let it stayed close as when he was asleep. He felt Christine move away from him to sleep on her side of the bed and that was when he let himself to fully relax. He did not know what to say to Christine or how he should react to what she had just told him. And more importantly, he did not know how Christine wanted him to react, so he pretended to be asleep.

Since she had started asking him about Jo, he felt like she was watching him out of the corner of her eyes, waiting for his reactions and scrutinizing his answers. He did not know what made her to be this way but it was making him feel defensive against her. Whenever she would talk about Jo it would make him feel like she was waiting for him to say something that would jeopardize him. Her questions, her looks, and most especially her tone, sounded almost accusing and it was as if she knew something that he did not know which to him did not make any sense but he also could not keep himself from putting up some level of defenses around him.

* * *

"Jo, you're phone's vibrating." Cade's sleepy voice pierced into her consciousness.

"I know." Jo murmured drowsily against his neck.

"It won't answer itself." Cade mumbled against her hair.

Jo sighed heavily as she entangles herself from Cade's arm.

"Danville." Jo drawled sleepily on the phone as she assumed her earlier position, placing her head at the nook of Cade's neck, making Cade wrap his arm around her again.

"Jo, I'm sorry to wake you up, but uh… Lucy's having fever and Lindsay could not come. We have a crime scene and uhh.. can you please come down here?" Mac said hesitantly on the phone.

"Umm, yeah… sure, Mac. Text me… the address?" Jo uttered.

Mac smiled at Jo's sleep laden voice as he imagined her struggling to keep her mind from dozing off midsentence.

"Actually it's the Sparks', the child abuse case." Mac said, wondering if Jo was awake enough to recognize the name and the case.

"Uhh… Sparks? The one yesterday?" Jo asked, suddenly alert.

"Yeah. The mother's dead."

"Okay, I'll be there." Jo confirmed. She threw her phone on the bed behind her and snuggled closer to Cade.

"I thought you have a case?" Cade asked her when he felt her snake her arm around him.

"Yeah. Give me another minute." Jo said kissing Cade's neck.

"Don't start, Jo or you'll never get to the crime scene." Cade threatened.

"Oh hush. Just hold me for a minute more." Jo said smiling as Cade held her tighter against him.

Jo finally sighed when Cade released his hold of her.

"Your minute's up." Cade said looking at her sleepy face.

"But I don't want to leave this warm spot. It's cold outside." Jo whined burying herself further in the sheets.

Cade chuckled before reaching down to guide Jo's face towards his. He let his lips glide over hers before leaning down further as he kissed her.

"Tell Mac," Cade muttered in between kisses "you're not going."

"I already said yes." Jo mumbled as she kissed him back.

Cade smiled when Jo moaned in protest as he released her lips.

"Then go now. They might think that you got lost on your way there. I'll see you later." Cade said, running his hand over her arm as if to make her feel warm.

Jo sighed heavily again before finally getting up to dress.

* * *

"Hey, you're exceptionally grumpy today. Intruded something?" Don teased Jo when he saw the scowl on her face as she walked up to where he was.

"Oh shut up Don, you would not want to mess with me today." Jo retorted with a smirk.

"Oh, feisty! Something's definitely going on when Mac called." Don grinned mischievously at Jo who glared playfully at him.

"What's going on when I called?" Mac asked from behind, startling both Don and Jo which caused him to smile when he saw them jump at the sound of his voice.

"I just noticed Jo was exceptionally grumpy today so I thought you might have disrupted something when you called her here." Don said, beaming at Mac. "I heard the boyfriend's here?" Don added, looking at Jo.

Mac blushed when he realized what Don was implying before looking at Jo.

"Oh shut up. Nothing's been disrupted. Let's go to work." Jo said turning around to walk where the body was.

"I heard some of the lab techs were busy checking him out. Cute, some said." Don quipped as he walked behind Jo and Mac.

"Well, thank you. He is." Jo said winking at Don which made him chuckle.

"What you think Mac? Is that FBI agent who was making our Jo happy, good enough for her?" Don asked, turning to Mac and stopped suddenly when he saw the serious look on his face.

"I believe we've got work to do, Don." Mac said sternly as he squatted over the body.

Jo heard the cold tone of Mac's voice and looked at Don while subtly shaking her head at him.

Don shrugged at Jo before he started briefing them about the crime scene.

* * *

"Hey Jo, I'm sorry you had to cover for me this morning." Lindsay said when she entered their office.

"No problem. How's Lucy?" Jo said, taking a sip from her mug.

"Her temperature has gone down so I left her with Danny. The virus got him too but he's better now. Thanks Jo." Lindsay smiled at her but fatigue was evident on her face.

"And you, are you okay?" Jo inquired, concerned about her.

"Yeah, just a little tired. But I'm okay. So, it was Liza Sparks?" Lindsay asked.

"Yup. Beaten to death. The DNA on the cigarette butt was hers right?"

"Yeah. But it does not mean that she was the one who put those burn marks on Leo's body." Lindsay said, summoning to mind what they had found out yesterday.

"Yup. And the father's nowhere to be seen." Jo said looking at the report meaningfully.

"Are you thinking that maybe it was the father who did it to his own child?" Lindsay asked, her eyes almost afraid of what Jo was trying to say.

"Or it was Liza who did that and the father beat her to her death because of it." Jo said, locking eyes with Lindsay.

"I could not imagine how a parent could do that to her own child. What's wrong with these people?" Lindsay said, disgust written all over her face.

"Jo, the print on the steel rod you found beside the body was a match to a male suspect who was arrested a few years ago for theft." Sheldon said, showing the tablet to Jo. "Don was now running across the state, chasing after him when he ran away from the squad car at checkpoint."

"Is he the father?" Lindsay asked, Jo's theory still running on her mind.

"Well, they have facial similarities." Sheldon said, looking at the mug shot.

Lindsay shook her head at the possibility of Jo's theory.

"I hope he would be caught soon." Lindsay mumbled to no one in particular.

When Benjamin Sparks was brought in to the precinct, he denied beating his ex-wife to death saying he had not gone near her since they separated. But the fresh print on the steel rod, and the CCTV footage at the corner of the street where the mother and son lived that showed him walking towards the house, were proofs that he was lying. It took them almost an hour before Benjamin Sparks finally admitted what he had done, proving Jo's theory correct. He saw the marks when he visited their 13-year old son at school and flared when his son told him that Liza would do that to him whenever she'd be high on drugs.

Jo looked for Lindsay after the case had been closed and hugged her when she found her standing beside the vending machine.

"Thanks Jo. I just could not understand how a mother could do that to her own child. I was about to lose my mind when Lucy's temperature spiked and then here comes a case of a mother placing cigarette burns all over her child's body, treating him no more than a mere object she can play with." Lindsay said when Jo pulled away to look at her.

"I understand what you're feeling, Linds. I don't get them too. You should go home and take a rest. It had been a long day for you." Jo said, squeezing her hand.

Lindsay nodded at Jo and thanked her again before turning to leave, suddenly feeling the urge to go home immediately and hug and kiss Lucy until she whined for her mother to stop.

* * *

Mac was staring out of the window again but his mind was not somewhere far, somewhere he could not recognize like in the past few weeks. Tonight, he knew very well where his mind had gone to and it was to a place near his heart. He was thinking of what Don had said earlier. When he asked him if he thinks Cade was good enough for Jo, he did not answer and pretended to be more interested with the case on hand but the truth is he did not know what to tell him. He had not met Cade outside the context of work and even then they only had had a short interaction. He saw how he cared for Jo a couple of times and the affection he saw in him at the hospital when Jo was shot looked genuine. Judging from the way Jo had been smiling and laughing, and how her eyes danced whenever anybody would talk about Cade, he could see that she was happy, just like how Don had said. Her happiness was radiating from inside, but he still want to know what the tears meant. He wanted to know also what she had told Sid that she could not tell him.

Mac shifted ever so slightly in his seat, his eyes almost glazed over as he continued staring at the tiny dots of lights in the distance. He was oblivious to everything around him, being his mind was focused to only one thing, that he did not even notice the silhouette that had been lurking near him.

Mac thought of the time Jo had been devastated when she learned that Ellie was on her way to see her biological mother. She had practically opened up her soul to him, not minding if he would criticize her for what she had done. While now, she chose to pour her heart out to somebody else and refused to share even the tiniest detail to him. He remembered the agony on her face the eve of her sister's death anniversary. He felt honored then because she chose to share her most kept secret to him. He did not expected that things would only turn for the worse.

Mac's mind had shut itself down from other thoughts. He was being hypnotized by the only things that were welcomed by his mind, making him put all of his defenses down.

He wondered if Cade also knew about Leanne. He wondered if he knew about whatever it was that she had told Sid. He wondered how much of the things that she had shared to him since she started at the crime lab had she also shared to Cade. He wondered how much had she shared to Cade that she did not share to him.

He was not surprised when Don had asked him what he thought of Cade. Everybody knew that he cared for his team like a father to his family. He was always looking out for everybody, as they always look out for him. But he could not tell whether Cade was good enough for Jo. He was worried about her, for what he had witnessed after the Johnson case. And he was not sure if Cade had nothing to do with that. He was not even sure if his opinion about Cade would matter at all, when Jo was not even seeking it.

Mac's mind felt hazy when realizations, confusions, disappointments, came crashing down on him all at the same time without warning, leaving him reeling into a strange realm he had not been into since Claire's death.

"Who are you so worried about?" A voice said from somewhere far, it sounded almost an echo to his ears as if in a dream.

"Jo." He said unconsciously, his mind still trying to sort out what was real and what was only a dream, or if anything was real at all.

Christine sucked in a breath when Mac said Jo's name.

"What about Jo?" Christine asked, almost afraid of what he might say next.

Mac snapped out of oblivion when he heard the strain on Christine's voice. He looked at her, confusion written all over his face.

"I'm sorry?" Mac asked, trying to remember what they had been talking about.

Christine stared at Mac's baffled look, realizing that he had blurted out Jo's name unconsciously. She felt the pain shot through her heart when she became aware of the fact that Mac did not even bother to screen his answer because he was not even aware of her presence. It became more painful when she realized that while all of his defenses were up whenever she would talk to him, he did not feel the need to protect himself when it comes to Jo. Even just thinking of her was enough to make him feel comfortable and safe, not feeling the threat of being vulnerable.

"What about Jo, Mac?" Christine forced herself to ask him, her voice a mixture of hurt, fear, and anger.

"Jo?" Mac asked again, his mind trying desperately to remember what he had said about Jo.

Christine puffed and glared at Mac.

"I asked you who you are so worried about and you said Jo. So I'm asking you what about her?" Christine's exasperated voice had surprised Mac. He was not expecting an outburst like this.

"Are you mad?" Mac asked, looking at Christine worriedly.

"Just tell me what happened to her and why are you worried about her." Christine's cold voice rendered Mac speechless at first but he regained his composure and started telling Christine what he was thinking about earlier.

"It was not only me who was changed by the Johnson case, Christine. Jo changed too. She would suddenly become too quiet, and there was this one time when she cried at the lab which we'd never seen her do but she won't tell us why. It was unnerving to see someone as strong as her to be like that. And I can't do anything to help her because she was not telling me anything." Mac said, hoping that Christine would understand and won't make a big deal out of it.

"Maybe she was not telling you anything because she didn't want you to help her. She's got someone now, maybe she doesn't need you anymore." Christine said angrily.

Christine's words cut through his heart like a dagger. He knew what Christine said might be true but it was nothing like the Jo that he came to know. Deep inside he knew there was something more behind Jo's actions, he just could not figure out what.

"Maybe." Mac said in an attempt to end the conversation.

"Then stop worrying about her." Christine cried. "Do you think it's easy for me to see you being like this because of her?"

"Wait, Christine. We are a family in the lab. It does not mean that just because Lindsay has Danny, or Jo has Cade, I would just turn my back on them even though I can clearly see that something was wrong. My responsibility to them does not end when we leave the lab. I care for them as they also care for me. I can't just stop worrying about them just so I can relax and do instead what you expect me to do." Mac could feel his irritation starting to rise as he tried to make Christine understand how his relationship with his team was.

"What I expect you to do? Okay! I expect you to be with me when you're here at home. Instead of sitting here, physically present, but your mind's somewhere else. I don't think it's too much to ask, is it?" Christine said sarcastically, aware that her voice had risen.

"Okay, Christine. I'm sorry." Mac said, trying to push down his emotion. "I'll try not to be like that anymore." Mac said walking to where Christine was standing.

Christine had wanted to say more but she knew it would do only aggravate the situation so she settled into his arms, when Mac pulled her into him.

Mac could feel his heart thumping in his chest and wished that it could drown out the single thought that was starting to embed itself into his mind.

_She doesn't need you anymore._

* * *

**_Hi everybody, I'm sorry if this took a longer time to be uploaded. Too many things have been going on and... well, sorry for this. I was just able to come up with this one and it's far from how the previous chapters were. But please don't forget to R&R... Thank you._**


	28. Chapter 28

_**From Chapter 27**_

_Christine had wanted to say more but she knew it would only aggravate the situation so she settled into his arms, when Mac pulled her into him._

_Mac could feel his heart thumping in his chest and wished that it could drown out the single thought that was starting to embed itself into his mind._

_She doesn't need you anymore._

**Chapter 28**

"Good night, Linds!" Jo exclaimed, all bundled up, when Lindsay entered their office.

"Have a nice evening, Jo." Lindsay said but Jo noticed the lack of her usual enthusiasm.

"Is everything okay?" Jo asked, as Lindsay slumped down on her chair.

Lindsay sighed before looking up at Jo.

"It's been almost a week since the Sparks case and I still could not get over it. I mean, the boy killed himself to escape his mother's abusive ways. He did not know who to turn to and he felt like there was no other way but to kill himself. I just can't get over it. A child should be able to seek and find safety in his mother instead of running away from her because she is a threat to his safety and well being." Lindsay leaned back in her chair and thought of the peaceful expression on Leo Sparks' face when they found him inside the car.

"His suffering had finally ended." Jo said as if reading Lindsay's mind.

"Hey babe, what's wrong?" Danny asked when he noticed the look on Lindsay's face.

"Sparks" Lindsay simply stated.

"Oh, not that again." Danny said, patting Lindsay's hair. "Let's go, they're waiting for us."

"Yeah, the change of environment might help. Go and enjoy the night." Jo said as she tightens her scarf.

"You're not going with us?" Danny asked as the three of them walked out to the hall.

Jo shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"Uh huh, why?" Danny asked, a smile starting to play at the corner of his lips.

"You have plans with Cade, don't you?" Lindsay asked, her eyes shining, the earlier despondency had already been cast aside.

Jo chuckled at Lindsay.

"Yes, I have, actually." She said smiling.

"I'm really happy for you, Jo." Lindsay said sincerely as they got on the elevator.

* * *

"…you'll know it's Jo." Don said, making the guys around him laugh.

"You'll know it's Jo what?" Jo said from behind them, as they got off the elevator.

"Busted!" Adam said, making Don and Sheldon laugh harder.

Mac was standing beside Don with a big smile on his face.

"Nothing, we were just exchanging anecdotes about your morning grumpiness." Cade said and gave her a quick kiss on her lips when she reached his side.

Mac looked away just as Cade's lips touched Jo's, suddenly feeling embarrassed to see them kiss, his smile gradually fading from his face.

"And you're not on my side?" Jo said, smacking his arm playfully.

"Uh, I don't want to lie in front of so many CSIs. They'll call my bluff." Cade said teasing her.

Jo glared at him playfully, before linking her arm into his.

"Okay guys, we'll go ahead. Enjoy the night." Jo said cheerfully, about to turn away from them.

"Oh no, Jo. You're going with us. We want to know more about Agent Cade." Don protested, looking at Mac for support but did not receive any. "We need to know if he's not some FBI agent who's under cover and is out to get you." Don joked, not noticing the uneasiness on Mac's face.

Cade noticed it, though. He did not know Mac that well, but he knew that look of uneasiness and for a split second, he wondered if the discomfort was because of him being with them or because both of them would be with Jo.

"Yeah, JD, your boyfriend seems cool, you might want to share him with us." Adam quipped but then scratched his head when he realized what he had just said.

"Uh, that did not come out good." He muttered, emitting laughter from the team.

"Come on, Jo. You can date tomorrow. Join us tonight. It's been a long time since the last time we went out together." Danny said.

Jo rolled her eyes at them before looking at Cade, her eyebrows raised. Cade knew that it was her way of asking him if he wanted them to join the team.

Cade shrugged before grinning at Jo.

"That's it! I like you already, man. One brownie point for you." Don exclaimed causing another round of laughter.

Jo did not have any intention of going with them especially because Cade was with her. Opportunities for them to be together were hard to come by and she wanted to make the most out of it. She was also worried of how Cade would feel knowing that Mac would also be with them. As for her, Cade's presence was enough for her not to be perturbed by any worries about Mac. In the end, she decided to let him decide if they should go with the team or not.

* * *

"Hey, you two lovebirds, you might want to tell us what's so funny about whatever it is that you're talking about. We need a good laugh too, you know." Don yelled at Jo and Cade who were walking a bit behind from the rest of them, making Jo laugh more.

"Oh, Don. You're just jealous because Lovato's not with us." Sheldon teased Don.

"Wow, way to go, Jo. Everybody's on your side." Don mocked her, before turning to face Mac, both of them leading the way to the restaurant.

"We'll be partners for tonight, whaddya say, Mac?" Don said patting Mac's shoulder, making Mac shake his head at him, smiling at his goofiness. "Then you Adam, you're with Sheldon." He said jabbing his thumb at Sheldon.

"Don, you haven't had anything to drink yet and you sound like you're already drunk." Jo said from behind, making the team laugh.

"Ohh, Jo Danville strikes back." Don said, stopping to wait for Jo. "Well, what's a lonely guy to do huh? You're happily walking with your boyfriend, arm in arm, while… look at me, I'm alone and unhappy." Don feigned a sad look on his face, trying to keep his smile from showing.

Cade could not help but chuckle at the scene in front of him. He had never witnessed such a light, loving relationship among team members in FBI. It was a novelty for him to see the admirable camaraderie this team had.

"Aww… come on, I'll be your partner tonight." Jo said, releasing her arm from Cade's to hoop it into Don's.

"Hey… how can you be so bold, Jo. He can see us." Don said in a low voice, pointing at Cade's direction.

"It's okay Don, he understands." Jo said, playing along with Don's game.

"Oh, okay. Don't worry man she'll be all yours when we get to the restaurant." Don said to Cade, making him laugh.

"You better make sure of that." Cade retorted, feeling comfortable around them.

"Jo, he's so generous, I don't want him to feel lonely. You can link your other arm in his, too. I won't mind." Don said smiling.

"Oh, thank you." Cade said, looping his arm into Jo's, enjoying the playful vibe around them.

Everybody was smiling and laughing as they watch the mini scene played by the three of them, except for one who was displaying a forced, tiny smile on his lips.

* * *

The newly-opened restaurant was bustling with people and an available table for eight persons at dinner time was almost next to impossible. Lucky for them, a table would be open in just a few minutes so they opted to wait at the bar instead of trying their luck on another establishment. The bar though, aside from being dim, lit only with subdued lighting, was almost the same as the main dining area in terms of the people milling around, waiting for a table. They split up into three small groups with Jo and Cade in one, Mac and Don in another group, and Danny, Lindsay, Adam and Sheldon as the last group.

When the maitre d' informed them of the availability of their table, Don stood up to look for Sheldon's group at the head of the bar near the doors, telling Mac to look for Jo and Cade at the far end of the bar, near the back. Mac was about to protest but Don had already immersed himself into the sea of people. Mac sighed and navigated his way against the throng of people who were coming and going around him. He finally located the familiar figure sitting on a stool a few steps away from him and he carefully picked his way towards her, dodging drinks and people as he went. He was only a couple of steps away from her when he suddenly stopped dead on his tracks, his throat suddenly went dry. He wanted to immediately turn away but his mind lost control of his body when his feet won't move, and his eyes stared at Jo and Cade who were tenderly and lovingly kissing each other, oblivious of his presence.

He felt paralyzed and could only be thankful when someone accidentally nudged him, breaking the spell. He turned away at once, feeling all the blood in his body rushed up to his head, making him feel a little dizzy. He had just taken a couple of steps away when he stopped walking upon hearing someone calling his name and turned around to see Don.

"Have you told them yet?" Don asked him, his eyes searching behind Mac when he did not see Jo and Cade with him.

"Uhh, no. No, I… umm, I didn't see them." Mac uttered, thinking of any reason he could come up with to get away from Don's gaze.

"Are you okay?" Don asked him when he saw the troubled look on his face.

"Yeah. I'm just going out to make a phone call. You go and look for Jo." Mac said, leaving a confused Don behind him.

Don went the same way Mac had gone and took only a couple of steps before he found Jo and Cade smiling at each other, gazing into each other's eyes.

"There you are." Don said, walking nearer to them. "Quit the lovesick look, our table's ready."

Cade grinned at Don's remark and at Jo's flushed face.

"Okay, how about the others?" Cade asked as he held Jo's elbow when she stood up from the stool.

"They're at the table except for Mac who went out to make a call." Don sighed heavily.

"I asked him to look for you guys while I go get the other group only to bump into him just now, on his way out telling me that he did not see you when you were just a couple of steps away from where I saw him." Don said, his concern for his friend growing as he speaks each word out.

"Oh you know how he is, he never liked crowded places." Jo said, noticing Don's worried look.

"Well, yeah. But when I asked him if he'd seen you yet he stammered his way just to tell me that he did not. And he got this troubled expression on his face that… I don't know. I'm just worried about him, I guess." Don finished, waiting if Jo would confirm his observation.

"Maybe it's something about work. You said he rushed out to make a phone call?" Jo said, trying to remember if there was any sign that they should be worried about Mac that she could had dismissed before.

Jo stopped walking when she felt her arm being stretched too far back. She turned around and saw that Cade, who was holding her hand, had stopped walking.

"What is it?" Jo asked him when she walked a couple of steps back to him.

"Detective Flack, where did you say you saw Detective Taylor when he went to look for us?" Cade asked Don when a thought crossed his mind.

"There" Don pointed at the spot where he saw Mac, thinking that Cade might have observed something too.

Cade looked at the distance of the spot where Don said he saw Mac to where they were sitting, and made some calculations in his head.

Jo saw the knowing look on Cade's face and asked him about it.

"Nothing. Just that it was really dark where we were sitting and the lights over head where he was standing might have obscured us from his vision." Cade said instead, not wanting to let both Jo and Don know what he had in mind.

Don shrugged at him relieved and disappointed at the same time when he had not observed the same thing Don had.

Jo kept an eye on Mac through dinner and noticed the discomfort Don was telling them earlier. She could only guess, though if it was something about work, or Christine. She did not want to ask him about it and preferred to just wait for him to talk to her if he wanted to, but she intended to keep an eye on him and make sure that he's going to be fine.

* * *

Jo shifted her body to face Cade, causing Cade to loosen his hold on her so she could move. He had been holding her from behind, watching her as her shoulders went up and down in synch with her breathing.

Jo let her arm drape around his waist, nestling up to him. Cade pulled her closer to him before placing a kiss on top of her head, making Jo open her eyes.

"You're not asleep yet?" She croaked when she saw him looking at her with no trace of sleep in his eyes.

"I'm not yet tired. Go back to sleep." Cade said kissing her forehead.

"Is something wrong?" Jo asked, drowsily, "You suddenly became quiet at dinner."

Cade shook his head at her before tucking her again into his chest, willing her to go back to sleep.

"I saw it, Cade. At the bar. Tell me what you did not say earlier." Jo said, pulling away from his embrace, struggling to keep her eyes from closing.

Cade sighed heavily, knowing that Jo would not let this conversation end without knowing the truth.

"I just made some calculations." Cade said lazily, hoping that his voice would lull Jo to sleep.

"When Mac was where Don said he was standing, and if he's really looking for us, it would be impossible not to see us." Cade said gently, trying to work out in his mind how to tell Jo what he thought had happened.

Jo heard what Cade said but her mind was still fuzzy with sleep and his breathing and low voice was easing her back into dreamland.

"But I thought you said…" Jo muttered against Cade's chest, not capable of even completing her question when sleep started to cloud her mind.

"I only said that because I don't want to create some… confusion especially with Don there." Cade mumbled against her head.

"The time when Mac went to look for us," Cade whispered as he tried to envision the scene again in his closed eyes.

"We were kissing, Jo. Not that he did not see us, but he saw us kissing that was why he did not go near us." Cade sighed, his arm unconsciously tightening around Jo as if by instinct.

"Hmm... It would be too… embarrassing for him to approach us?" Jo asked sleepily, unsure if it was Cade who was being vague or her mind had already fallen asleep.

Cade smiled bitterly when he realized how much Jo was struggling to stay awake, thankful that she was barely conscious, making it difficult for her to be able to form her perception. But at the same time hoping that Mac was really just too embarrassed to approach them.

"Yeah. He might think he was invading our privacy." Cade murmured instead. "Let's have some sleep before we go crime busting later." Cade said, trying to distract Jo's train of thoughts, stopping her from thinking more about it.

"Hmmm… okay…" Jo purred as her mind totally let go of consciousness, drifting her off to sleep.

* * *

Mac looked up when he heard someone knocking on his office door.

"Hey. I brought you lunch." Christine said smiling as she entered Mac's office.

"Thanks. I'm too swamped with work I did not even know it's lunch time." Mac said, giving Christine a quick peck on the lips as she put her purse down on the coffee table.

Christine looked at all the papers on Mac's desk and frowned.

"Lot of work, huh. You do this every day?" Christine asked, her eyes scanning his desk.

"Pretty much. Except if we have a crime scene to work on then I'd be out working somewhere in the whole of New York." Mac said, smiling.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it then. But don't skip your lunch." Christine said as she started walking out of his office.

"Thanks." Mac said as he sat back down to his chair.

Christine walked a little slowly, her eyes roaming around the lab as if looking for something. When she did not seem to find what she was looking for, she proceeded to the elevator and waited for it to send her down to the lobby.

Christine had just gotten off the elevator when she heard Mac calling her.

"You left your bag in my office." Mac said, handing the small purse to Christine.

"Oh, thanks. I've forgotten all about it." Christine said, hoping that Mac would not notice that she forgot her bag because her mind was preoccupied with something else.

Mac was about to say something when he heard a cheerful voice, chattering and laughing, coming from the lobby. He knew that voice by heart, and his heart started beating fast with her every drawl.

"What? I can't believe you haven't tried that. You should live a little, dahlin'." She said in exceptionally strong accent, which Mac knew was intentional.

Mac knew she was teasing somebody when he heard her use that heavy accent, and could not keep himself from smiling, waiting to see who had fallen victim to her merciless teasing.

"You show me how to live, dahlin'."

Mac's smile froze on his face when he heard the man's voice. He had already familiarized himself with that voice and knew who it belonged to even before he saw him.

"Hi, Jo." Christine said when she saw Jo and Cade walking in the lobby towards them.

"Christine! Hi! Haven't seen you for a while." Jo said, grinning widely at her.

Mac and Cade shook hands with each other and exchanged pleasantries before Mac introduced Christine to Cade.

"I saw you together the night you flew in. You walked past by the restaurant and you were so cute together, so happy." Christine beamed at them. "Hey, why don't you join us for dinner at the restaurant tonight? Say 7?" Christine said enthusiastically, earning a surprised look from Mac.

"But Christine… they might already have their own plans. Agent Conover is not always here in New York." Mac said in the most neutral tone he could come up with.

"Oh, do you have any plans tonight?" Christine asked, intentionally looking at Cade instead of at Jo.

Cade did not know what was going on but the look on Mac's face told him that this was something unusual for his wife, and something in his eyes told him that he did not want them to accept her invitation. He opened his mouth to decline her invitation and make up some excuse but Christine beat him to it.

"Come on, I'd like to get to know the person who's making Jo happy." Christine said, smiling broadly at Jo. "I'll get offended if you don't come." She added, turning her eyes to Cade, hoping that this would be enough to make him agree.

Cade looked helplessly at Jo but Jo was as shocked as Mac. Put under the spotlight, Cade did not have any choice but to accept her offer, albeit reluctantly.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight." Christine said, shaking Cade's hand and giving Jo a quick hug before she left.

Mac stood there, not quite sure what to make of the scene that had just happened. He was only able to focus again when he heard Cade's voice.

"I'll go ahead, Detective Taylor." Cade said, extending his hand to Mac, which he took in his, nodding at him.

"I'll pick you up tonight." Cade said to Jo, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Jo turned to face Mac and they both went up to the lab, neither one of them saying anything as if both were contemplating about the dinner tonight.

* * *

Mac kept on glancing at his wristwatch as if expecting someone to come or to call. Actually, he was not expecting anything at all. He was in fact, dreading the dinner tonight and as the time for them to go gets closer and closer, he could not shake the doubt that was starting to bother him.

For the past weeks, Christine's interest of Jo had instilled fear in him. He could not understand why was he scared, but somehow felt that it was logical for him to feel so. That fear got stronger after the argument they just had a couple of nights ago when he accidentally told Christine that he was worrying about Jo.

Mac was startled by his ringing phone and breathed deeply when he saw it was Christine who was calling him. Mac's forehead creased when Christine reminded him of the dinner, crystallizing the dread in him. After the call, he went out to look for Jo to remind her of the dinner before going back to his office to finalize some reports.

Mac, Jo and Cade arrived at the restaurant simultaneously, not knowing what to expect. When Christine came out to greet them, she told them that she closed down early so that she could join them. Otherwise, she would be spending the whole time in the kitchen, given the crowd at dinner time. After Christine ushered them to a booth near the window, she went back to the kitchen to serve the food. They all ate in silence at first, no one daring to initiate a conversation, aside from the compliment Jo and Cade would give Christine on her cooking skills.

The awkwardness waned little by little as the night progressed, starting from when Christine asked Jo how she and Cade met. Jo told her about her FBI stint and when she started dating Cade. The story then progressed into multiple stories as they answered questions upon questions from each other, making each of them feel relaxed.

Jo was telling some funny anecdote from her FBI days, her face glowing from all the laughter and red wine, her eyes radiant with glee, when Christine subtly glanced at Mac who was sitting beside her, silently listening to Jo. She did not expect to see what she saw and she felt her heart flinched in her chest.

Mac was staring, mesmerized at Jo. His eyes that were full of adoration, were fixed on her, so much so that he did not even noticed that Christine had been glancing at him since Jo started telling the story. His face was one of admiration that even a blind man could see how enthralled he was with the woman who was talking animatedly across from him.

Mac could only hear Jo's voice and nothing else. He could not hear the low humming of the radiator, the AUV that had just blared its horn, nor the clanking of the fork against the plate when Jo's hand accidentally brushed against it. He could also only see Jo, and no one else. It was like in a dream where your vision was only focused on the clear scene itself, while the edges were blurry making sure that you'd only take notice of the important thing, and nothing else. He saw Jo smile, laugh, roll her eyes, and gesture with her hands. He saw her shrug her shoulders, crinkle her nose, and lick her bottom lip. But he did not see the things that he should have seen.

Jo saw the serene look on Mac's face and could only be thankful that the anxiety Don had told her about had gone. She thought that since Christine had brought him lunch earlier, his anxiety the night before was brought by an argument they had had and they had finally fixed things up, and lunch was her peace offering for him. After that night in September when Mac poured his heart out to Jo, she realized that his marriage was not as happy as she thought. She knew that arguments between married couples would never be avoided. But for Mac to tell her everything, she knew that it had gone too much for him to make him open up to her like that. She could only be thankful now that they had seemed to sort their differences. The last thing that she wanted was for Mac to regress and go back to his shell; the shell that she had tried so hard to break since she met him.

Jo was talking jovially, looking alternately at Mac and Christine, when Cade took a sip of water. It was not intentional on his part. He just wanted to drink. But as he tipped the glass to drink from it, his eyes leveled with Mac's face. The water was almost touching his lips but it never did. Cade felt his heart hammered against his chest and his windpipes constricted too tight. He suddenly felt the need to swallow to ease his dry throat but ended up coughing when he almost choked in his own saliva.

Mac heard Cade's coughing and it broke the enchanting spell. He looked at Cade a bit shaken as if he'd just come out of a trance, oblivious of anything else that had happened before he snapped back to reality. He felt like he had lost his soul and it had just gone back to his body when Cade coughed.

"Are you okay?" Jo asked Cade, blotting his mouth with a napkin, her other hand patting his back.

"Yeah, I… just choked on the… water." Cade said, as he took another napkin and patted his shirt with it when the water that he was about to drink spilled on him when he coughed.

"I'll get you another napkin." Christine said, about to stand up.

"No, it's okay. Thank you. I'm fine." Cade said, smiling embarrassedly at Christine.

Christine looked at Mac who had not said a word yet, and saw the change in his expression. His forlorn look as he watched Jo patting Cade's back, while wiping at his mouth, told Christine so many things that she could had never known if this dinner did not happen. She just did not expect him to be this transparent. Then she bitterly remembered why he was this transparent. Jo was with them. He did not feel the need to protect himself. All of his defenses were down, because Jo was with them.

When they had settled again in their seats, Christine was telling them how she started the restaurant after Jo asked her about it, when Jo languidly leaned back in her seat, her right arm tenderly draped across Cade's knees, making Cade hold her hand, instinctively. When Christine told the story of her brother, Jo reached over the table to hold Christine's hand as her way of sympathizing with her.

Mac watched the exchange between the two ladies and the calmness on Jo's face as she molded into Cade's arm when he put it around her. She was so relaxed and so open that he could not help but feel the ache in his heart when he remembered how their relationship had changed after the Lewis case and then again after the Johnson case. He wished for them to go back to how they were, yet again. But he did not know how to initiate it when he did not even know what changed between the two of them and why.

It was already past 9PM when they decided to call it a night. Cade and Jo expressed their thanks to Mac and Christine before going out of the restaurant as Christine stood up to clear the plates. She was almost at the kitchen door when she stopped and looked over her shoulder at Mac who was sitting alone at the table they had just vacated.

Mac was looking down at the glass of water in front of him, while watching the two moving figures outside the restaurant from the corner of his eye. When he heard the faint sound of a car door being shut closed, he slowly raised his head and dared to look out the window, to look at the female passenger whose company he had just enjoyed, even without exchanging much conversation with her tonight. Her mere presence had been adequate enough for him.

_Much like when…_ Mac smiled bitterly when he remembered that moment.

'…_Your smile is adequate enough'_

Mac could still feel how his heart had thumped in his chest then, making him smile wider, and foolishly at Jo.

Mac snapped out of the beautiful daydream when he heard the car engine's soft roar and watched as the car mingled with New York traffic. He watched the car until it was out of his sight, Jo in it with another man.

Christine went inside the kitchen when she saw Mac slowly turning his head away from the window. She placed the dishes in the sink before gripping its edge tightly. She took several deep breaths but it had only been in vain when tears started trickling down her cheeks. After a few minutes, she wiped at the tears and took in a single deep breath before going out of the kitchen to go home with her husband.


	29. Chapter 29

_**From Chapter 28**_

_Mac snapped out of the beautiful daydream when he heard the car engine's soft roar and watched as the car mingled with New York traffic. He watched the car until it was out of his sight, Jo in it with another man._

_Christine went inside the kitchen when she saw Mac slowly turning his head away from the window. She placed the dishes in the sink before gripping its edge tightly. She took several deep breaths but it had only been in vain when tears started trickling down her cheeks. After a few minutes, she wiped at the tears and took in a single deep breath before going out of the kitchen to go home with her husband._

**Chapter 29**

Mac carefully got out of bed and padded to the living room silently so as not to wake Christine up. He sat at the armchair near the window which had accompanied him through a lot of difficult times. He looked out to the almost deserted street beyond him, before leaning back in the chair.

He had been trying to sleep for the past couple of hours but he could not. Every time he'd shut his eyes, all that he could see was Jo's laughing image. It could have been fine, but he would also see the way she draped her arm across Cade's knee, and the way she gently patted and rubbed his back. He would open his eyes and take a deep breath then close his eyes again and think of all the unsolved cases that were waiting for him on his desk. But in just a few seconds, Jo would permeate his mind again followed by Cade.

Mac ran his hand through his hair, exasperated. He had always told his team to always be thorough and to do their jobs with utmost integrity. He had asked them to do their jobs honestly, all the time, whether it would make or break the case. But the truth was, he was the one who had not been honest. Jo was a dear friend, a very dear friend. And he had thought that it was just that, a beautiful friendship. Then he tried to block the truth out. He denied it, pretended, and lied to himself. And now, the truth had caught up with him. He should not have fooled himself. He should have known that he could not fool himself.

When Jo told him to go home from a crime scene, he tried to argue with her a little but knew that he would eventually give up and just go home. And he did. If it was anybody else who did that to him, a lecture on who's the boss and how he wanted his business to be conducted would be inevitable. Actually, that would never be a problem because nobody would ever dare do that, except for Jo. When she asked him to walk her down to her car, he happily agreed, and it took all of his self control not to grin foolishly at her and yet he was not able to hide that shy smile entirely. He felt like a superhero then, ready to protect her from anything. When he let her tease him to play video game with Adam, he would not admit to anybody, but he tried to impress her by showing her that he could be fun and playful, and he could also be good in video games, that's why he attacked Adam's character in the game. And when she pestered him to watch movie with the team, well, who could say no to that purring she used on him? She could had used that tone and asked him to eat blueberries and he would willingly induce himself to a coma due to allergic reactions. He had realized then that he was helpless around her. When he told her that she never disappoints, he had wanted to pinch her cheek, squeeze her hand, and just do anything to touch her. So in the end, in the lamest way he could possibly end up with, he playfully punched her. Damn. He felt like a dork then but he could not think of anything else to do. When she teased him about being a father and a grandfather, he did not need to 'buy her a burger and a light beer' because they were already about to go home, and he would not have to hear her teasing for too long. But he wanted to go out with her. Her company was something that could be addicting. Just like tonight.

He could try and fool himself all he wanted, and die trying. For every time that he would see her smile and laugh, not because of him but because of Cade, it was like stabbing his heart repeatedly. He was happy to see her happy, only, he wished that he was the one who brought that happiness to her. He used to be that person who'd make her smile widely, laugh wholeheartedly, but that time had gone and he could not bring it back anymore.

He knew he could blame nobody else but himself. People always say that you'll never know how much a person means to you until that person's out of your life. He had experienced losing a very special person once, and although he knew how important Claire was to him, her death had only proved to him how much she really meant to him. That's how he realized that she was practically his life. He knew that Jo meant much to him too but even during the first time he felt her slowly pulling away from him, right after the Lewis case, he did not do anything about it.

Mac ran his hand over his face. His mind churning out images of what had happened in the past, things that he wanted to change, if only he could. He could clearly remember how his relationship with Jo had deteriorated over time to what piece of thin thread it had been hanging onto now.

Everything was fine with them before. Then Jo got a little too close, and it scared him. Jo walked into his life and caused him to change, and though the changes were for the better, he was overwhelmed by the fact that a woman he barely knew could bring out those changes in just a very short period of time. Then Jo started pushing him to date, and eventually pushed him to Christine. When he saw Christine having problems with the restaurant, he thought of Stan and how much he cared for her. He had thought that maybe he could care for her too, now that Stan was gone. And before he knew it, he's already gone too deep, too far more than what he meant to do.

_I'm a catch. And you're gonna lose me._

Mac could still remember her saying that to him. He was put on the spot and… How could he reject her? His mind was with Stan when he thought of how he could tell her that he wanted to take things slowly. From the very start, he was careful of his every move so as to let her know that he's taking things one step at a time. He kissed her on her cheek at the party and he did not expect what she did next. If she was anybody else, like that journalist who had been bugging him earlier that time, it would be easy for him to reject her and walk away. But she's not just anybody. Then he got shot and she was there every single day and he thought _do I leave her after everything that she'd done for me?_ But the most painful thing that she'd done to him, the thing that he won't ever forget was when she judged him when he didn't tell her about his memory, and her response to him when he finally admitted the truth.

Mac shut his eyes when his heart started thudding in his chest as his mind wandered to a forbidden place.

Mac met Cade and realized who he was.

_An old flame. We used to date._ Mac smirked when he thought of how Jo described Cade to Lindsay when she asked her about him. He had thought of barging in their office and call her bluff then. Because as far as he's concerned, the fact that Cade looked for her in New York during his vacation meant that things between them were not put behind yet, so her using of past tense of everything should not be the case.

Now he could clearly see that Cade was part of her present and most probably of her future too. And because of Cade, for each day that passed, Mac realized how much Jo _really_ meant to him.

If he only knew how much more she could mean to him.

* * *

Jo had thought that the dinner would be awkward but it turned out to be fun. At least until she started telling that funny story, then the ambience had suddenly shifted to something she could not explain. She caught Christine looking strangely at Mac, while Mac seemed to be calm about things. Then Cade choked on his water and she noticed the changes between Mac and Christine. She could not tell what might have happened between them but she could feel Christine's discomfort and Mac's disappointment. Mac had been exceptionally quiet and it left her clueless as to what he was thinking. She could not look at him for too long to try and observe her way to figure out what was happening to him. She did not want Cade to take it wrongly if she'd spend time looking at Mac. When Christine invited them earlier, she had been too surprised to think of how to politely decline her invitation. She could only hope that the dinner did not aggravate the rift between Mac and Christine.

Jo felt eyes watching her and looked up at Cade.

"Where'd you gone to?" Cade asked when Jo finally looked at him.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the dinner." Jo said, not wanting to divulge further.

"What about the dinner?" Cade asked, knowing that Jo would eventually tell him what had been running in her mind.

Jo contemplated what she would tell Cade. She did not want him to get any wrong ideas but it was her nature, although a frustrating one, to speak her mind out.

"Have you noticed anything strange tonight?" Jo asked, trying to know if he saw the changes too, or she was just overanalyzing things.

"What strange things?"

"Between Mac and Christine." Jo said, sitting up on the bed, causing Cade to sit up too.

"Can you clarify your question?" Cade asked, his mind wandering back to the restaurant.

"Well, I saw Christine looking strangely at Mac, like she was observing him or something. And I don't get it because Mac seemed to be fine. Then suddenly Mac looked disappointed and Christine looked bothered. Did you notice those too?" Jo asked, frowning.

Cade did not answer her question immediately and appeared to be thinking about it. What Jo did not know was he was not thinking if he had noticed the changes or not. He had not noticed Christine but he saw Mac. And he was thinking about which part of what _he_ had noticed would he want to tell her.

"I just noticed that Mac was very quiet. But he was the same the other night, when we had dinner with them. I thought…" Cade said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, he's a quiet man but tonight his silence was just phenomenal. He had hardly uttered a word." Jo said, her frown deepening.

_I know why._ Cade thought as he remembered what he saw when he was about to drink his water.

"What I find strange is while Christine had been observing him, he had this calm look on his face. I mean, there should be something wrong going on to make Christine feel that she has to keep an eye on him. But there's no trace of anxiety or worry on his face." Jo said trying to piece the puzzle in her mind.

_And he couldn't take his eyes off of you._ Cade thought and felt a pinch in his heart.

"Then suddenly he was disappointed about something and she was bothered." Jo added, her curiosity making her treat it like one of their cases.

_If she saw what I saw, then she should be bothered._ Cade thought looking at Jo's own distressed look.

Jo sighed. "I kept on thinking about Don's words. Maybe something really was wrong with Mac. I hope it's not the problem he used to have." Jo said vaguely, not wanting to betray Mac's trust. He was not keen on letting people know about his aphasia and she respected that.

"Whatever it is, Jo, it's between them." Cade said, looking at her.

"I know, I'm just… worried, I guess. When Don told us about what he had seen in Mac, I took notice and saw the bothered look on his face. Then it was gone earlier and I thought whatever the problem was, it had already been solved, only for it to reappear halfway through dinner. They did not say much to each other tonight, and when Christine invited us this afternoon, I noticed Mac's reluctance. I hope the dinner did not fan the flames of whatever it was between them." Jo said, looking down at her hands.

"I think they're old enough to handle their own problems." Cade said pulling Jo close to him to place a kiss on her head. "Stop worrying anymore."

* * *

"Mac, Sinclair was asking us to RSVP for the fundraising dinner on Saturday." Lindsay said, placing the invite on his desk.

"So I heard. Can you please tell the others to do it already so that we can focus on the cases?" Mac said, scowling at the invite.

Lindsay smirked at him.

"Parties and dinners are like blueberries, huh? You're allergic to them." Lindsay said as she walked out of his office.

Lindsay had just stepped out when Jo came through the other door, holding a stack of files in her arms.

"Freshly baked, hot-off-the-press." Jo said, placing the files on his desk making him sigh.

"Tired?" Jo mocked, taking the opportunity to look at him closely, trying to find out if he was okay.

"A bit. But, it's because of this." Mac said, handing the invite to Jo. "Sinclair's order, RSVP ASAP."

Jo chuckled at him, making him smile.

"We talk in abbreviations now?" Jo said as she opens the envelope.

"Oh, and we all have to go?" Jo asked, putting back the invite inside the envelope.

"Yeah." Mac said taking back the invite from her, just as her phone rang.

"Okay. I'll do that ASAP." Jo said chuckling as she looked at the caller ID while walking out of his office.

"Hey stranger. Missed me so soon?" Mac heard Jo drawled on her phone, rendering him powerless over the smile that was slowly creeping its way up his lips.

He suddenly thought of the conversation he had with Christine when she was out shopping for Lucy's birthday gift. She had been helpless then, unable to make up her mind on what to buy Lucy and at the same time worrying about how his team would see her. He had teased her then by asking if he should send a squad car to rescue her and he had smiled when in the end she told him to just go and solve crimes. Powered with this memory, he reached for his phone and dialed her number.

"Mac?" Christine almost yelled through the phone. Mac could hear the banging and clanking of pots and pans in the background and knew that he called at a bad time.

"Christine, things are quite busy there, I suppose." Mac said, trying to pursue as he had planned.

"Yeah, a big group just came in. Why did you call?" Christine asked, wanting to rush back to work.

"Uhhh… nothing, I… uhhh…" Mac stammered when he realized his call won't work out as planned.

"Mac? Is this something that can't wait?" Christine asked again, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Actually, I need to know if you could go with me on Saturday night on the fundraising dinner I told you about. We were told to RSVP now." Mac said instead when he saw the invite on his desk.

"What dinner?" Christine asked, suddenly confused.

"The…" Mac did not get to finish when Christine cut him off.

"I remember now. Oh, I don't know, Mac. I forgot about it. I booked a reception on that same time." Christine said, after giving her calendar a check.

"Oh, okay. But are you sure you won't be able to come even after the reception's done?" Mac asked, once again, being thorough in everything he did.

"I don't think I can anymore. I'd have to close down and all that work…" Christine said apologetically.

"Okay then. Well, that's all Christine. Bye."

"What's with the look, boss?" Danny asked when he entered his office just as Mac put down his phone on his table.

"I'm flying solo on Saturday." Mac said, taking the top file from the stack Jo had sent him earlier.

"I see. Nothing new, Mac." Danny said making Mac raise his eyebrows at him.

Danny chuckled at him before handing him a paper.

"RSVP. My lovely wife asked me to do it instead. Shall I give it directly to Sinclair's secretary or will you have the honor of doing it?"

"I'll do it. Don't want to let him in on the biggest secret that I'm not particularly keen on these things." Mac said sarcastically as Danny went out of his office, laughing.

Mac was scanning the list when his eyes caught something written somewhere on the upper half of the list. He ran his eyes again from the top of the list until he saw what had caught his attention.

_Det. Jo Danville ~ Agent Cade Conover_

Mac stared at their names before scrawling his name at the bottom of the list, leaving the space opposite his name, blank.

* * *

"I don't think they'd approve you showing up dressed like that." Cade said from the door, making Jo turn around to face him.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Jo asked, looking down at her dress worriedly. She was wearing a teal colored dress that brought out the color of her eyes, cinched at the waist with a muted gold brooch that made the dress hug her figure perfectly. She was about to put on her bronze high-heeled strappy sandals when Cade suddenly spoke up from behind.

"None of the guests would pay attention to the speeches. They'd all be looking at you and guys would clamor for your attention." Cade said smiling as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Jo crinkled her nose and snickered at him.

"It means you'd be fighting for my attention, then." Jo said seductively at him before biting her lower lip.

Cade's eyes darkened before swallowing hard. He pulled Jo closer to him before kissing her deeply.

"It's tempting to cancel right now." He said to her when he released her lips.

Jo untangled herself from his arms before turning away from him to fix her make-up.

"We can't. Sinclair will kill me if we don't attend this dinner." Jo said smiling mischievously at him through the mirror.

* * *

"Mac, this is a fundraising dinner not a funeral." Don whispered to him, playfully patting his back.

Mac scowled at Don, making him smile wider at him.

"I see Sinclair made you stand here and be part of the welcoming party, huh. I think you should smile a little even if you feel like strangling him." Don teased further, grinning at him.

"You better scat or I'll let you stand here on my behalf." Mac whispered back to Don, making him laugh before walking away from him.

"Don giving you a hard time?" Lindsay asked, smiling at Mac as she gives him a quick hug.

"You know Don, annoying at times." Mac chuckled at her.

"You go ahead, I'll just look for you later." Cade told Jo when his phone rang, just as they were about to enter the ballroom.

"Okay. We're at table six." Jo said before she went in.

Mac had just shook the hand of someone he had never seen before when he caught a glimpse of her. He watched her as she walked her way down a short line of people who were part of the welcoming party to his direction, the last to greet her before she finds their table. Mac took in everything about her as he waited for her to finally step in front of him, noticing the dress that showed off her figure, perfectly wrapping itself around her curves. The welcoming party was just composed of eight people but he felt like it was taking her far too long before she finally reached him. When after what he felt was a lifetime, he finally heard her voice calling his name.

Mac felt his heart skipped a few beats when he saw her up close. The overhead muted golden yellow lights gave her a glow and he realized that her dress brought out the colors of her eyes, making him swallow hard when he made the mistake of gazing at them. He reached out and pulled her gently into a hug, much like what he gave Lindsay and all the other lady guests that he knew, except he had embraced Jo a tad too long.

"Aren't you honored that you're part of the welcoming party?" Jo teased him, knowing that he hated playing the part.

Mac rolled his eyes before chuckling at her.

"All of you had been teasing me about that, wait till we get back to the lab and…" Mac was not able to finish what he was saying when he saw a hand appear somewhere on her right side and rested on her waist, its arm snaked from behind, encircling her lower back. His eyes traced the hand to the arm that's connected to the person now standing on Jo's left side and felt his face move on its own accord to display a poker face.

"Hey, done with the call?" Jo said when Cade reached her side.

"Yeah, developments on the case." Cade said to her, before acknowledging Mac's presence.

Mac held his hand out to him which Cade shook, before his hand assumed its earlier position.

"Table six is right there." Mac said, pointing at the direction of their table, prying his eyes off on the intimacy in front of him.

"Okay, thanks." Cade said, as they started walking to the direction of table six.

Mac tried hard to look ahead but in the end he lost the battle when he casually turned and watched as Cade and Jo made their way to table six, his hand placed tenderly on her waist. His mind suddenly thought of what Drake Hill had said in the observation room. _'I would just have to be contented in looking at the greatest love of my life from afar, happy in someone else's arms.'_

Table six was placed near the dance floor, facing the right side of the stage. It was a long walk from the doors where they had entered which was far across the stage.

"I suddenly loved attending formal dinners." Don exclaimed, grinning at Jo when Cade and Jo finally reached their table.

"Hey Don." Jo greeted, as Cade pulled her chair for her.

"Agent Cade, nice to see you again." Danny said, looking teasingly at Jo after.

Jo gently shook her head at him, smiling before she introduced Sid to Cade.

"It's not always that I'd see you this…" Don paused and appeared to be thinking hard before finally sighing as his face blushed under the stares of the people on their table. Fortunately for him, table six was reserved only for them so his embarrassment was confined only within their family.

"Oh, you're blushing now?" Jo teased, winking at him, making him blush more deeply.

Cade chuckled at what Jo's charm can do. If she can render her colleagues, people who were supposed to be used to her ways, embarrassed and blushing like teens, how much more those who were not used to her adorable flirting? Cade thought amusingly.

"I mean, you know, it's not like you wear dresses every day. You just go to work dressed ready to kick ass…" Don smiled, shrugging at her.

"Quit it Don. You already lost when Jo winked at you." Sheldon said, eliciting a laugh from the rest of the team.

"Happy aren't we?" Mac said from behind them.

"Mac, done greeting people?" Danny teased, making the team laugh yet again.

"Luckily." Mac said, looking at the only vacant seat beside Cade.

"Best seat on the house, Mac. Reserved just for you." Adam quipped when Mac stayed standing.

"Thanks." Mac could only utter as he sat reluctantly beside Cade.

After the speeches were done, lights were dimmed, save for those trained on the dance floor. The dance floor was bathed in a soft glow, enough to make people see what they're doing but not too bright to cause glares, a perfect lighting to suit the atmosphere of the event.

When the music started, people ambled to the dance floor, including Lindsay and Danny, and Don and Jamie. After two songs, Don and Jamie went back to their table while Lindsay and Danny headed for the refreshment table.

"Hey boss, you're turn." Adam said when Don and Jamie sat down.

"No, Adam. Thank you." Mac said, taking a sip of water.

"Come on, Mac. Jo, will you dance with him please? I'm afraid the poor man's blood might clot if he sits the whole night through." Don said, looking at Jo.

Jo tensed up a little upon hearing Don.

"Agent Cade, would you mind if Jo…" Adam said, pointing at Jo and then to Mac animatedly.

"Sure. Go ahead, Jo." Cade said smiling at her.

Jo could see through his smile and knew that he was just going along with the teasing. She could see the discomfort in his eyes and she did not want him to be put under the spotlight, so she stood up.

"Okay Mac, time for cardio." Jo jokingly said, making even Cade chuckle a little.

They were walking towards the dance floor when another ballad came on. Jo could not remember at once the title of the song that was playing but was certain that it was a Barry Manilow song, revived by a female singer she could not recognize.

"Those boys are unbelievable." Mac said as he put his right hand on her waist while holding her right in his left.

"They're just worried about you." Jo said, smiling at him.

Mac could only stare at her dazzling smile as they started moving following the beat of the song. When the chorus came on, Jo drew in a breath. She could barely move her feet and realized that Mac was almost stationary too.

_If I should love again_

_If I find someone new_

_It would be make believe_

_For in my heart it would be you_

_And though I hold him close _

_And want him now and then_

_I'll still be loving you_

_If I should love again_

Mac shifted his gaze from Jo's smile that had now disappeared from her lips, to her eyes. He gazed at those eyes and willed them to drown him in them. He could see a hint of sorrow in them and he knew that his eyes were also reflecting the same. He felt his heart raced and slowed down at the same time, and though he knew that it was physically impossible, he would not dare doubt his heart especially when he was experiencing difficulty in breathing. But he continued gazing at her and felt the world spin around them until everything was blurry, except for those eyes that were rendering him immobile.

Jo tried to avert her eyes from his gaze but his eyes had locked on into hers, making it impossible for her to look away. She swallowed the lump at the back of her throat and blinked back the tears that were starting to fill her eyes. She felt her heart threatening to break away from her chest as the words stamped their marks on it. She could hear her pounding heartbeat and for a while, she had wondered if Mac could hear it too. She willed herself to look away and she tried hard but she was only able to avoid his stare when she thought of Cade. Her eyes immediately sought Cade in the dimmed ballroom and though she knew where their table was located, the people dancing around them, and the lights above them that contrasted with the dimness surrounding the dance floor made it hard for her to see him.

Mac looked down at his feet when Jo looked away. He had wanted them to continue looking at each other but it was better this way. He could now move his feet and he could breathe again. His heart had started beating normally again, but he could feel a large void within.

Cade had been watching them from where he was sitting. He could see that something had changed and though he did not know what it was at first, he finally understood what might had happened when the lyrics started to permeate into his consciousness. He felt his heart plunged deep when he looked up and saw the looks in their eyes. He looked at Mac and though he was not as perceptive as Jo was, Mac's eyes were transparent enough for him to see through his heart. He watched when after a few seconds more, the spell between them suddenly vanished and he saw Jo looking around to the direction of their table. He knew what she was looking for. She was looking for him; the equilibrium of her world that had been disturbed by the significance of one single song. But he was not ready to be seen by her yet. So he slid down his chair hoping that the hazy glow of the lights trained on the dance floor and the dimness of the rest of the ballroom were enough to obscure him from her.

She had not planned to come tonight, but the reception had ended earlier than expected when a fight almost broke out between the groom's father and the bride's uncle. She had already gone home when she saw the invite on their bed and decided to go and see if she would be let in. She realized she was already too late when she arrived at the venue and saw that the speeches were done, and the dancing had already commenced. She was trying to find the right table when she saw Mac stood up. She had already started walking towards him when she saw him stopped to let a woman walk in front of him, his hand slightly hovering at her lower back. Her heart slammed in her chest when she recognized Jo. She forced herself to swallow to ease her dry throat but even swallowing had proved to be difficult for her. She turned around and walked towards the side of the ballroom, far enough not to be seen but near enough for her to see them. She could only be thankful of the lighting contrast. This way she could see them, but they could not see her. She watched them dance and for a while she had almost convinced herself that there was nothing to be jealous about but when she saw Mac stare at Jo, all her confidence started dwindling down. When they both looked away from each other, Christine decided to go back home.

"Mac," He heard her call him and forced himself to look at her.

"Umm… I'm sorry, but my shoes are not built for dancing for too long." Jo said smiling hesitantly at him.

"Okay, yeah… I guess, we could go back…" Mac said, holding his hand out gesturing for her to walk past him.

Cade stood up to pull Jo's chair for her when he saw them return. When he sat back down beside Jo, she held his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. He squeezed her hand before placing a kiss on her temple.

It was almost time to go home and some guests had already left but the CSI table was still full. Nobody had gone home yet, not even when Jo approached Sid and his wife to subtly ask if he wanted to go home yet.

Jo felt Cade looking at her and turned her head to face him.

Cade smiled at her, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"Would you dance with me?" Cade asked, to which Jo replied with one of her charismatic smiles, her eyes wide like a child's.

Mac turned around at the sound of Cade's chuckle and looked at the expression on Jo's face. He could not help but smile at her childlike ardor; it was impossible not to get infected by her smiles.

When they got to the dance floor, Jo placed her arms over Cade's chest, her hand lightly clinging onto his shoulders. Cade wrapped his arms around her waist and they both started moving in time with the music, staring at each other's eyes, smiling. Though unplanned, both were thinking of the last time that they danced this way. It was on the yacht, the night the truth had set them both free. When Cade thought of how hard Jo had tried to say that she loved him back but could not bring herself to say it, the heartbreaking moment had reflected itself on his eyes. Jo saw the shift of emotions in his eyes and knew what he had in mind. Her eyes mimicked his when she remembered how much she had wanted to love him back then but could not. After a few seconds, they both smiled at each other before Cade pulled her closer to him, his cheek against the side of her head. They both closed their eyes, forgetting everything and everybody around them as if they were the only ones left in the ballroom, and nothing else mattered because they had each other.

Mac stood up and bid the team good night without waiting for Cade and Jo to return to their table, saying that it had been the dinner that he had stayed the longest. What he wanted to say though was it was the most painful dinner he had to endure.

* * *

**The song used in this chapter was If I Should Love Again by Barry Manilow.**

**Thank you everybody for still reading. I really appreciate it. I hope you'd like this chapter. And to guest reviewer Priscila, thank you. **

**Enjoy guys! Please don't forget to R&R.**


	30. Chapter 30

_**From Chapter 29**_

_After a few seconds, they both smiled at each other before Cade pulled her closer to him, his cheek against the side of her head. They both closed their eyes, forgetting everything and everybody around them as if they were the only ones left in the ballroom, and nothing else mattered because they had each other._

_Mac stood up and bid the team good night without waiting for Cade and Jo to return to their table, saying that it had been the dinner that he had stayed the longest. What he wanted to say though was it was the most painful dinner he had to endure._

**Chapter 30**

Jo moaned softly when Cade kissed her deeper before tugging at her lips.

They came home to an empty apartment when Ellie called her mother to tell her that she was going to stay at her friend's to finish a project. Cade had been cracking jokes and teasing her on their way home, telling her that he bribed Ellie to give them privacy and he'll do her homework for a week in return. She had expected for a giggly, fun lovemaking but all her expectations failed when Cade laid her down on the bed and gazed deeply in her eyes.

When Cade enjoined their bodies, she felt like he went through not only her body but her soul. She opened her eyes and gazed at him and she was almost consumed by the intense emotion burning in his eyes. It was not sexual desire, not sexual passion; it was nothing sexual. And for a while she could almost see sorrow in them. There was something very different in him that made her feel like it was his heart and soul that were making love to her. But that hint of sadness in his eyes told her that he was harboring an emotion so fervent it was as if he was hoping that he could make love to every single cell of her body. His every agonizingly slow movement went deeper and deeper into the very core of her persona, as if he was desperately trying to reach her soul. Her heart.

When Jo tightened her arms around him as she moaned out her bliss, Cade cried out her name in a voice tinged with bleakness.

Cade finally laid down beside her and wrapped his arm around her.

"Cade, what's wrong?" Jo asked, looking up at him as he gently moved her head and placed it on his chest.

Cade slowly brushed locks of hair away from her face while his eyes caressed her face before they finally settled into her eyes and looked at them lovingly.

"I love you." Cade whispered to her, not daring to say it louder for fear that his voice might betray him.

"Let's get some sleep." He added immediately, tucking Jo into his chest, wrapping his other arm around her, not even waiting for her response.

"Is there something wrong?" Jo asked, her hand clutching at his waist.

"Nothing." He simply said, making Jo become more suspicious.

"Cade… Tell me." Jo said, running her hand over his back.

"Nothing, just…" Cade hesitated as he tried to think of anything to say to her and thought of the exact thing he needed.

"The call earlier about the case." Cade said, trying to see if he could get away with that little answer.

"What about the case?" Jo asked, wanting to know what he was trying so hard not to tell her.

"We think we're getting close to the subject. This case might be over soon." Cade let his statement hang in the air before he added another.

"I'm going to have to go back soon." Cade finally said, kissing Jo's forehead.

It was not the entire truth. In fact it was not what Cade had been thinking about but it was the safest and the only thing he knew how to tell her.

Jo clutched at him tighter, almost crushing their bodies into one.

"How soon?" Jo was almost afraid to ask.

"Maybe early next week." Cade said, already feeling the same dread that he had felt when they were in California.

"That's very soon." Jo uttered, almost wanting to ask him to stay with her instead.

"Yeah. We'll just make the most out of the remaining days that I'm here." Cade whispered to her, to which she nodded her head.

"Sleep." Cade mumbled against her head, closing his eyes.

When he felt Jo's body became heavier in his arm and heard her deep, even breathing, Cade opened his eyes and gently shifted his body, careful not to move too much so as not to wake her up. He pulled a little bit away from her, just enough so that he could see her face. Cade watched Jo sleep, and somehow felt like he might have not many chances left to do so. He was not even thinking of the fact that he was about to go back to San Francisco.

When Jo sought him out through the crowd at the dinner earlier, he slid down his chair to hide himself. He knew that if Jo saw him that time, she would not be able to find her peace. She would just be bothered if she saw him because he doubted if he was able to keep his own emotion from showing on his face.

He tried to recall that scene in his mind, while looking at Jo's peaceful sleeping expression.

_No wonder you couldn't move on, Jo. He cared for you that much, too._

* * *

Mac found Christine sitting on the kitchen with a bottle of red wine sitting almost empty beside her.

"Hey, enjoyed the dinner?" Christine greeted him when he walked up to her, her words starting to slur.

"You know I hate those expensive dinners." Mac said as he attempted to take away the goblet from her.

"Let me drink, Mac. It's almost gone, anyway." Christine said, moving the goblet away from his hand.

"Why were you even drinking?" Mac asked, sitting down beside her. She never drank this much. He was worried something might have happened in the restaurant.

"I just want to. So what happened to the dinner? Were you the only one without a partner?" Christine said as she took another sip of wine.

"In our table at least, I was the only one without a partner." Mac said, waiting for an opportunity to snatch away the goblet in her hand without her taking offense.

"Oh, so you mean Cade was there too?" Christine asked, making Mac frown.

"Yes. He was there." Mac said, his mind suddenly becoming alert of what might be the underlying cause of the question.

"Did they dance to a slow song?" Christine asked, looking at Mac intently.

"Yes. They danced. Look Christine, give me the glass. Let's go to sleep." Mac said, reaching for the glass, but she moved it further away from him.

"Poor you. So they all danced while you waited at the table?" Christine slurred at him, her eyes trying so hard to focus on him.

"No, some did not dance, like Sid and Adam." Mac said patiently, thinking that it was the wine talking.

"And you?" Christine asked, squinting a little at him.

Mac thought of what to say. He could lie to her and tell her that he did not dance and the conversation would be done. Or he could tell her the truth knowing that in her state right now, he could only imagine to what extent she was going to twist the story.

"I danced too. They won't let me just sit in there." Mac decided to tell her the truth. He did not want to lie to her because there was nothing to be afraid about. He had done nothing wrong anyway.

"Oh, that's good. With whom? Lindsay?" Christine asked, pouring the last of the wine on her glass.

"No. With Jo." Mac said, looking closely at her. "Adam and Don asked her to dance with me because Lindsay was with Danny and they were also dancing." Mac said, hoping that she would trust his words.

"I thought Cade was there?" Christine asked, her eyebrows raised at him.

"Yes. But they did not dance at first." Mac said feeling his heart starting to beat faster. Christine's tone had changed into one of suspicious and he did not like what entailed it.

"So he let you dance with her? How pathetic!" Christine exclaimed, shaking her head.

Mac frowned angrily at Christine but smoothed his forehead even before Christine had faced him again.

"You've had too much to drink already. Come on. Let's get some sleep." Mac said standing up to take away the glass from her which she angrily moved away from him.

"Why? Isn't it true? What man would let his girl dance with another man?" Christine spat fiercely at him.

"Christine, you're drunk. Enough of this." Mac said, his patience almost running out.

"I'm not drunk. I still know what I'm saying. Tell me about her." Christine said, taking a sip of wine.

"Enough Christine. Let's go." Mac said, walking to her side but was taken aback when Christine almost leapt out of the chair, keeping her distance from him.

"Tell me Mac, is she a good dancer?" Christine asked, her eyes starting to get blurred with tears.

"Christine, please. We've both had a long day, let's just get some rest and then we'll talk tomorrow." Mac said calmly as he attempted again to take the glass away from her.

"No, Mac! _I_ had a long day while you had fun. Now answer me, is she a good dancer or not? How did you feel when you were dancing with her?" Christine yelled, her eyes blazing with anger.

"I don't understand, Christine. What's with all these questions about Jo?" Mac asked, as he tried to keep his voice down.

"What does Jo mean to you? How important is Jo to you?" Christine screamed as tears started trekking down her cheek.

"You don't know what you're talking about anymore. You're too drunk to carry a conversation." Mac was about to approach her again but he suddenly stopped when Christine hurled the glass to the floor.

Mac crossed the short distance that was separating them and tried to get hold of Christine but she pushed him away. He tried to hold her again, knowing that her strength won't be a match to his strength but her words stopped him from taking another step towards her.

"What do you exactly feel about her?" Christine asked angrily.

"This is ridiculous Christine. Jo is my second in command and she's a friend." Mac said, clenching his jaw angrily. His heart was racing so fast in his chest he almost felt nauseous but he kept his poker face on.

"That's it? She's just those? Are you sure?" Christine asked, staring him in the eye.

"Yes Christine. Please stop this." Mac said, clenching and unclenching his fist.

"Are you sure there's nothing more?" Christine asked, taking a step towards him.

"What do you really want to know? Why don't you just say what you think was going on since it seemed like you knew things that I don't?" Mac said, his racing heart was just fueling the anger that he was feeling.

"Oh, okay. Let's see. During that dinner at the restaurant" Christine began, staring at Mac's eyes.

Mac swallowed when he felt his heart slammed in his chest as he waited for what Christine would say next. It took all of his energy to look at her when all he wanted to do was to leave. This is his reality and he could not seem to face it.

"You were staring at Jo as if nothing else but she existed. You were so mesmerized with her that you did not even notice that I've been watching you. Then you got hurt when you saw how she took care of Cade. Tell me why you reacted that way, Mac. Because I've been thinking hard about it and I think you should put my mind to ease." Christine yelled as she brushed angrily at her tears.

"Christine, nothing's going on between Jo and me. Please believe me." Mac said clutching frustratingly at his head. He did not realize things had gone this far. He didn't realize that he had put his defenses down that night. But he was more shocked to know that he was that easy to read.

"I saw it Mac. I'm not blind! I saw it that night and I saw it again tonight. I was there, Mac. I saw you dancing with her. And I saw it again!" Christine shouted at him.

Mac's heart pounded harder in his chest. He stared at Christine as if trying to detect if she was telling the truth or not. He did not see her, but then the place was dim and if she's claiming that she'd seen them dancing, then it would not be possible for him to see her because his attention was focused to one person only. She could have stood right in front of him but he would not even notice her as he was drawn to the hazel eyes that were drowning him in them.

"The way you looked at her, Mac. You never looked at me like that." Christine whispered, looking away from him.

"Christine, it's… it's nothing, okay?" Mac said quietly at her as he tried to close the distance between them again. He had thought he'd managed to keep it to himself. He wondered if anybody else had found out about what he had been too careful not to show.

Christine walked further away from him when she saw him took a step towards her.

"It's not nothing, Mac. You'd told me before. You had shared dinners together, she asked you to go window shopping with her, the video game, that profile page… Nobody else could ask you to do those things right? And nobody could expect you to really do those things. Only Jo. Jo's everything, Mac." Christine exclaimed, as fresh tears came rolling down from her eyes.

"Christine, please let's just leave her out of this. Please." Mac said pleadingly at her.

"Why, Mac? She's the other half of the equation, why should we leave her out of this?" Christine's voice had started to rise again as she glared at Mac.

"No, Christine. She's not. This is between us." Mac said sternly at her.

"Okay! What am I to you?" Christine shouted again, her eyes full of anger.

"Christine… please…" Mac said, trying to appease her.

"Just answer the damn question Mac! At least be man enough to answer that simple question. What, you forgot how to formulate the words to your answer?" Christine said lividly at Mac, not realizing that she had hit him with a low blow.

Mac looked at her furiously.

"That's not fair Christine. You should know that. Are you going to hold it against me for the rest of my life? Is it too big a hindrance that you could not look past it?" He roared at her, her words felt like knife cutting through his flesh.

"Then why the hell can't you answer a simple question?" Christine fumed at him, ignoring the pain and anger in his eyes.

"Well I married you didn't I?" Mac said in fury.

"Yes! It was I whom you married, but is it me whom you really love?" Christine shouted not bothering to wipe the tears that were strolling down her cheeks.

"Did you marry me because you love me? Or you married me because you were too scared to cross the line to be with the one person you really loved, all this time?"

"What? What are…?" Christine cut him off.

"You may love me Mac, but you love her more, ever since. You were just too bounded by your professionalism that you stop yourself from giving in every time you come too close to doing just that. I may not be as smart as her, Mac. But I hope you won't fool me thinking that I would not notice it." Christine's voice was ice-cold; something that he'd never heard her use on him before.

"Christine! Can you hear yourself? Do you even know what you're saying?" Mac's face was starting to flush out of nervousness and anger. It was like watching a scene unfold right before his very eyes. It was had become too real for him.

"Yes. I have never been this certain about anything else, before. It's my fault really. When you asked me to marry you, I agreed even though I knew about how you feel towards her. I thought when we're already married I could change your heart. I thought me being a wife to you would be enough to make you forget about her." Christine ran her hand through her hair. She still appeared to be tipsy but her words could not be any clearer.

"I heard so many times before that you should not be together with someone who you hoped you could change. And yet I did just that. I had wanted to change you. It was like a challenge to me. I thought if she could change you then maybe I could too. They said you should be with someone only if you love him with all that he is and all that he's not. And I thought I could handle those that you are not, Mac. But I guess you already know I could not. I have nobody to blame but myself really. I chose this path. I just hope that you can be honest with me, and stop trying to fool me because it's so painful for me to watch you look me in the eye and lie so blatantly."

"You thought I wouldn't notice? Even on our wedding day, did you really think that I wouldn't notice that it was her who you sought out immediately after the ceremony? Even when we were dancing our first dance as a married couple" Christine chuckled bitterly "First dance, but you're thinking about her. I saw her leave, Mac." Christine stressed angrily, her eyes glaring at him.

"Then I saw your eyes following her outside, your eyes willing her to… I don't know… come back or something. Your body's moving in synch with me, but your mind, most especially your heart is with her." Christine bellowed, almost trembling in anger.

Christine suddenly paused.

"It has always been with her." She whispered, clutching at her head as she felt it throb in pain.

"You know what; I think you're too drunk. Take a rest Christine, go to bed. I'll spend the night at the lab and come back tomorrow, then we'll talk again." Mac turned to leave but Christine stopped him.

"You're too stubborn for your own good. I don't know how you do it, really. You were so brave fighting crimes. You're this gun-toting, modern superhero, and yet you're a big coward deep inside." Christine's voice was dripping with sarcasm and disgust.

Mac's anger was showing now. His eyes were glowering at Christine, his fists balled at his side, his breathing heavy. She did not know what he had to go through every day just to let the victims have justice, and then here she was telling him that he was a coward.

"What? Don't want to be called a coward? But you are! Why can't you face the truth? Why can't you just admit it?" Christine's high-pitched scream was echoing around their apartment, giving it higher impact when it reached Mac's ears.

Mac used whatever little control he has left and turned to leave their apartment.

"I think this is it, Mac. I could not continue pretending anymore. You can pretend that everything's great about us, but I can't take it anymore." Christine mumbled as she sank down into the couch, exhausted.

"What? Christine, no. We're going to talk tomorrow. Okay?" Mac said, finally able to go near her without her pushing him away. His day had just gone to worst.

"What's there to talk about Mac?" Christine sighed heavily.

"We started out wrong; our relationship should not even have begun. And when we saw that truth, we're just both too stubborn to end it. So look at us now. We're both suffering." Christine looked at Mac with glazed eyes caused by the alcohol and her tears.

"I don't want to suffer for the rest of my life, and I suppose you don't want that too. Let's end this Mac." Christine said as the tears rushed down again.

"No Christine. We're going to work things out." Mac said adamantly.

"What, Mac? You want to fool us by thinking that things would get better? Are you capable of stopping yourself from loving her? From thinking about her? Can you stop me from doubting you? From thinking that you might be with her whenever you'd have something to finish at work? We won't be happy, Mac. I don't want that." Christine stood up from the couch and took her purse from the table.

"Christine…" Mac attempted to come up with anything to say to convince her that their marriage could still be saved, but came up with nothing.

"When Jo was shot, you kept on having these nightmares. I asked you about it, you lied to me. You said they were about your cases, your team." Christine looked at him, her eyes teeming with pain.

"You kept on calling out her name, Mac. I would be awakened by your sobs and would hear you crying out her name. Over and over, every single night. You were so afraid of losing her." Christine wiped at her tears before looking back at him.

Mac paled upon hearing her words. He was not aware that he was crying out her name. He was not aware of the sobs. But he swallowed hard when he recalled that horrifying day he thought would snatch Jo away from him, like Claire was snatched from him.

"Can you tell me something, Mac? Why did you proposed to me?"

Mac stood staring wide-eyed at her, gaping. He tried to think of an answer but he could not say the truth. And after everything that had been said, he did not want to add another lie to their situation.

Christine nodded at him.

"I thought so. I'm going to stay at the restaurant tonight." She said walking towards the door.

"Stay here. I'll stay at the lab." Mac said, stopping her from leaving.

"But we'll talk about this again tomorrow." Mac said before he went out the apartment.

Mac went down to his car and sat there, his mind processing what just happened, his body unable to move as if an anvil was burdening him down. He did not want to lie to her. He did not intend to hurt her but it was exactly what he had done. He did not want their marriage to end. He loved her too, but she was right. He loved Jo more. He was not even certain now what kind of love he had for Christine.

Mac gripped at the steering wheel tightly.

He did not want to fight. It was never in his character to fight with a woman especially his wife. That was why he just let her say everything that she wanted to say. But her every word cut into him deeply. Not a single thing that she said was untrue. He wanted to fix things up, he did not want his marriage to end, but he did not know how to fix it. They had been living in a world of make-believe and even if they both knew it, they refused to acknowledge the truth and went ahead and continue. Christine was right. He was a coward.

Mac felt a tear escaped from his eye, followed by another. In a span of a few seconds, his heart had finally exploded and hot tears came rushing down his cheek. His marriage was a failure. His memory was a failure. His heart was a failure.

Mac gripped at the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles turned white. He sobbed quietly, his whole body trembling as the pain chewed on him, consuming him alive. Finally, when his eyes could not produce tears much faster as he needed it to, he smacked the steering wheel twice to release some of the burden that had been weighing his heart down, as misery swallowed him whole.

* * *

It was almost 2:30AM when he got to the lab. He went inside his office, closed all the blinds and locked himself inside. His body was already exhausted and his mind was also weary. But he could not stop it from thinking.

He did not want to end their marriage but he did not want to be selfish and be unfair to Christine. He was so confused and clueless of how he could fix things up, but he knew he wanted to.

Thoughts of his dream of Claire came wandering into his mind. She said everything will fall into place but to him it seemed like everything was falling apart.

_'She needs you to hold on'_ Claire had told him.

He wanted to hold on, but to what when Christine was so resolute to end their marriage, he didn't know. He thought of what Christine had said earlier. He thought she had accepted his flaws, most especially his memory problem. It was so painful for him to know that she could not get past it when it was not even his fault that it happened to him. He was shot…

Suddenly, Mac sat stock-still, almost afraid even to breathe.

'_I need you to hold on, Mac.'_

He could remember now. When he was shot and in limbo, suspended between life and death, someone had told him the exact same thing. He had wanted to give up then, but her voice telling him to hold on... Jo needed him to hold on, he had thought.

Mac felt like all air was knocked out of his body.

_Why had I not remembered?_

Then another memory flashed in his mind.

He hastily pulled out his phone from his pocket and scrolled through the messages. He could only wish that it was still in his phone. He scrolled down, his heart beating wildly, his thumb trembling. Alas, he found it.

'Everything will fall into place, at the right time.'

Mac shut his eyes tightly and breathed through his mouth. His mind was reeling with all the realizations. He could hear his heart pounding as if it was about to burst, his palms were sweating and they were cold.

All this time, since the dream, he thought Claire was talking about Christine. He thought Claire was talking about Christine when he told her that she needed him to hold on, and it was logical considering all of the things that had been happening to them. And then he had thought that Claire was telling him that even with the arguments and the misunderstandings, everything will fall into place, that everything will be sorted out and things would get better, at the right time.

Mac had thought that all the while, Claire was referring to Christine when in fact she was referring to Jo. It was Jo who had said all of those things that Claire had repeated to him. It was Jo who needed him to hold on. It was Jo who...

Mac felt like all the blood was drained from his face, making him feel lightheaded. The air in the room suddenly got stiff, and it was as if the walls were closing in on him. He could not breathe.

_'She loves you so much, Mac'._

It was Jo.

* * *

Jo felt little bursts of heat followed by something soft being randomly pressed lightly onto her face and frowned, wondering if she's dreaming.

"Wake up sleepyhead." She heard Cade said softly.

Jo opened her eyes and realized that Cade had been kissing her awake. It was his breath that made the little bursts of heat, and it was his lips that were being pressed onto her face.

"Good morning, you. Taking advantage of me?" Jo murmured smiling.

"Good morning to you, too. No, I'm not taking advantage of you. In fact, my lips hadn't touched this yet." Cade said smiling before kissing Jo's lips.

Jo moaned contentedly, smiling against his lips.

"It's already seven thirty in the morning, you have to get up." Cade said sitting up on the bed, looking at Jo.

Jo yawned before slipping back into the sheets.

"Five minutes more." She uttered before closing her eyes.

"No, no more five minutes." Cade said, pulling the covers back, making Jo wrap her arms around her shoulders.

"You're mean. It's so cold." Jo pouted, sitting up beside him.

"I want to eat breakfast with you, even a quick one will do. But it won't happen if you're going back to sleep." Cade said, tugging at Jo's hand. "Come on. I cooked some."

"You did?" Jo smiled, her eyes dancing.

"Yup. I made omelette, bacon, and toasts for breakfast." Cade enumerated, trying to entice Jo to get out of bed.

"Those are the only things I can cook without charring them." Cade added, scratching his head, smiling shyly at her.

"Sounds good." Jo said smiling before letting Cade pull her off the bed.

* * *

Mac saw Jo got off the elevator and waved back when she did too as she passed by his office.

He had not had any sleep last night. The revelations kept him up all night. Everything was so clear to him after what he thought Claire was trying to tell him, but as he watched Jo waltz her way to her office, steps light and her face glowing, he felt like someone had turned the lights off in his world. She was happy with Cade.

He had never taken notice before. He thought she cared for him like how she cared for everybody else. He never could have thought that she loved him too. But seeing her now, remembering last night, the dinner with Christine, and the dinner with the team. It was clear that Jo loved Cade now.

_Guess she got tired of waiting. _

* * *

"So you mean our Vic was pushed to his death?" Jo asked, looking at the bruise on the back of the victim.

"Yes." Sid said, as he unclipped his spectacles.

"Okay, thanks Sid." Jo said smiling at him.

She was almost at the elevator when she heard Sid calling her.

"Do you have to rush back to the lab?" Sid asked when he caught up with her.

"No, not at all. What's the matter?" Jo asked, her eyes immediately assuming a concerned look.

"Oh, nothing about that. Uhhh, I just want to ask you something." Sid hesitated, scratching at his head.

"Sure, Sid. What is it?" Jo asked, patting his shoulder.

"Umm… well, it's none of my business really. But I… I just thought that since you told me something about it, I…" Sid stammered, mentioning to the chair beside Jo.

"Sid, it's okay. Just tell me." Jo said smiling at him, as they both sat down facing each other.

"Well, at the dinner last night, I was watching you and Cade dance… and… I saw love in your eyes. And… I'm happy for you. But… uhh…" Sid paused as he tried to think of how to formulate the question.

Jo creased her forehead at the discomfort on Sid's face.

"Sid…" Jo gently prodded.

"Umm… I don't mean to pry or anything, it's just that… Jo," Sid looked directly to her eyes before he spoke again.

"The guy you said you met a couple of years ago…" Sid said gingerly, gauging Jo's reaction.

Jo's heart was banging in her chest. She already had an inkling on what Sid was trying to ask her.

"Was it… umm… do… do I know him?" Sid asked instead, giving Jo the liberty to decide if she's going to tell him or not.

Jo stared at Sid, not sure of what to tell him. She knew that he already knew who the person in question was but it was up to her to confirm his thought.

Jo looked down at the clipboard on the table between them before smiling bitterly and slowly nodded at Sid.

Sid looked at her sadly as he took her hand on his.

"How did you find out?" Jo croaked at him due to unshed tears.

"I don't even know if I should tell you, Jo. Remembering your face and your tears that day you told me about it, I don't know if I would be doing the right thing if I tell you." Sid said softly, his heart and mind debating whether to tell her or not.

"Tell me, Sid. Please." Jo said, squeezing his hand.

Sid sighed heavily before starting to speak.

"At the dinner last night. When you were dancing with _him._ I saw the look in your eyes, Jo. I saw that pain, that longing, that need. But most especially Jo, I saw love. That's when I knew it was him. I looked at Cade, and saw him watching you. By the looks of it, I think he knew about him too?" Sid asked, looking questioningly at Jo.

"I told him." Jo nodded.

"I admire Cade for staying with you. Not everybody could do that." Sid said, patting her hand.

"Yes. He's amazing." Jo said, a little smile tugging at her lips.

What Sid did not tell Jo though was he saw the same look on Mac's eyes as well. And when Cade and Jo were dancing, Mac's eyes were fixed on them and Sid saw the many times Mac had swallowed hard, his eyes reflecting pain. When Cade put his cheek against the side of her head, and they both closed their eyes, Mac gulped down a glass-full of water before standing up to tell them that it was already late and he was going home. But Sid knew what made Mac leave the venue. The grand ballroom that could accommodate hundreds of people had just become too small for Mac, Cade, and Jo.

* * *

**As always, I'd like to thank you again for reading and for the reviews that kept me going. They really mean the world to me. To guest reviewer Adrian, I don't know how you knew about the scene with Sid, maybe I'm predictable or something ;) but I hope you liked it. **

**Again, thank you guys. I hope you liked this chapter. Reviews/comments are appreciated so don't forget to leave me some :D **


	31. Chapter 31

_**From Chapter 30**_

_What Sid did not tell Jo though was he saw the same look on Mac's eyes as well. And when Cade and Jo were dancing, Mac's eyes were fixed on them and Sid saw the many times Mac had swallowed hard, his eyes reflecting pain. When Cade put his cheek against the side of her head, and they both closed their eyes, Mac gulped down a glass-full of water before standing up to tell them that it was already late and he was going home. But Sid knew what made Mac leave the venue. The grand ballroom that could accommodate hundreds of people had just become too small for Mac, Cade, and Jo._

**Chapter 31**

Mac went home to an empty apartment. He had gone to the restaurant thinking that he would pick up Christine and they would go home together but the restaurant was already closed when he got there. He thought she closed down early and was already home but was surprised to find nobody in their apartment. He immediately checked her closet and was relieved to see that her things were still there. He called her mobile but she was not answering. Remembering the time she was kidnapped, he called the restaurant staff to confirm her whereabouts but the staff could only tell him that they closed down early, Christine not telling them why.

After a few more calls and voicemails, he finally received a text from her saying that she was busy with something and won't be home tonight. She was going to stay with a relative somewhere and told him not to wait up for her. Thinking that she might just need a break from what had happened last night, he did not ask anything more.

He had been up for the last 36 hours and his body was about to collapse, his mind was already hazy but he could not sleep. He kept on thinking about Jo and what he had realized. He got up from the bed and took out the pictures taken during the wedding. He searched through it and found the one he was looking for at the end of the album. It was their group picture with the team at the reception. He stared at all their smiling faces but remembered how he felt when the photo was taken. He already knew that Jo had left the restaurant but he still asked Lindsay about Jo, pretending that he did not see her leave. He had felt incomplete then. He was happy that his whole team was there but he felt like something big was missing. He loved how in their every picture with the team, they would always stand beside each other without anybody orchestrating them to. And maybe it was why he felt empty even just by looking at this particular picture. It was not complete without her.

Now that he knew how Jo felt towards him, although unconfirmed, he looked at things differently. He thought that maybe Jo did not really have to rush to Ellie that night. Maybe she left the reception because she was not comfortable seeing him and Christine any longer, like how he had felt uncomfortable watching her and Cade together at the dinner. Maybe she did not go to California with Cade without talking to him because she was mad at him for the suspension he had subjected her to. Maybe it was because she was hurt with how he'd treated her. When she would release herself too soon from his hugs, maybe it was because she was trying to create some space between them so that she won't get hurt anymore. Maybe his closeness would only remind her how far apart they were.

Mac frowned when he thought of how Jo had changed after the Johnson case. He had wondered then if Cade had anything to do with her reaction during the questioning and the changes in her after that. Now he doubted if maybe he was one of the reasons too.

Sid.

Suddenly, Mac felt the strong urge to call up Sid. He wanted to ask him again now if Jo's crying that day she talked to him had anything to do with him. But he knew he could not. It would be a big risk to let anybody know what was going on especially when he was very much married to Christine. He thought that maybe he should also just stop assuming that everything was about him.

Maybe Jo did not really love him. Maybe she never did.

* * *

"Smells good." Cade exclaimed as he padded into the kitchen.

"You're a charmer." Jo smiled as Cade wrapped his arms around her waist from behind before he nuzzled her neck.

"Smells wonderful." Cade mumbled into her ear.

"Are you talking about the food or… something else?" Jo drawled in her low voice, looking at him.

"Something else." Cade murmured to her ear before kissing her.

Ellie cleared her throat as she walked to the kitchen.

"Coming through." Ellie said as she weaved her way to the fridge.

Cade released his hold on Jo and went to stand beside her instead.

"Okay, go on with your business." Ellie said chuckling as she walked past them to go back to her room, causing Cade to chuckle as well.

"Ellie, dinner's ready. Can you please set the table?" Jo asked, ignoring the chuckles around her as she blushed a deep crimson.

* * *

They were already done with dinner but nobody had left the table yet. They were talking about random things when Jo realized Ellie had suddenly become silent.

"Ellie, are you okay?" Jo asked, training her eyes on her.

"Yup. I'm good." Ellie answered, smiling sadly at her mother.

"Tell me." Jo said when she saw bleakness in her eyes.

Ellie shook her head at Jo before smiling again but her smile did not reach her eyes once again.

Jo reached out and placed her hand over Ellie's.

"You can tell me anything, Ellie." Jo cajoled her.

Ellie gave her a small smile before looking at Cade then back again at Jo.

"I was just thinking… I mean… I just realized that this is like..." Ellie paused before continuing.

"We're like a family." Ellie said in a barely audible whisper.

"I've always wondered of how it would be like to have a… you know…" Ellie looked reluctantly at Cade before she looked down at her hand.

"A father." She whispered.

Jo was stunned for a few seconds before she got over herself. She could have never expected what Ellie had just said.

"Oh Ellie…" Jo uttered, sitting closer to her.

"I don't mean that you're not enough, mom." Ellie immediately added when she heard Jo's dismal voice.

"You're enough. Sometimes even too much." Ellie said in an attempt to lighten the mood when she saw the sad look on Jo's eyes.

"But… I've never had a father. And I'd always wondered how it would feel like to have one. And now, well… it's like having one." Ellie finished, not daring to look up at Cade and Jo.

"Ellie…" Jo uttered as she pulled her into a tight embrace.

"It's okay, mom. I'm just curious, that's all." Ellie said when Jo released her.

Cade cleared his throat, making Ellie and Jo look at him.

"And, may I ask how does it… feel…to… umm… how did I fair?" Cade asked, a little uncertain if his question was even appropriate.

Ellie smiled at him.

"It feels good. Different, but good. Plus you're fun." She grinned widely. "You're an okay father, I guess."

Cade beamed back at Ellie.

"Thanks Ellie."

* * *

"Thanks for earlier." Jo said when they were already in bed, about to sleep. She was curled up beside Cade, his arms snaked around her.

"What do you mean?" Cade asked, looking confused.

"You know, for not freaking out when Ellie said that thing about having a father." Jo said, resting her head on his chest.

"Why would I freak out?" Cade asked, not understanding what she was saying.

"Well, some might. I mean, her talking about family, father..."

"Ellie's a great kid, Jo. You've done great. I won't freak out." Cade said, gazing at Jo, his hand lazily running over her arm.

After a short while, Cade heaved out a sigh.

"I've always wanted to have a family of my own. Little kids running around, squealing and giggling. Then you try to fend off boys from your little girl, but eventually all that you could do is to screen them for her until she won't even introduce you to anybody anymore. Or you run around with your boy, scratching and bumping into things, then one day you wake up and he won't even let you kiss him anymore then you'd start worrying when he brings home a girl and you'll realize that your relationship had just changed forever." Cade said quietly, looking somewhere far away.

Jo felt her heart melt upon realizing how much Cade wanted to be part of a family. And maybe that was why he stuck with her, because he felt like he was finally part of a family.

"I wish…" Cade hesitated, unsure of how Jo would react.

"I wish we could be… a family… someday." He finally whispered against her head, part of him hoped she heard what he said; another part of him hoped she did not.

Jo looked up at him, her hand reaching up to touch his face.

"Maybe…" She said with a tiny smile. She had heard him alright.

"I've been meaning to ask you this but I just don't know if I should at all." Cade said nervously.

Jo tilted her head so she could look into his eyes.

"I don't know if this is too soon… but… by any chance… ummm… what do you think of San Francisco?" Cade hesitated. "Moving there, I mean." He swallowed hard as he tried to even his breathing.

Jo looked at him, suddenly unsure if it was a hypothetical question that he had just asked. But she could see how serious his expression was, telling her that his question was nothing close to being hypothetical.

Cade saw that she was scrutinizing him, and guessed that she might be trying to find out what could be his intention when he asked the question.

"My work here's almost done and well…" Cade thought frantically of how best to say what he wanted to tell her.

"I just thought that…" Cade trailed off as his mind worked triple time, thinking of the right words to say.

"Not that I'm rushing you or… I mean… You might think that it's too soon…" Cade knew that he was mumbling nonsense to Jo but he was so clueless and nervous at the same time.

"But I…" Cade sighed heavily.

"I really want to be with you, Jo." Cade finally finished, looking down at her.

She stared at him as she tried to make up her mind on what to tell him. She could feel his heart beating a mile a minute beneath her hand and based on how he had barely able to say what he had just said; she knew that he was somehow afraid that he might scare her away. He was asking her to move to San Francisco with him and a part of her wanted to say yes. They knew what they were about to go into and she could sense that his question was not a spontaneous act. But it was not easy. Moving to a new place could not be that easy. She remembered how Ellie had a hard time fitting in to her new school when they moved to New York and she did not want to subject her to it once again. On the other hand, Tyler was almost done with college; he'll be graduating in just a few months. But what was she going to do in San Francisco?

Cade watched her as she contemplated on his offer. He knew it would not be easy for her but he really wanted to be with her. He saw how Mac looked at her and he did not know if he could bear to go back home knowing that she would be staying here with Mac. He did not want to lose her.

"You don't have to answer me now, Jo. It's not an easy thing to decide upon. You can tell me anytime, whenever you're ready." Cade finally told her when he saw how hard she was thinking about it.

Jo nodded at him absent-mindedly.

"What could I possibly do, by the way, if ever we move there?" Jo asked, causing Cade to think that there's hope for him to be with her after all.

"We have a crime lab there, too. Or, you can be a private investigator. I have a friend who needed some more people to join his firm." Cade said, trying hard not to smile too wide, but Jo could see his eyes dancing.

"I see. Okay, I'll think about it." Jo said smiling at him.

"Really? Okay! Sure." Cade said happily, his eyes wide in surprise.

Jo laughed at his jovial expression.

"Don't be so happy yet. I still have to think about so many things before I can reach a decision." Jo said, reaching up to pat his cheek.

"I know. I'm just glad that you're at least considering it." Cade beamed at her.

"I'm just worried about Ellie because I saw how difficult it had been for her when we moved to New York. She might have to go through the same adjustment again if we move to San Francisco." Jo said, creasing her forehead.

"I understand, Jo. No need to rush." Cade said, even though he was dying to take them back with him to San Francisco.

* * *

Mac had only slept for a couple of hours and was greeted with a hazardous looking pile of files on his desk when he arrived at the lab this morning. He heaved a sigh as he sat down on his chair to start working. He used to be fine with having almost no sleep at all but today he felt dead tired and doubted if he could even concentrate on anything else.

He had been glancing at the hall, waiting for Jo to pass by. He had nothing to say to her but he wanted to see her. After the dinner, he felt like something had opened up inside him. The nagging thought he had felt before had gone, but the void inside him was still there. The only difference was he now knew what could fill that void but his hands were tied behind his back. He could not do anything about it. And he wondered if being able to feel the void but unsure of what to fill it with was better than knowing what could fill it but could not do anything about it.

He had just glanced up again from the file he had been working on when the front desk officer knocked on his door. He mentioned for him to come in and he was handed a brown envelope. When he was left alone again, he opened the envelope, wondering what was inside it.

Mac frowned when he saw the letterhead, and the crease got deeper and deeper as he perused the whole page. He could not believe what he was reading. For a while he looked through the documents looking for the stamp that says 'SAMPLE', but found none. He read the names written on the first page over and over, as if they would change if he kept on looking at them. When it had finally dawned on him that he was looking at a draft of official papers, he clutched at his head with his hand, gripping the documents tighter with the other. He had already been told of this scenario but he had never expected it to be executed this fast.

Mac pulled out his phone and dialed the number, holding his breath as he waited for his call to be answered. After a few rings, it was finally answered.

"Mac, I suppose you already got it?" She said as a way of greeting him.

"Yes, I got it and I… I thought we were supposed to talk…" Mac did not get to finish what he was saying when she cut him off.

"No, Mac. I did not agree on another talk. It was only you who wanted to. I was advised that No-fault divorce was easier and a faster process. This way we don't have to hurl ugly things to each other. The law required that the relationship should be irrevocably broken down for at least six months though so we will hold the filing until then." Christine said indifferently.

"Christine, please listen to me. We can still fix this." Mac had wanted to say more to convince her that their marriage was not a failure and he tried his best, maybe even more than his best, but he came up with nothing. He could not even convince himself that he could still fix their marriage.

"No, we can't, Mac." Christine said sadly.

"Look, let's meet. Hear me out first. I'm leaving the lab now, I'll go to the restaurant." Mac said, standing up, cradling his phone in his shoulder as he put the documents back to its envelope.

"Don't bother, Mac. I'm not there. I'm not even in New York anymore." Christine sighed.

"But Christine…" Mac tried.

"Mac, see, this is just like before. It's your pride again." Christine's annoyed voice said.

"What?" Mac uttered in shock.

"You don't want us to get divorced because of your pride. I know you might be thinking of how people would think of you when they learned about the divorce. I know how it would make you look like. But I'm sorry, okay? This is the only way to go." Christine said harshly.

"It's not pride, Christine." Mac said, confused if he should be mad or hurt by what she said.

"It is, Mac. Just listen to us now, Mac. If this is not irreconcilable difference, then I don't know what is." Christine sighed heavily before continuing.

"I've already admitted that it was my fault too. And my brother and you had shared a strong friendship. Life is short, Mac. We make mistakes and then we move on. I want to move on with my life without carrying unnecessary burden, so I'm going to tell you this. We can end this marriage amicably and…" Christine inhaled deeply.

"Stop fooling yourself and don't try to fool me either. And Mac, stop fooling her too."

Mac frowned at what he was hearing.

"You'd already lost the love of your life once and look at what it did to you. Don't let that happen again. Because it's not yet too late for you and… this one, Mac, this one you can still save." Christine said calmly.

For a few moments, Mac stood beside his table unable to move. He was trying to wrap his mind around Christine's words but it was difficult if he was rejecting it at the same time.

"Christine, please let's just talk about this. It has been a very short marriage and …"

"But it was long enough for us to know that we should just end it." Christine intercepted yet again.

"Can you please let me finish?" Mac's own annoyed voice boomed.

"No, Mac, you are not listening to me. I don't want us to talk. There's no use in talking again. Please don't force me to file an at-fault divorce. Because if you won't agree with this, you'd leave me with no other choice." Christine's voice was threatening. She knew Mac would do everything just to save his name from being tarnished. Dignity and integrity were his weaknesses and she knew it. She did not know though that he willingly risked them, his weakness that she was using against him now, just to save her when she was kidnapped.

When Christine ended the call, Mac slumped back to his chair. He ran his hand over his face before taking the documents out of the envelope again, as if to make sure that he was not dreaming any of this. But the slightly coarse texture of the papers in his hands proved to him that he had not fallen into a deep slumber and being haunted by a nightmare. He could not understand how easy it was for her to walk away. But he also remembered how she told him to move on, much like when she had told him to move on from Claire's tragedy.

After more than a decade of being alone, just when he had just started believing that he could have someone to share the rest of his life with, he found himself reeling back into the bleak world of solitude.

* * *

It had been a dull day at work and Jo could not be happier when the clock finally struck 7PM. She was on her way to the elevators when she saw Mac's office's blinds were all down. It was odd because he seldom did that and given the slow day they had just had, she could not think of any reason why he felt the need to be isolated. She rapped at his door and waited. It was common knowledge at the lab that if his blinds were down, and his normally-open doors were closed, you should wait for him to tell you to go in before you went into his lair. Otherwise, you should prepare yourself for a beating from the boss.

When Jo heard his unwelcoming tone telling her to come in, she pulled on the door handle and let herself in.

The first thing that he heard was the jangling of her bracelets, followed by her boots' heels. His head shot up when he realized who had just dared to disrupt his refuge.

"Mac, is everything alright?" Jo asked him, her gaze piercing at his eyes.

Mac's tensed shoulders automatically lowered themselves, the crease on his forehead instinctively smoothed itself. It was that voice, the same soothing, calming tone.

"Everything's fine, Jo." He lied to her. He was not ready for her inquisition and did not even know if he should tell her about the divorce. Somehow, he felt degraded by it.

Jo tilted her head and looked deeply into his eyes, which he immediately tore off from her to look down on the folder in front of him before putting his poker face on. Jo noticed his avoidance and knew that something was wrong and he was trying to hide it from her.

"Are you sure?" She asked soothingly, trying to make him talk.

"Absolutely." Mac said without looking up. He knew how good he was in putting on a straight face but recent events proved that he could easily be carried away by her, causing him to be defenseless.

Mac heard her approach him. He saw her hand touch the back of one of the chairs in front of his desk, and his heart thumped in his chest when he realized she was going to sit down and try to fish out information from him. He could only hope that he would be focused enough to resist.

Suddenly, a piercing sound filled the silent room.

Jo peeked at the screen of her phone before taking it out from her bag.

Mac fixed his gaze at the paper he was trying to read but he listened to what Jo was saying on the phone. He had thought that it was Cade who was calling her but was proven wrong when he heard her exclaim Tyler's name. He could just be thankful when he heard her tell Tyler that she'd be home right away.

"Is everything okay, Jo?" It was his turn to ask her.

"Yup. Tyler just finally decided to visit his ol' poor momma." Jo grinned at him, her voice full of excitement.

Mac beamed back at her, her excitement already starting to grow on him. He could only be amazed how in just a few seconds, she could make him smile in this drab day.

"Are you going to be fine?" Jo asked him, letting him know that he had not fooled her into thinking that there was nothing wrong.

"I'll manage, Jo. Go home to your kids." Mac smiled at her, letting her know also that there was something wrong but nothing that he could not handle.

Jo nodded at him before walking out of his office.

It was funny how in just mere minutes, she could impart calmness to him which lingered even after she was gone. But it also scared him that she had that power over him, something that nobody else had.

* * *

"Tyler, finally missed me?" Jo called from the doorway right after she closed the door to their apartment.

Tyler bounded from somewhere and gave Jo a quick hug and a kiss.

"No, I was just told that a man would be seen sneaking in during the middle of the night and leave early in the morning." Tyler grinned mischievously at Jo.

"Really? I wonder who that man is." Jo gasped at him before they both laughed.

"I miss you, mom. Nobody's bugging me to clean my closet and to fix my bed." Tyler said smiling at her.

"Bug you, huh?" Jo said, mockingly raising her eyebrows at him before they both collapsed in a fit of laughter again.

"Somebody sounds so happ.." Cade had just taken a step inside the apartment, Ellie in tow, when he suddenly stopped when he saw Tyler.

"Uh, hi." Cade said softly, suddenly self-conscious. He knew Tyler only through Jo and Ellie but he hadn't met him yet. He had grown comfortable with Ellie since their vacation but he did not know what to expect with Tyler.

"Hi, Agent Conover." Tyler said in a serious tone, extending his hand at him.

Cade shook his hand but stayed rooted to the spot, near the door.

"Are we having a picture-taking in the hall?" Ellie quipped when nobody moved an inch.

"Okay, come on everybody, sit down, feel at home while I go prepare some food." Jo said just as Tyler and Ellie walked towards the couch.

"Uh, Jo." Cade called out softly, still lingering by the door.

"I think I'll let you have a little family time. I'll just return later." Cade said in a low voice.

"What? Why? You can join us." Jo said with a smile.

"Agent Cade" Tyler called from behind Jo. "Would you mind to stay and have dinner with us?"

Cade looked from Tyler to Jo and to Tyler again.

"Uh, ye-ah… okay. Uh, thanks." Cade said a little tensely.

Tyler smiled at him before returning to the couch.

Jo grinned widely at Cade before she placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"It's kinda cute when you're nervous like this." She whispered in his ear, making him blush a little as his dimple started to show.

Jo laughed softly before they walked further to the apartment.

* * *

Ellie chattered about school and her friends and Tyler laughed and teased her alternately during dinner. Cade would smile and chuckle from time to time but Jo could see the strained expression on his face. She found it odd also that Tyler would suddenly show up in the apartment on a school night without calling her beforehand which he always did but she found it as odd too when Ellie did not seem surprised by her brother's visit. She wondered what her two kids were up to but knew that it won't be too long before she'd knew what was going on. And if her perceptiveness was just as accurate as it had ever been, she thought that whatever the two had planned, it definitely involved Cade.

It had not taken too long before Tyler asked about Cade and soon enough Cade was telling stories upon stories about work and his childhood, some of them Jo had not even heard of before. She watched as he slowly eased up, becoming more comfortable as the conversations went on. Jo watched them interact with each other and at one point, she saw Tyler trying to catch her eyes. When she looked at him, he smiled approvingly at her, subtly nodding his head to Cade's direction before he playfully wiggled his eyebrows, making her laugh. She did not notice though that Cade had just dropped the punchline to the story he was telling and he thought it was the reason she was laughing. Instinctively, he placed his hand over hers and held it, causing her to look at him, as they both laughed looking into each other's eyes.

Tyler stayed only for a couple of hours before he had to go back to the University. As he was about to leave, he asked Jo to walk him to the elevators which she happily agreed, albeit curious.

"Wanna tell me what's goin' on?" Jo asked the minute they were out of the apartment.

Tyler looked innocently at her, though she noticed the twinkle in his eyes.

"Goin' on? Nothing's going on. I just want some home-cooked dinner." Tyler replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah? Okay, I'll bring you dinner every day starting tomorrow." Jo said smiling over-sweetly at him.

"What? Oh no, mom. I'm just kidding, okay. I just want to meet that boyfriend of yours. See if he's good enough for the greatest mom in the world." Tyler smiled at her as he pressed the elevator button.

"And? What's the verdict of the greatest son in the world?"

"I like him, mom. He makes you happy and that's enough for me." Tyler said sincerely.

Jo let out a soft gasp.

"That's so sweet, Tyler. Thank you." She said as she felt tears pricking her eyes.

"There's one more thing, actually." Tyler said hesitantly.

"What is it?" Jo asked just as the elevator doors open but Tyler let it go back down, wanting to tell his mother what had brought him here.

"Ellie told me about Mac. And well, everything actually. And I guess… I just want to tell you that…" Tyler shifted from foot to foot, something Jo knew he does whenever he's nervous.

"I just want to tell you that if you want to go with Agent Cade… to San Francisco… to live there, I mean. I just want to let you know that it's okay with me. I came here tonight because Ellie said he might have to go back soon and I thought I'd meet him first before he leaves, that way if you want to go with him then you'd know that everything's fine with me. You don't have to worry about me too since I'll be out of college in a few months and I'll go visit you there as often as I could." Tyler said, knowing that his mother would think of them first before she decided on something for herself.

"Oh my, Tyler. You've grown into one fine man, I'm so proud of you." Jo said, reaching up for a hug. Two streams of tears had already marked their paths on her cheeks but she continued holding Tyler, not bothering to wipe her tears off. "Thank you, baby. I love you so much."

"I love you, mom." Tyler said hugging her tight.

* * *

Jo heard Ellie's giggling followed by Cade's laughter. She followed the sound and found them at the kitchen just as Cade closed the door of the fridge and Ellie turned off the water tap.

"What's so funny, you two?" Jo said from behind them.

"Mom, do you know that Cade's fridge at home only contained milk, eggs, bacon, cheese, and peanut butter?" Ellie said happily.

"Cade?" Jo asked, noticing how Ellie only said his first name, which she'd never done before in front of him.

"Yeah, well it's shorter than 'Agent Cade'." Ellie said as she walked past her.

"And where are you going?" Jo asked, trailing behind her.

"My room, I'm kinda tired." Ellie said, before turning to kiss Jo. "Good night, mom. 'Night Cade."

"Hold up. I wanna talk to you." Jo said just as Ellie was about to open her bedroom door.

"Oh-kay…" She smiled at her before she went inside her room, leaving her door slightly ajar.

"What's going on?" Cade asked when Ellie disappeared to her room.

"I'm not even sure what's going on. I'll tell you later after I interrogate the culprit." Jo said, looking at the direction of Ellie's room.

Jo walked back to the kitchen and stopped when she could not find the plates and cutlery they'd just used.

"Dishwasher." Cade said knowing what she was looking for.

"Oh, thanks." Jo said, turning to face him.

"Ellie did it. I just put the leftovers to the fridge." Cade said, locking her into an embrace.

"You were amazing tonight. You made Tyler laugh the whole time. He was just… relaxed around you." Jo said, reaching up to run the back of her fingers over his cheek.

"You think so?" Cade asked, his eyes reflecting uncertainty.

"I know so." Jo said, as she pulled him into a kiss.

Cade groaned when she deepened the kiss before finally pulling away.

"I'll go talk to Ellie now before she could pretend that she's already asleep." Jo said, gently tugging herself loose from his arms.

* * *

"You're in trouble, young lady." Jo feigned a stern look on her face as she walked further into Ellie's room.

"Me? Why? What did I do?" Ellie asked, putting on a scared expression.

"You went behind my back. Tyler told." Jo said as she walked towards her bed where she was sitting.

Ellie broke out into a grin.

"So what's big brother's verdict?" Ellie almost whispered conspiratorially.

"I'm not going to tell you anything unless you tell me what you did." Jo said, teasing her.

"Ugh, fine. I just told him about the… you know… father thing? And he asked me how it went and I told him that it felt good. And then I asked him if it was okay if ever you decide to go with Cade. Because… umm… I overheard you last night. I was about to ask for your permission if I can go to the movies with Todd tonight and I was about to knock on your door when I heard you say that you're worried about me when we first moved here and I might go through the same if we move to San Francisco. So I thought that maybe Cade had asked you to go back with him. And I know you won't be telling us about that anytime soon. You'd have to go through all these multi-layered process before you'd even consider telling us. So I saved you from doing too much thinking and went ahead and asked Tyler. You know very well that I have no problem in moving there as I'd told you before. Now I want to know what Tyler told you." Ellie admitted animatedly, telling her the whole story.

"Ellie, what am I going to do with you? You're just a little bundle of energy and sweetness and… love." Jo pulled her daughter into a tight hug before placing a kiss on the crown of her head.

"Do you really want to move there?" Jo finally asked, looking into her dark brown eyes.

"The question is, do you? Because I'm fine anywhere as long as I can see that you're happy." Ellie said, looking back at her mother.

"Sweet child." Jo said against her black curls as she kissed her head again.

"Mom, what did Tyler say?" Ellie asked impatiently.

"Same as what you'd just said." Jo said running her hand through Ellie's curls. "'As long as I'm happy.'"

"That's good then. Shall I pack now?" Ellie asked, ecstatically.

Jo laughed at the evident elation on her face.

"What have I ever done to deserve such loving children?" Jo exclaimed as she wrapped her arms tightly around Ellie.

"Whoa! Mom! Can't breathe." Ellie cried out.

"Sorry. I'm just… I love you so much, baby." Jo said through her tears.

"Aww.. mom, don't cry." Ellie said as she wiped at her tears. "I love you very much too."

Ellie kissed Jo's cheek before looking in her eyes.

"So are we going to move there?" Ellie asked seriously.

"I've not yet decided, baby. I still have to think this through." Jo said sniffling.

Ellie slowly nodded her head and Jo could see that something's on her mind.

"Mom, is it… is it Mac?" Ellie asked, almost afraid to hear her own question.

Jo looked at Ellie, her eyes reflecting more misery than she'd want them to show.

"It's not, Ellie." Jo stated simply, slowly shaking her head.

Jo could swear that she had never even thought of Mac as one of the factors that she should consider. But hearing his name from Ellie, and remembering the look on his face before she left the lab, suddenly she was not sure if she should leave him at all. She doubted too if she should have stayed at the lab a little longer and tried to make him talk before she went home tonight. But then she remembered why she had left him alone in his office even though it was obvious that he was harboring something.

Mac had Christine.

And she had Cade.

* * *

**Sorry if this chapter was too long. I can't seem to find the perfect spot where I could cut it. As what I always say, thank you so much for all the love & support. Please don't forget to write something on that small box below :D**

**A very special thanks to Quille and Kelsey :) I owe you both, big time.**


	32. Chapter 32

_**From Chapter 31**_

_Jo could swear that she had never even thought of Mac as one of the factors that she should consider. But hearing his name from Ellie, and remembering the look on his face before she left the lab, suddenly she was not sure if she should leave him at all. She doubted too if she should have stayed at the lab a little longer and tried to make him talk before she went home tonight. But then she remembered why she had left him alone in his office even though it was obvious that he was harboring something._

_Mac had Christine._

_And she had Cade._

**Chapter 32**

It had been two weeks since the night Tyler visited. It had been two weeks of thinking, debating, factoring in, and talking. Jo had spent her every waking moment that were not spent on case solving, in trying to come up with a conclusion. Thankfully, after two mind-boggling weeks, she had finally arrived with a decision.

She turned over on her bed, and stared at the empty space beside her. It looked cold to her, and when she reached out to touch it, it felt much colder against her skin. She took the pillow beside her and held it. She could still smell his faint scent on it, making her miss him more. In what little time he had spent with her, she had gotten used to sleeping and waking up beside him, his warm body acting as another layer of blanket, keeping her from getting cold.

Cade had already left for San Francisco almost two weeks ago. The send off at the airport was excruciating for both of them again, each one not wanting to let go of the other, clinging to each other until the very last second. It was like being haunted yet again by a memory that kept on reliving itself. This was more painful than the first time in California; more unbearable. At one point, Jo had almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all when she thought they must have resembled a couple where the wife was sending her military husband off to the war, when where Cade was going could hardly be considered a war torn place. But then she thought of how her heart ached, tormenting her, consuming her alive, and suddenly it was not ridiculous anymore. Maybe they were both going to a war. A war that could join or separate them permanently. A war that could take away everything that they had shared, from them. A battle where they could both lose.

When the time came for them to say their final goodbyes, Cade had held her too tightly against him, as if he was about to drown and she was his lifebuoy. Things could change just as fast as they had happened and he knew it. One single word could be uttered and his dream could end. One bound could be stepped over and his life could change. He knew it, and so he held on to her and held on tight.

Jo finally pushed herself off the bed and waddled into the bathroom to start her day. A certain liveliness on her had been missing since Cade went back home and everybody had took notice, even herself. But today she felt dreadful and about to lose her mind. She had wanted to call in sick but she knew she could not do that unless she wanted attention, which she would give everything, not to have right now. She wanted things to be as normal as it could get and she did not want people fussing over her but she knew that they would fuss over her. She heaved a final sigh, before bracing herself to face the day.

* * *

Mac had been burying himself with tremendous amounts of work. It had been more than two weeks since he had been living alone in his apartment, the silence both sickening and calming at the same time. He had not talked to Christine again since the day he got the draft of their divorce papers. He had not told anybody about the impending divorce Christine planned to file next month. He did not have the courage to let even a single soul know that he was a big failure in that aspect of his life. And most of all he did not want to be pitied upon now that he was to be dumped a few days before Christmas.

Even when swamped with work, it did not escape his attention the change in Jo's demeanor. He knew Cade had already gone back to San Francisco. Jo had asked to be allowed to leave the lab a couple of hours before her shift ended to send Cade to the airport. He had seen the desolate look in her eyes since Cade left. He had also noticed the distant look she would always wear while looking out of the window. And although she still performed her job as stellar as she always did, he could not help but worry about her, especially since she won't say anything to anybody. Everybody had just assumed that it was because Cade had gone home, but he could tell that there was something more. There was something more behind those empty gazes that took her soul to somewhere far away and bought it back again a while later. He could not bear looking at her like that; soulless and empty.

* * *

It was a couple minutes before her shift officially ended and she decided to turn her computer off and prepare her things before she does what she had to do. She looped her arm through her bag's handle, feeling the heaviness of the paper that had been burning a hole inside it. With a pounding heart, she walked the short distance from her office to the direction of the bank of elevators with heavy steps.

She stopped by the door, and inhaled deep and long until her chest began to hurt a little. For the past weeks, his office's blinds were always down, his doors always closed. He was not saying anything to her and it seemed like nobody knew what was happening to him either. She could have waited for things to ease up a little before she'd do what she was about to do but time constraint did not leave her with any other choice. She had to do this right now for Ellie.

Jo rapped on his door and waited for him to allow her entry to his sanctuary. It had only been a second, but to Jo it was as if she'd waited for a day before she heard his voice giving her permission to enter his office. Jo inhaled deeply again before she pulled open the glass door.

Mac looked up when he heard his office door open. He saw uncertainty and anxiety deeply etched onto her face and wondered if she was in his office to release some of her pent up feelings.

"Mac, do you have a moment?" Jo asked as she walked up to his desk.

"Sure. Unable to hold it in anymore?" Mac asked, a little smile on his face. It had been a difficult two weeks for him but he just could not stop himself from loosening up a little in front of her.

"I'm sorry?" Jo's confused look told him that her thoughts were preoccupied with something else that she was not even able to comprehend what he had just said.

"You've been looking like that for a few days now; I thought you're here to finally confess on what you've done." Mac said uncertainly when his attempt to lighten the mood was met with indifference from Jo.

Jo realized that Mac was trying to lift up her spirits but she could not even bring herself to retort with something witty. She was too engrossed of thinking how Mac would react when she finally told him why she was bothering his silent haven that her playful side had totally shut down.

"Look who's talking. You've been cocooning in here for the last couple of weeks, isolating yourself from the rest of the world, refusing to tell anybody about what it is that's bothering you. Are you now ready to tell me what you've done?" Jo responded. She had intended it to be a question asked out of concern, but it came out defensive and accusing.

Mac looked down at the papers that he had been reading in front of him.

"Fair enough. So what brings you here, Jo?" Mac's voice had slipped into something resembling dejection, making Jo feel guiltier.

"I… I just want to give this to you personally, Mac." Jo said, fumbling with her bag, her hands shaking a little.

When she finally found the envelope, she handed it to Mac without looking up at him, keeping her eyes trained on the envelope.

Mac stared at the envelope before he finally reached out to take it from her trembling hand. He gingerly opened the envelope as if scared that it might be one of those Anthrax laden letters that could poison him to his death.

He could not be any more correct.

Mac glared at the single page of paper in his hand, his eyes getting darker as they skimmed through it. When his eyes reached the bottom, he quickly scanned the upper part again and read the short sentence citing the intent of the letter and when it would take effect. By the time he put down the letter on his desk, his forehead was crunched up and his jaw was clenched too tightly, Jo was scared he might crush his teeth.

"What is this, Jo? What do you think you're doing?" Mac said quietly, his tone almost grave.

When Mac looked up to meet Jo's eyes, she could see a multitude of emotions in them. She could detect confusion, annoyance, and frustration. Jo had been standing in front of Mac's desk since she came into his office and though she had wanted to sit down earlier, she was almost relieved that she did not. Mac's glare was intimidating.

"Mac, I'm sorry. I know you probably have a lot on your plate right now and I don't even know what you're going through…" Jo said in a small voice, feeling the overpowering guilt chewing at her gut as she spoke.

"We're not talking about me, Jo." Mac's harsh tone had taken Jo aback.

Jo swallowed and tried again.

"I've decided to move to San Francisco, Mac. And I'd have waited for better timing than this but I hope you'd understand that I had to do this now so that Ellie could start school in time for the next semester." Jo said meekly, noticing the irritation on his face.

"You're moving to San Francisco with Ellie." Mac stated a-matter-of-factly.

"Yes." Jo answered, wondering what might be going through Mac's mind.

"At the middle of the school year?" Mac asked.

"Oh it's okay, Mac. We already asked both schools. They both said there won't be a problem." Jo said, smiling a little, ignoring the accusing tone of his voice.

"And what are you going to do there?" Mac asked, sounding dubious.

"Umm… Cade said…"

Mac's eyes turned dark and cold when he heard Cade's name.

"…my desk's already waiting for me in a private investigation firm. The firm is his friend's." Jo said in a guarded enthusiasm, observing Mac's body language.

Mac did not say anything for a while and just stared at Jo's resignation letter, now lying lifelessly on his desk.

"So you're moving to San Francisco with Cade, and you'll bring Ellie with you, and she'll be trying to fit in to another new school, make new friends again…" Mac said, his palm up, shrugging his shoulders at her. "And you'll work in a firm owned by Cade's friend." Mac's tone of voice was nothing close to friendly and kind.

"What are you trying to say, Mac?" Jo asked suspiciously.

"I just want to make sure that you knew what you're doing." Mac said looking intently at her.

"Why don't you just say what you think I'm not doing right?" Jo answered back, her own irritation starting to show.

"I'm not saying that you're doing it wrong."

"Yeah? Because seems to me you're saying exactly that." Jo said sarcastically, her forehead starting to match the crease on his.

"I was just reminded of how almost three years ago Ellie came running through the lab, angrily looking for her mother to tell her that they should leave New York because it's not going to work. And now she was about to be subjected to the same scenario." Mac said acridly.

"Okay, Mac, I appreciate that you care for Ellie and I really do hope that you said all those things because you care for her and not because you're telling me how lousy a mother I am. But Ellie's grown up now. She was not a fourteen year old girl, trying to fit in in the world, barely knew who she was and who she wanted to be, anymore. And so that you'd know, I didn't just wake up this morning and decided that 'yeah, I want to move to San Francisco and I'm doing it now.' I've talked to my children, Mac. I've talked to Tyler and most especially to Ellie. This isn't a rash decision." Jo said sharply. "I never expected you to think of me this way. And please do not doubt my parenting ability because between the two of us, I think I'm the one who could really say what's good for Ellie and what would harm her." Jo said, a tear insisting to drop down her cheek.

"And you thought that it would be good for her to move there and for both of you to live with Cade, like one big happy family? Just like that? That just because he had stayed with you for the last few weeks he was here, it was okay to move in together and shove her into this instant family?" Mac questioned, standing up.

"Yes! I know it would be good for her!" Jo said, her voice raised, her hot tears blazing their trails on her cheeks.

"How did you know? Because you're her mother?" Mac smirked angrily at her, ignoring the big, fat tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"Because she said so!" Jo shot back, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand.

"You were not there when she said how she had wondered how it would have been like to have a father." Jo said sadly, slowly, as she recalled the night Ellie had ever expressed anything about having a father.

"You did not see how intense her eyes had burned with longing. You did not see how much she had yearned for a family. A family with both a mother and a father, not just a mother who was trying to be both and end up being only half of one parent. You're right, Mac. I could be quite a lousy mother and I know that I'm not perfect." Jo said, as a small sob escaped her.

"Jo, no, sorry. I didn't mean that. I was just…" Mac apologized, knowing that he had struck a chord but Jo cut him off.

"I had always thought that I'm enough for her. But I realized that a part of her still wanted a father to complete our family. And she was just too good a child to say anything to me." Jo sniffled as tears kept on streaming down from her eyes.

"Cade had been good to Ellie and Ellie just… adores him." Jo said, looking at Mac.

"But Jo, you're going to work in a firm owned by Cade's friend. I was just thinking what if your relationship didn't work out? It would be awkward to stay working at that firm and knowing you, you would probably leave. And then what? You're going to move again? You're coming back here? The position you'll be vacating won't be left vacant to wait for you to reclaim it. How are you going to support yourself? And Ellie? She's just in what, junior high? You still have a long way to go, Jo. You can't just leave everything because you wanted to. You have so many responsibilities on your shoulders. Have you even thought about that?" Mac said getting irritated again as he continued explaining.

"Fifty states in this country, Mac. What are the chances that I'd be back here? So don't worry because I'm not expecting you to keep my position open when I leave the lab. And I think I've done well enough in the past sixteen years without Russ. Now you're questioning my ability to support myself and my kids?"

"It's not what I meant. I…" Mac was at the end of his rope. He thought frantically on what to tell Jo that would not offend her.

"I was just telling you what kind of opportunity you're passing up. You're an excellent CSI and it would be a shame to put your skills into waste, helping those people like insurance companies, banks, wives that were being cheated upon and whatnots, when you can put your skills into good use by serving for the greater good." Mac was feeling desperate as their conversation kept on turning for the worse.

"Waste? Oh sorry, Mac. But the last time I checked, it was never a waste to help anybody be it for a multinational company chasing after fraudulent transactions or a wife fighting for child custody. It never occurred to me that you consider private investigation a lower form of what we do. And I'm sorry if I don't share your passion to save the whole of New York City from crime. I'm not cut out to be a hero like you." Jo said angrily. She knew deep in her heart that she wanted to be part of the system that could put away people who did not deserve to roam the streets, freely and arrogantly, posing threats to other people. She knew she would be happier if she could put criminals behind bars and hand in the justice to the victims. And though she believed in the argument she had just presented to Mac, knowing that you're working for the government still felt different. It felt almost absolute. But she did not mean to insult him either. The words just flew out of her mouth.

Mac winced at the last part. He had never dreamed of being a hero. He was far from being a hero. All he wanted was to do his part and help with whatever he could offer.

All that he wanted to do was to ask her to stay.

"Jo…" Mac hesitated when he suddenly felt lost for words.

"Just… just sign my papers, Mac, and let me go." Jo said quietly as she put her clearance papers on his table before she turned and walked out of his office.

* * *

Mac stared at Jo's resignation letter even after she was long gone. He continued staring at it alternately with the clearance papers even as the night shift lab techs had dimmed the lights, an indication that it was already way past his shift. He stared and stared until he could not keep it down anymore. He suddenly grabbed the pen holder beside his computer and threw it across his office with all the force of his body. When the pens scattered all over his office floor, he was breathless. He sat on his chair trying to catch his breath, gripping the edge of his table tightly.

He had only wanted to ask her to stay. He should just have said outright that he did not want her to leave. But he got scared. He tried to think of another way to ask her not to leave but it did not worked the way he wanted it to. It just pushed her further away from him. Before, he used to think that maybe staying just a friend to Jo could give him the opportunity to keep her with him for the rest of their lives. He had thought that maybe if they would just be friends he would never lose her. He could have never imagined that he would lose her this way. He could have never imagined that they would part ways in a way as awful as this.

He glanced at the papers on his table. He now had two sets of documents to sign. Two documents wherein once he affixed his signature, would severe the ties he had with the two persons asking him to freed them. By Christmas, they would both be gone from his life.

_Merry Christmas, Mac._ He thought grimly.

* * *

Jo had just told Cade what she had done. Even from almost five hundred fifty kilometers away from her, she could hear the glee in his voice, as clear as if he was right beside her. Before he left New York, she had told him what Tyler and Ellie told her. He was elated that he got the blessings of the two most important people in Jo's life but his merriment was halted when Jo told him that she had not decided yet. Nevertheless, the goofy smile that had spread on his face when she told him about her children's approval had never left his face that night. Jo could also detect relief in his voice, and in his manner of speaking. She knew that he was worried that she would decide against moving with him and it was also what urged him to tell her before he boarded his plane that should she finally decide to leave New York, his friend had already expressed his desire to hire her. It was his last attempt to assure her that a future was waiting for her there. A future with him was waiting for her.

By the time they ended the call, it was set that Jo would book the flight on the day Cade would go back to San Francisco himself. He was in Vermont for a case and he was scheduled to go back on the first week of December, which was three days from now. His flight would stop for a layover at JFK and from there, the three of them would fly together to San Francisco.

Jo tried to come up with a plan for a simple Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow but her mind kept on wandering back to the lab, at how her conversation with Mac went. It had started out fine, although she was quite nervous of the outcome, she was at least pacified by the fact that Mac had attempted to crack a joke. But when he had read her resignation letter, everything had changed. She could have understood his reaction but she did not expect him to say all those hurtful things that made her feel like she was an incompetent mother. She had thought of how he had told her before, during the Mary Portico's case that she was a great mother. But after listening to how he had questioned her decision to leave New York, she had doubted if he'd ever meant what he told her before, at all. She thought that maybe it was just his way to comfort her at that time.

She could not understand why suddenly it was as if he hated her. It was like he had been waiting for her to do something like what she had done so that he could finally attack her judgment. Of all people, he should know how much she loved her children. For every time their cases would involve children, he was the first to notice that the case had affected her much just because they hit close to home. She could not understand why he just stood there tonight and kept attacking her at all the loopholes that he could find. She had expected for the worst reaction her resignation could elicit from him, but none of those did even come close to how he really reacted.

The way he talked to her, it was as if she had thought only for herself and not for her children as well. She would never do that. Her children were always her priority. She had never thought that Mac would think that she could be that selfish to go with Cade not thinking of what would happen to her children. It was unfair to say the least. She had never expected that their relationship would end this ugly and it was what hurt the most.

* * *

"Oh God, Jo. I'm happy for you but this is heartbreaking." Lindsay exclaimed the moment Jo stepped into their office.

"Already?" Jo asked as she received Lindsay's tight hug.

"Of course. You only have two days left before you leave us for San Francisco. The memo had just been sent." Lindsay said as she sat back down, looking at Jo with sad eyes.

"I'll miss you dearly, Jo."

"I'll miss all of you, Linds. You've been amazing to me. I hope people there would be as nice as you were." Jo said meaning her every word.

"So you're going to be with Cade, right?" Lindsay asked, her enthusiasm now showing.

"Yup!" Jo said, could not help but smile at her too.

"I'm really happy for you, Jo. Cade makes you so happy." Lindsay beamed at her.

For the rest of the day, their team just fussed over her all the more. And while everybody had expressed their sadness over her resignation, they also expressed their happiness that she found someone who loved her and she loved back.

* * *

The most difficult part came two days later, when she had to say goodbye to their team. Everybody had just swarmed into her office during lunch for a mini farewell party. Everybody was accounted for, except for one. Jo had looked for his face first and she was disappointed to see that he did not even bother to put on a show and join them. As they ate and talked, her head kept on swiveling towards the door, half-expecting that he would enter the office and mumble some excuse to them before sitting down to partake the food with them. Mac never came.

Mac knew that there was a mini party for Jo. His team had been talking about it since they'd been informed about her resignation. They had tried to keep it under wraps and he realized that they were successful in keeping it as a surprise when he heard Jo's childish squeal when the team finally revealed the big secret. Don and Lindsay had been bugging him to join them and he had told them that he would. But when they were about to go to Jo's office, he pretended to be on the phone with some urgent matter. After he heard Jo's surprised reaction, he silently and discreetly crept out of his office and went down the lab. He had wanted to join them. He wanted to be with Jo on her last day at the lab. But he was too ashamed of everything that he had said to Jo that he did not know how to face her. He mostly did not want to go in and join them, pretend that everything was okay. He did not want to pretend that he did not know that he had hurt her. The pain that he had inflicted on her was apparent in her eyes, it was impossible to miss. He wanted to apologize to her but he could not even bring himself to go near her, he could not even look her in the eye. Every time he'd sneak a peek at her, he'd feel small for what he had done. He could only hope that he could have a short moment with her, alone, so that he could at least apologize.

Mac had just gotten out of the elevator and was walking toward his office when his eyes automatically looked into the direction of Jo's. It was almost the end of her shift, the end of her last shift at the lab. He stood hovering near the door to his office and watched her as she put things into a cardboard box. He felt the urge to just walk over and tell her what he wanted to tell her but his feet won't move. He just stood there and after a few more heartbeats, he saw Jo turn her head and in one breath, her warm eyes were piercing at his. For a few seconds his eyes stayed fix on hers. Everything around him seemed hazy, much like when they were dancing at the fundraising dinner. He felt the strong urge again to go up to her but then fear and shame got the better of him. Instantaneously, he looked down at his feet, and in one swift move, he went inside his office and secluded himself from the rest of the world again.

Jo's heart had plunged deep when Mac turned his head away and went inside his office. She had only wanted to be able to say goodbye to him before she leaves the lab, and him. He was not in the farewell party earlier where it had not been much of a party when all she did was to cry as one by one their team hugged her goodbye. It was a family that she had grown to love and it was heartbreaking to leave the family that had stuck with her through thick and thin. It might only been a few years, but those years were enough to let her know that what they had was genuine and special. She had planned on going to Mac's office before she went home to thank him for his friendship and for everything that he had done and had been to her before she would bid him a final goodnight and goodbye. She thought that leaving this lab was painful enough; she did not need to add another painful thing to remember when she thought of this day. But when Mac turned away and entered his office, Jo decided to walk past his office without so much as a wave or a peek at him, thinking that maybe it would be easier for her to leave him this way.

Before Jo went down to the ground floor to take a cab home, she made her way to the morgue to look for Sid first. Of all the farewells she had to do today, it was with Sid that had become the most difficult and painful. At one point in their lives, they had shared to one another the deepest secret they had been keeping from other people. At some instances they chose to divulge their secrets to the other person first before they told everybody else. At some point in their crazy lives, they had lifted one another's burden and carried it for them even for just a short period of time.

When they hugged each other for the last time, both of them were in tears, promising each other that they would still keep in touch and that they could still be each other's crying shoulders whenever they needed one. When they finally let go each other, and after expressing their gratefulness for each other's friendship, Jo got in the elevator one last time and waited as it sends her down to the ground floor.

In the cold November night, before ducking her head inside the cab that would take her home where she would spend her last night in New York, Jo took one last sweep at the building that housed the lab, the place that held too many memories of mostly good and some bad, where she had fell in love and got hurt, where she had gained and lost the most important bond she had formed with the one person who she thought she could forever keep in her life.

If only life worked like the way movies did, Jo could have seen, while she was gazing up the tall, illuminated brick and mortar, a shadow hovering by one of the windows. A pair of molten gray eyes were trained down on the street where the man to whom they belonged to knew that somewhere in that tiny strip of gravel below him, was his heart. His heart that was going further away from him with every breath that he took.

* * *

**You guys, thank you so much for reading and for all the reviews. Life's bitching on me right now and well, I just want to say that I'll reply to the PMs soon. For now I just want to thank all of you for the support. As always, your reviews are very much appreciated so please don't forget to review/comment on this chapter. Again, thank you very much.**

**PS. Not yet the last chapter :D**


	33. Chapter 33

_**From Chapter 32**_

_In the cold November night, before ducking her head inside the cab that would take her home where she would spend her last night in New York, Jo took one last sweep at the building that housed the lab, the place that held too many memories of mostly good and some bad, where she had fell in love and got hurt, where she had gained and lost the most important bond she had formed with the one person who she thought she could forever keep in her life._

_If only life worked like the way movies did, Jo could have seen, while she was gazing up the tall, illuminated brick and mortar, a shadow hovering by one of the windows. A pair of molten gray eyes were trained down on the street where the man to whom they belonged to knew that somewhere in that tiny strip of gravel below him, was his heart. His heart that was going further away from him with every breath that he took._

**Chapter 33**

A couple of hours after Jo left the lab last night, Mac took his coat off its rack and went home himself. He walked his way home, ignoring the cold that was penetrating even his bones. Unconsciously, he needed the cold to accompany him in his walk. It numbed him from feeling everything. It numbed him from feeling the pain of losing her. As he trudged his way home, his mind was occupied only by a single person, all his thoughts circling around her. When the sun shone its rays in the morning, he would not see her smiles anymore. He would not hear her laughter anymore. No more squeals, no more giggles, no more Southern drawl, no more… no more Jo.

He was already in bed when he realized that he did not even know when her flight would be. He did not even bother to ask her about her flight details, if only to make sure that she'd arrive safely. He did not even ask if she would need some help to get them to the airport knowing that she had already surrendered her car keys, along with her ID, gun, and badge. Needless to say, he did not sleep soundly at all. After a few minutes of napping, he would be awoken by thoughts of things that he should have done or said, his conscience nagging him all night through. It was already around four in the morning when he had managed to get a two-hour sleep, his body curled on his bed in a fetal position, something that he had not done in as long as he could remember.

When Mac arrived at the lab this morning, he had just sat on his chair for five minutes when they were called for a crime scene. It was already almost noon when they got back to the lab and everybody took an early lunch so that they could start working on the evidences when they'd eaten. Mac grabbed a couple of granola bars from the vending machine and was already munching on his second bar when another call came through and they had to go to another crime scene. By the time they got back to the lab, it was already late in the afternoon and the files on Mac's desk had already doubled in size.

While waiting for the results of the evidences they'd collected from the crime scenes, Mac sat down on his desk and picked up the top folder from the stack of files and began reading. He recognized the case as Jo's last before she left last night. He continued reading her report, hearing her voice instead of his own as his eyes slid through her typed words. When he turned to the last page of the report, his eyes were caught by something unusual at the bottom. Skipping the upper portion of the paper, he looked at the bottom, near the line where he was supposed to affix his signature where a neon yellow-green post-it note was stuck neatly.

Mac sucked in a breath as his heart began pounding painfully at his chest. In what he recognized as the neatest scribble she could come up with, he read the shortest yet most tormenting note he had ever received.

_Goodbye, Mac.  
Thank you so much for everything.  
Jo_

Mac stared at the handwritten note as a wave of misery washed over him. After a good while of staring at it, he let his fingers roam over the black ink as if he could feel the weight of her hand as she wrote the words. He was surprised how his heart seemed to respond to her words as his hand skimmed over it, beating fast and loud as it tried to break free from his ribcage.

Mac detached the post-it note from the report and folded it neatly; careful not to crease where her note was written and put it in his wallet. He felt the urgency to call her and apologize for what he had told her the other day. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and dialed her number but his call went to voicemail. He tried calling again but it went to voicemail again. He thought of how similar the scenario was to when he put Jo on suspension and she went to California. He tried their home number but it went to voicemail again, her voice telling him that they've already moved. His heart slammed into his chest when he realized how much he wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice again, and to apologize to her. The ache to see her or at the very least to hear her voice again was too much, it was almost physically painful.

He stood up and went to find Lindsay but when she told him that she did not know when Jo's flight was, he stormed out to find anybody who could tell him Jo's flight details. But no one could answer his question; nobody even knew which airline she'd booked her flight with. Already feeling the pressure building up inside him, he walked briskly to Jo's office. He was already at the doorway when he stopped abruptly. The office seemed strange to him. It was not how he remembered it to be. Her desk and computer were pristine. Not even a pop of color could be seen and he felt odd. He was used to seeing it chaotic, colorful, and lively. Now he was staring at the barest table he had ever seen. The office looked bland, flat, and non-dimensional. There were no folders, no papers, even the multicolored pens were not on the plain mug that used to hold them. He let his eyes roam the small room. Not even a tiny sign of her was left. Not even a single, crumpled neon-bright post-it note was left. It was as if she never occupied the room. It was as if he had just imagined her. And it scared him so much.

Mac snapped himself out of the trance that he had just got into when he remembered what he was supposed to do in her office. He pulled back her chair and sat on it as he turned on her computer. When the screen flickered to life showing the desktop, he frowned. There were four web browsers on her computer and he did not know which one of them she used in the last couple of days. He drew in a breath before he chose one from the four and opened it. He moved the mouse and clicked on the history tab of her browser and started going through the last couple of days' activities. When he did not find what he was looking for, he extended the search for the whole week's worth of sites. He glared at the screen when he still did not find anything, as if it was its fault that he did not saw what he needed to see. He closed the browser and opened another but the same thing happened.

Lindsay was surprised to see Mac tinkering with Jo's computer when she went inside their office. She gingerly sat down on her chair and fired up her own computer, all the while looking at the stern expression on Mac's face. Mac moved the mouse to the next browser and tried his luck, unfortunately for him though, he got the same result with the third browser, too. Lindsay could feel the frustration he was radiating and the anger that was starting to show from across the room. She wanted to ask him what he was looking for but bit her tongue when she heard him swore under his breath. Mac had just opened the fourth and last browser only to find out that the things he was looking for were deleted from it. He saw the search logs but never found the result pages nor the very thing that he needed to know.

Mac pushed the chair back as he stood up from it forcefully than required making it slam against the cabinet behind it. He was about to go out of the office when he heard Lindsay's small voice behind him.

"Maybe Adam could help?" Lindsay almost whispered.

Mac turned his head around and looked at Lindsay before looking at Jo's computer. Slowly, the crease on his forehead disappeared, replaced by a hopeful look on his face.

"Thanks." Mac said to Lindsay before walking purposefully to Adam's direction.

Mac asked Adam to retrieve the deleted sites, particularly those airlines' sites from the last browser of Jo's computer and told him that he needed it immediately. Everybody knew that Mac was never a patient man, and that knowledge drove Adam to work as quick as he could, rattled by the way Mac would go in and check on him from time to time.

Mac slumped back on his chair and took a swig from the bottle of water sitting on his table. He had been running around the lab trying to squeeze everything that he had to do in so little time. He had experienced a lot in so many years of being a CSI: the countless sleepless nights, the days when cases kept on piling one after the other, but he had never felt so exhausted as he did today. The thought of his friendship with Jo would end how it did was too much to bear. He had to try and save it for all it's worth.

"Boss." Adam's panic-laden voice shook Mac from his deep thoughts.

"Have you…" Mac was not able to finish his question when his eyes fell on Adam's ashen face.

"If you want to reach Jo in time, you have to leave now. Her flight leaves in about two hours. Rush hour traffic…" Adam suddenly stopped when Mac jumped out of his chair and jogged to take his coat and scarf from the rack and run to the elevators.

"Where?" Mac shouted as he pressed the elevator button.

"JFK." Adam shouted back startled, almost dropping the tablet he was holding.

* * *

"Damn it!" Mac uttered when he saw the manic Monday rush hour traffic in front of him. His mind frantically worked out a road plan that he could use so that he could be at the airport as fast as possible. He turned and maneuvered his car, driving up alleyways, looking for shortcuts all the while listening to the loud pounding of his heart.

"Please…" Mac whispered. "Please…"

* * *

He saw her looking at the flight schedules, her back to him. Ellie was beside her and they both have two suitcases each. He could not be happier when he saw them. He almost had to pinch himself to prove that this was not a dream.

"Jo"

Jo turned her head around at the sound of his voice from behind her. She grinned widely at him and walked the couple of steps toward him, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Cade. I missed you so much." She whispered into his ear.

"I've never been this glad to see you." Cade said, holding her tighter against him.

"Hi, Ellie. Ready for a new home?" Cade asked, beaming at Ellie.

"Yes. I'm excited to see that infamous fridge of yours." Ellie said making him laugh.

They checked in their luggage and walked to their assigned gate to wait for the boarding time. It was ten minutes before the gates opened.

* * *

"Adam, which terminal was Jo's plane?" Mac barked on his mobile phone, as he slammed on the brakes, swearing. He almost crashed into another car when he blindly took a turn without slowing down.

It was forty five minutes before departure time, five minutes before the gate opened.

After Mac got all the information he needed, he called an old friend as a desperate measure. He could now see the terminal and the long line of cars outside it. He put his gun in the glove compartment, overtook some cars, and parked his Avalanche directly outside the terminal. It was five minutes after the gate opened.

A uniformed airport security personnel approached him just as Mac got out of his car to tell him that cars were not allowed to park in that area. Mac flashed his badge at the security personnel who grimaced subtly before allowing him to past through.

Jo, Cade, and Ellie stood in line which had already gotten quite long, waiting to be boarded. It was about thirty minutes before departure time.

Mac got to the security lines but was denied access when he could not produce a ticket, much to his chagrin. It was about twenty seven minutes before departure time and his heart was running a mile a minute. About to lose his patience, Mac flashed his badge to the Security but still won't be let in. He clenched his jaw as he dialed a number on his phone but even before he could press the call button, someone clapped his shoulder from behind him. He turned around and let out a sigh of relief when he saw who it was.

Four more people in line before it was Jo's turn. She was looking at Cade, talking and laughing as they waited for their turn, their hands intertwined. Ellie was beside them, taking in the chaos in the terminal that also embodied New York one final time before they left. It was twenty four minutes before the plane took off.

Mac ran his way to the gate, trying to avoid colliding with anybody from the heavy foot traffic of the terminal. He glanced at his wristwatch and felt his heart hammered faster and harder in his chest. He felt himself broke out in a cold sweat, the nervousness and fear mixing together, making him feel like he was about to get sick. It was twenty minutes before Jo left the city.

Two more people before their turn and Jo was looking at the toddler in front of them who was making faces at her, causing her and Cade to giggle.

"Mom?" Jo heard Ellie's voice but doubted if she heard right when she saw her standing beside her, her back to Jo.

"Mom!" Ellie called again, this time turning to look at Jo.

"What's wrong, Ellie?" Jo asked worriedly when she heard the urgency in her voice and saw the look on Ellie's face.

Ellie did not answer her and slowly turned her head away from Jo. Jo followed her gaze and took a sharp intake of breath when she saw Mac standing a few steps away from her, trying to catch his breath.

Cade heard Jo gasped and followed her gaze too. He thought he was turning deaf when suddenly all that he could hear was the very loud thumping of his heart. He stood immobile, his mind boggled with thoughts of leaving New York alone, without Jo.

Mac stood struggling to even his breathing. He felt the burning sensation on his chest, and could even feel his blood pumping in his veins. He was relieved to see Jo but he was distraught at the same time when he realized he did not know what to tell her.

Jo wanted to go near Mac but she stood unmoving, as if she forgot how to use her legs. After a few seconds, she felt her hand slowly losing its warmth and was being replaced with coldness. She turned her head to look down at her hand and realized that Cade had let go of it. It was his hand that had been keeping hers warm. She looked up at Cade who gave her a tiny smile before walking a few steps away from the line to let the passengers behind go past them.

Jo looked back at Mac and slowly took the few steps to close the distance between them. When she got near him, she could see the sweat on his forehead, and the redness at the base of his neck. She realized he had rushed to get to her in time and she appreciated his effort. She looked up to meet his gaze which had not left her face since he saw her standing in line.

Mac tried to swallow to relieve his parched mouth but his effort proved to be useless when he felt it became even drier. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He took a deep breath, thinking of what to tell Jo. Then he remembered what pushed him to come here.

Jo watched as Mac took his wallet out of his pant's back pocket. He opened it and fished something out from it before he put his wallet back to his pocket. Jo blinked when she felt tears pricked her eyes. She recognized the neatly folded, neon yellow-green post-it note that Mac had taken out of his wallet.

"I… I saw this… And…" Mac paused and drew in a breath.

"Jo," Mac said gazing at Jo's eyes, his voice low and shaky.

"…the other night… I didn't mean to question your parenting ability. You are a great mother. I want to apo…"

"Sshhh… Mac, don't worry about it." Jo hushed him gently, slowly shaking her head at him.

Mac recalled how he was not able to apologize to her immediately before, when he told her to stay out of his business. He remembered how when he tried to apologize, Jo did not let him. It was only recently when he was able to say sorry to her but then it had not lessen the guilt. It did not make him feel any better; as a matter of fact, it only made him feel guiltier. He did not want that to happen again.

"No, let me do this. Let me say it. You always protect me from being humbled, Jo even when I deserve to be chided." Mac gazed at her, summoning every single sense of control he had, to ignore the ache to touch her.

Jo felt her tears pushing past her eyelashes and down to her cheeks until they leapt from her jaw. She could not bear hearing him say what he had just said but she also remembered how hurt she was after their argument the other night and when he walked away from her last night.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. I'm sorry for all the things that I've said. I have no right. I'm sorry for hurting you." Mac said, his hand slowly reaching up to gently wipe at her tears with his thumb. He lost the battle against himself when he could not keep himself from not touching her anymore.

"God, I hate seeing you cry." Mac whispered, close to tears himself. What he would give to stop those tears from falling, he thought. Those eyes were not made to cry. Her eyes were perfect when they were smiling, laughing, and even when they were mad. But he could not bear looking at those hazel eyes filling up with tears. He just could not. It broke him to see tears in them especially when he was well aware that he was the reason behind those.

"Oh, Mac. I'm gonna miss you so much." Jo said smiling through her tears. She reached up and pulled Mac into a hug, and Mac encircled his arms around her, still careful though not to crumple her post-it note that he was still holding in his hand. He shut his eyes tight and for a short while, his body and soul, his mind and heart were nowhere else but here at this very moment. All of him was here, with her.

When Jo pulled away, Mac continued staring at her. He knew this was his chance. His last chance. He wanted to tell her how he feels and as he stood there looking at her, he felt the desire to tell her his feelings getting stronger and stronger.

"Jo…" Mac said before pausing to swallow. His heart was about to explode. _He_ was about to explode. He could hardly contain his love for her that was being threatened by their situation right now.

"Jo… I…" The need to tell her the truth was intense but he suddenly thought of how his marriage with Christine had gone. He did not want them to grow apart as what happened to him and Christine. He got scared that Jo might eventually grow tired of understanding his memory problem, his lack of time for her when he had plenty for work, or she might grow tired of him being… him. The happiness that he saw in her when Cade became a part of her life, he feared that he might not be able to give her the same. He got intimidated.

"Mac?" Jo called when she saw him looking at her, deep in his thoughts.

"Jo, I…" Mac began but even before he could continue, he heard another voice calling her name.

"Jo" Cade called again, standing beside her.

"That's the final boarding call. We'll miss our flight." Cade's voice was a little breathless and almost broken. His eyes reflected uncertainty and fear.

Jo looked at Cade before looking back at Mac.

"Let's go, Jo." Cade said softly, almost reluctantly, holding her hand.

Jo turned her head to Cade, nodded at him before looking back at Mac.

"Bye, Mac." Jo said, flashing him a brief, sad smile before letting Cade lead her to the gate where Ellie was waiting for them.

Mac looked at Jo's retreating back, Cade's arm around her as if stopping her from looking back at him. He stood at the same spot even when he could not see Jo anymore. He waited until the plane had already departed, before he turned around to leave the airport.

_I love you, Jo. So much._

* * *

Cade had been holding his breath since he saw Mac at the terminal. He let Jo talked to Mac, leaving everything up to fate whether he would leave New York with Jo or go home alone. Up until the end, he waited and let Jo decide on her own. But when he saw Mac struggling to find his words to tell Jo what made him come after her, he could not endure to just stand there and not do anything. And as if to push him to act, he heard the last boarding call over the PA system, and he took it as his cue to go near Jo. He had only released his breath and started breathing normally again when their plane was already above ground where Mac could not run after Jo anymore.

Cade looked at Jo who was sitting beside him. She had been looking out the window, sitting silently, not uttering even a single word since they boarded the plane. It hurt him to see her like this and wondered if he should have just left without her. He extended his hand and cupped her face, guiding it toward him. When Jo turned to look at him, his heart plummeted when he saw her red-rimmed eyes. She had already stopped crying even before they had boarded the plane but the sadness in her eyes was enough to break his heart. He pulled her closer and pressed his lips against the side of her head.

Jo had waited for Mac to say what he wanted to say. She saw how he struggled but kept her hopes up that he could finally say what he wanted to let her know. But then she was disappointed when he did not just take the plunge and tell her what she thought he wanted to say. In a way, she was also relieved that Mac did not say anything. She could have put in a difficult situation had he talked. But she could not help but wonder if she was right, if what he wanted to say was what she wanted to hear too. She saw it in his eyes tonight. But she could have not been certain.

Last night, before she left the lab, even before she went to look for Sid, she thought of how to bid Mac goodbye one last time. She just could not bear to leave without saying goodbye to him. She had smiled bitterly to herself when she saw her post-it notes sticking from the cardboard box. Staying true to form, she wrote her goodbye on a sticky note and stuck it in the file folder she knew would reach him today. She did not expect him to come after her, though. It was a pleasant, albeit heartbreaking, surprise. It was a farewell present she would always remember.

Mac revved his car engine and drove away from the terminal. His mind could not shake off Jo's image as she cried and the melancholy in her eyes. He wanted to erase the sorrow in her eyes but he did not know how to. He wanted to tell her that he loved her but he could not bring himself to say those three little words. Christine was right, he thought. He was a coward. Their situation did not help either. While he was about to get divorced, she was with Cade. He smiled bitterly when he thought that this was the only time he had hugged Jo that long and that tight. But it was a goodbye hug. This was goodbye.

Out of nowhere, a loud horn blared that pulled him out of his reverie. He looked up and slammed on the brakes when he saw another car on his left almost colliding into him. He scolded himself just as the other driver shouted profanities at him. He forced himself to focus on the road if he did not want to kill himself. But as soon as he had thought that, he also thought how the pain that was eating him alive right now could very well kill him too. The pain was agonizing. This was not sadness at all. This was grief. This was mourning. This was the death of the heart inside his chest because as far as he was concerned, his _heart_ had already left him and was now thousands of feet above ground.

* * *

By the second week of December, everybody in the lab knew that Mac was now divorced from Christine. Mac had to update his records with Human Resources and rumors in the lab traveled fast so by the next day, the whole population of the lab, whether day or night shift staff already knew the latest about him.

It could have been okay with him, considering he did not really care what they thought about his marriage or the dissolution of it. What pissed him off was when some lab techs would use a sympathetic approach on him. Some of them would even stop talking about their Christmas plans whenever they see him near them. He did not need sympathy and he did not want that. But he could not tell them that lest he be called bitter or in denial.

By the end of the second week, Sinclair had already found a new Assistant Supervisor. After a week of working with her, Mac thought she was good and suited the position. She was thorough and her reports were detailed. The team had warmed up to her too. She and Mac shared the same outlook in handling their cases, also.

But she was not Jo.

* * *

It was the day after Christmas and Mac went down to the morgue to check on the body they had found lying on a ditch early this morning. He had not gone home for three days straight and he was not even sure if he wanted to go home tonight either. His team had noticed that he had gone back to his old habit but nobody dared to tell him anything. So they all just kept an eye on him and let him be, thinking that it was his way of coping up with the divorce.

"Merry Christmas, Mac." Sid greeted him jovially when he saw him got off the elevator.

"Likewise." Mac said grimly.

"Do you already have the report?" Mac asked as he approached his table where Sid was sitting looking at some postcard.

"Yes. Let me get it for you." Sid said, standing up to take the file from the table behind him.

Mac stayed standing beside Sid's desk and let his eyes roam over it while waiting for the report. He looked at the postcard Sid had been reading when he got off the elevator and saw that it depicted the Golden Gate Bridge. He was about to look up from it when his eyes caught something beside the postcard. It was a blue envelope that he guessed must have come with the postcard. What grabbed his attention though was not the envelope itself. It was the recipient's name and address, written by hand, that was scrawled on it that had caught his attention. It was Jo's handwriting.

Mac stared at the envelope as he felt his heart raced in his chest. His mouth suddenly went dry and he swallowed with difficulty. He stared at it some more before he reached out to touch it. At first he just let the fingertip of his index finger touched the ink. Then he let his three other fingers roam over it gently. He missed seeing that scribble on reports, on notes, on forms. He missed her too much.

"It came yesterday but I was on leave." Sid said when he saw what Mac was doing.

Mac looked up at him as he snatched his hand away from the envelope like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Sid flipped over the postcard and read the short handwritten note on it to Mac.

'_I could never be too far. Merry Christmas!'_

"I missed her already, Mac." Sid said, smiling sadly at him.

"Yeah. Me too." Mac whispered, nodding. When he realized what just came out of his mouth, he paled under Sid's piercing gaze.

Sid looked at Mac, wondering if he was bold enough to ask Mac about something that had been bugging him.

"The report?" Mac asked, wanting to run away from Sid's inquisitive eyes.

"Mac, before you updated your records with the HR, even before the divorce was filed, I was just wondering… have you told anybody about it?" Sid asked, deciding that he was bold enough to ask him after all. Carpe Diem had become his new motto since his diagnosis.

Mac frowned at Sid, wondering why Sid would ask such question.

"No, I did not tell anybody." Mac answered. "Why?"

"Not even a single soul?" Sid inquired again.

"Nobody. Why Sid?" Mac asked, his curiosity piqued.

Sid shook his head at him.

"Nothing. I was just wondering." Sid answered, handing the report to Mac.

Mac looked at him curiously, about to ask him more but his ringing phone stopped him from doing so. He went up to the lab, Sid's report in his hand, to respond to another crime scene. It was not after Sid had sent his report on the second victim that Mac understood the purpose of Sid's inquiry.

When Mac opened the folder containing Sid's report, a blue envelope fell down to his lap. When he picked it up and turned it over, his breath stalled in his chest. It was the envelope with Jo's handwriting on it. The one he saw on Sid's table. On the flap, a small note was taped on it, which Mac could recognize as Sid's handwriting.

_You should have told __somebody._

* * *

**My 'thank yous' would never be enough to express how grateful I am to all of you, for reading and for the reviews/comments that pushed me to continue writing. This had been long but I hope you'll still stick around for the last chapter I'm going to upload, hopefully, soon. Meanwhile, I'd love to read your reviews about this chapter so please don't forget to type it in the box below. Thank you! :D**


	34. Chapter 34

_**From Chapter 33**_

_When Mac opened the folder containing Sid's report, a blue envelope fell down to his lap. When he picked it up and turned it over, his breath stalled in his chest. It was the envelope with Jo's handwriting on it. The one he saw on Sid's table. On the flap, a small note was taped on it, which Mac could recognize as Sid's handwriting._

_You should have told __somebody._

**Chapter 34**

Mac opened the bottom drawer of his desk and brought out a blue envelope. It was a little crumpled at the edges, and the flap had already curled up but the front side where the address was written was still smooth and the handwriting still legible. He had kept it since the day Sid sent it to him. He understood what Sid had meant by his note that he stuck on the envelope but he did not understand why Sid was telling him that he should have told Jo about the divorce. Out of curiosity, Mac had waited until Sid's shift ended and went down to inquire further but Sid did not say anything more. He just told him that he felt that Mac should have had told Jo about it.

Mac positioned his chair in a way where nobody from the outside could see what he was doing. He gently pulled up the flap and brought out the few pieces of pictures that had been seeking refuge in the envelope all this time. Under different circumstances, he would have put one of these in a frame and put it on his desk instead of sneaking like a thief just to take a look at them. The first picture was taken during their first Christmas party with Jo. The next was a picture of him with Jo and Lucy during Lucy's birthday party. The third was a picture of the two of them beside a Ferrari, taken after they'd found out the contents of the secret compartment installed on it. The next few were taken during their group nights-out. Then another Christmas party, Jo's second with them. Next was taken during Jo's third Christmas party with them. And the last was their group picture at the church during his and Christine's wedding. He had been grateful when he found this particular picture wedged somewhere among their wedding pictures. Jo had left the reception early and was not able to join them for a group photo that night. It was the only photo of that day that had Jo on it, and it was the only picture they had together where she was not standing beside him.

Mac sighed heavily before returning the pictures inside the envelope and stashed it at the bottom drawer again where it had been residing. He stood up and walked out of his office to grab a bite, feeling the need of some fresh air. It was a lazy day and it was during these lax days that thoughts of Jo would enter his mind freely. It was also during these days that he would miss her the most.

It had been more than four years since Jo had left New York. During the first three Christmases, Jo had never forgotten to send them e-cards, except for Sid who'd always received a postcard with a short handwritten note from her, snail-mailed from San Francisco. On the fourth Christmas though, they did not get any kind of greeting from her and though they, or _he_, had sent her one, it had taken her almost a month before she sent him a cold reply of 'Thanks. Hope you're all good.' He did not dare send another e-mail to her after that. Last year, she'd sent them an e-card again and Sid had received a snail-mailed card too but the greetings lacked the warmness that she naturally gave off.

Mac walked out of the lab building and strode to the diner two blocks away from it. He ordered a burger and waited patiently for his food to arrive.

Over the course of four years, whenever Mac would find himself thinking too much of Jo, he would take out the post-it note he had been keeping in his wallet for four years now, and ran his fingers over her words. Whenever he'd miss her badly, he would bring out the blue envelope and look at their pictures, stare at her face for a while before keeping it safe again at his bottom drawer. It's his way to cope with the affliction.

When he was done with his lunch, he did not stay any longer at the diner, not because he got to rush somewhere, but because he had already relived enough of the memories that this particular diner held. This was where Jo would always drag him for her burger fix. This was where they used to hung-out together, just the two of them.

Mac had just escaped the little contraption of memories that was the diner when his heart started banging against his chest. His hands went cold but he felt sweat on his forehead. Suddenly, breathing became difficult and he felt like he was being suffocated. It had been more than four long years but he would never not recognize that air she exuded when she walks, the stacked colorful bracelets, the multi-layered necklaces, the rings on almost all of her fingers, the cross-body bag, and those black bikers' boots. He was almost palpitating, his chest rising and falling too quickly he thought it would burst open. She was at the opposite side of his street, walking the other way. He tried to call her but she did not hear him. The loud horn-blaring of the busy New York traffic drowned out his voice. He tried again but he was not heard. She continued walking away from him.

Mac willed his legs that seemed to be frozen on the spot to move. At first they felt weak and wobbly, but he forced it to move. They could not fail him now. Finally, he was able to take a step, then another. Pretty soon he had already crossed to the other side and was jogging his way toward her. He saw her stopped at the sidewalk, waiting for the lights to change, about to cross another street. He broke into a run just as the lights changed.

"Jo!"

Jo's heart thumped loudly in her chest and she drew in a sharp intake of breath. She recognized the voice. It had been more than four years since she'd heard his voice but no matter how long the time, she would never forget that low, throaty voice. The lights had changed and she had to cross the street but she turned her head from side to side, trying to locate where the voice had come from.

"Jo"

She heard it again, but it was softer now, gentler, and closer. She inhaled deeply before she dared to look behind her where she thought the voice had originated.

"Mac"

She smiled at him as she called his name. And for the thousandth time, he wondered yet again why his name sounded different in her lips.

"It's really you." Mac had only managed to utter, staring in awe at her. He felt paralyzed again.

"It's really me." Jo laughed softly at his mesmerized look before she opened her arms at him, as she always did.

Mac took the few steps toward her and enclosed her into a tight embrace. He could finally believe that this was not a dream. She was here. In his arms.

After a while, they finally let go of each other.

"How are you?" Jo asked, her eyes shining under the summer sun.

"Are you still with the lab? How's Christine? Any kids?" Jo asked, her eyes sparkling at the last question.

Mac gave her a tight lipped smile.

"Christine and I... it did not work out." Mac said, his eyes taking in the changes in her face as well as the same features he had dreamt about over and over in the past few years.

"What? What do you mean? Why?" Jo asked in shock, her forehead creased in confusion.

Mac shrugged.

"Guess it was really not meant to be, right from the start."

"I don't understand, Mac. How long have you been..." Jo trailed off, not knowing what their status had become.

"Divorced; for more than four years now. Almost right after you left." He took in her every feature, trying to commit every single thing in his mind, only to do so again.

Jo gaped at him, her hand flying to her mouth.

"Oh my God, Mac! I didn't know… I…" Jo mumbled, perplexed.

Mac shook his head at her as he was brought out of his reverie by her surprised tone.

"It's okay, Jo. It was not meant to last." Mac gave her a small smile.

"How are you? How's Ellie? Tyler? Ellie's about done with college right?" Mac asked successively, all the while not letting his eyes look anywhere but at the face he had missed so much. Then, like a bad joke, he remembered something painful.

"How's Cade?"

The twinkle in her eyes immediately went out and Mac noticed the drastic change in her composure. Jo smiled at him sadly before looking down at her feet. She looked up again to him, the small, bitter smile not leaving her face. She gently shook her head at him as her eyes brimmed with tears that she tried to blink away.

"Jo, what happened?" Mac's urgent, concerned tone was as genuine as it had ever been.

Jo sniffled and Mac saw the tears that had escaped from her eyes which she quickly brushed away. When she looked up to meet his gaze again, he noticed the brave face she had put on, but her eyes gave her away.

"More than two years ago, he had a lead about one of his cases that he had been working on for a long time. He followed it and found the person he was looking for. But he did not turn out to be who they thought he was. It was already too late when he found out, and…"

She paused and inhaled deeply.

"Single gunshot wound in his chest. Right at the heart." Jo said wiping at her tears a little roughly.

"Jo. I'm sorry..." Mac said, not knowing what to say. He could feel the agony that she was trying so hard not to show.

"At least he did not suffer." Jo said, pursing her lips in an attempt to smile but eventually gave up.

Mac's face reflected the same misery that Jo's face had displayed. He could not look at the grief in her eyes any longer and so he pulled her gently into his arms and held her tight, ignoring the looks the pedestrians gave them. It broke him too, to see her like this. Whatever feelings he had been keeping for her had now been set aside. For now, Jo only needed a friend and a crying shoulder, and he would be very much willing to be such, and only such.

After a short while, she gently pulled away from him. Jo put on a real, albeit small, smile while looking at him, shaking her head gently.

"As always, Mac, ready to lend me your shoulder to cry on whenever I needed it." Jo said. "Thank you."

"I'm always here for you, Jo." Mac said sincerely.

"Are you rushing somewhere? Do you want to talk a little? There's a coffee shop over there." Mac said, motioning behind him. He had been waiting for this meeting to happen he was not ready for it to end yet.

"Aren't you on duty?" Jo asked, eyeing his usual dark suit and the badge clipped on his belt, telling her that he's still with the lab.

"Yeah. But they can call me on my phone if they need me." Mac said, dismissing the insinuation that he had to go back to the lab.

Jo smiled at him before slowly reaching up to touch his cheek.

"You've changed." Jo said softly.

"Not much, Jo. Some… things about me would… never change." Mac said, fighting the urge to touch her too.

* * *

"…so that's why you didn't send any Christmas greeting that year." Mac said, looking at her.

Jo nodded, swirling what's left of her coffee around the cup.

"But why didn't you tell me, Jo? Or anybody? Even Sid didn't know what happened to you." Mac said, concern written all over his face.

"I didn't want to bother any of you, Mac. I have to deal with it on my own." Jo said, looking down at her coffee.

"You won't _bother_ me. And you don't have to deal with things on your own." Mac felt the nagging guilt at the pit of his stomach. "But of course, I didn't ask you either. I should have thought that something went wrong when you did not send anything that December."

"Mac, you couldn't have known." Jo said, noticing the frustration on his face.

"I should have known also that you were undergoing a difficult situation yourself. But I didn't ask too." Jo said, thinking of the divorce.

"It's not that difficult, Jo. I've accepted it even before she filed it. We parted amicably; we both accepted that it's a dead end for us." Mac said, leaning back on his chair.

Jo could see the peaceful expression on his face and knew that he was telling her the truth. Their divorce was a mutual decision.

"I'm just wondering, Mac and it's okay if you don't want to answer it. But what caused the divorce?"

"Differences. Irreconcilable differences." Mac said simply, a little reluctantly.

Jo watched as Mac's expression changed from being peaceful to reluctant. There was something he was not telling her but she knew that he was protecting his privacy. She did not ask anymore.

"So what are you doing here? Are you staying here for good?" Mac asked, avoiding Jo's inquisitive eyes.

"Oh, no, I'm not. Ellie and I will fly back to San Francisco tomorrow. Tyler got engaged the other day. Would you even believe? How fast time flies indeed." Jo said happily, enthusiasm of a proud mother evident on her face.

"Wow, that's great news. When would the wedding be?" Mac asked, happy for the piece of good news that made Jo glow in bliss.

"Early next year. Oh my God, Mac. We can't deny it anymore, we're old." Jo said laughing.

Mac reveled at the sound of her laughter that he had been trying to imagine and replay in his head over and over since she left.

"Do you really have to… drag me into that acceptance?" Mac asked smiling at her which made her laugh more.

"Hey, why didn't you go to the lab to visit us? I wouldn't even know that you're here if I didn't see you earlier." Mac asked, leaning forward.

Jo let out a breath before shrugging.

"I don't know how to face all of you. I don't want to go there for the first time in four years and then just be too emotional on… you know, what had happened. That's not the Jo you knew. But oh, Mac, I missed all of you." Jo said sincerely. She had wanted to visit them since she got back to the City but she was scared that she would break down in front of them and she did not want that. And remembering the last argument she had had with Mac the night she resigned, she was scared that there might be nothing for her to go back to.

"Do you want to come with me to the lab?"

"Now?"

"Yes, I have to go back in a few minutes." Mac said, looking at his wristwatch.

"Do you think I can…?" Jo asked hesitantly.

"I'll be there with you." Mac offered, though he could see the clear reluctance on Jo's face.

"I'll hold your hand all the way through. I won't let go until you want me to." Mac tried, hoping that she would go with him. He could see that she really missed the team and he knew that it could somehow ease the pain she was suffering from. She was still part of their family, after all.

Jo looked at Mac diffidently.

"Promise?" She asked, her eyes almost fearful.

Mac flashed his boyish, shy smile at her, but his eyes spoke of sincerity.

"I promise."

* * *

When they got on the elevator, Jo started twirling her necklaces with her fingers. She was a little nervous but Mac could also see the excitement in her eyes. He reached up to gently entangle her hand from her necklaces. Jo looked at him and smiled back when she felt him held her hand, just as what he had promised.

When they reached the 35th floor, Jo gingerly stepped off the elevator. Her heart swelled with all the memories that came rushing to her. It was like magic when all that she could remember were the good memories as if there were only good things that had happened to her here.

She had only taken less than ten steps when she heard Adam's voice shouting self praises. She looked at Mac who rolled his eyes at her. They walked purposefully to where Adam was, both of them grinning like a fool.

"Oh my God! I can't believe this. Mac, is it really… Oh my! JD! You're back!" Adam's frantic shouting caused half of the lab techs to come out and see what was going on. Along with the lab techs who came out to check on the shouting were the rest of the team that Jo had not seen for the last four years but felt like a lifetime.

"Jo!" Lindsay exclaimed the minute she saw her.

Within seconds, she was swarmed by the team who took turns to give her a warm, welcome embrace. When Jo reached up to hug the first person who approached her, she was reminded that her hand was still interlocked with Mac's. She looked at him and smiled, a wordless assurance that she was fine, causing Mac to release his hold. But Mac did not left her side, ready to give his support should she needed him to.

After a short while, Mac ushered the whole team to his office, including the new Assistant Supervisor who was introduced to Jo, after making sure that there were no pending urgent matter to be done. All of them were at his office, including Sid and Don who went up the moment Mac told them that Jo was there. It did not take too long before the inevitable moment happened. Jo recounted Cade's fate to the team when they asked about him. Mac saw how Jo struggled to keep her tears from falling and walked up beside her before placing his hand on her shoulder.

The warm welcome of the whole team touched her heart. The fear was now gone. She still had their affection. She was still part of the family. And Mac finally understood what she was really worried about and smiled to himself. It didn't matter if she was with them for only a few years. They would always welcome her as part of their family and nothing would change that. She need not be worried about that.

When it was time for Jo to go home, Mac offered to send her to Tyler's where she was staying. She declined at first but Mac won't let her go without letting him drive her home and she eventually agreed. When they arrived at Tyler's, Mac offered to send her and Ellie upon knowing that they planned to take a cab to the airport the next day. Jo politely refused telling him that everything had been arranged but he would not hear any of it.

By four in the afternoon the next day, Jo and Ellie were already in the car with Mac. He planned to take them for an early dinner before he sends them to the airport, much to Jo's bewilderment.

"What? You used to have no qualms in letting me buy you a burger." Mac teased her.

"Yeah but that was because it's already the end of our shifts. And that's my way to make you go home." Jo retorted beaming at him.

"Oh! It figures." Mac said chuckling. "Don't worry. I'm not on duty. I took the night shift yesterday…" Mac stopped talking when he realized that Jo was glaring at him.

"You mean to say that you enlisted yourself to a twenty four hour duty. Without going home, without sleeping?"

Mac grinned at her sheepishly.

"You're right. Some things about you would never change." Jo said, sighing dramatically, causing Mac to laugh.

Ellie, who was sitting at the backseat had been listening to the banter between Mac and her mother. She smiled to herself before looking out the window. _Some things would never change._

* * *

When they got to the airport, Mac felt a wave of misery washed over him. He could still remember vividly the time he rushed to the airport to get to Jo. He was relieved that this time he was here with her without feeling dreadful, without almost killing himself.

Jo remembered the last time she was at the airport as well as Mac. It was a painful memory that she could never erase from her mind. Every word that he had told her was still etched deeply into her mind.

When they got to the security lines, Mac pulled Jo into a tight hug. He asked her to keep in touch. He told her to call him anytime of the day may it be at the middle of the night or early in the morning. He told her to call him for any reason that she could think of and even without reason at all. He had told her every single thing that he wanted to tell her, except for the only thing that he needed to tell her. He knew she was not ready.

Jo wanted to know what Mac could have told her the night she left with Cade. Even when happily living with Cade, she had not forgotten that Mac went to the airport, confused, miserable, almost panic-stricken, but had something to say that he eventually did not say. Now was her chance to ask him about it. But she did not dare. Whatever it was, she was not ready.

For the rest of the year, Jo's phone would always ring at least once, every single day. Mac made it a point that never would a day pass that he would not call or at the very least, text Jo just to see how she was doing. Jo would call him too, sometimes to whine, sometimes just to talk, and sometimes, even without reason at all. Somehow, his voice seemed to make things a little bit better, a little bit bearable.

For more than six months, Mac and Jo's communication was done only through the phone and sometimes through the computer; until the day of Tyler's wedding. Tyler told his mother that he wanted to invite the team to his wedding. He knew they were an important part of Jo's life and he did not want for him to be the only one happy on this special day, thus he sent an invitation to the crime lab knowing that their company would make Jo elated. He knew how much Jo had gone through and he thought this would be his way to thank Jo for being a wonderful mother to him. He knew exactly what would make Jo happy.

The music had been playing at the reception for a good while now when Jo joined the CSI table. She had just sat down when Sid played out his plan for the night. He had thought hard about it and knew that he could not execute it alone. But he knew what to say to make other people join him in his plan without them knowing it.

"You're glowing, Jo." Sid complimented her, which Danny agreed to.

"Thanks Sid. I'm so happy for Tyler." Jo said smiling at them.

"That dress looked perfect on you. It brings out the color of your eyes." Sid added, could hardly contain his excitement.

"Thanks Sid. You don't look bad yourself." Jo smiled before narrowing her eyes at him, sensing something odd.

"It would be a pity if it won't even touch the dance floor tonight." Sid continued, his eyes twinkling under the soft lights of the venue.

Jo tilted her head at him.

"Sid, if you want to dance with me, you can just say so, you know." She said laughing.

"I'd like to but I tire quickly." Sid said, shrugging at Jo. "Signs of aging." He winked at her to let her know that it was not due to his illness.

Jo could see the mischievous smile that was starting to crawl on his face but she did not have enough time to form her perception about it when she heard Don's voice.

"Well that's not a problem. Mac will dance with you, Jo. Whaddya say, boss? Heard you're a great dancer." Don teased, grinning at him.

Jo's eyes immediately shifted from Don to Sid just as he breathed out a sigh of relief. Jo finally understood what Sid was trying to do.

Mac opened his mouth to decline but changed his mind. He stood up and walked toward Jo before holding his hand out to her.

"May I have the honor of this dance?" Mac asked, making the whole team gape at him. They could have never expected that he would agree just like that.

Jo paused for a while, quite surprised that he let Don push him around without putting up a fight first. Slowly, she took his hand and stood up before the memory of the fundraising dinner, where they'd last danced permeated her mind.

This time, she won't hurt anybody.

When they were walking toward the dance floor, the music that had been playing suddenly stopped. Jo looked to where the DJ was and saw Ellie hovering near him. She wondered what might be the problem when suddenly the lights over the dance floor got dimmer. When Mac and Jo assumed their position, she saw Ellie smile at the DJ just when another song started playing. They moved to the rhythm as the opening chords played out, but their movements slowed down when the vocal came on.

_Two old friends  
__Meet again  
__Wearin' older faces  
__And talk about the places they've been__  
_

Jo looked up at Mac and her eyes met his gaze. She was astounded at the intensity of his eyes. They spoke directly to her heart, conveying his message of longing that his words could not capture enough.

_Two old sweethearts  
__Who fell apart  
__Somewhere long ago  
__How are they to know  
__Someday they'd meet again  
__And have a need for more than reminiscin'__  
_

Jo felt her eyes welled up with tears and tried to blink it away. She had gone through so many things in her life. They both had gone through difficult phases in their lives. They had gone separate ways and she had thought that they'd never see each other again. She had never imagined this day would come.

_Maybe this time  
__It'll be lovin' they'll find  
__Maybe now they can be more than just friends__  
_

Mac reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his eyes never leaving hers. He tried to stop himself but the ache to touch her was just too much that he was not able to resist anymore. His heart raced in his chest when his fingertip brushed lightly against her skin. He had waited for so long to finally be able to do this.

_She's back in his life  
__And it feels so right  
__Maybe this time  
__Love won't end__  
_

Mac gently ran the back of his fingers against Jo's cheek, his eyes pleading to hers not to let the tears fall. He had not thought that she would be back and that maybe they would be given another chance. And now that she's here, he would do everything in his power not to see those eyes fill with tears again.

_It's the same old feeling  
__Back again  
__It's the one that they had back when  
__They were too young to know when love is real__  
_

Mac reached both his hands up and wiped at the tears that had started cascading down her cheeks with his thumbs. He had loved her even before he married Christine. But his stubbornness and his fears had stopped him from crossing the line. He had thought that it would be easier for him to ignore what he was feeling for Jo and to keep her close to him as a dear friend. He now knew that he could keep her as a friend, but his heart would never lie and never hide how he truly felt for her.

_But somehow some things never change  
__And even time hasn't cooled the flame  
__It's burnin' even brighter than it did before  
__They got another chance and if they take it  
__Maybe this time  
__It'll be lovin' they'll find  
__Maybe now they can be more than just friends__  
_

Jo sucked in a breath when she felt the warmth of Mac's touch that radiated from his heart as he tried to erase the pain in her heart by wiping her tears away. How she felt toward Mac had always been clear to her but she could have never thought that it would be this much. When she felt love toward Cade, her love for Mac did not cease to exist. It simply had to be put aside. Now that it was free again, it overwhelmed her to know that she could feel this much love for him, even after all these years.

_She's smilin' like she used to smile way back then  
__He's feelin' like he used to feel way back when  
__They tried but somethin' kept them  
__Waiting for this magic moment__  
_

A sob came out of Jo's mouth and Mac pulled her closer to him. When he felt it inadequate, he pressed his lips against her forehead just as another sob escaped from her lips.

"Oh, Mac" Jo's quivering voice shot through Mac's heart and reverberated throughout his soul.

Jo wrapped her arms around Mac as he gently cradled her head at the nook of his neck. Mac shut his eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fall but a tear had still managed to escape from it.

"I love you, Jo." Mac blurted out as Jo held onto him.

"I love you." Mac whispered into her ear.

_Maybe this time_

When he felt Jo pulling away from him, his heart slammed against his chest. He did not want to loosen his hold on her but his arms acted on its own accord and let Jo pull away. He could only hope that he had not made a mistake that would push her away from him.

Jo looked into Mac's eyes, her hand reaching up to cup his face.

"I love you, too." She said, almost like a whisper, smiling through her tears.

_Maybe this time_

For a while, Mac stared at her, trying to assess if he heard her right. But the warmness of her hand against his cheek, the softness of her body against his, the radiance of her smile, and the twinkle in her eyes all told him that he was not dreaming it. She loved him.

When the thought finally dawned on him, a smile started spreading on his face. He let his eyes caressed her face and for a few moments, they were both lost in each other's eyes. When he could not contain it anymore, while still looking deep into her eyes, Mac leaned in inch by inch as he closed the gap between them. He placed a finger under her chin and gently tilted up her face toward him. He let his lips glide over hers, gently and softly, making Jo close her eyes. He let his lips graze over hers again before he finally dipped his head lower and with slightly parted lips, kissed her a little deeper.

_Maybe this time_

Jo's heart fluttered in her chest when she felt Mac's lips on hers. She felt warm and fuzzy, and there was no other way but to close her eyes and let her senses tell her how much Mac loved her. She felt her heart responded to each time his lips would capture hers, making her kiss him back and hoped that he could feel how much she loved him too.

Mac gently pulled away before leaning his forehead against hers. He slowly opened his eyes and looked into hers.

"I love you." He whispered to her. He could say it over and over but it would still feel not enough.

"And I love you too, Mac." Jo said, smiling at him. She'd never get tired of telling him that, now that they'd been given another chance.

_Love won't end_

* * *

**Song used: Maybe This Time by Michael Murphy**

**Thank you very much for the wonderful reviews on the 33rd chapter. All of them were touching and I appreciate them very much. I really can't thank you enough. And to Laura (guest reviewer) thank you for the thorough review. I really loved reading it :) **

**I know I said this would be the last chapter and I tried to fit everything in here but it was still not enough. So there's going to be a short epilogue which I would upload very soon. Meanwhile, please give me some reviews on this chapter. Thank you very much ya'll! ;)**


	35. Epilogue

_**From Chapter 34**_

"_I love you." He whispered to her. He could say it over and over but it would still feel not enough._

"_And I love you too, Mac." Jo said, smiling at him. She'd never get tired of telling him that, now that they'd been given another chance._

_Love won't end_

**Epilogue**

He could still remember the first wedding in her family that he had attended. It was four years ago and it was the happiest day of his life, then. Now he was witnessing another milestone in her, in _their_ lives.

During the night of Tyler's wedding four years ago, when they finally pulled away from each other's arms and their senses brought them back to reality, they realized that everybody was looking at them, clapping their hands at the beautiful portrayal of love that had just unfolded right before their very eyes.

Russ was the first one to approach them to embrace Jo and place a kiss on her forehead before he shook Mac's hand. Tyler and Ellie did the same and when another song came on, Tyler danced with Jo while Ellie danced with Mac. After the dance, Mac and Jo went to the CSI table and received the team's hugs, kisses, and teasing.

"Took you long enough." Don had teased Mac. "But I'm glad you finally did it."

"Finally." Sid had said, smiling at Jo.

Jo took her hand from Mac's hold and embraced Sid.

"Thanks to you." She whispered.

"I've got nothing to do with that, Jo. You're really meant to be with each other."

"Still, I want to thank you for everything. You pushed it tonight and look at how incredible it turned out." Jo insisted, to which Sid nodded.

* * *

Jo had stayed in New York for a few days more before she went back to San Francisco. It had been during one of their park dates when Mac finally found the courage to broach the very topic that he wanted to avoid as much as he wanted to talk about.

"Are you still going to stay in San Francisco?" Mac had asked Jo with uncertainty. He would not want for Jo to think that he expected her to change some things in her life just because they were a couple now.

"Actually, we have a satellite office here in New York." Jo had told him, trying to keep her smile from showing.

Mac stared at her for a moment, debating whether to ask her to move back to New York or let her decide on her own.

"Do you… Would you… I mean, only if you want… maybe…" Mac stuttered his way through his question but was cut off when Jo leaned in and gave him a quick kiss instead.

"We're moving back to New York. Ellie's done with college and she wanted to work here." Jo said with a sly smile, could not keep her smile from showing anymore when Mac just looked at her, dumbfounded.

"You look cute when you're baffled." Jo teased him, chuckling.

"I guess I should just prepare myself to be kissed anytime, huh." Mac said when he finally got his composure back. He was not surprised by the kiss at all actually; he just did not have any idea how to express the happiness that he was feeling.

"I love teasing you. I love watching you blush under my charm." Jo smiled seductively at him, tracing the length of his nose with her index finger.

"Don't I know it." Mac said, holding her hand.

Jo looked at him as Mac pulled her slowly toward him to kiss her again.

They'd finally be together, he had thought.

* * *

Mac smiled at the memories that had just replayed in his mind. The road to happiness with the woman he loved had not been easy. It had had more than its fair share of bumps, twists, and turns but none of it mattered anymore when all he had to do now was to look beside him and he would always see her by his side. Their love for each other felt more real to him because it had withstood the test of time and distance and it had only burned even stronger after everything it had gone through.

Mac leaned back in his chair as he continued walking down memory lane.

It had already been a little more than two years since Jo and Ellie relocated back to New York when he had decided that he could not wait anymore. He had used his superb investigative skills, and also asked for Lindsay's and Ellie's opinions before he ventured out to find the perfect ring for her. It had not been easy but when he found it, all of his researches were forgotten. It was his heart that had decided that he had found the perfect ring to offer his love for Jo with.

He had been offered different kinds of rings in the many stores he'd gone to; some of them studded with diamonds, gems and whatnots. What had caught his attention though was the ring that had a round cut white diamond with marquise-cut sapphire side stones set on a platinum band. It was a little quirky but sophisticated, a perfect epitome of her character.

The proposal was much simpler. He had just asked her to have dinner with him in an Italian restaurant that was not too fancy at all. Jo did not expect though when she came home that night that Tyler and Ellie would already be inside, waiting for them. After embracing her children, she had asked them why they were even at her place. They did not answer her question and just stood beside the couch, grinning widely at something behind her. When Jo whipped her head around, he went down on one knee and cleared his throat as he tried to calm his nerves.

"Jo, it had taken way too long before we finally got to where we are right now. And I know that my fears and worries were the reasons why it had taken this long." Mac had paused and tried to swallow to relieve the dryness of his throat.

Jo stood unmoving, her face a clear canvas of surprise.

"I may look tough but I have weaknesses too. And I have some ugly flaws. But… as broken a man as I am…" Mac inhaled deeply before he finally asked the question he'd been dying to ask her.

He had seen the moist that was starting to blanket her eyes, becoming emotional as she realized what he was doing.

"Jo, will you marry me?" He had finally managed to get the words out of his chest. But his heart still banged loudly even as he fumbled with the small box in his hand, showing her the ring.

The first thing that he had heard was her gasp and the first thing that he'd saw was the tears as they fall down her eyes. Then he'd heard her voice saying the only thing he wanted to hear that moment.

"Of course, Mac. Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She had said in her broken voice.

When he had finally put the ring on her finger, his heart started beating normally again as they shared a kiss as a seal to a promise of union.

* * *

Mac was brought back to the present by Ellie's voice. He looked ahead and saw the projector flashing a bright rectangular light on the wall.

"I would like to share to you a little compilation of my pictures with a special person in my life. And though he's not here with us, I know that he's happy for me and also for my mother. He had been my father for only a short period of time but I'll be eternally grateful to him because he'd accepted me and loved me like I'm his own child. Thank you so much Cade for being a father to me, for loving and taking care of me and mom. I'll never forget you." Ellie's tears started trickling down as pictures of Cade and her and some taken with Jo, flashed on the wall.

Mac saw Jo nabbing at her tears with a napkin and held her hand. She gently squeezed his hand as her way of thanking him for the silent support and both did not let go until the mini slideshow ended. The party resumed and after a while, Ellie and Andrew, the newlyweds, joined the crowd on the dance floor. Andrew had stuck with Ellie even after the night she blew him off on their supposed Valentine's Day date. And Ellie knew then that he was the one.

Jo watched as Ellie squealed in delight when Andrew twirled her on the dance floor. She was very happy and it was enough for Jo. She knew that as long as her children were happy, she would live the rest of her life contentedly, especially now that she knew she would not have to walk down the path alone.

* * *

A smile crept up her face when Jo remembered a fond memory.

"Do you really want a big wedding? I mean church, gowns, party and all?" She had asked Mac while they were looking through wedding catalogues.

Mac had stared at her as if she came from outer space.

"Are you saying that you don't want that?" He'd asked her, confusion written all over his face, his brows furrowed.

She stood up from the floor where she was sitting and sat beside him on the bed.

"Well, I already had one with Russ. You had it twice already. I just don't think that I'd want to go through all that fuss again. I thought maybe we should just have a simple wedding. I mean, the wedding won't define the marriage itself, right?" She had said, looking at Mac whose frown kept on getting deeper.

"Don't look at me like that." She had exclaimed, turning his head away from her with her palm, laughing.

"I just can't comprehend that you'd want a _simpler_ wedding. I thought our plan for the wedding is already simple." Mac had said, still frowning a little.

"Well, it's just one day ceremony and no matter how big or small, how extravagant or simple the wedding would be, it still has no implications over the marriage. But if you really want a not-that-simple wedding, we can still do that. It's fine with me too." She'd said shrugging her shoulders, compromising.

"Okay, let's see, how simple do you want our wedding to be?" Mac had asked reluctantly.

Her lips slowly tugged into a smile, her eyes twinkling.

"I'm thinking… very simple. Like… city hall-simple?" She'd said, grinning sheepishly at Mac.

Mac's eyebrows shot up upon hearing what she had just said.

"City hall? You want us to get married… okay, Jo… Are you sure about that? Or are you worried about the expenses that we'd incur?" Mac had asked in disbelief. "Because if this is about the expenses…"

"No. No, it has nothing to do with all of those." Jo had cut him off, waving her hand dismissively in the air.

"It's just a promise to be with each other, right? The ceremony is not important to me; after all it's just like formality. I just want to be with you." She'd said smiling, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Mac had appeared to contemplate on this a little before he finally asked her.

"Is that what you really want?"

She had nodded her affirmation and then laughed when she heard what he'd said next.

"I knew you'd be different from the others since the first day I saw you." He'd said smiling at her.

"That's also why I love you so." He'd added before kissing her.

* * *

The day after their wedding at the city hall, they went to Kiawah Island for their week-long honeymoon. Mac had kept it as a surprise, telling her that they had to postpone their honeymoon because he had to solve some important cases. Knowing Mac's nature, she hadn't questioned it. They had planned another honeymoon instead that was supposed to happen a month later. It was only after the wedding that Mac had told her to pack her bags because they're going to their first honeymoon the next day. Their second honeymoon, the one he had planned together with her would still happen a month later.

They had stayed in a hotel where the spacious master's suite had the view of the ocean at one end and the golf course at the other. Jo had still been sleeping soundly then when Mac gently shook her shoulders to wake her up. She had complained to him that it was too early for her to get up given that it was their honeymoon and it's part of the privilege to be able to sleep longer. But Mac just smiled at her as he dragged her to the big picturesque window in their room. She had squinted at the clear blue sky then, looking for whatever it was that he was pointing at. She was about to face him and complain again when from a distance, she saw three small aircrafts positioned themselves directly across their direction and started expelling smoke. She had inhaled sharply when it finally dawned on her what the aircrafts were doing in the sky. The aircrafts danced their ways against the plain blue backdrop as they slowly formed the words that made Jo gasped in surprise and in delight when they'd finally finished the message.

_Mac & Jo_  
_Always_

The message written in the sky was in cursive, and ended with a heart right below the word 'always'.

She had turned around to face him, aware of the goofy grin on her face but stopped short when she saw the solemnity of his expression.

"I cannot promise you forever, Jo. There's no such thing. But I can promise you Always. I'll always love you, Jo. I'll always be by your side. I'll always take care of you. I'll always be here for you." Mac had told her sincerely while gazing deeply into her eyes.

"As I for you." She had told him just as a stray tear fell from her eye. She had wanted to say more but the intensity of the moment rendered her speechless.

Mac had leaned in to kiss her and she met him halfway, brushing her lips against his. He pressed his lips lightly against hers before he parted his lips ever so slightly, taking his time, and was about to capture her lips in his when she suddenly jerked away from him.

Mac had looked at her startled, and confused.

"Mac, wait. I want to take a picture of the skywriting." She had exclaimed, as she searched frantically for her phone.

Mac had rolled his eyes and sighed at Jo but could not help but smile at the woman he loved so much.

"It's already gone, Jo. But don't worry about it. I asked someone to do it already, even asked them to record it on video." Mac had said, scratching at his head while chuckling at her who had been putting out things from her bag, trying to locate her phone.

Jo had turned around abruptly, eyes wide, grinning broadly at him.

"Oh, you did?"

Mac let out a small laugh at Jo's childlike expression.

"Yes, I did." Mac had said smiling, approaching Jo.

"We have more important things to do, Jo." Mac's face had suddenly gone serious causing her to stop smiling and look at Mac questioningly and worriedly.

"What things?" She'd asked him, crease on her forehead.

Mac took another step towards Jo.

"This" Mac whispered and finally locked his lips with Jo's.

Jo kissed him back but after just a few seconds, she started giggling against his mouth when she remembered the expression on his face earlier when she pulled away from him to look for her phone. Mac heard her giggle and leaned back to stare at her.

"I'm trying to kiss here." He had mumbled, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it." She had said, before bursting into another fit of giggles.

Mac slowly shook his head, his own face splitting into a wide grin. In the blink of an eye, he had lifted her over his shoulder causing her to squeal as he carried her back to the bed. Soon enough, the whole room was filled with giggles, sighs, and moans.

* * *

Mac heard Jo chuckle beside him and turned his attention to her.

"Let me guess; you're thinking about the skywriting again, aren't you?" Mac teased as if he could read her thoughts.

Jo laughed and nodded her head at him. She then looked deeply into his eyes as she reached up and cupped his face before letting out a satisfied sigh.

"I've never thought that we'd find our way to each other again. I thought we already lost our chance. I just can't believe how we'd manage to cross paths again."

Mac opened his mouth to say something but then a fragment of memory came to mind. He smiled before voicing out the thought to her.

"Because I held on, Jo."

"And I'm glad you did, Mac. Because... I guess I haven't figured out then, but somehow, well, I nee..."

"You needed me to hold on." Mac smiled at her as he held her hand in his.

Jo smiled at Mac, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She did not know how he seemed to know what was going through her mind but she did not ask anymore. It did not matter now. She just leaned back against his body when she felt him wrapped his other hand around her waist and faced ahead to watch Ellie and Andrew as they danced to a slow song.

Mac placed a firm kiss on the side of Jo's head when yet another memory filled his mind. She was right, he had thought. Claire was right.

_Everything finally fell into place._

_This was the right time._

__**~THE END~**

* * *

**Whew! So we finally reached the end, after 3 months. It had been difficult, painful, and just emotional ride for me. But thanks to all of you for reading, thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews; these were what pushed me to continue. From the bottom of my heart, thank you very, very much! To 5/11/13 guest reviewer, thank you! :) **

**Again, THANK YOU to each and every one of you! :D**


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